Saturday, May 19, 2018

How Boring

DATELINE: Bell Air, California 

This week super-genius and inventor extraordinaire Elon Musk (the real life Tony Stark) announced his next major venture creating his very own candy company.

According to a statement released this week, Musk's confectionery company will be called Boring Candy, named of course after his own Boring Company, which sells, among other things, hats and flamethrowers (no, really).

Musk claimed he's looking to staff his factory with "Jovial, sturdy short-statured workers with orang-tinted complexions and green hair. The ability to sing, dance and compose short songs on the fly is a must."

Musk will celebrate the opening of his new Boring Candy factory by inviting five select children and their families for a special behind the scenes tour.

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