Monday, December 31, 2018

Good Riddance, 2018!

2018. What a shockingly miserable dumpster fire of a year.

Yes, yes, I know, people have been saying the same thing about every year since we invented calendars. But it seems like 2018 has been exceptionally lousy and wretched. Not only did the world at large spiral further down the crapper, but there were many unwelcome changes and events in my own life as well. I will not be sorry to see its ass end as it finally heads out the door.

Unfortunately I have a very bad feeling that 2018 was just a rehearsal, and 2019's going to be even worse.

Here's just a few of the terrible, horrible no-good, very bad things highlights of 2018:

A ramping up of fatal shootings in schools, malls and public gathering places. 2018 saw them happen on almost a daily basis, to the point where they were no longer considered front page news, and were relegated to the back of the newspaper.

Teens decided it would be a good idea to start eating Tide Pods on a dare.

Toys R Us closed all its stores in the U.S. Not only did this limit the number of retail options for consumers, it had a negative impact on many toy companies, who no longer have as many outlets for their products.

Half (or more) of Hollywood was accused of sexual assault.

The president called Haiti a "shithole." He also thew a series of tantrums and shut down the federal government on three separate occasions.

White people decide blacks shouldn't exist, and started calling the police on them simply for existing.

Since all our other problems have apparently been solved, the country became obsessed with sports figures who kneel during the National Anthem.

Our planet was plagued by more earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, floods and fires than I can list, each of which resulted in numerous deaths and billions in damage.

Slender Man, The Happytime Murders, The Predator and Holmes And Watson were all released to theaters.

Worst of all, Stan Lee died.

Considering all that, 2018 can go f*ck itself as far as I'm concerned.

I know it's a futile gesture, but let's all hope 2019 is at least a slight improvement, so I can stop praying nightly to the god I don't believe in to lob a comet into this sorry planet. It can't be any worse, can it? Please say it can't.


  1. It was a rough year so here is to a much better 2019! We have to turn the corner and head uphill sooner or later.


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