It Came From The Cineplex: Insidious: The Last Key

Insidious: The Last Key was written by Leigh Whannell and directed by Adam Robitel.

Whannell is an Australian actor, producer, director and writer. He previously wrote Saw (both the original short film and the full-length feature), Saw II, Saw III, Dead Silence, Insidious, Insidious: Chapter 2, Cooties (which I liked quite a bit) and The Mule (Which is about a man transporting drugs in his rectum, who has to keep from pooping them out for four day or else be arrested. No, really). He also played the character of Specs in Insidious, Insidious: Chapter 2 and Insidious: Chapter 3. And he had a small part in The Bye Bye Man, which I'm sure he considers his proudest achievement.

Robitel is primarily an actor with just a couple of directing credits under his belt. He previously directed a couple of shorts, along with The Taking Of Deborah Logan (?).

So how is it? In a word, "meh." This is the fourth film in the Insidious franchise, which is definitely starting to feel its age. The Last Key is a largely scare-free affair, and feels like it's barely able to wheeze across the finish line. 

It doesn't help that this film is yet another prequel, which means there are few if any surprises. We've already seen the futures of series heroine Elise Ranier and her ghost bro pals Specs and Tucker in Insidious 1 & 2, so we know nothing of any importance can happen to them here. Since they're the only characters we care about and their futures are set in stone— why bother watching this installment?

Not to mention the fact that storywise, The Last Key puts the final nail in the franchise' coffin. The end of the film dovetails directly into the beginning of the original Insidious. With the circle now completed, there's literally nowhere for the story to go. I suppose they could try pumping out another prequel or two, but the series' timeline is already twisted enough without making it even more complicated.

In terms of plot, there's nothing here that we haven't already seen three times before. Somebody's being haunted by a ghost, and psychic exterminator Elise shows up to chase it off. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I suppose there might be a message in it somewhere about the effects of childhood trauma and PTSD, as we see flashbacks to Elise's shocking and violent childhood. Unfortunately this concept is given so little focus that the filmmakers might as well not have bothered.

There're also tons of coincidence in this film (as there have been all through the series), as Elise gets a job exorcising demons from a house— that just happens to be the one she grew up in. She meets a ghost who just happens to be the spirit of a woman her murderous dad killed years ago. And she runs into two teen girls who just happen to be her own nieces! Wow, what are the odds? As always, coincidence is the crutch of the lazy writer.

The film isn't all bad though. As always, the wonderful Lin Shaye manages to elevate the material, giving it much more depth and impact than it otherwise would have. Shaye's ghostbusting heroine Elise Ranier is a true badass, one who deserves to be in a better movie.

Shaye obviously realizes the rare opportunity she's been given here, and throws herself headfirst into the role. Her character is both fearless and intensely vulnerable, which makes her all the more likable and appealing.

Speaking of Elise, I'd like to point out how unusual it is to have a franchise with a female lead. One who's in her seventies as well! Most horror films are targeted toward the tween crowd, so it's a pretty ballsy move to cast a septuagenarian as the hero of a film series!

The SJW crowd is always whining about the lack of diversity and roles for women in Hollywood— especially older women. Welp, here's a four film franchise staring a strong, intelligent and independent elderly woman. I'll bet she even passes the "Blechhhdell Test" or whatever the hell they call it. And guess what? I've not heard a single peep of praise for Lin Shaye's performance or for Blumhouse Studios for casting her.

That's because SJWs only like to bitch and moan about supposed injustices. They can't be bothered to actually praise a studio when it does something right! As far as I'm concerned, these assholes can go screw themselves. You don't get to boo unless you're willing to cheer as well.

Lastly, I don't usually point out film producers, but I'm making an exception in this case. James Wan is the producer of Insidious: The Last Key. He created the original Saw film, and produced Saw II through VII, Annabelle, Insidious: Chapter 3, Lights Out, Annabelle: Creation and Jigsaw. He directed Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring, Insidious: Chapter 2 and The Conjuring 2.

My point? Well, James Wan and Leigh Whannel have done it again! For at least the second time now, they've screwed themselves over by killing off the main character in the first installment of a popular film franchise!

In Saw, they gave us John Kramer, aka The Jigsaw Killer, who was suffering from cancer. He ended up dying at the end of the third film, and the series has been struggling with his loss ever since, as the writers have to come up with increasingly convoluted ways to keep including a main character who's dead.

They did the exact same thing in the Insidious franchise. They inexplicably killed off Elise Ranier at the end of the original Insidious. Once again, the series has had to bend over backwards in order to keep including her. She returned as a ghost in the second film, and the third and fourth were both prequels, set years before her death.

Someone needs to sit Wan and Whannel down and explain to them how franchises work. If you want to have a SERIES of films, then it's probably best to NOT kill off the main character in the first outing. Makes it tough to keep going when you do that. Best to either not kill 'em off at all, or at least wait until you're sure the series is over. It's really not that tough to understand.

Despite the fact that the film is more of the same and not the least bit scary, it's a massive box office hit for Blumhouse Studios. So far it's made $164 million worldwide ($67 million of that here in the States against its minute $10 million budget!

Every film in the series has had a similar budget and gross, making it one of the more reliable and profitable franchises out there.This film ends by merging right into the beginning of the original Insidious. Since Elise dies at the end of the first film, this pretty much means the series is over. I'm sure though that if the box office is high enough, they'll figure out a way around this.

SPOILERS!

If you're like me, you've probably forgotten what the hell happened in the previous three Insidious films. Here's a quick rundown:

Insidious:
Josh Lambert, his wife Renai and their three kids move into a new home. After an accident, their son Dalton falls into a coma. Soon after Renai begins seeing ghosts in the house. Naturally he doesn't believe her, until his mother Lorraine begins seeing them as well.

Lorraine contacts her ghost-busting friend Elise Rainier. She arrives with her assistants Specs & Tucker, and they begin investigating the house. 

Elise explains that Dalton has the power of astral projection, and his spirit is trapped in a supernatural realm called The Further. She says while Dalton's body is empty, dangerous entities are trying to move into it so they'll have physical form. She senses that Josh is coincidentally an astral projector as well, and tells him he has to enter The Further to bring back his son.

Josh enters The Further and wanders into the lair of the red faced Lipstick Demon. He finds Dalton cowering there and frees him. As they run for their lives, Josh sees the ghost of an Old Woman and for some reason shouts that he's not afraid of her (?). Josh and Dalton then wake up in the real world.

Later the family recovers in the kitchen. Elise looks at old photos of Josh, and notices something in the background of one. On impulse she whips out her camera and snaps a picture of Josh. He shrieks that he doesn't like being photographed (who does?) and strangles Elise to death!

Renai enters and finds Elise dead and Josh gone. She picks up Elise's camera, and sees the photo she took of Josh— which looks like the shadowy Old Woman from The Further. We then realize Josh is possessed, just as he sneaks up behind Renai and puts his hand on her shoulder.

Insidious: Chapter 2:
The movie begins in 1986, when Lorraine Lambert discovers her young son Josh is being haunted by the spirit of an Old Woman (the same one from the first movie). She calls her ghost-busting friend Elise Ranier for help. Elise examines Josh and discovers he's an astral projector, who regularly sends his spirit into The Further. She suppresses his powers before he's possessed by the Old Woman.

Cut to the present day, just after the events of the first film. The police question Josh and his wife Renai about the death of Elise (who Josh killed while possessed by the Old Woman). For some reason the fingerprints on Elise's neck don't match Josh's (I guess when you're possessed, your prints change?), so he's off the hook (!).

The Lamberts then move in with Lorraine to escape their haunted house. It doesn't work, as the ghosts follow them to their new digs. The family begins hearing voices and seeing ghosts again, including a woman in white..

Specs & Tucker go through Elise's things, and find an old videotape from 1986. In it, she's questioning Young Josh. Oddly enough they notice a ghostly image of Adult Josh standing behind his younger self. They contact a man named Carl, who performs a seance to contact Elise. They get ahold of her, and she tells them Lorraine has all the answers.

They question Lorraine, who was once a doctor. She treated a patient named Parker Crane, who ended up killing himself while in the hospital. They investigate the Crane home and find a secret room full of corpses and a black wedding gown, which Crane wore when he killed his victims (kinky!). 

Meanwhile, Josh's body begins to deteriorate, and they realize the Old Woman who possessed him is really the evil spirit of Parker Crane— in drag! Possessed Josh begins choking Carl, and he wakes up in The Further. There he meets Real Josh's spirit, and the two work to escape. They're overpowered by a demon, but the ghost of Elise arrives just in time to save them, banishing the spirit from Lorraine's house.

In the real world, Josh (still possessed by Parker) chases after Renai and his kids, along with Lorraine. He traps them all in the basement and moves in to kill them. Inside The Further, Real Josh, Carl and Elise track down Parker's spirit and eventually defeat him, causing him to disappear. This saves the Lamberts in the real world as well. Dalton then enters The Further to lead everyone out. Cal hypnotizes Josh and Dalton, to suppress their memories of The Further.

Later, Specs & Tucker continue the ghostbusting business on their own. When they arrive at the home of a family who's been having trouble with spirits, a little girl answers the door. She asks, "Who's the woman behind you?" The guys turn and see no one, but the little girl sees the ghost of Elise, who tells her, "Shhh!"

Insidious: Chapter 3:
Sometime before the events of Insidious, a teen girl named Quinn Brenner visits Elise Ranier, saying she wants to contact her recently deceased mother Lillith. Elise attempts a reading, but stops when she hears a demonic voice threaten to kill her. She warns Quinn, "If you call out to one of the dead, all of them can hear you."

Sure enough, Quinn starts seeing ghosts, and is hit by car after being distracted by one. She's then confined to bed with two broken legs. After a while she's repeatedly attacked by a demonic corpse wearing a breathing mask. When the attacks worsen, her father Sean contacts Elise for help. 

Elise arrives and reluctantly enters The Further. She sees a limbless version of Quinn floating around, and realizes part of her soul is trapped inside the spirit realm. The Breathing Mask Demon then attacks Elise and very nearly kills her. She returns to the real world and refuses to enter The Further again. Elise visits her friend Carl, who's also a spiritual psychic, and he tells her she's much stronger than she thinks. 

Meanwhile, a desperate Sean contacts two "ghost bros" named Specs & Tucker. After a disastrous attempt at rescuing Quinn's spirit from The Further, Sean realizes the two men have no idea what they're doing, and he needs Elise. Fortunately she's willing to help again after Carl's pep talk.

Elise enters The Further and when the Demon attacks, she easily defeats him. Unfortunately it grabs Quinn's spirit and scuttles away with it. Elise returns to the real world, and says Quinn has to fight this battle alone. She and the others lay their hands on Quinn's real body, willing her the strength to fight the demon. 

Elise hears a voice and realizes its Lillith, Quinn's late mother. She uses the power of love or something to banish the Demon once and for all and free her daughter's spirit from The Further. Elise decides to team up with Specs & Tucker, and we realize this is their origin story.

OK, we're all caught up. On With Insidious: The Last Key:

The Plot:
The year is 1953. The place is Five Keys, New Mexico (subtle!). Young Elise Rainier lives with her family— father Gerald, mother Audrey and younger brother Christian— in a creepy old house which is inexplicably next to an even creepier prison. Elise, the hero of the Insidious franchise, has supernatural powers that allow her to see ghosts. Due to its proximity to the prison, her home is lousy with the spirits of executed convicts.

Audrey supports Elise and encourages her to develop her power. Gerald doesn't believe in ghosts though, and regularly beats Elise anytime she mentions such foolishness. One night Audrey tucks the kids into bed, and gives Christian a tin whistle. She tells him to blow it any time he's scared, and she'll come running to help (PLOT POINT!). He puts it around his neck and goes to sleep. Later that night Elise sees a ghost in their room and lets out a scream. A furious Gerald bursts in, beats her with a cane (!) and locks her in the basement until she admits there's no such thing as ghosts.

Elise explores the basement (is this the first time she's ever been in there?) and finds a locked door. A voice tells her to unlock it, and when she does, she's possessed by a demon called Key Face. Im not quite sure why he's called that, as his fingers end in old fashioned keys. Shouldn't he be "Key Hands?" Anyway, Audrey sneaks downstairs to check on Elise, but she's killed when the demon animates an electrical wire and hangs her with it. Gerald roars downstairs and finds his wife dead, just as the demon releases Elise.

Cut to Elise, now in her sixties, waking up in the "present" day of 2010. Elise (played by Lin Shaye) works as a paranormal investigator with her two young and nerdy "ghost bro" colleagues, Specs (played by screenwriter Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (played by Angus Sampson). She receives a call from a man named Ted Garza, who says he needs a ghost evicted from his home. When she asks his address, she's stunned to discover Garza lives in her childhood home in Five Keys! Coincidence, thy name is the Insidious franchise! Shaken, she tells him she can't help and hangs up.

After a while Elise realizes she's the one who freed Garza's demon in the first place. She decides to return to her old home all and rid the place of the demon once and for all. She tells Specs and Tucker this is something she has to do alone, but they insist on coming along.

They arrive at the house and Elise pauses a moment before tentatively entering. Garza greets her, and says the ghostly activity has been increasing lately. He says the incidents are concentrated in Elise's old bedroom, which he's boarded up. She enters and looks around, flooded by old memories. She looks under her bed and finds Christian's old whistle there. She also finds her father's giant key ring in one of his old uniforms (why would that still be in the house after someone else moved in?).

That night Elise explores the basement, as Specs and Tucker monitor her on their ghostbusting equipment. They see a lady ghost on their screen, standing just in front of Elise, but she can't see anything. Just then Elise is attacked by the ghost, which grabs the whistle and screams "Help her!"

This triggers a flashback in Elise, to when she was sixteen. She sees a ghostly woman run into their laundry room, and goes to investigate. When Gerald asks her what the hell's going on, she tells him she saw a ghost. He grabs his cane, but before he can beat her Elise flees the house and never looks back, leaving her brother Christian behind. Remember all this, as it'll become important later on.

The next day Elise and the guys visit a diner. She notices two teen girls, Melissa and Imogen, who seem familiar to her somehow. She begins talking with them, and realizes they're her nieces. Another coincidence! Just then her brother Christian enters, now in his fifties. He's still pissed that Elise left him alone with their monster of a father, and tells her to piss off and stay away from his daughters. Elise hands Melissa a photo of the tin whistle and tells her to show it to Christian.

That night Elise explores the house again with Tucker, while Specs monitors them in the van. Elise hears the tin whistle, which leads her down to the basement. She discovers that part of the wall is actually a door, and uses her father's keys to open it. Inside she sees a ghostly woman chained to the wall. Suddenly the woman grabs her, and Elise is stunned to see she's not a ghost after all! She turns around and sees Garza in the doorway, and realizes he's been keeping the woman captive in the secret room. He throws Tucker into the room and locks them all inside.

Specs hears what's going on and runs into the house. Garza chases him through the place, intent on killing him. Specs hides behind a heavy bookcase, and knocks it over onto Garza, smashing his head flat (!). That seemed needlessly violent!

Elise tells the police that Garza was keeping a woman in his own personal dungeon, and then pretended he saw ghosts and called her because... well, I'm not sure why. Anyway, that's the end of the movie! Goodnight, everybo... what? It's not the end? There's still an hour to go? Sigh...

Inside the police station, Elise sees a ghostly image of her niece Melissa and screams, which freaks out the detective who's been questioning her. She realizes Melissa's in danger and runs back to her house.

Meanwhile, Christian, Melissa and Imogen show up at Garza's house for some reason. I guess they're looking for Elise? They split up and explore the place. Melissa goes down to the basement and is immediately grabbed by Key Face. He sticks one of his finger keys through the skin of her throat, which instantly silences her, which I have to admit was pretty cool. He sticks another finger key into her chest, which steals her soul (I guess) and puts her into a coma.

Elise, Tucker and Specs arrive at the house and find the unconscious Melissa in the basement. A furious Christian tells Elise to stay away from his daughter, and takes her to the hospital. Imogen stays behind, and admits to Elise she has powers just like her. Elise vows to save Melissa and defeat Key Face once and for all.

Elise and Tucker return to the basement to search for a red door, so she can enter The Further (aka the spirit world) and battle Key Face. Elise finds a wadded up nightgown in a vent, and realizes it belonged to the "Help Her Ghost" from earlier in the film. The MOVIE then has its own flashback, as we see the day Elise thought she saw a ghost in the laundry room. This "ghost" was actually a real woman named Anna, and when Gerald looked into the laundry room, he pretended he saw nothing and then prepared to beat Elise for "lying." After this incident caused Elise to leave home, Gerald beat Anna to death (!).

Elise then finds a large vent, enters it and discovers it's stuffed full of large suitcases. She examines them and finds each one contains the personal effects— and the skull— of a woman held captive and killed by the men who owned the house over the years. As she opens the final suitcase, Key Face somehow leaps out of it and pulls Elise into The Further. This leaves her body unconscious in the real world.

Imogen realizes it's up to her to rescue Melissa and Elise. She enters The Further, where she's greeted by Anna's ghost. She leads Imogen to an infinite corridor, lined on each side with prison cells. Each cell contains the soul of someone abducted by Key Face. Elise wakes in a cell, and realizes that Key Face has been causing deaths inside the house for decades, so he could feed off the fear and misery of his victims.

Suddenly her dad Gerald appears, and Elise begins attacking him. She stops when she realizes this is exactly what Key Face wants, and refuses to feed him with any more hate. Key Face then starts choking her, as she croaks out a cry for help. Gerald's ghost hears her, and— apparently feeling repentant— attacks him. Key Face stabs him, causing his soul to evaporate. So... I guess ghosts can be killed then?

Key Face then stabs Melissa in the chest, causing her real body to convulse in the hospital. He then inserts his key finger into Elise's throat, robbing her of her voice so she can't call for help. Just as he's about to stab her in the heart, Imogen throws her the tin whistle. Elise catches the whistle and blows it. This summons the ghost of her mother Audrey, who appears just as promised (told you it was a Plot Point!). Audrey uses the power of love or some hooey to punch Key Face right out of the movie. Seriously!

Elise hugs her mother, and apologizes for releasing the demon that killed her. She says it's no big deal, but warns them they've all got to leave The Further. Elise, Melissa and Imogen's souls then return to the real world. Elise and Imogen's bodies wake up inside the house, while Melissa wakes up in her hospital bed as her body stops convulsing.

Elise and Imogen arrive at the hospital, where Christian finally forgives his sister. She gives him the tin whistle.

Back in her own home, Elise dreams of a boy named Dalton, who's menaced by a Lipstick Demon. She wakes up a second before her phone rings. It's Renai Lambert, who says there's something wrong with her son Dalton, and she needs help. Elise says she'll be there first thing in the morning, as this film dovetails into the beginning of the original Insidious.

Thoughts:
• There's honestly not a lot to say about this movie. It's tough to nitpick since much of it takes place in the spirit world of The Further, where things don't have to make sense.

• Overall this is a pretty mediocre film, but there were a couple of things that stood out:

First off is actress Lin Shaye, the MVP of the Insidious franchise. I like her quite a bit, and it's always great to see her onscreen.

Secondly, I loved the scene in which the inaccurately named "Key Face" sticks his key-finger through the skin of Melissa's throat, turns it and silences her voice. That was pretty damned awesome, and something I've never seen in a horror film before! Kudos to whoever thought up that bit.

That's it! That's all the good stuff I got! On with the bitching!

• In this movie and the previous one, Elise has a dog named "Warren." Is... is that a little in-joke? I'm betting it's a reference to famed paranormal investigators Ed & Lorraine Warren, the heroes of The Conjuring films (which, like the first two Insidious films, were directed by James Wan).

• The poster for Insidious: The Last Key looks a LOT like the one for the 1985 movie House. Homage, blatant ripoff or unfortunate coincidence?

• As is frustratingly typical these days, the trailer for Insidious: The Last Key features several scenes that aren't in the final film.

For example, in the trailer Elise enters The Further, which manifests itself as a vast prison that stretches off into infinity.

Suddenly the prison doors squeak open (I guess this jail doesn't lock up its inmates?) and a host of creepy looking spirits emerge.

Including this freaky-as-hell one, which hisses, "Thisss way" to Elise.

Note that NONE of these ghosts are in the actual film. Not a single one. I don't get it. They looked truly unsettling and disturbing, and would have been a welcome addition to this virtually scare-free film. Why take 'em out?

• Speaking of the corridor scene, I couldn't help but notice there's something seriously wrong with it visually. Obviously Lin Shaye's standing in front of a greenscreen here and staring at nothing, as the corridor was added in later. To my eyes it looks like the perspective is way off— like the hallway is slanting up at the end.

In art school we were taught that when working with perspective, the horizon line is always level with the eye line of the viewer. Since our point of view is pretty much even with Elise's, the horizon should be level with her eyes. As you can see by the red line I added, it clearly isn't. The vanishing point is MUCH too high. It makes Elise look like she's about four feet tall.

I fired up Photoshop and took the liberty of adjusting the vanishing point and horizon line so it's level with her eye line. See? Doesn't that look a lot better, and much more realistic? You're welcome, Blumhouse!

Insidious: The Last Key is a scare-free, by-the-numbers installment of a franchise that's definitely run its course. It's elevated quite a bit though by the presence of the always wonderful Lin Shaye, who gives her character of Elise Ranier a sense of both toughness and vulnerability. Unfortunately not even her presence can save this yawnfest. I give it a C+.

It Came From The Cineplex: Ouija: Origin Of Evil

At long last, I'm reviewing the #1 supernatural movie that everyone in the country's talking about! Doctor Stra Ouija: Origin Of Evil.

(insert falling slide whistle tone here)

Ouija: Origin Of Evil was written by Jeff Howard and Mike Flanagan, and directed by Mike Flanagan.

Howard previously wrote Oculus and Before I Wake, neither of which I've seen or heard of. Flanagan previously wrote and directed Ghosts Of Hamilton Street and Absentia, which I've also never seen or heard of.

The film is a prequel to 2014's Ouija, which, believe it or not, wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. Amazingly the first film grossed an astonishing $103 million worldwide against its meager $5 million budget. With numbers like that, a second film was inevitable. So far Ouija: Origin Of Evil isn't pulling in quite the same numbers, grossing around $65 million so far, against its $9 million budget. Movies generally need to make around twice their production cost before they show a profit, so this one's still a modest hit. Look for Ouija 3: Back To The Board sometime in 2018.

Ouija: Origin Of Evil is yet another entry in Hasbro's "Let's Turn All Our Toys And Games Into Movies" series, the previous examples being Transformers, G.I. Joe and Battleship.

I actually remembered quite a bit about the first film, which is rare these days— usually these PG-13 horror films all run together, and being fading from my mind on the way out of the cineplex. From what I can tell, this prequel lines up nicely with the original movie. Like its predecessor, Ouija: Origin Of Evil isn't the least bit scary, but it's better than the original and is a fairly well written, slow burn little horror film.

Believe it or not, Michael Bay is one of the producers of this film. Yep, that Michael Bay. The person responsible for the Transformers "movies." Fortunately for the audience, he had nothing to do with the directing chores on this film, so it's actually comprehensible.

It took a whopping FIVE production companies to bring this movie to the screen: Allspark Productions, Blumhouse Productions, Hasbro Studios, Platinum Dunes and Intrepid Pictures. I have no idea why so many companies got into the act, as it's a small and very inexpensive film. 

SPOILERS FOR A PREQUEL TO A MOVIE YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY SEEN THAT'S BASED ON A BOARD GAME!

The Plot:

In 1967, Alice Zander works as a fortune teller, holding fake seances in her parlor. Her daughters Lina and Doris help out with the show, opening doors and posing as ghostly apparitions. When Doris asks why they're lying to their customers, Alice says that her fake psychic readings give closure to people, and help them move on with their lives. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Alice!

That night Lina sneaks out of the house and goes to a party. One of her friends has a brand new Ouija Board, and suggests they play. Before playing, they read the rules of the game: 1. Never play alone, 2. Never play in a graveyard and 3. Always say goodbye to the spirit. 

Even though Lina knows the whole thing's a bunch of hooey, she marvels at how it scares a particularly nervous girl at the party. Just then the hostess' mom comes home early, and busts up the party. An angry Alice comes to pick up Lina. She tells her daughter she needs her to shape up, as it's difficult to run the household by herself since her husband Roger was killed.

The next day Lina suggests that Alice incorporate a Ouija Board in her act. Alice thinks it's a good idea and buys one. She paints the planchette with metallic paint, so she can manipulate it from under the table with magnets. That night, Doris uses the board alone (violating the first rule), and inadvertently contacts a spirit. Alice wakes up and finds Doris playing with the Board, and is shocked to see the planchette moving around by itself. Doris violates yet another rule by not properly saying goodbye to the spirit.

Father Tom (played by Henry Thomas, of E.T. fame!) the principal of the Zander girls' Catholic school, calls Alice in to talk. Father Tom notes that Doris has started turning in homework in cursive, despite the fact she hasn't been taught how to write it. Back at home, Alice accuses Lina of doing Doris' homework for her, but she denies having anything to do with it. When pressed, Doris says her new "friend" wrote her homework.

Meanwhile, the bank is foreclosing on the Zander home, leaving Alice wondering where they're going to live. Doris uses the Board again, believing she's communicating with her dead father Roger. The spirit sends her a message, and she goes down into the basement and removes a stone from the wall behind the furnace. She reaches in and pulls out a moldy bag. As Alice frets about the mortgage, Doris presents her with the bag, which is filled with thousands of dollars! When Alice asks where she got it, she says her father "gave" it to her.

Alice decides to test Doris' claims, so the three of them sit down with the Board. Alice is stunned when the planchette moves around on its own. She asks a question that only Roger would know, and the board answers correctly. This convinces Alice that they've contacted Roger, but Lina's not so sure. Alice begins keeping Doris home from school so they can channel spirits through the Ouija Board, giving their customers actual, legitimate psychic readings. After a while, Doris starts answering questions in various peoples' voices, indicating the spirits are now speaking through her.

Doris starts feeling ill, and gets a sharp pain in her neck. For some reason she looks through the clear window in the Ouija Board planchette, and sees a dark, demonic figure standing in the middle of the room. It grabs her and possesses her. The next day Lina sees Doris furiously filling sheets of paper with writing, while not even looking at them. She examines the papers, and believes they're written in Polish. This strikes her as odd, since needless to say, Doris doesn't speak or write it. Lina takes the papers to Father Tom to see if he can translate them.

A few days later Father Tom shows up at the Zander home, saying he'd like Doris to give him a reading. He asks if she can contact his late wife Gloria (yep, that's right— this priest is a widower!). Doris channels Gloria, who says she forgives him for their last fight or something. Afterwards, Father Tom asks to speak with Alice and Lina upstairs.

Meanwhile, Lina's boyfriend Mikey comes to call. Doris invites him in and gets him to follow her to the basement, where she kills him by hanging him from a noose (!). 

Upstairs, Father Tom tells Alice and Lina that Doris didn't contact Gloria. During the seance he thought of "wrong" answers to his questions, and Doris apparently read his mind. 

Additionally, Father Tom says he had Doris' papers translated, and they were apparently "written" by a Polish man who was killed by the former owner of the Zander house— an ex-Nazi doctor (naturally). This doctor liked to while away the hours by abducting people and experimenting on them in a secret room in the basement. When he was finished with "patients," he bricked up the room and left them to die inside. Father Tom suspects Doris is being possessed by the spirit of one of these patients, and suggests an exorcism.

Alice, Lina and Father Tom come back downstairs. Suddenly Mikey's body drops from a noose, startling them (never mind how even a possessed little girl hauled his body up out of the basement). The three enter the basement, looking for Doris. Lina tosses the Ouija Board into the furnace and burns it. Behind the furnace, Father Tom finds the hole in the wall where the money was hidden. He looks through the hole and discovers a room behind the wall that's full of the skeletons of the Nazi doctor's experiments. They realize this means they just violated the last of the Ouija Board rules— the one about not playing in a graveyard.

They hear the sound of Doris crying, along with an old phonograph playing a German song, coming from the other side of the wall. Father Tom crawls through the duct work to find the Nazi doctor's secret room. He sees Doris there, and she floats toward him and whispers in his ear. Father Tom, now possessed by an angry spirit, returns to the basement and tries to kill Alice and Lina with a knife. They run upstairs, and Father Tom regains control long enough for them to get away. An angry and possessed Doris flings him across the room, breaking his neck.

Upstairs, Alice and Lina find the Ouija Board— that they just burned— intact on the table. Doris appears and possesses Lina. Alice pleads with the spirits to release her daughters and take her instead. She's immediately pulled into the basement by an unseen force. Lina wakes upstairs on her bed, and sees a vision of her father Roger. He's holding a doll he gave her, whose mouth has been sewn shut. She realizes what she has to do. She goes to the secret room in the basement, where Doris has chained Alice to a slab. Lina grabs Doris and chains her to the wall. She then begins violently sewing up Doris' mouth, as demons claw at her. The instant that Doris' mouth is completely sewn up, the demons disappear. Doris then dies from her injuries. Alice manages to free herself from the slab. Lina is momentarily possessed and stabs her mother. As Alice's life slips away, she sees a vision of Roger and Doris together, welcoming her. Lina regains control and is horrified by what she's done.

Several months later, Lina's now in a mental hospital. Her doctor asks her if she knows what happened to her family, but she's incoherent and distracted. Later in her room, she cuts her hand and uses her own blood to draw a makeshift Ouija Board under her carpet. She uses the Board alone (uh-oh!), and tries to summon her sister Doris. 

In a post credit scene, we see Lina (now played by the always excellent Lin Shaye), still living in the asylum in the present day. A nurse tells her she has a visit from someone claiming to be her niece, which ties in directly to the original film.

Thoughts:

• I never had a Ouija Board as a kid. Do they really come with a card detailing the three rules, like the one in this movie?

The rules are obviously designed to scare you and add to the atmosphere of the "game." In reality the first rule— "Never play alone"— is purely practical. The planchette obviously can't move by itself, and of course is guided by one of the players. Naturally everyone swears they're not the one sliding it around. If you play by yourself, then the planchette's just going to sit there motionless. Hence Rule #1.

The second rule— "Never play in a graveyard"— always makes me laugh. Does that really need to be said? Who the hell would ever drag four friends and a Ouija Board out to a cemetery?

• The best part of the film for me was the late 1960s setting. Even better, the producers didn't just set the film in that time period, they did their best to make Ouija: Origin Of Evil look like it was made in the 60s as well!

The picture even begins with the old school Universal Pictures logo, that was in use from 1963 all the way up to 1990. Cool!

They also used a simple, old school title screen superimposed over the action. These types of title screens were often used in 1960s and 1970s movies.

They also stuck several simulated "cigarette burns" into the movie! Amazing!

See, back in the old days (up until maybe fifteen years ago), movies were spooled onto multiple reels. Each reel could hold about ten minutes of film. There were two film projectors in the booth at the back of the theater, and the projectionist would load up Reel 1 and play it. He'd then get Reel 2 ready to go on the second projector. 

The projectionist would watch the upper right hand corner of the screen, waiting for a small circle to flash on the screen for a couple of frames. The circle, nicknamed a "cigarette burn," was the signal that the reel was about to end, and it was time to switch from Reel 1 to 2. A good projectionist could do this seamlessly so the audience never noticed the hand off.

Most audiences never even noticed the cigarette burns, as the circles appeared for just a fraction of a second on the screen. The producers of Ouija: Origin Of Evil took the time to simulate these circles, making it feel like a movie projected from actual film. Now that's attention to detail!

I also noticed a couple of deep focus "split diopter" shots in the film as well.

What the hell's a split diopter, you ask? It's a special lens that's divided down the middle, allowing the camera to focus on things in the extreme background and foreground at the same time. The disadvantage of the split diopter lens is that there's usually a blurry line in the middle of the screen (where the transition between far and near occurs). As a result of this, the director will try to hide the seam in a vertical object (like the pillar in the All The President's Men pic above). Another disadvantage to the diopter lens is it can only be used in a static shot.

You don't see split diopter shots much anymore for some reason, but 1970s films were lousy with 'em. I don't know if the scenes in Ouija: Origin Of Evil were shot with an actual split lens, or if they were optically stitched together with a computer. If I had to guess, I'd say the latter.

• The Ouija Board box seen in the movie was the type used in the 1960s, and correct for the period. Well done, prop guys!

• Henry Thomas plays Father, er, Thomas in the film. I have to admit I didn't recognize him until I saw his name in the credits.

Oddly enough, Father Tom is a widower who's become a Catholic priest. I'm not a Catholic, and I freely admit I know little or nothing about the religion. Is such a thing really possible?

Turns out that yes, it's possible, but highly unlikely. It depends a lot on the age of the man in question, and on his diocese. A widowed man could even become a priest if he has children, provided they're self-sufficient adults. And that's one to grow on!

• When Father Tom first approaches the Zander home, there's a very blatant homage to The Exorcist. There's no fog and it's daytime in the Ouija shot, but the composiiton and pose are nearly identical. There's no way it wasn't intentional.

• In the third act, Lina kills her family in order to save them, and even though she didn't murder Father Tom, she was no doubt blamed for his death as well. At the end of the movie we see she's been confined to a mental institution.

So often in horror movies a character will kill multiple people, including the main villain, and then walk off the screen completely scott-free. It was nice to see a film that featured some actual consequences to the character's actions. Well, maybe not nice, but you know what I mean. 

• In a post credits scene, we see Lina slowly morph into an old woman (still living in the asylum), now played by horror movie icon Lynn Shaye. A nurse tells her someone claiming to be her niece has come to visit. This lines up nicely with the first movie.

The timeline works out as well. This movie takes place in 1967, when Lina is most likely sixteen. If the final scene takes place in 2014, when the original movie came out, that would make Old Lina sixty three.

This ending really should have come right before the credits rolled. It's an important scene that bridges the two films, but I doubt more than one percent of the audience sat through the credits and actually saw it.

I can't believe I'm saying this about a movie based on a board game, but Ouija: Origin Of Evil is a solid, well-made little horror film. It's not the least bit scary, but it has a slow-burn moodiness that was typical of horror films in the 60s and 70s. The producers also bent over backwards to make it seem like a film of that era, which I appreciated. It's also the rare prequel that's better than the original. Believe it or not, I give it a B.