Dark Helmet Approves!

If you're like me, you work in a noisy office full of women that sounds not unlike the set of The View. The din from my coworkers often makes it hard to concentrate on my own work.

Introducing the Tomako, the world's first portable, noise-filtering privacy helmet for office use. With the Tomako, you'll be immersed in a wonderful, noiseless world where you'll actually be able to hear your own thoughts for once, without being interrupted by non-stop recaps of The Voice or The Bachelor or whatever excuses they have for TV shows these days.

Best of all, with its sleek design and practical functionality, you won't look like the office weirdo and be silently judged by your peers when you wear it! Available wherever fine hipster products are sold.

Somewhere in the galaxy, Dark Helmet gazes at the Tomako with envious eyes...

Overheard At Work: Pickles

I work in a typical office, surrounded by many other workers in cubicles. Although I'm grateful to have a job I like, sometimes the vocal din from the surrounding coworkers is a bit overwhelming. Not to mention odd. Thank the gods old and new for headphones and Pandora.

The following is a 100% true actual conversation I Overheard At Work:

Woman: I like pickles with my sandwich. But only cold pickles. I won't eat a warm pickle. I can't. I WON'T!

Well, at least she's passionate about something, even if it is just pickled cucumber slices.

Bert Hornmeyer

Bert stared into the mirror for the ninth time that morning, staring intently at it. "Maybe I could wear a hat," he thought. "Nah, that's against the dress policy. Besides, everyone would think I got a bad haircut and want to see it."

"Makeup?" he said to his reflection. "A little dab of Muriel's foundation and nobody in the office would ever notice a thing. Ahh, who am I kidding? That loudmouth shiksa Shirley Abernathy sits right by the entrance and never misses anything."

Bert sighed heavily. "C'mon man, think! I'm late already! What if like normal I walked in, like nothing's different? No one will notice maybe?" He grabbed his coat and briefcase and headed out the door to catch the subway, though deep down he knew this was going to be a long day.

Here's the original pen and ink sketch I did of Bert. So why didn't I draw his whole body? Laziness maybe. More likely I just ran out of room on the paper.

Here's the digital sketch I drew of him. Note that here, as in the final illustration, his horn is longer than in the first sketch. I figured if you're gonna draw a guy with a horn, why hold back?