Thursday, March 25, 2021

Return The Snyder Cut!

After literally years of fanboy whining, Warner Bros. recently released the infamous "Snyder Cut" of their abysmal Justice League movie. 

Snyder's new Justice League: Do-Over restores his original vision of the film, adding deleted subplots and giving the characters some much needed backstory. It also inflated the runtime to an astonishing FOUR HOURS and three minutes (!).

This morning Snyder announced yet another new version of the film— this one in Black & White! 

For those keeping score at home, this is now the THIRD version of this miserable film.

I'm looking forward to next month, when 
Snyder releases Justice League: The Upside-Down Cut (in which the image is rotated 180º), Justice League: The Backwards Cut (in which the entire film is shown in reverse) and Justice League: The Slow-Motion Cut (in which the whole film is played at 1/8 speed, boosting the runtime to seventeen hours).

Additionally, The Snyder Cut was inexplicably presented in a 4:3 aspect ratio— as were most pre-1950s films. Now he's gone even further back, eliminating color and releasing a Black & White version.

It's only a matter of time before he deletes the soundtrack in his Justice League: The Silent Cut.

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