Saturday, October 30, 2021

Hall Of Abominations

Hey, remember DisneyWorld's Hall Of Presidents? You know, the attraction everyone visits just to get a few precious minutes of relief from the ridiculous Florida heat & humidity? 

I don't know what's going on there lately, but it looks like Disney's "Imagineers" have definitely lost their touch.

As proof, I present their trump robot. Or at least I think it's supposed to be trump. It looks like someone stuffed trump and Hillary into one of Jeff Goldblum's teleportation pods, flipped the switch and this unholy abomination is what issued forth from the smoke and steam.

Curiously, they seem to have absolutely nailed his artificial polyester blend hair, so I guess that's something.

The current Prez doesn't fare any better. This is allegedly the Joe Biden robot, though it looks more like Johnny Carson wearing Clint Eastwood prosthetics. And check out those black, soulless eyes! Whenever I look at them, all I hear is Quint saying, "Y'know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes."

So what the hell happened to the Hall Or Presidents? The other robots don't look nearly as bad as these two horror shows. The Lincoln one for example looks amazing and spot on. Did all the good robot sculptors die off, so they hired some new subpar ones off of Craigslist?

Maybe it's tougher to make a robot that looks like someone we've all familiar with. After all, we've all seen trump & Biden on the news a million times. We know exactly what they look like, so maybe that makes it harder to come up with a good likeness.

Who knows, maybe the Lincoln droid is just as bad, and doesn't resemble him in the slightest either. Sure, we've all seen photos of him, but no one alive today ever saw him in person. So we have no idea just how far off his robot actually is. It could be just as big a nightmare as trump & Biden!

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