This Is Why Automatic Ad Generation Is A Bad Idea

Take a look at this actual image of the Yahoo home page I saw yesterday. Note that it features a story about an eleven year old boy who was attacked by a shark… next to a very unfortunate ad for the Discovery Channel.

Hey Yahoo— you might want to think about retooling the automatic ad generation algorithm on your site.

Spell Check Fail

So a couple weeks ago I was typing up my review of the latest Doctor Who Christmas Special. As a general rule I like to write in Yahoo Mail and save the file as a draft, then when I'm satisfied with it, copy and paste it into my blog. Why such a convoluted method? Eh, why not?

Anyway, as I was furiously writing away, I accidentally typed "kikk" instead of "kill." Yahoo Mail then helpfully offered up a list of words it thought I meant, including, as you can see above, the word "kike."

Um… is there something you'd like to share with us, Yahoo? Whats the matter, you think "those people" own the internet too, just like they own Hollywood?

Bosses From The Eighth Circle Of Hell: Email

Throughout my career I've prided myself on working hard, performing what's asked of me to the best of my ability and being an all-around good employee. I've also done my best to get along with my various bosses.

Alas, sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes you end up with a Boss From The Eighth Circle Of Hell.

Back in the 1990s I worked at a marketing agency for a rather colorful Boss.

The Boss at this agency had a computer of course, but what he actually did with it I have no idea.

Case in point: He had an email account but the purpose of it seemed to elude him. Whenever he'd receive an email he'd tell his secretary (who had his email password) to print it to paper for him and lay it on his desk so he could read it. He claimed he couldn't read messages on the screen.

Conversely when if he wanted to reply to one of these printed messages he'd write a response on paper and have the secretary type it into his email account and send it for him.

Luddite? Technophobe? Barely sentient organism? You decide.

I Think Yahoo Is Trying To Tell Me Something

For the past couple of weeks every time I send off an email through Yahoo I see this screen, complete with the ad at the right. An ad featuring a ripped, half-naked guy asking me how much weight I want to lose.

What the hell are you trying to say, Yahoo? Are you telling me I'm fat?

I won't deny that I could stand to lose a few pounds. Who among us couldn't? What I don't understand is how Yahoo knows this. Does everyone with a Yahoo account automatically see this ad, regardless of of their girth? Or does Yahoo use some kind of algorithm that secretly searches the content of my emails, looking for key words like pudding, bratwurst and smorgasbord?

Do my emails make my butt look big?

Alien Email

Looks like Xlortho just got an email! I wonder who it could be from? One of his pod mates? His maternal birthing unit? The Galactic Senate?

Nope, it's just from a Nigerian prince.

Drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet.



Here's the original sketch. His static pose seemed a little dull, so I added his right arm with holographic projector.