One Banana, Two Banana, Three Banana, NO!

Hard to believe, but this week there's actually news on The Banana Splits front!

For those of you too young to remember (which is likely ALL of you), The Banana Splits Adventure Hour was a Saturday morning kids' show, featuring the live-action antics of four costumed funny animals: Fleegle, a large beagle, Bingo, and orange gorilla, Drooper, a slow-talking lion and Snorky, an elephant. 

The four characters played musical instruments, starred in comedic sketches and introduced cartoon segments on the show. Although the show was produced by Hanna-Barbera, the character suits were designed by Sid & Marty Krofft, who went on to produce many of their own shows, including H.R. Pufnstuff, Lidsville and Land Of The Lost.

Although largely forgotten today, The Banana Splits were HUGE when I was a kid. There were tons of Banana Splits merch, including puppets, lunchboxes, clothing, model kits, books and comics. You name it, their images were slapped onto it. The Banana Splits were a major part of my childhood, and I have fond memories of watching the show.

Which is why I was somewhat dismayed this week when I saw a trailer for this:

Yep, that's right. Warner Bros. is producing a The Banana Splits Movie.

This isn't your grandpa's Banana Splits though, laws no. This ill-advised version of the property an R-rated horror film! Let that sink in for a minute, eh?

According to the official synopsis, a young boy named Harley and his family attend a taping of The Banana Splits TV show for his birthday. Things take an unexpected turn though when the animatronic Banana Splits characters (?) begin running amok, killing everyone they see (!). Harley and his family then have to escape the studio before they're murdered by the now deadly funny animals.

So basically Warner Bros. just straight up made a Five Nights At Freddy's movie. And they're not even being subtle about it! The plot is EXACTLY the same!

The main question here is... why? Why the hell would Warner Bros. make an ersatz copy of Five Nights At Freddy's, instead of just filming the real thing? There are two reasons I can think of:

1. There's already a Five Nights At Freddy's movie in production at a rival studio, and Warner Bros. beat them to the punch with a clone to cash in on the craze.

2. Warner Bros. desperately wanted to make a Five Nights At Freddy's movie, but the creator of the game wanted too much money for the film rights. Warner looked through their properties, saw they owned The Banana Splits and simply plugged them into their horror script.

Of these theories, I'm gonna guess #2 is the one that likely happened.

Despite the fact I loved The Banana Splits as a kid, I moved on decades ago and haven't thought about them in years. That said, I have to admit a small part of me's a bit dismayed to see the characters treated like this.

If you've seen the trailer for the upcoming movie, you probably noticed how bad the Banana Splits costumes look. Get a load of those sad, moth-eaten suits! I've seen far better production values in SNL sketches! The costumes don't even fit properly. Did they intentionally make them look bad on purpose as part of some plot point?

In fact the whole film looks like a cheap TV movie. Which is exactly what it is. When I first heard about the project, I assumed it was going to be a theatrical film. Nope! It's a direct to video film, that's also going to air on the Siffy Channel. Good! That way no one will ever see it, and the Splits' image won't be tarnished.