What's The Deal With All The Penguin Movies?

Last week at the movie theater I saw a poster for Mr. Popper's Penguins. My first thought of course was, "Looks like Jim Carrey needs a boat payment." My second thought was, "Holy crap, there've been a buttload of penguin movies in the past few years!"

The sampling above was the result of about five minutes of googling. I'm sure there are probably more that I missed.

So why the love affair with penguins? Is it because people think they're cute? Because they supposedly look like they're wearing tuxedos? They don't, you know. Where's the bow tie, the buttons and the handkerchief in the breast pocket? Pretty shoddy replication of a tuxedo, if you ask me.

There are other birds out there you know. Why no chicken movies? Chickens are funny. And flamingos. You can't tell me that flamingos aren't amusing. Or storks. Ostriches! A movie about ostriches would be knee-slapping hilarious!

Why aren't there any eagle movies? Eagles are the symbol of our country, for poop's sake. It seems downright unpatriotic that there aren't any movies about dancing eagles. Penguins don't even live in America, they're all the way down in the bottom of the world, in Antarctica, about as far away from America as you can get. Seems downright un-American that Hollywood prefers making movies about Commie penguins over red-blooded American eagles. I'm writing my congressman immediately and demanding he launch an investigation of "Commie-Wood."

In the meantime, stop going to see all the damned penguin movies, and maybe we'll get some movies about other kinds of birds!