Friday, December 23, 2016

Useless Xmas Gift Of The Week: Darth Vader Oven Glove

Hey, if you hurry, there's probably still time to order this Official Darth Vader "Oven Glove" for that special Star Wars fan in your life! 

What film buff wouldn't want to wear the glove of everyone's favorite Sith Lord when they're pulling a tray of molten hot pizza rolls out of the oven, to much on while watching A New Hope for the eighty ninth time?

The problem I see with the Official Darth Vader "Oven Glove" is it doesn't look all that Vaderish to me. Sure, it's a black rubber glove, and it's got some stripes on the top, and I think that's a tiny Imperial Logo next to the hanger hole. But what's the average person going to think when they see you wearing it? Will they say, "Hey, cool! You've got an Official Darth Vader "Oven Glove!" Or are they more likely to say, "Why are you wearing a plain black rubber glove while acting like you're trying to choke me from a distance?" I know which one I think is more likely.

I have a feeling I know how the Official Darth Vader "Oven Glove" came to be. Someone discovered a ton of old black rubber gloves in their warehouse, and the following conversation took place:

Worker: "Hey Boss, I just found a ton of these old rubber gloves in the back of the warehouse.

Boss (in a tick, Chi-CAH-goe accent): "Ah geez, dose tings have been in dere forever. We gotta get rid o' dem prahnto!"

Worker: "How we gonna do that, boss?"

Boss: "I got an' idea. The kids dese dayss love dat Stahr Warss and th' Dart Vayder. Let's tell everone da gloves is Dart Vayder's! Dey'll sell like haht cakes!"

Worker: "You're a genius, Boss!"

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