Hacienda Does It Again!

If you're a regular reader of my blog (as millions are), you know of my fascination with regional Mexican restaurant chain Hacienda and their series of increasingly puzzling billboards.

Hacienda's marketing campaign seems to be based on the old adage that "There's No Such Thing As Bad Publicity." To that end, they regularly feature billboards with controversial messages, apparently for no other reason than to get people talking about them. You can see some of their past dubious efforts here.

This is their latest billboard, that I spotted just down the street a couple days ago. There's nothing particularly controversial about this one, but it is mystifying.

Just what the hell is "Adult" Mac-N-Cheese? What does that even mean? How is mac-n-cheese adult?

Does it mean it's extra spicy, and kids won't be able to handle it? Do they pour a little alcohol in the cheese sauce? Or does it mean the pasta's x-rated, and is shaped like pee-pees and hoo-has?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Roly-Poly Fish Heads!

Over the weekend I saw this new billboard for regional Mexican restaurant chain Hacienda (that means "house!").

OK, I get that it's supposed to be humorous, but I'm afraid it's gonna backfire on them. Somehow the image of an entire dead, raw fish wedged between two bun doesn't exactly whet my appetite, or make me want to rush out to Hacienda.

One of these days I would dearly love to sit in on one of Hacienda's marketing meetings, if for no other reason than to see what horrifying ideas they decide NOT to use in their advertising!

This isn't the first time bizarre ad Hacienda has run. You can see a brief history of their insane marketing here.

Oh, Hacienda, You've Done It Again!

Regional restaurant chain Hacienda (that's "house" to you and me) is in hot water yet again for their latest billboard. The ad reads, "The Best Mexican Food This Side Of The Wall," and is obviously a jab at human pumpkin Donald Trump and his insane plan to build a barrier between the U.S. and our neighbor to the South.

Naturally, tons of people here in the no-fun Offended States Of America lost their sh*t and complained bitterly about the billboard, calling it tasteless and offensive.

I'm glad to see all other problems in our nation have been solved, so we can finally focus our efforts on outrage over a goddamned billboard. For the record, I thought the billboard was mildly amusing at best, but I'm not the least bit offended by it. I've got better things to do than try to get a billboard taken down.

Sam Centellas, executive director of La Casa de Amistad (that's the House of Friendship to you and me) was foremost among the whiners, saying, "There's a difference between being funny and being offensive. What I'd love to hear is how do their employees feel and how are they treated in a culture that regularly puts out pretty offensive advertising related to Latino culture?"

Well first of all, Sam, the billboard isn't making fun of Latino culture. It's making fun of the loudmouthed orange homunculus that's pretending to run for president. As for what Hacienda's employees think, they're no doubt far too busy working three jobs in an effort to get by to worry about a message on a billboard.

Hacienda's Executive Vice President Jeff Lesie said, "We don't intend to upset anybody, but we do use humor. When you use humor, there's going to be some groups that are particularly sensitive to certain things."

Supposedly Hacienda caved in to the whiners and promised to remove the billboards around the state. Either they were lying, or they just haven't got to my city yet, because they're still up.

Hacienda is no stranger to advertising controversy. A few years ago they ran this billboard. As you no doubt know, many hospitals use the "code" terminology to alert the staff of an emergency without alarming the public. Code Red means "Emergency." Code Blue means "Cardiac Arrest." And Code Brown means "Patient has soiled themselves, their bed and possibly the walls, bring a mop and bucket." Probably not something you want your clientele to think about while they're eating your highly volatile Mexican food.

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Earlier this year they ran this ad, which I assume is a play on "Sh*t Faced." Crude and provocative perhaps, but not offensive.

And then there's this one, which is obviously a reference to the Jonestown Massacre. Yeah, this really happened-- it's not one of my Photoshop fakes. Even I have to admit they went too far with this one. Especially with the little "To Die For" tag, which is like one final little twist of the knife. Jesus Christ! I guess they couldn't think of any Holocaust-related food puns?

Chip Faced

Take a look at this billboard I recently saw for Hacienda, a regional Mexican restaurant chain here in Indiana. Their food's pretty good, but they're definitely not taking the high road with their marketing strategy. 

Obviously their "Get Chip Faced" slogan is a thinly disguised version of "sh*t faced." That has to be what it means, right? I can't think of anything else they could be going for here.

Oddly enough this isn't the first time they've done something like this. A while back they were running these "Code Brown" billboards all around town. 

As you no doubt know, many hospitals use the "code" terminology to alert the staff of an emergency without alarming the public. Code Red means "Emergency." Code Blue means "Cardiac Arrest." And Code Brown means "Patient has soiled themselves, their bed and possibly the walls, bring a mop and bucket."

Someone on the Hacienda Marketing Team is definitely a big fan of turd-based advertising puns.

Before And... After? Or The Other Way Around In Reverse?

I drive by this billboard every day on the way to work. I had to stop and take a photo before they change it and it's gone forever.

Just look at those dramatic before and after photos. What a startling transformation! Why, the subject's just a shadow of his former self. His own mother wouldn't recognize him.

I ain't sure, but I think he may look a little worse in the After photo!

Helpful tip for any health spas out there: Try and take your Before and After photos more than 15 minutes apart!

Soon I Will Conquer The World!

I took this photo a while back during the local election season. I don't know anything about this gentleman, but I love his name! Dr. Kremzar! It's so cool. He sounds like a super villain. I can just hear him broadcasting from his blimp hovering over the city, saying, "Attention puny citizens! Give me one billion dollars immediately, or I, Dr. Kremzar, will release Formula X-J2 into the city's water supply! Bwah ha ha hah ha!"

With a name like that, he could also be a Star Trek character. "Dr. Kremzar, meet me in transporter room three!"

Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks it's a cool name. If you look closely you'll see the good Doctor has apparently trademarked his own moniker!

By the way, I voted for Dr. Kremzar, solely on the coolness of his name. Alas, it wasn't enough, as he lost his bid for county coroner. Maybe next time.

Alien Slacks In The Wild

I was driving to work this morning and saw two of my Alien Slacks
 billboards here in town. Cool!

Nah, I'm just yankin' ya. They're fakes. There's no such product or billboards. They're just examples of my highly successful imaginary career. You know, as opposed to my real one.

Current quantum theory posits that there may very well be an infinite number of parallel universes somewhere out there in the ether, each containing a slightly different version of Earth. I'm confident that somewhere out there in the multiverse, these billboards–and my wildly successful career–actually exist.

Ad Copy By Professor River Song

Saw this on the way to work today. Looks like Professor River Song is now writing billboard copy. Either that or someone at McDonald's ad agency is a Doctor Who fan.

I fully realize that all the non-Whovians out there are scratching their heads at this. Good. Now y'all know how I feel when you start talking about football or reality TV.

From a design standpoint, I'm curious as to why the "sweetie" has been so obviously stretched. Just compare the e's in "pucker" to the e in "sweetie." Why the awful horizontal scaling? There are better ways to justify a block of text, McDonald's.

Alien Slacks Billboard

Just an imaginary ad for a non-existent product.

After I drew the alien in his spiffy new slacks, I thought, as I often do, how I could make the illustration  more complicated. So I placed him in an alien environment, added a logo and cheesy tagline and turned it into a billboard ad.

The logo was hand lettered (with a little distortion help from Illustrator).

Drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet.

BADvertising

Get a load of this billboard for local Mexican restaurant Hacienda. It features a nurse displaying a desert dish that consists of an enormous cookie topped with three scoops of ice cream and drizzled with chocolate syrup.

Some overpaid corporate genius at Hacienda's headquarters got the bright idea to name this desert, "Code Brown." Oh, how I wish I could have sat in on the marketing meeting for this promotion, just so I could find out how this idea ever got out the door.

As everyone knows by now, many hospitals use the "code" terminology to alert the staff of an emergency, without alarming the public. The meanings of the codes vary from hospital to hospital, but generally they go like this:

Code Red: Emergency
Code Blue: Cardiac arrest, bring the crash cart
Code Brown: Patient has soiled themselves, bring a mop and bucket

What would possess a company to use that terminology on their restaurant billboard? Especially one promoting chocolate?

And lest you think it might have been an innocent mistake, my boss pointed out that the obviously fake nurse in the ad is named "Tina LaDuttie." That's "LaDuttie," pronounced like "doodie." That pretty much proves it was deliberate.

Some friendly advice for the Hacienda marketing team: Customers generally don't care to think about poo while they're eating Mexican food (though they'll be thinking about it all too soon the day after). Especially chocolate covered Mexican food. Perhaps next time you should pick a name for your desert that doesn't remind people of an uncontrollable bowel movement.

Dumb Slogan Dumb

As I may have mentioned now and then on my little blog, I work in the marketing field, so I have a more than passing interest in advertising, logos and the like.

So it is with that in mind that I look at this new ad slogan from the Quaker Oats company and say "What. The. Frak?"

"Go humans go?" I don't even know where to begin. What the heck does that even mean? Why does it say "humans?" If it's specifically mentioning our species by name, then surely it wasn't crafted by humans, was it? Did some of those sign language-speaking chimps commission this billboard? Did these suddenly sentient primates look around at what Man has accomplished over the millenia and decide to send us an opposable thumbs up? Seriously, I don't get it.

Or could it be that the off-center Quaker Oats Man is the one urging us on? I always thought he was, well, a Quaker. From Earth. You know, a member of the Religious Society of Friends. I guess I was wrong and he's from the planet Quaker. Maybe his race is looking for a new world to colonize and it's not a motivational slogan, but an order, as in "Go from this planet, vile humans, GO!" If so, then expect the first wave of the invasion fleet full of shock troops to land any day now.

Once again I have to mention that this slogan didn't write itself. There was no doubt an advertising agency involved, plus numerous copywriters and designers as well as countless executives from the Quaker Oats company. I wouldn't be surprised if 100 people were involved. I cannot believe that not even one of the people who worked on this project didn't look at this slogan and say, "Wow, that's... that's really awful. What the heck is that supposed to mean, anyway? How is this promoting our oatmeal?"