M-O-O-N, That Spells "I'm Cautiously Optimistic"

For the past five years now, I've been occasionally blogging about the Hollywood film adaptation of The Stand, based on the Stephen King book of the same name.

You can read those previous posts here, if you've a mind to:
M-O-O-N, That Spells "I've Got A Bad Feeling About This"
M-O-O-N, That Spells, "I Have A Slightly Better Feeling About This"
M-O-O-N, That Spells "Oh For Cryin' Out Loud!"
M-O-O-N, That Spells "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off!"

See, The Stand is my all time favorite book, and I've probably read it twenty or thirty times over the years. So naturally I have a vested interest in a new film adaptation, and want the producers to do justice to the story.

Unfortunately, each update on the production has been more appalling than the last. First is the fact that it's being written and directed by Josh Boone. Who better to helm a post apocalyptic epic than the director of the teen cancer tearjerker The Fault In Our Stars? Oy.

Then in 2014 there was the news that Boone wanted to cram the entire story into one measly three hour movie. Jesus wept. The Stand is a massive book with a huge cast of characters—  at least 28 by my count. I can guarantee they're not all going to make the cut in a three hour film. The 1994 ABC miniseries was six hours long. Even at that length they had to drop certain characters and combine others, as well as eliminate entire subplots. There's no way in hell a two or even three hour version can do justice to the book. 

A few months later Boone changed his mind, saying he now wanted to split the story into four theatrical films (huzzah!). He also said he wanted these films to be more "grounded" than the novel (boooo!). Yes, because when you're dealing with a supernatural story about good vs. evil, it should be as pedestrian as possible.

A year later (in 2015) Boone changed his mind yet again, saying he now planned on turning The Stand into an eight part miniseries on Showtime. OK, not quite the same as a theatrical release, but the story would definitely benefit from the extra time. But then he destroyed any goodwill the previous announcement may have generated by saying he'd conclude the story in a theatrical film. Son of a bitch! Who the hell's going to go to the cineplex to see the end of a goddamned TV show?

Then in 2016 Boone announced the whole project was "temporarily on hold." Meaning the studio got tired of waiting on his ass, and canceled the movie.

But wait! Apparently the project's back on! It's now reportedly going to be a ten episode miniseries on CBS: All Access, the fine folks who've brought us two miserable seasons of Star Trek: Discovery, aka STD. Um... hooray, I guess?

This week CBS announced they've actually started casting the series, which I guess makes it official. Here's a list of the six characters they've cast so far (there're at least twenty more to go, if they're including everyone from the book!):

First up is James Marsden as main character Stu Redman. Stu was played in the '94 miniseries by Gary Sinise, and he was just about perfect casting. Marsden's got his work cut out for him if he's gonna top Sinise. 

Marsden seems a little too "pretty boy" for the plain, average-looking Stu, but I think he may be able to pull it off.

Next is Odessa Young as Fran Goldsmith, the story's female protagonist. I've never heard of Ms. Young, so I'm not familiar with her work at all. 

Molly Ringwald played the character in the original miniseries, and to be honest I never believed her as Fran for even a second. At least Young looks the part, so I'm sure she'll do just fine.

Whoopi Goldberg's reportedly been cast as Mother Abigail, the 108 year old woman who serves as a conduit for God, drawing all the "good" characters to her side.

Eh... I guess she'll do. Ruby Dee was absolutely spot on as Mother Abigail in the miniseries, so it'll be hard to top her. With the proper makeup, I think Goldberg can probably do a decent job.

The most worrisome bit of casting is Greg Kinnear as Glen Bateman. In the novel, Bateman's a retired college professor who's bald and suffers from arthritis. Not really seeing any of that in Kinnear, who's currently just fifty six. Yes, they'll probably age him up a bit, but he's the last actor I'd have picked to play a bald, paunchy old man.

Glen was played by actor Ray Walston in the miniseries, and he did a pretty good job. Again, Kinnear's gonna have a tough row to hoe to beat Walston.

Amber Heard's been cast as the doomed Nadine Cross. Eh. I was never really sold on Laura San Giacomo as Nadine in the miniseries, so as long as Heard can convincingly play a woman who's struggling with her destiny, she'll be fine.

Lastly we have Henry Zaga as the deaf-mute Nick Andros. Again, never heard of him; no idea who he is or what he's been in. Nick was played in the miniseries by Rob Lowe. Zaga has the right look, but can he actually emote? Nick's a completely silent character, so he has to convey everything he's feeling without saying a word. Hopefully Zaga's up to that challenge.

So there you have it. I'm still not convinced this new adaptation won't be an absolute shit-show, but after seeing some of the casting choices I'm cautiously optimistic.