Legends Of Tomorrow Season 3, Episode 12: The Curse Of The Earth Totem

So far this season, Legends Of Tomorrow has been giving us its own peculiar spin on various classic films, such as E.T. The Extraterrestrial, Apocalypse Now and Groundhog Day. This week they turn their attention toward the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise! Thankfully, Johnny Depp doesn't show up.

The big news this week is that Rip Hunter returns to the series after a long absence, with mixed results. As much as I like actor Arthur Darvill, I think it's high time to retire the character of Rip. He was always the least interesting and useful character on the show back when he was a regular, and it's just as true now that he's an occasional guest star.

Besides, his character's become redundant now that Agent Sharpe's been introduced. She performs the exact same function that Rip did in his heyday, but is way more interesting and well rounded.

I know you're all tired of hearing me say it, but this second half of the season has suffered greatly from the absence of Professor Stein, and to a lesser extent, Jackson. That's why I'm looking forward to seeing Wally West, aka Kid Flash, join the team. I'm hoping he can inject some much needed energy into the group.

Wally's treatment over on The Flash bordered on the criminal, as the writers there never had a clue as to what to do with him. He became little more than a piece of set decoration, often relegated to standing silently in the background. I honestly wondered why they bothered to add him to the show at all. Hopefully his character will receive better treatment on Legends Of Tomorrow.

Heck, after just one episode Wally's already more interesting than he ever was on The Flash. Actor Keiynan Lonsdale seems to be having a great time here, trying out his comedic chops as he plays "drunk" and sings karaoke. I'm taking that as a good sign.

This episode begins setting up Vixen's eventual season-end departure, as she laments the fact that due to her destiny, she and Steel can never be together. Hmm... the show's really been playing up their relationship the past few weeks. I wonder... are they just doing that so her goodbye will be all the more heart-wrenching? Or are they setting up Steel to leave the ship as well, and go to Zambesi with her?

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
The Bahamas, 1717. Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard orders his crew to bury his treasure on an island. Before they leave, he gifts his lover Anne Queen with a gigantic emerald amulet. Unknown to him, it turns out to be the Earth Totem, one of the six mystical relics that can defeat Mallus. Unfortunately, the second Anne puts it on, it glows green and starts causes numerous vines to wrap around her, suffocating the life out of her.

Onboard the Waverider, the Legends discuss the known Totems. Vixen has the Spirit Totem, while Zari has the Air one. Vixen's granddaughter Kuasa has the Water Totem. That leaves Fire and Earth. She says each of the Five Tribes Of Zambesi was gifted with a Totem, but she has no idea what the sixth one could possibly be.

Atom somehow knows the Fire Totem is currently in a museum in Detroit. The Legends decide to fly to Detroit and grab it before Damien Darhk gets ahold of it. White Canary says it sounds like a solid plan, but says she's sitting out this mission, as she has urgent business elsewhere. The other Legends see through her vague excuse, and know she has a date with Agent Sharpe in Star City. Eh, it's just the fate of the known world. I can see how a dinner & drinks would be more important.

Cut to Canary and Agent Sharpe on a date in Star City. They awkwardly chit-chat about work, until they both decide not to talk shop. Each then reveals something embarrassing about their past.

Back on the ship, we see that Atom and Steel apparently went to Detroit while we weren't looking. They return to report that Damien Darhk stole the Fire Totem from the museum and left them a mocking note. Steel says he thinks he knows where the Earth Totem is though— in 1717, onboard Blackbeard's pirate ship. Just how he figured this out is left to our imaginations. I guess he read the script.

The Legends then want to travel to 1717 and pick up the Totem before Darhk snatches up that one as well. They debate whether they should recall Canary or tell her what they're planning. In the end they decide not to spoil her date and just do it without permission.

Meanwhile, Rip Hunter confronts Wally West, who's on some kind of walkabout in China. He asks for Wally's help, but he says he's done with speedstering. Rip says he understands, then deviously offers Wally a drink.

In 1717, Vixen, Heat Wave, Atom and Steel— all dressed in outlandish pirate gear— search for Blackbeard. They enter a pirate bar and hope he shows up. Vixen's mopey because she knows that eventually she has to leave Steel, return to her village and marry someone else, or she'll never have her now-grown grandkids (time travel's confusing). She sits in a corner by herself and sulks. Sensing she needs a boost, Heat Wave starts talking about the "Dread Pirate Jiwe," aka Vixen, to whoever'll listen. Soon the whole bar is talking about what a badass pirate she is.

For some reason, Atom and Steel return to the Waverider, where Zari's standing by. Suddenly the ship begins glitching, and Gideon warns them they've parked her in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, and the mysterious zone is interfering with her systems. It takes them an inordinately long time to think of moving the ship.

Back in the bar, Heat Wave's plan works— the patrons are all touting Vixen, saying she's a better and fiercer pirate than Blackbeard. Just then, Blackbeard enters and asks what the hell's going on. Vixen demands he tell her the location of the Earth Totem. He says he'll give it to her— for a price. Suddenly a group of British soldiers enter and surround everyone. They're commanded by Damien Darhk, who's dressed as a British Admiral.

Darhk grabs Vixen's Spirit Totem, then turns to Blackbeard and asks where the Earth one is. Blackbeard, who we realize is actually a sniveling coward, willingly draws him a map.

Back in China, Rip and Wally bond over drinks. Rip asks for a favor again, and this time Wally's only too happy to help out. They zip over to Star City, where they spot hapless Time Bureau Agent Gary Green. On Rip's orders, Wally takes Gary's "time courier" at superspeed, and for some reason decides to pants him as well (what'd Gary ever do to him?). He then steals Rip's old duster from the Time Bureau's closet.

In 1717, Darhk's men bring Vixen, Heat Wave and Blackbeard to the town square for execution. At the last second, the Legends fight back. For some reason, Darhk has returned to his ship. He sees the glitching Waverider hovering over the ocean, and begins lobbing cannonballs at it. The ship takes a ton of damage before Steel manages to time jump them out of the past.

In the present, the big date ends when Agent Sharpe excuses herself after seeing Gary wandering around the restaurant. Gary tells her his time courier's missing, and Rip's coat was stolen from storage. Sharpe realizes this means Rip's planning something. Canary then glances out the window and sees the Waverider crash land nearby. She pays the bill and exits, leaving Sharpe to deal with Gary. She finds the ship and sees it's in shambles. She orders Zari to fix it pronto, so they can rescue Vixen & Heat Wave.

In the past, Vixen & Heat Wave escape and return to the pirate bar. Heat Wave says they need a ship & a crew to help them get to Grace Island— the site where Blackbeard buried the Earth Totem. Amazingly, Blackbeard's crew decides to follow Vixen, who they still think is the "Dread Pirate Jiwe." Just then Blackbeard enters, and rather than put up a fight, decides to join her as well. They board Blackbeard's ship, the Queen Anne's Revenge, and set sail.

On the Waverider, Gideon detects a new anomaly in 1717, as the HMS Fortitude battled Blackbeard's ship near Grace Island. Canary tells them to get the ship working ASAP. Agent Sharpe then teleports onto the ship, and she and Canary get in a fight over their aborted date.

Unfortunately Damien Darhk arrives at Grace Island first, and his crew starts digging for the Earth Totem. Vixen and the others get there just in time to see him find it. Blackbeard admits to Vixen that when the Earth Totem caused the vines to envelope his lover Anne, he shot her in the head to end her suffering. Just then, a reanimated Anne pops out of the ground and attacks Darhk's men.

On the Waverider, the ship still isn't fixed. Steel reveals he somehow stole Agent Sharpe's time courier, and he and Atom use it to teleport to Grace Island. Unfortunately they leave the portal open, and Blackbeard and several of his men wander through it and into the Waverider. They attempt to claim the futuristic timeship for themselves.

Meanwhile, Zombie Anne dispatches Dahrk's men with her vines. Vixen approaches her and tries to talk her into removing the Totem. Just as she's about to do so, Darhk sneaks up behind Zombie Anne and snaps her neck. Darhk and Nora then move in to attack Vixen. Just then Atom shows up, and shoots Nora with his anti-magic nanite gun. Nora immediately collapses, and the Legends escape.

Back on the Waverider, Blackbeard and his men confront Canary and Agent Sharpe. The two women easily defeat the pirates, and Blackbeard surrenders. Canary returns them all to their proper time.

In China, Rip and Wally wake up with hangovers. Rip invites Wally to join the Legends, which is odd since he's no longer part of the team.

Canary and Sharpe make up. Vixen's distraught over losing her Totem. Atom feels guilty about shooting Nora, knowing that the nanites in her system are going to kill her. He decides to whip up a quick antidote.

Atom takes the jumpship to 1717, and approaches the Darhks. He offers Damien the cure in exchange for Vixen's Totem. Darhk throws it to Atom, and he injects Nora with the antidote. The second she's healed, she reaches up and drains the life force from Atom, knocking him unconscious.

Thoughts:
• Sometimes it's amazing how little superhero action there is on this superhero show. I think the only person who actually used their powers this week was Wally West, and he's not even an official member of the team yet.

This happens a lot on Legends Of Tomorrow. The show has so many powerful characters that it's tough to come up with a credible threat to them. The writers have to constantly figure out ways to put the Legends in legitimate danger, which usually involves hobbling them somehow. Professor Stein and Jackson get separated from one another, so they can't form Firestorm. Atom forgets to wear his power suit. There's a dampening field that prevents Steel from armoring up. And on and on.

This week the Legends could have defeated the various pirates in about five seconds flat if they'd only used their powers. Apparently the only way the writers could get around this problem was for the Legends to all simply forget they have superpowers! In fact the characters seemed to go out of their way to NOT use their abilities!

• The past couple of episodes have been cheap-looking bottle shows, that contained little or no special effects. I theorized that the producers were trying to save money, so they could splurge on this pirate extravaganza.

And that's exactly what happened. The Curse Of The Earth Totem has notably better production values than the previous couple of episodes. Hey, it's TV. Gotta work around that tight budget any way you can!

• Encore VFX generally does an amazing job of providing near-movie quality special effects to the Arrowverse. Unfortunately, occasionally their CGI is less than convincing. The scene in which Blackbeard's gal pal Anne is strangled by vines was one of those times.

• By the way, why does the Earth Totem affect plant life? Shouldn't it allow its user to hurl rocks and dirt instead?

• As we join the Legends on the Waverider, they're trying to figure out where the five known Totems are and who has them. As you can see on their board, they know of the Spirit, air and Water Totems, which are owned by Vixen, Zari and Kuasa, respectively. They also somehow know of the Fire and Earth Totems, even though they have no idea where they are or who possesses them. 

Vixen's been talking about the existence of the Fire and Earth Totems for several weeks now. I'm still fuzzy on just how she knows they exist in the first place. Did I miss an episode somewhere where they hear about them?

Vixen does say here that, "There are only five tribes in Zambesi. Each was gifted with a Totem. And I checked; there's no record of a sixth." Is that how she knows there are two others? If so, this is the first time she's ever mentioned her tribal legends.

• Zari and Vixen are both sporting brand new 'dos in this episode. Is there a beauty parlor onboard the Waverider, along with everything else?

• Speaking of hair, that is a goddamned wig Vixen's wearing in this episode! And true to longstanding Arrowverse tradition, it's a terrible-looking goddamned wig.

Why's she suddenly wearing a wig? She didn't have one on last week. Did she try to trim her hair and suffer a disastrous clipper accident?

• Writing good time travel stories is tough. Because of the nature of the genre, it's hard to come up with a plot complication that can't be solved by simply going back in time and righting whatever went wrong.

Case in point: The Legends travel to a museum in 2018 Detroit to, er, borrow the Fire Totem. When they get there, they find Damien Darhk's already stolen it. 

Big deal! They've got a time ship! Ask Gideon to review the museum's security footage to find out just when Darhk stole it. Then simply go back the day before and grab it before he does!

• Darhk beats the Legends to the Fire Totem, and leaves them a mocking message. A couple things here.

First of all, I love the fact that a evil supervillain like Damien Darhk has his own monogrammed stationery.

Secondly, his message reminds me a lot of John McClane's "Now I have a machine gun. Ho - Ho - Ho" from Die Hard.

• This episode subverts our expectations by revealing that the feared pirate Blackbeard ia (was?) actually a bumbling coward, ala Jack Sparrow. Was that supposed to be a Pirates Of The Caribbean reference? 

Blackbeard, aka Edward Teach, was actually a real person. He was an English pirate who sailed the area around the West Indies and the eastern coast of what would become America. 

Teach captured a French merchant vessel, which he renamed the Queen Anne's Revenge. He presumably named the ship after his lover, Anne Queen. He fitted the ship with forty guns and a large crew, becoming a renowned and allegedly bloodthirsty pirate.

There may be a sliver of truth in the way he's portrayed in this episode. Contrary to legend, there's no evidence that Teach ever harmed or murdered any of his captives, or mistreated his crew. As often happens, his image has been romanticized and exaggerated greatly over the years.

This episode takes place in 1717. Unfortunately for Blackbeard, he died the following year in November of 1718, when he was killed by a group of sailors sent out by Alexander Spotswood, the Governor of Virginia.

• Wally asks Rip how he managed to find him in such a remote location in China. Rip replies, "By tracking the geolocation of your MP3 player. Your playlist consists of a rather amazing number of repetitions of George Michael's Careless Whisper."

Um... I don't think the Legends writers understand how an MP3 player works. Even if Wally has a Bluetooth player, its range would be ridiculously tiny. Rip would have to be practically standing on top of him to detect it.

Secondly, why would Wally have multiple copies of the same song on his player's playlist? If he wanted to hear it over and over, just press "Repeat" and he could listen to it forever!

• For months now I've been complaining about the way The Flash writers treated the character of Wally West. They could never seem to figure out what to do with him, and after months of literally standing in the background, they finally just wrote him out altogether. 

Looks like the Legends writers agree with me! In this episode, Rip says, "Hey, your girlfriend dumped you, your team treated you like an outcast. It's no wonder you went walk-about. But the world needs Wallace West to step in from the cold."

I'm glad to see someone's acknowledged the character's been massively mistreated and underused. Hopefully Wally will be a much better fit over here on the Legends team!

• Rip decides to bond with Wally by getting him drunk, in an effort to con, er, I mean persuade him to joint his cause.

Amazingly, the writers remembered that speedsters like Wally need extra potent brews to become inebriated! Well done!

• Late in the third act, Vixen commandeers Blackbeard's ship, and sails it to Grace Island. Note that she actually steers the ship, suddenly spouting dialogue like, "All hands on deck! Secure the backstays and hoist the Jolly Roger high! There's land ahead!"

So how does a woman who grew up in the African plains have such intimate knowledge of sailing a ship? Not to mention knowing all the appropriate jargon?

• When Vixen is pretending to be the "Dread Pirate Jiwe," she suddenly sports a British accent to help sell the part. Actress Maisie Richardson-Sellars, who plays Vixen, gets to use her natural British accent in these scenes! I bet you didn't know she's really British!

For the record, a surprising number of Legends cast members are foreign-born:

Arthur Darvill, aka Rip Hunter, was obviously born in England.

Victor Garber, aka Professor Stein, was born in London, Ontario.

Franz Drameh, aka Jackson, was born in London, England (Hey, the two halves of Firestorm are both from from London! Two different Londons, but whatever).

Dominic Purcell, aka Heat Wave, was born in England but raised in Australia.

Wentworth Miller, aka Captain Cold, was born in England.

Tala Ashe, aka Zari, was born in Iran (!)

Keiynan Lonsdale, aka Kid Flash, was born in Australia.

Amy Pemberton, aka Gideon, was born in England.

• At the end of the episode, Atom feels guilty about shooting Nora with his anti-magic nanite gun, knowing it's eventually going to kill her. He then whips up an antidote and makes a deal with Damien Darhk— the Spirit Totem for Nora's life. He saves her life, but ends up getting himself captured.

When I first saw this scene it infuriated me, as it was so blatantly stupid. So Atom kills Nora Darhk? Big deal! Hasn't that been the objective all season? Kill her to prevent her & her dad from killing millions? That's how saving the world works.

But the more I think about it, the more sense it actually makes. Atom's a character who's always been defined by his innocence and unbridled optimism. As such, he really would be riddled with guilt over the idea of killing someone, and would do whatever he could to prevent that from happening.

But still... would it have killed him to wear his goddamned armor when he approached the Darhks? Then when Nora reached for him, he could have simply shrank and flown away. Walking into a lion's den like that without taking any defensive measures is just lazy writing.

• This Week's Best Lines:

Vixen: (reading Darhk's note) "Dear, Legends, now I have two."

Zari: "You know, for a megalomaniac, he has very lovely penmanship." 

Wally: "Right now, I'm living my life one quarter-mile at a time."

Rip: "Was that a Buddhist koan?"

Wally: "Dom Toretto, The Fast and the Furious." 

Vixen: "I want to change my granddaughter Kuasa's past, and, well, improve her future."

Heat Wave: "So, do it."

Vixen: "It's not that simple. What if I inadvertently change my other granddaughter's destiny?"

Heat Wave: "So, don't do it."

Darhk:  (eyeing her Totem) "Good evening, Ms. Jiwe. They say the third time is a charm, but this charm is the third."

Rip: "Both of my favorite prodigies conspired to have me put in prison."

Wally: "What happened?"

Rip: "Well, I lied to Sara, in addition to accidentally aiding in the resurrection of the man who killed her sister. And Ava is angry at me for sending good agents to their deaths."

Wally: "Whoa sounds like you're a bit of a douche. No no offense."

Rip: "No, none taken, no."

British Officer: (after cornering Vixen) "You're in sore need of a sword, pirate." 

Canary: "When I left, you were headed to Detroit."

Atom: "Yeah, it's a It's it's a really It's a really long story."

Steel: "Mick and Amaya are marooned in 1717, the Darhks have the Fire Totem and Blackbeard has the Earth Totem."

Atom: "I just thought it was gonna be a longer story."

Canary: (to Atom & Steel) “I don’t know who looks more ridiculous. You guys in your pirate britches or me in this stupid dress.”

Zari: “Definitely them.”

Atom: (to Darhk) "I've come for a trade: Amaya's Totem, and I will save Nora."

(Darhk immediately tosses the Earth Totem over to him) 

Atom: "I honestly thought that would be harder."

Legends Of Tomorrow Season 1, Episode 7: Marooned

This week on Legends Of Tomorrow we get the series' first ever space-based episode (LEGENDS. IN. SPACE!), as well as Rip Hunter's derivative origin story. Oh, and Captain Cold and Heat Wave's feud reaches a deadly conclusion!

Once again Cold and Heat Wave, who started out as the most standard, paper-thin villains imaginable, have become the series' most well drawn and compelling characters. I'm not quite sure where the relationship between the two is headed, especially after this episode, but I'm anxious to find out.

The Legends Of Tomorrow writers just can't seem to resists tossing in the occasional sci-fi movie reference into each episode. They outdid themselves this week though, as this episode must set a record for most sci-fi shout outs. It was distracting after a while. 

The villains in this episode, the Time Pirates, turned out to be far more lame than threatening. They were incredibly easy to defeat, as well. 

Seeing Professor Stein turn into Space John McClane and save the ship was fun, but his scenes were all too brief. We needed much more of him in the episode. That seems to be a running theme on this show— there are so many characters and the writers try to accommodate them all, which just results in episodes full of rushed and abbreviated character bits. I get that it's an ensemble show, but they need to focus on one or two Legends in each episode, and let the others watch from the sidelines.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:

The Waverider hangs somewhere in deep space. Rip Hunter sits in his office, watching low-res holograms of his late wife and son. Professor Stein enters and tells him the crew's getting antsy, as they've been sitting around doing nothing for an entire week. Hunter says he has no idea where to look for Vandal Savage next, because Gideon needs to get an update from the Vanishing Point, aka the headquarters of the Time Masters. Trouble is, if he lets Gideon do so, it'll set off an alarm and the Time Masters will know where they are and come runnin.'

Gideon receives a distress call from the Acheron, the flagship of the Time Fleet. Hunter says it's commanded by Captain Eve Barker, an old acquaintance, and if they save her, they can use her ship to update Gideon and find Savage. The other Legends worry the distress signal seems mighty convenient, and could be a trap. Hunter poo-poos their concerns. He leaves Atom and Hawkgirl in charge of the Waverider, while he, Heatwave, Stein and Jackson take the jumpship over to the Acheron. Captain Cold tells White Canary that Heat Wave is becoming increasingly violent and unstable, and has to be stopped soon.

Hunter flashes back to his days at Time Master school. He and a fellow student named Miranda Coburn are in a simulator, undergoing the Kobayashi Maru in order to graduate. Their instructor congratulates Miranda for passing, and says Hunter needs to think more like her. Outside the simulator, Hunter and Miranda kiss, and we realize she's the woman who will become his wife. They're interrupted by their hurumphing instructor, who tells them to report immediately to the Time Council. 

Back in the present (whenever that is in this episode), Hunter and the others board the Acheron. Sure enough, it really is a trap, and they're captured by a group of Time Pirates. The leader is Captain John Valor, who's heard of Hunter and his reputation. He says Captain Barker was transporting them to prison, but they escaped and took over the ship. She destroyed her time drive per protocol, so they sent out a distress signal, knowing another time ship would come to her rescue. He calls the Waverider, where Atom is pretending to be Captain Kirk. Valor tells Atom that he's holding the boarding party hostage, and to hand over the ship. 

Naturally Atom has no idea what to do. Hunter tries to bluff Valor by saying the Waverider crew are "iron-willed and battle-hardened," and won't hesitate to fire on the Archeron. Valor isn't buying it. Hunter says, "You don't know Palmer, he survived the Imperiex Onslaught." Gideon, who's been listening in, hears those last two code words and begins executing evasive maneuvers. 

The two ships begin chasing one another through deep space. The ships exchange fire and the Waverider is hit, which causes a breach in the cargo bay. Professor Stein sneaks out of the jump ship and into the Acheron. He finds the engine room and miraculously figures out how to disable the weapons systems.

Meanwhile Cold uses his freeze gun to seal the hole in the Waverider's hull. He manages to seal it partially before his gun's charge runs out. The bulkheads close, sealing him and Canary in the cargo bay. Despite the fact that Gideon's a sentient artificial intelligence that controls every aspect of the ship, she can't open a simple door and let them out. They're trapped inside, as the air is slowly leaking out into space.

Back on the Acheron, Valor throws Hunter and the rest in the brig with Captain Baxter. She tells Hunter he's a disgrace to the Time Masters and if they manage to get out of this, she'll arrest him and take him in. 

Hunter has another flashback. He and Miranda stand before the Time Council. They're accused of having a relationship, which for reasons, is strictly forbidden in the Time Master profession. The Masters give them one hour to get their stories straight before they pass judgement and kick them both out.

In the present, Atom dons his power armor and flies into space to seal the hole in the Waverider. Over on the Acheron, Professor Stein becomes a one man army. He knocks out a pirate and steals his weapon and clothing, and begins sneaking though the ship.In the brig, Heat Wave grows increasingly hostile. Hunter tells him he was never crucial to the Savage mission, and the only reason he was recruited is because he needed Cold, and the two were a team. Heat Wave looks hurt, and then calls for Captain Valor. Heat Wave makes a deal with him, and agrees to turn the Waverider over to him in exchange for a ride back to 2016.

Hunter tells Captain Baxter that he doesn't regret betraying the Time Masters, but he'll never forgive himself for failing to save his family. He flashes back again to the Time Council. He stands before them alone, ready to take his punishment. They tell him the trial has been cancelled. Apparently Miranda took full responsibility for their affair, and resigned. Hunter's now in the clear. 

Atom is almost finished sealing the hull, but his oxygen is running out. He manages to seal it just as he passes out. He drifts off into space, but comes to just long enough to activate his suit's jets and head back toward the airlock. Gideon brings him in, and says he's suffering from cardiac arrest (does that happen when you can't breathe?). Hawkgirl revives him with CPR. Gideon opens the bulkhead and frees Cold and Canary.

Just then Heat Wave arrives back on the Waverider, with the Time Pirates in tow. He sees Cold and tells him it's time to pick a side. Cold does, and blasts one of the pirates. A battle breaks out between the two sides. Heat Wave goes to the engine room to grab the time drive. Canary tries to stop him, but he's too strong for her. Cold blasts him with his freeze ray. The Legends capture the rest of the pirate boarding party.

On the Acheron, Professor Stein frees Hunter and the others from the brig. They battle the pirates, including Valor.  Eventually they're overpowered, and captured by the pirates. This would be a perfect time for Stein and Jackson to become Firestorm, but apparently they forget they can do that. Captain Baxter grabs on to a pipe and orders Gilbert (the Acheron's version of Gideon) to open the airlock. Stein and Jackson grab onto something just in time, as the pirates are blown into space.

With the pirates defeated, Baxter tells Hunter she's decided not to turn him in. She tells him Savage is in 1958. Time for one final flashback! Hunter runs into Miranda and asks her why she resigned and saved him. She says it's because being a Time Master has always been his dream, and he's so much better at it than her (HAW!). She says the Time Masters are wrong to forbid love, because it's no threat. Aw...

In the present, Hawkgirl kisses Atom. I guess she forgot all that stuff she said a few episodes ago about finding Hawkman and reuniting with him no matter what. The Legends meet to discuss what to do about Heat Wave. They can't keep him in the brig indefinitely, and if they take him back to 2016 they're afraid he'll target their families. Cold says he'll handle it. 

Cut to an unknown planet. Cold drags Heat Wave out into a muddy bog. Heat Wave wakes up and Cold tells him he's dangerous and has become a liability to the team. Heat Wave says only one of them is walking out of this alive. Cold says, "You're right," and seemingly blasts him with his freeze ray.

Thoughts:

• Let's talk about that ending first. It sure looks like Cold solves the problem of What To Do About Heat Wave by killing him, and I'm sure that's exactly what the writers want us to think, I would be very, very surprised if he's dead though.

For one thing, we never actually see him get killed, and there's no way they're going to kill a major character offscreen. Secondly we never saw a body, and the first rule of comic book movies and TV shows is: If You Don't See A Body, They're Not Dead.

I admit I'm not quite sure where they're going with this if he's not dead. Maybe Cold is just marooning Heat Wave on some unnamed, deserted planet somewhere in the galaxy.

• At the beginning of the episode, Hunter watches a hologram of his late wife and child. Why is it that whenever you see a futuristic hologram in a sci-fi movie or TV show, it's always looks like a blurry, monochromatic, lo-res flickering image from a 1950s TV set?

Oddly enough, later in the episode, Gideon projects a hologram of the Waverider that's so perfect it fools the Time Pirates into following it. Why's one type of hologram indistinguishable from the real thing, while others look like crap?

• Rip Hunter's origin story would have us believe he was destined to be a Time Master, and is one of the best there is at what he does. Too bad this episode doesn't support that theory. He really is a horrible captain.

When they receive a distress signal from the Acheron, the entire team smells a trap. Hunter ignores their suspicions, stumbles blindly onto the ship and is promptly captured. Even worse, he leaves Atom, one of the most powerful members of the team, back on the ship, and splits up Stein and Jackson, ensuring they won't be able to form Firestorm, arguably the Legends' biggest gun. Brilliant!

• As always, there are many DC comic references in this episode. 

— Captain Baxter, commander of the Acheron, is actually an obscure character from the comics. She was a teacher who joined the comic book Rip Hunter's team.

— Captain Valor, leader of the Time Pirates, was also in the comics, but in a vastly different form. In the comics he was an actual seafaring pirate, not a space or time one.

— Professor Stein says as a boy he used to read Rick Starr: Space Ranger comics. As you might expect, that was an actual silver age DC comic.— Hunter uses the code phrase "Imperiex Onslaught" to activate Gideon's evasive maneuvers. Imperiex is sort of the DC comics version of Marvel's Galactus.

— Hunter also uses the phrase "Kanjar Ro." In the comics, Ro was an evil space dictator, and one of the Justice League's earliest foes.

• In addition to all the DC references, the episode was chock full of nods to Star Trek, Star Wars, Back To The Future and even Pirates Of The Caribbean! An occasional nod or Easter egg is fine, but they really went overboard here. The constant references are exhausting after a while, plus they pull you out of the story and make you realize you could be watching something better.

— In a flashback, Hunter and Miranda participate in a Time Master test that's very much like the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek The Wrath of Khan. Seriously, this test is identical in every measurable sense. The two students are in a live simulator, complete with realistic explosions, smoke and erupting sparks. There are opponents played by live people as well. And at the end of the test, their instructor even walks into the simulator and congratulates Miranda for her unorthodox thinking under pressure! They might as well have just showed a clip of the Kobayashi Maru from Wrath Of Khan and got it over with.

Every series is influenced by what came before; that's just a given. But this seems less like an homage and more like a blatant, nearly word for word swipe.

— When Atom's in charge of the Waverider, he pretends to make a captain's log. Hawkgirl says, "I hate to break it to you, but you're no Kirk. You're Picard." Atom says, "But Picard was cautious, pontificating and sort of sexless." Hawkgirl says, "Tell that to Vash," an obscure reference only a major Trekkie would know.

Cold says he's going to fix the hole in the hull, and says to Hawkgirl, "Make sure Picard doesn't get us all killed (referring to Atom)." Atom says, "Actually I'm more like Sulu now. Or Han Solo!"

— On the Acheron, Jackson says, "To quote every Star Wars ever made, 'I've got a bad feeling about this."

— When Valor meets Rip Hunter, he says, "I thought you'd be taller." I'm betting that's an oblique reference to Princess Leia's "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" line from A New Hope.

— When Atom's air runs out and he floats off into space, Gideon says his chances of survival are 3,720 to one. That's C-3PO's line from The Empire Strikes Back. Is it bad that I knew that without having to look it up?

— The Time Master's rule forbidding members from having families or relationships sounds suspiciously like the Jedi Order's similar law from the Star Wars prequels.

— Professor Stein says "Great Scott!" which of course is Doc Brown's catchphrase from Back To The Future.

— Heat Wave says, "Me and the pirates are gonna have a little parlay." That had to be a Pirates Of The Caribbean reference.

• When Heat Wave tells Valor he'll hand over the ship in exchange for passage home, I really thought it was part of a scheme, and he was playing him for a sucker. Too bad that wasn't the case.

• When the Waverider's damaged, the emergency bulkheads close, trapping Cold and Canary in the slowly decompressing cargo hold. Gideon says she can't override the bulkheads as long as there's a hull breach.

Well that was mighty convenient for the plot! Gideon is an advanced artificial intelligence who can fly the ship, but she can't open a goddamned door.

• Atom flies out into space to seal the hole in the Waverider. Unfortunately his oxygen runs out and he passes out, drifting off into space.

I guess it never occurred to him to pop back inside the ship for a minute or two to refill his oxygen tanks. Surely Cold and Canary could have survived another five minutes or so.

• On the Acheron, Professor Stein, Jackson and Captain Baxter are surrounded by pirates. I assume there must have been a very compelling reason why Stein and Jackson didn't form Firestorm? The two just stand there like statues, seemingly powerless to do anything.

This has been a problem with the series from the beginning—  the team is almost too powerful, so it's tough to come up with threats they can't easily handle. But having the two most powerful members just stand there was a little too much. I was practically screaming at the screen, yelling, "Form Firestorm now, idiots!"

• Baxter finally saves the day by decompressing the corridor, which blows the pirates out into space. As the pirates fly out of the ship, you can hear the infamous Wilhelm Scream on the soundtrack. 

That sound effect was a fun little Easter egg the first twelve thousand times I heard it, but it's getting a little old now. It's past time it was retired for good.

• This week Hunter mentions the brig, which is yet another room inside the vast interior space of the TARDIS, er, I mean Waverider. I'm still not sure how all the spacious rooms and corridors we've seen so far are packed in there.

• In the final flashback of the episode, Hunter and Miranda have a secret, illegal rendezvous in the Time Master's citadel. If your organization forbids you to carry on a relationship with someone, by all means plant a big kiss on them in a highly visible glass corridor.