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We live in a strange and wondrous world that sometimes just makes no damned sense. Case in point: the Tio de Nadal.
Once again we have a Krazy Kristmas Tradition that originates in Spain, which is apparently trying to wrest the coveted title of "Most Insane Country" from Japan.
The Tio De Nadal (which means "Christmas Log") is a large hollow log decorated with a painted face and red sock hat. It's generally supported by either two or four legs and is covered by a blanket so it doesn't get cold. It's also sometimes known as the Caga Tio, which means... "poop log."
It's brought into the house on December 8th, which as everyone knows is the date of Mary's Immaculate Conception. Each day the children of the house "feed" the log little bits of food to help it grow. The log starts out fairly small, but over the weeks leading up to Christmas the parents will covertly swap it out for increasingly larger logs to give the illusion that it's growing.
Now we get to the really Krazy part. On Christmas day the children command the log to poop. When nothing happens, the kids, armed with sticks, very literally beat the crap out of the Tio de Nadal. The log "poops" out small edible gifts, such as candy, nuts and dried figs. The kids even sing a traditional song as they beat it and it voids its bowels onto the living room floor.
I know it probably seems like I put socks on both of my hands and mashed down a bunch of keys on the computer to generate that last paragraph, but it's all well-documented truth.
You know that the log has completely emptied itself when it craps a salted herring onto the floor. That signals the end of the Tio de Nadal ritual.
I have so many questions... How did something like this every get started? Why a salted herring? And why do all of Spain's Christmas traditions have to do with defecating?
We live in a strange and wondrous world that sometimes just makes no damned sense. Case in point: the El Caganer figurine.
A Caganer is a small figurine from the Catalan region of Spain. Caganers are generally depicted as peasant men with their pants pulled down and in the act of defecating. They have been around since at least the 18th century and are a traditional part of Spanish nativity scenes. Yep. I said nativity scenes.
In Spain (as well as parts of Italy and France), nativity scenes don't settle for just the manger. They often depict the entire town of Bethlehem. complete with a farmhouse and figures of women washing clothes in the river, shepherds herding sheep, and more. And of course over in the corner, a little guy taking a dump.
The Caganer (pronounced sort of like caga-nair and meaning "pooper") is usually the most popular part of the Spanish nativity scene (natch!). Some families hide the Caganer and challenge their kids to find it.
So why a figure of a guy dropping the kids off at the pool? Some believe it's symbolic of fertilizing the Earth or some such Circle of Life crap. Some think it's to bring some levity to an otherwise solemn religious occasion. Others just think it's because poop = funny.
I just hope they have the good sense to leave the Caganer out of the Living Nativity scenes.
The traditional Caganer is always depicted as a man in peasant clothing, wearing a hat and sash and often smoking a pipe. In recent years Caganer figures have expanded to include celebrities, athletes and political figures.
All I have to say about Caganers is WHY AM I JUST NOW HEARING ABOUT THIS?
