Thursday, February 9, 2017

Terrorist Terror-List

DATELINE: WASHINGTON, D.C. 

Stinging from the public's disapproval of his recent Muslim Ban, a furious President Trump went on the offensive earlier this week. Trump claimed the U.S. is under constant terrorist attack, and accused the media of severely under-reporting these incidents.


The President recently spoke to troops at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida on these alleged attacks, saying, "It's gotten to a point where it's not even reported, and in many cases the very, very dishonest press doesn't even want to report it."

We're living in an era in which everyone's constantly walking around with a compact video camera in their pocket, so the idea that a major terrorist attack could ever go unreported seems dubious at best.


Nevertheless, the White House today released a list of seventy eight known terrorist attacks that were not reported by the news media. 

Here is a partial list of the alleged, under-reported attacks:

Attack on Fort Knox by the known terrorist Auric Goldfinger.
Total Loss of life: 113

Attack on the Nakatomi building by the terrorist Hans Gruber and several other German ex-patriots.
Total loss of life: 15

Destruction of the Death Star by terrorist Rebellion forces.
Total loss of life: 1,179,293

Attack on New York City by the Asgardian terrorist Loki and his Chitauri army.
Total loss of life: 1,319

Destruction of the White House in 1996 by extraterrestrial terrorists.
Total loss of life: 329

Attack on Metropolis by the Kryptonian terrorists Zod, Ursa and Non.
Total loss of life: 1,742

Destruction of the Triskelion (S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters) by terrorist forces of HIVE.
Total loss of life: 2,673

Destruction of the Death Star II by terrorist Rebellion forces.
Total loss of life: 2,471,647

Destruction of the Republic of Sokovia by the terrorist robot Ultron:
Total loss of life: 9,329

Attack on the Cyberdyne building by infamous terrorist Sarah Connor, her teenaged son and an unknown accomplice.
Total loss of life: 1

Attack on Gotham City by the terrorist Bane.
Total loss of life: 523

Bombing of the Sokovia Accords in Paris, France, by terrorist Helmut Zemo.
Total loss of life: 533

Attack on Immortan Joe's Citadel by the terrorist Imperator Furiosa.
Total Loss of life: 275

Destruction of Buenos Aires by terrorist Bugs from the Klendathu system.
Total loss of life:8,764,596. Would you like to know more?

2 comments:

  1. Great post. I want to steal the whole thing because you picked some great 'underreported' attacks. Damn lying media.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Buenos Aires attack was especially tragic!

    ReplyDelete

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