Some Legacy!

For reasons I'm not gonna go into here, my career as a graphic designer is over. 

As I look back over my thirty five years in the advertising business, I've come to the unpleasant realization that I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Nothing I can point to and say, "I did that!" Nothing to prove I was ever even here!

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. By its very nature, advertising is temporary and ephemeral. Newspaper ads last a day, flyers a week and billboards a month. Such work was never meant to be permanent.

It became even worse when I made the switch to online advertising. Technically it doesn't exist at all, as it's just a series of ones and zeroes in the ether! Other than a few printouts I kept, there's no record I ever did any such projects at all!

Pretty depressing to think that all that hard work is gone forever.

Or is it?

Back in the mid 1990s I was working for Williams/Randall Marketing in Terre Haute, Indiana. That was the home of the "colorful boss" I posted about years ago.

Sometime around 1996 he assigned me to design a logo for Win Energy, some sort of power company or co-op in Southern Indiana.

Win Energy is located just south of Vincennes, Indiana, along Highway 41. Recently I was driving along the highway and spotted my logo! Amazingly, it's STILL there nearly THIRTY YEARS after I designed it!

That's an absolute eternity in the world of advertising and marketing. In fact it may be the only thing I've ever designed that actually still exists!

Unfortunately, the one example of my work that still survives isn't without its problems. For one thing, the text inside the red ring is wildly off-center! No idea how that happened, or why 1996 Bob let that happen. Surely I knew how to properly center elements back then? 

I'm kind of wondering if something happened to it in the past thirty years? Like maybe someone at Win Energy accidentally messed with it? We'll never know.

That text isn't an italic font either-- it's a normal one that's been slanted with the skew tool. It'd take too long to explain why here, but that's a big no-no in the world of design. I also distorted the left leg of the "W" to line up with the bottom of "Energy" as well. No idea why I did that back then, as it's something I'd never do now. 

Despite the logo's many shortcomings, it's probably the only piece of work I've ever done that still exists. 

Wow, what a legacy!

Fartnight

Was in Target recently, and saw this exclusive Taylor Swift book for sale there. 

Is it just me, or does it look like Taylor's proudly farting into her microphone on the cover? Yes. Yes it does.

I have a feeling she could release an entire album of nothing but her grunting and farting, and it'd still sell a couple million copies.

Buck Buck Goose

I've been seeing this billboard around my hometown for a couple months now. It features a giddy kid squealing with delight at he watches the circus.

As billboards go, it's not a bad design. It's simple and direct, and helpfully includes the date and a website address for more info. 

Unfortunately there's one BIG problem with it (as you likely knew there would be, since you're reading this on my blog).

That's supposed to be confetti raining down on the kid in the ad. Trouble is, the photographer snapped the pic right as a big white clump of it fell in front of the child's open mouth. This had the unintended effect of making him look like he's got a giant cartoonish buck tooth.

Jesus wept.

How the hell did this billboard get printed like this in the first place? As I've mentioned before ad infinitum, whenever I design a project at work it has to be sent to a couple dozen people, all of whom have to approve it before it goes to the printer. I assume it's the same at the agency that designed this billboard. So how did NO ONE there see the problem with it?

This would have been such an easy fix with Photoshop. In fact I took the liberty of editing it here, which took me all of five whole minutes. It ain't rocket science, guys! All you had to do was use the clone tool to erase the offending hunk of confetti and give the kid a normal set of teeth!

Sometimes I wonder if current designers even know how to use Photoshop, or are aware of all its many features. Heck, the latest version even has AI tools, which could probably have removed the confetti automatically!

Do I have to design everything myself in this town?

Happy Festivus 2024!

It's Festivus!

During this hectic time of the year, I hope you'll all pause for a moment and think about the true reason for the season. Festivus is a time for quiet contemplation and reflection as you gaze in awe at the bare aluminum pole in the living room, free of distracting tinsel.

It's also for sharing a nice meatloaf with friends and family and telling them how much they've disappointed you over the past year during the Airing of Grievances. And it's about wrestling the head of the household and pinning them down during the Feats Of Strength. It's about togetherness and sharing a nice meatloaf with friends and family. But most of all it's about togetherness.

Happy Festivus, everyone! Hope you have a true Festivus Miracle this year!

What's That Supposed To Mean?

Went to my local grocery store today and saw this pack of six Hanukkah car... hey, wait a minute! What's with that anti Semitic "Great Value" crack? I think if I was Jewish I'd be offended right now!

Time's Running Out!

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode The High Ground, the Enterprise-D crew gets involved with space terrorists who threaten to kill Doctor Crusher unless their demands are met.

Captain Picard denounces the terrorists' actions, which confuses Data. He states that according to his research, terrorism can be an effective tool to initiate change:

Data: "Sir, I am finding it difficult to understand many aspects of Ansata conduct. Much of their behavioral norm would be defined by my program as unnecessary and unacceptable."
Picard: "By my program as well, Data."
Data: "But if that is so, Captain, why are their methods so often successful? I have been reviewing the history of armed rebellion and it appears that terrorism is an effective way to promote political change.
Picard: "Yes, it can be, but I have never subscribed to the theory that political power flows from the barrel of a gun."
Data: "Yet there are numerous examples where it was successful. The independence of the Mexican State from Spain, the Irish Unification of 2024, and the Kensey Rebellion."
Picard: "Yes, I am aware of them."
Data: "Then would it be accurate to say that terrorism is acceptable when all options for peaceful settlement have been foreclosed?"
Picard: "Data, these are questions that mankind has been struggling with throughout history. Your confusion is only human."

Wow. OK, first of all, I can see why this episode was banned or heavily censored in the UK for decades. It's pretty much an endorsement of terrorism, which probably wouldn't have gone over well in Ireland. It was also counter to TNG's typical peacenik "Let's All Get Along" philosophy.

The bigger issue though is that according to TNG the Irish Unification is scheduled to happen this year! Jaysis! Let's get with it, people of Ireland! As of this post, you've got just NINE short days to unify yourselves, unless you want to make a liar out of Data!

Between this and the Bell Riots that didn't happen this past August, 2024 was not a good year for Star Trek predictions!

Where's President Whitmore When We Need Him?

By far the most unrealistic part of Independence Day isn't its story of extraterrestrial invasion, miles-wide attack ships or even David Levinson's ability to plant a computer virus into an alien operating system. 

No, the most unbelievable part of that film is its depiction of an American president who's a competent, capable, effective and uniting leader.

We could really use President Whitmore right about now...

Everything Old Is New Again

Saw these shirts over at Target today, which I assume are part of their new winter line.

Thing is, I have these EXACT same two shirts in my closet right now. In fact they've been in there since... 2000? 2005 maybe?

Just goes to show that if you hang onto your old clothes long enough, they'll eventually come back in style!