How Appetizing!

One of my absolute favorite snack foods is Pringles Cheddar and Sour Cream Flavored Chips, er, I mean Potato Crisps.

Well, they were my favorite, until I noticed the albino flatworm on the can that's about to engulf and devour one of the chips. Mmm... appetizing!
 

The Shrink-O-Tron Strikes Again: Pringles

So a few days ago I'm lying on the couch snacking, which these days is pretty much my favorite activity. I was eating Cheddar Cheese Pringles potato chips, er, I mean potato crisps, and noticed something odd.

After just a couple handfuls of delicious crisps, the can was already half empty! What gives?

I took a long, hard look at the orangish can, and something about it didn't seem quite right to my eyes...

I dug the previous can of crisps out of the trash and compared it to the new one. Sure enough, my instincts were right— the dreaded Shink-O-Tron has struck my beloved Pringles Cheddar Cheese (and presumably all their other flavors as well!) potato crisps! The new can is a good one half to three quarters of an inch shorter than the old one!

Further investigation revealed that not only has the size of the can shrunk, but so have the contents— from 5.96 ounces down to 5.5. 

Now I will admit that mathematically the loss of .46 ounces may not seem like a huge amount, but remember Pringles are really, really light. It takes quite a few of them to make up an ounce! I wouldn't be surprised to find out there were twenty fewer chips in these new smaller cans.

Naturally even though the bastards at Pringles used the Shrink-O-Tron on the contents of the can, the price remains firmly the same. Hey, who doesn't love paying the same price for less?

Pringles currently sells this comically small, novelty-sized 2.5 ounce "snack size" can of crisps. At the rate they're going, it won't be long before this becomes the regular size for their entire snack line!

When is this crap going to end? When will companies stop with this sneaky, underhanded tactic and just raise the price of the goddamned can? Why can't they just level with us and say, "Look guys, we're very sorry but due to increased production costs we're going to have to raise the price of our potato crisps by a few cents. We'll try not to do it again for a year or so." If they did that then consumers nationwide would understand and say, "Well that sounds just fine."

But no. Instead of raising the price like normal human beings, they surreptitiously roll out a smaller box that holds less product, and then they hope we're all too horrified by the antics of our new "president" that we'll be too rattled to notice. It's sneaky, sleazy and underhanded. It's something Communists would do. Are you all Commies, Pringles Corporation?

As I was writing this post, I remembered something similar happening a few years ago involving Kellogg's and their Crunchy Nut Golden Honey Nut Flakes cereal. In 2013, Kellogg's sneakily reduced the contents of Crunchy Nut cereal from 14.1 ounces down to 13.2, and of course left the price unchanged.

Hmmm... I did a little googling just now, and guess who owns Pringles brand potato crisps? You guessed it, our old friends up in Battle Creek, none other than Kellogg's themselves! I should have known! They just can't stop themselves from shrinking their products, but not their prices.

Well screw you, Kellogg's. Screw you and the horse your batch*t insane, enema-loving founder rode in on!

And A Pringle In A Pan-treeee!

I was in the grocery store a couple of days ago and saw this:

Yep, that's right— a can of delicious, Original Flavored Pringles Potato Crisps with a gift tag pre-printed right there on the can. Apparently Kellogg's, who now owns Pringles, believes that cans of potato chips are now an acceptable Xmas gift.

Welp, looks like my gift-giving problems are over! I know what everyone on my list is getting for Xmas this year! Thanks, Kellogg's!

As odd as it sounds, this isn't the first time this has happened. Last year Oscar Meyer printed gift tags on their packages of pre-cooked bacon.

And cigarette companies have printed printed gift tags on their festively decorated cartons for decades. That's former president Ronald Reagan there above, sending out coffin nails (and lung disease) to all the smokers on hislist. It's the gift that keeps on giving, right up until the end!

Dear Pringles, Please Stop Doing This

Dear Pringles (and or Kellogg's, who owns them), please stop doing this. 

Oh, I'm not talking about creating your weirdo flavors. Your Lime and Black Pepper flavored chips from last year were awesome and one of my all time favorite things to eat.

No, Pringles, I'm talking about this. The "Limited Time Only!" crap. What the hell? Why do you give us a new and delicious taste sensations, only to cruelly snatch them away from us a couple of months later? What kind of sadistic bastards do you have working there, Pringles? 

From now on, whenever I see one of your new flavors that's only going to be available for a limited time, I'm not even going to try it. What's the point? Why develop a fondness for it if I can't eat it from now on? 

You're a ruthless and harsh mistress, Pringles.

And really, Pringles? Cinnamon and Sugar flavor? Sugar? On our potato chips? Aren't there enough people riding mobility scooters up and down the snack aisle already?

Deck The Halls With Cans Of Pringles

Just in time for your holiday feasts, Pringles is releasing three new seasonally themed flavors: Pumpkin Pie Spice, White Chocolate/Peppermint and Cinnamon & Sugar.

Why slave over a hot stove creating sumptuous deserts when you can just open a can, pour some in a bowl and be the envy of all your holiday guests? Your relatives, in their turkey-fueled comas, will think you spent hours creating these saddle-shaped slices of heaven!

So how do they taste? In a word... meh.

I taste tested the Pumpkin and Cinnamon varieties only, as I haven't seen the White Chocolate flavor around these parts as of yet. They were just OK. I was expecting something... I don't know, life altering. Instead all I got was some potato chips-- excuse me, crisps-- that taste vaguely like pumpkin and cinnamon. They were actually kind of bland. Sadly, my life remains unaltered.

The cans are emblazoned with a warning claiming that they're available for a limited time only. If you try them and like them and hate to see them go, quite honestly you could probably make your own by buying a couple of cans of regular Pringles and sprinkling pumpkin and cinnamon spice on them.