The Orville Season 1, Episode 6: Krill

This week The Orville continues to improve, and demonstrates that it's much more than just a spoof of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

This week's episode finally brings back the Krill, the enemy aliens who were introduced in the series' pilot but haven't been seen since. It gives us some much needed background on the Klingons, er, I mean the Krill and their culture, as we find out their society is eerily similar to our own.

At first glance this episode, in which the Krill refuse to tolerate any race not blessed by their god, seems to be making a comment about Middle Eastern religious extremism, specifically Muslims. Scratch a bit deeper though and I think it's actually commenting on ALL religions— even Christian fundamentalism! Think about it— over the centuries there's been more blood shed in the name of the Christian God than for any other reason. Heck, the Krill temple even looks amazingly like the inside of a Christian church!

The religious angle gets abandoned halfway through the episode though, as it switches gears and becomes a morality play about casualties of war. Mercer's forced to killa ship full of Krill in order to save a human colony. It's not quite the victory he hoped for though, as his actions inadvertently make future enemies of a group of Krill children. Mercer's realization that violence just begets violence was legitimately chilling, and something I never expected to see on this show.

Krill is the first episode that's not written by series creator Seth MacFarlane. It was penned by David A. Goodman, who's written and produced many of MacFarlane's various animated shows. Goodman's also a Trek alum, as he wrote several scripts for Enterprise (and even an episode of The Golden Girls!). 

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
In Ten Forward, er, I mean the crew lounge, the bridge staff discovers Bortus can eat virtually anything and hilarity ensues. Suddenly their good time's interrupted as they're called to the bridge. A Krill Battle Cruiser is attacking a human colony on Castor IV. Captain Mercer hails the ship and orders them to cease fire. The Battle Cruiser complies, but unfortunately it turns and begins firing on the Orville.

Mercer uses some fancy tactics to obscure the Krill vessel's targeting scanners, then unexpectedly unleashes all torpedoes on the enemy ship, destroying it. Even better, Kelly notices a Krill shuttle floating in the wreckage.

Admiral Ozawa arrives on the Orville, and has a plan for the captured Krill shuttle. She says the Union knows very little about the Krill, except that they're extremely religious, and attack human colonies because they see it as their divine right. She says they need to understand the Krill better in order to have a lasting peace, and the only way to do that is to obtain a copy of the Ancana— the Krill bible.

Union intelligence believes every Krill ship has at least one Ancana on board, and Ozawa wants one. She orders Mercer and Gordon to take the stolen shuttle, use it to infiltrate a Krill ship and steal a bible. Mercer's less than enthusiastic about this insane plan, but agrees.

The crew preps the Krill ship in the shuttle bay. Suddenly a Krill soldier enters, holding a gun to Mercer's head. The crew tries to diffuse the tense situation, but the Krill starts laughing and suddenly morphs into Gordon. Mercer explains that Isaac helped develop sophisticated holographic projectors to disguise them as Krill. The projectors will even fool the Krill sensors.

Kelly tells Mercer and Gordon to be careful. They take off in the shuttle and head for the nearest Krill ship. On the way, Mercer reads up on the enemy race. He says the Krill Homeworld is surrounded by thick clouds that obscure 96% of their sun's light, meaning the planet's shrouded in perpetual darkness. Plot Point!

They dock with the Krill ship Y'kar, and are met by Captain Haros and High Priest Sazeron. Mercer and Gordon can't think of suitable Krill names, so they introduce themselves as "Chris" and "Devon."

Sazeron is instantly suspicious, wondering how they survived when everyone else onboard the ship was killed. Just then a bell sounds, and Sazeron says it's time for services. Mercer and Gordon follow everyone into a chapel, where they sit next to a female Krill named Telaya. She introduces herself, and says her brother was on the Kakov, the ship the Orville destroyed. This makes Mercer uncomfortable, as he realizes his actions had very real consequences for the Krill.

Sazeron leads the service, praying to Avis (yeah, Avis), the Krill god. As part of the service, Sazeron holds up the head of a human captured in a raid, saying the man believed he was entitled to the resources of his colony world. Sazeron says the human was not touched by Avis' divine hand, and is therefore unworthy. He then stabs the head a dozen times or so, horrifying Mercer and Gordon. Mercer spots a copy of the Ancana on the altar.

After services, Mercer and Gordon sneak into the chapel. Mercer starts photographing every page of the Ancana, which is easily a foot thick. Suddenly Sazeron enters and catches them. They make a lame excuse and leave. Sazeron eyes them suspiciously.

Sazeron asks Haros to post a guard on the chapel, saying he doesn't trust "Chris" and "Devon." Haros agrees, and orders a guard. Mercer and Gordon sneak back into the chapel and finish copying the book (I guess?). While they're doing so, their holographic generators glitch and stop working, causing them to revert to their true forms. Uh-oh.

Just then a guard enters the chapel and snoops around. Mercer and Gordon somehow elude him and run back to their quarters, where they fix their holo-disguises. Mercer says their holograms were disrupted by a massive power source two decks below, and of course they decide to investigate.

They track the power source and discover the Krill are building a massive neutron bomb. Mercer invites Telaya to dinner to pump her for more info. She claims that anything not Krill doesn't have a soul, and they'll be carrying out the will of Avis when they use the bomb to kill the human colony of Rana III.

Gordon wants to leave immediately and warn the Union, as they've completed their mission and apparently copied the 50,000 page Ancana. Mercer says the mission's changed, as they need to sabotage the bomb while they're already here. He theorizes they could board their shuttle, then use their holo-emitters to remotely detonate the bomb inside the Krill ship. Gordon uncharacteristically points out that they came here to try and make peace, but now they're talking about killing everyone on board. Mercer says there's no alternative.

On their way to look for tools, they're approached by Telaya, who wants them to speak to the class she teaches. They reluctantly agree, and enter the classroom full of Krill child trainees. One asks Mercer how many humans he's killed, while another wants to know why the Union doesn't believe in Avis. Telaya reminds the kids that humans have no souls.

Back in their quarters, Mercer's unnerved by the incident, and tells Gordon that colony or no colony, he's not blowing up a ship full of kids. Just then, Coja, one of Telaya's students, enters and starts asking questions. He wants to know where humans are from and why they don't look like Krill. Mercer explains that it's perpetually dark on Krill, hence their pale skin, while on Earth the sun's UV rays cause some humans to be darker. This spurs the old "Random Comment Inspires A Brilliant Idea" cliche, and Mercer tells Coja to get the hell out. See?

Mercer asks Gordon if it's possible to turn up the lights inside the ship and amplify the UV spectrum. Gordon says yes, even thought there's no way he could possibly know how the internal mechanisms of an alien ship would work. Gordon says that would fry the Krill, who are basically "space vampires," while he and Mercer would just get a bad sunburn. Told you that was a Plot Point! 

Gordon brings up the matter of the kids, and Mercer says they could round them all up in the classroom and blow out the lights inside, saving them. Gordon sets up the overload, and activates a ten minute countdown. Unfortunately he's then captured by Sazeron, who confiscates his holo-emiter. He shuts it off, revealing Gordon's humanity, and takes him to the Captain. Mercer returns to the classroom and sees Coja's missing. Just then an intruder alarm sounds. Mercer begs Telaya to keep the kids inside the classroom, and runs off to look for Coja.

Mercer runs through the corridors, pursued by Krill soldiers. On the bridge, Haros questions Gordon, who claims they're on a mission of peace. Haros doesn't believe him, and stabs Gordon in the leg— the same leg he had regenerated just last week.

Just then the ship arrives at Rana III, and Haros launches the bomb. Mercer finds Coja and returns him to the classroom, just as the lights flare up. All over the ship, the Krill collapse as they're burned alive and killed. I guess when Gordon said they'd be "fried," he wasn't kidding!

Gordon sees the bomb heading for Rana III. Luckily he knows how to fire a torpedo on an alien ship, and destroys the bomb at the last second.

Cut to the Orville towing the Krill Destroyer back to the Union. Mercer meets with Telaya before she's taken to the brig. He tells her the children will be returned to their families on Krill, and promises she won't be harmed. She says she finds that hard to believe, since he just murdered her entire crew. Mercer says their mission was one of peace, but the Krill were planning on wiping out Rana III, leaving him with no choice.

Telaya asks Mercer why he saved the Krill children. He says because they're just kids with their whole lives ahead of them. He says they're not his enemy. Telaya ominously says after they saw what he did, they will be. 

Thoughts:
• A short little disclaimer here before we start. I wasn't all that impressed with The Orville at first, but I quickly grew to like it over the past month or so. I liked this week's episode a lot as well, even though I'm about to rip it a new one. That's because it's entirely possible to like something while simultaneously pointing out its flaws. I can enjoy the episode while admitting it's far from perfect. OK, on with the review!

• When the crew finds out Bortus can eat anything, they have a field day offering him various items. Gordon runs to the replicator, er, I mean the synthesizer and asks it to materialize "one cactus plant." Woah, wait a minute... that means the Orville's synthesizers can create life!

This opens up a HUGE can of worms, one I don't think the writer quite thought through. Conjuring up a bowl of cereal or even a cooked sirloin steak is one thing. Creating a living cactus plant is quite another! And that's just what happened. No one would ever ask for a dead, simulated cactus— they'd want a real, living, growing one!

If the synthesizers can indeed create life, then the people in the 25th Century can keep their pets forever. I'm assuming it works by scanning an item and storing it in its memory, so it can create a copy later. So when you first get a dog or cat, just stick it in the synthesizer and scan it. When the pet inevitably dies, all you have to do is order up another one! Sure, its memories would be a few years out of date, but hey, you'd still have Mr. Barkers back!

Why stop with pets? Build a bigger synthesizer and scan your kids! If one dies, just make a new copy! You could even scan yourself and live forever (sort of— a copy of you could live on long after you were gone).

As I said, I think the cactus thing slipped under everyone's radar, and they didn't quite think through the implications.

• Alara hands Bortus a drinking glass to see if he can eat it. He picks it up and delicately takes a big bite out of it, chewing the glass shards and swallowing them.

Sorry, Orville SFX Guys, but that had to be the WORST LOOKING fake glass I've ever seen. It didn't even look like a glass— it looked like it was make out of sugar or something.

• When the Orville encounters the Krill Battle Cruiser, Mercer orders Alara to hail them and immediately starts addressing the ship. Alara sheepishly stops him, admitting she's not opened haling frequencies yet!

OK, the joke was kind of out of place in what was a serious situation, but it was still pretty funny. It took a decades-old sci-fi convention— one we saw over and over on every Trek series— and turned it right on its ear. I guess Alara's just not as quick at opening frequencies as Uhura or Worf!

• Once again I gotta point out that although the Orville certainly looks cool, it's a terribly, terribly designed ship. Near the beginning of the episode, Bortus fires all torpedoes at the pursuing Krill Battle Cruiser.

Note that the rear torpedo tubes are on each side of the main (only?) shuttle bay. That means the torpedoes have to fly between the three engine rings in order to hit their target! 

Jesus Christ! Surely there's a better spot for the launchers— one that doesn't risk blowing up the goddamned ship every time they're used!

• This week we get our first ever look at a Union ship besides the Orville. Admiral Ozawa arrives on the Olympia, which must be some sort of heavy cruiser. It has the same basic layout as the Orville (complete with three engine rings), but is much, much larger.

• Not a nitpick, just an observation: Do you think it just might be possible that the Orville's Ten Forward, er, I mean crew lounge is a redress of the corridor set seen in this episode?

This isn't something unique to The Orville, as all the various Star Trek series constantly reused their sets over the years. Heck, it's not just Trek— ALL shows have done this at one time or another. Sets are expensive and time consuming to build, so it makes sense to repurpose them whenever possible.

• Gordon holographically disguises himself as a Krill and enters the shuttlebay, pretending he's holding Mercer captive. He completely fools the crew, causing him to double over with laughter. I've listened to Gordon's next line twenty times, and it sound for all the world like he says, "Oh man, your faces were f*cking priceless!" I'm sure the censors didn't actually let that slip through, but boy does it sure sound like it. Maybe he said "freakin."

On the other hand, over on Star Trek: Discovery this week, they actually DID drop the F-bomb for the first time in the fifty one year history of the franchise. In fact they did it twice. Sigh... Congratulations, CBS! You finally figured out what was missing from the Star Trek formula. It's not well-written scripts, likable characters or complex moral dilemmas— it's profanity, and lots of it!

• After boarding the Krill ship, Mercer and Gordon introduce themselves as "Chris" and "Devon." I'm betting the "Chris" alias was an obvious Family Guy reference.

• The Krill in this episode all have slightly different features such as chin horns and cheek ridges, which makes it easier to tell them apart. 

The makeup's done by KNB EFX Group, which is apparently taking cues from Michael Westmore, who created alien prosthetics for all the modern Trek series. Westmore did the same thing with the Klingons, giving each of them all subtly different forehead ridges.

• James Horan plays Sazeron, the Krill High Priest. Horan's name should be familiar to fans of modern Trek, as he's guest-starred on ST:TNG, DS9, Voyager and Enterprise.

• The look of the Krill makeup seems to have been tweaked slightly since the pilot (just like Alara's look). When we first saw them they appeared to have solid black eyes with glowing white pupils. It was a cool effect, and made the Krill look even more alien.

For some reason, all the Krill in this episode have plain old solid black eyes. So what happened to the white pupils? I have a feeling that was probably a CGI effect and turned out to be too expensive to use in the long run, so... solid black eyes it is. Too bad, as I really liked the white pupil look.

One last thing about eyeballs. The holographic Krill versions of Mercer and Gordon, er, I mean "Chris" and "Devon" have distinctly human-looking eyes. Luckily for the two of them the other Krill either didn't notice this physical anomaly or were too polite to mention it.

I'm assuming the makeup team left their eyes alone to help the audience recognize which Krill were Mercer and Gordon.

• How's this for some really hardcore nitpicking? Mercer and Gordon use holographic projectors to disguise themselves as Krill soldiers, right? But when Mercer's talking to Captain Haros, he tries to cross his arms and can't, as his thick Krill gauntlets get in the way. 

Wha...? I thought the holograms were just images projected around their bodies. Apparently they're somehow solid. They'd have to have some kind of substance, or else Mercer would be able to cross his arms, and it would probably look like his gauntlets were melding into one another. 

Told you it was hardcore!

• It was certainly lucky for Mercer and Gordon that the Krill speak perfect, unaccented English, and their alien computer systems and ship controls are all instantly understandable!

OK, the "Aliens Speaking English" thing is something we're just all going to have to accept and ignore. It's happened in every Trek series ever aired, and every attempt to explain how everyone's understanding everybody else always ends up making things worse. So I'm willing to give 'em this one.

The Krill computers and screens are a different matter though...

Apparently Mercer has absolutely no trouble reading and comprehending this page from the Ancana.

Or this Krill control panel.

I suppose I could be really generous here and propose the idea that the holographic projectors that Isaac whipped up for Mercer and Gordon also automatically translate spoken and written Krillish into English and vice-versa. After all, it's a sci-fi show with advanced tech.

Of course none of that can explain this. When Gordon rigs up a timer to crank up the lights in the Krill ship, for some reason it uses Earthly Arabic numbers.

As I said, this is something we all just need to accept and forget about so we can get on with the story.

• Some more hardcore nitpicking: Coja, a curious Krill kid, asks Mercer where humans come from. Gordon then points to a bright star outside the window. He says if Coja used a very powerful telescope and looked just to the left of it, he'd see Earth's star.

That's some pretty good star charting there by Gordon. The Krill ship is probably many, many, MANY light years from Earth, meaning all the familiar constellations are likely going to look completely different from what Gordon's used to. That means he's somehow calculated his position in the galaxy and figured out where Earth is, even though he's too far away to see it. I guess he really IS the best pilot in the galaxy!

By the way Gordon, it might not be a good idea to tell a member of an enemy race that hates all other life forms how to find your home planet. Just saying.

I wonder if that seemingly innocent little scene was a bit of foreshadowing, and will come back to bite the Orville crew in the ass?

• Mercer mentions that in their first encounter with the Krill, the aliens never took their helmets off outside in sunlight, and theorizes they may be highly susceptible to UV rays.

I went back and checked the pilot episode, and by god he's right. They take their helmets off inside the science lab, and one appears helmetless in the Orville's shuttle, but when they're outside those helmets stay on the entire time. Either way, well done!

I don't know if the Krill's aversion to sunlight was planned from the beginning, or if the writer of this episode got lucky and it just happened to work out perfectly for him.

• One last bit of hardcore nitpicking before I stop. Mercer gets the bright (heh) idea to crank up the lights inside the Krill ship, which will bathe it in UV light and "fry" the Krill.

Um... why in the name of sanity is that even possible? If you were a race that had a deadly aversion to sunlight, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EVER INSTALL UV LIGHTING INSIDE YOUR SHIP? It's like being allergic to bee venom and then wearing a hive on your head.

By the way, when Gordon said the increased UV lighting would "fry" the Krill, I assumed he meant it would cause them intense discomfort and incapacitate them. Nope! He literally meant FRY. As in cook until dead.

• Now that (almost) everyone on the Y'kar is dead, I guess Mercer can just pick up the real Ankana and hand it over to Admiral Ozawa. 

I'm kind of wondering how the Admiral's gonna react to Mercer's actions here. He wiped out an entire ship full of Krill on what was ostensibly a mission of peace. Yes, he did so to save the Rana III colony, but still... This incident probably isn't going to help the peace process.

• This Week's Incongruous 21st Century (And Earlier!) References:
There were only a couple I spotted in this episode. The biggest one of course is Avis, which is not only a 20th Century car rental company but the name of the Krill god as well. Somehow Gordon has not only heard of Avis but is intimately familiar with their marketing slogan as well! Impressive! Maybe Avis is still around in 2419 and rents flying cars?

On their way to infiltrate the Krill ship, Gordon listens to The Midnight Special by Credence Clearwater Revival.

• THIS WEEK'S JAW-DROPPING STAR TREK SWIPES THAT MAKE ME WONDER HOW LONG IT'LL BE BEFORE CBS SUES THE PANTS OFF OF FOX:
The Orville has a fire suppression system, just like the Enterprise-D did. Unfortunately the Orville's catches fire! Com-O-Dee!

Ever since the Krill appeared in the pilot they seemed familiar, but I could never quite figure out why. This week it finally dawned on me— they look amazingly like the Jem'Hadar from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The Jem'Hadar were cloned soldiers grown by the Founders, a civilization of shape-shifting aliens from the Gamma Quadrant.

The idea of crew members going undercover as members of an enemy race is nothing new, and was done many times in the various Trek series over the years. Captain Kirk was altered to look like a Romulan in The Enterprise Incident. Picard and Data did the same in Unification Part I. Counselor Troi also masqueraded as a Romulan in Face Of The Enemy. Commander Riker and Troi posed as Mintakans in Who Watches The Watchers. Riker disguised himself as a Malcorian in First Contact (the TV episode, not the theatrical movie). Worf and his human brother disguised themselves as a Boraalians in Homeward. Over on DS9, Major Kira posed as a Cardassian in Second Skin. There are probably many other instances, but those are the ones I can come up with off the top of my head.

The Orville Season 1, Episode 1: Old Wounds

It's the first ever episode of The Orville!

OK, full disclosure here: Regular readers of my blog (both of you!) may remember that I already covered this episode a few weeks ago and gave it a very scathing review. 

I won't rehash all the details, but long story short— I wasn't impressed with the series, as I was shocked and appalled by how thoroughly it aped Star Trek: The Next Generation. It went way beyond "blatant ripoff," as it literally was TNG with the serial numbers filed off. I couldn't understand how series "creator" Seth MacFarlane managed to get away with such an obvious copy. 

I decided then and there that I didn't much care for the show and wasn't going to waste my time reviewing it.

Then a curious thing happened. For reasons I don't yet understand, I kept on watching the show. I found myself warming up to it, and by Episode 3 I was actually starting to like it and care for the characters. So I started reviewing it with About A Girl. I'm now working my way backwards and retro-reviewing the first two episodes.

Old Wounds was written by Seth MacFarlane (natch) and directed by Jon Favreau.

We all know MacFarlane's credentials, so let's talk about Favreau a minute. Although he started out as an actor, he quickly branched out into writing and directing. Favreau's a perfect choice for this project, as he's no stranger to directing genre projects filled with special effects. He previously helmed big-budget projects such as Elf (the only Will Ferrell movie I can stand to watch), Zathura: A Space Adventure, Cowboys & Aliens and The Jungle Book.

He also kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe, directing Iron Man and Iron Man 2. Yes, I'm aware that Kevin Feige's the highly successful and talented architect of the MCU, but Favreau most definitely laid the groundwork for it.

Pilot episodes can often be awkward and ponderous, as the writers are still figuring out the tone and direction of the show and the actors are attempting to find their characters. It often takes several episodes before the production team hits their stride.

Not so with Old Wounds. It's the perfect pilot episode, as it hits the ground running. Somehow it manages to effortlessly set up the world of the 25th Century, as well as introducing all the main characters and displaying their personalities and quirks— while still telling a compelling story. And all in just forty four short minutes! It's actually quite impressive. Kudos to MacFarlane for writing such a competent pilot.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
It's the year 2418. Planetary Union Commander Ed Mercer comes home early to the New York apartment he shares with his wife Kelly. As he enters his bedroom, he's surpsided to see Kelly cheating on him with a blue-skinned Retepsian named Darulio. Stunned and hurt, Mercer walks out.

Cut to one year later. Mercer's now divorced and having a hard time focusing on his career. He's called to Planetary Union HQ, where Admiral Halsey (get it?) offers him the captaincy of the Orville, a mid-level exploratory ship. Mercer's elated and impressed that Halsey chose him for command. His joy evaporates when Halsey tells him there are three thousand ships in the fleet, and the Union desperately needs to fill them with captains. Any captains. 

Halsey brings up Mercer's many screw-ups over the past year, stating he was nobody's first choice. He ominously warns Mercer that this is his last chance. Mercer gleefully accepts the offer, assuring Halsey he won't let him down.

Halsey says the Orville's ready to go, but it's missing a First Officer and a helmsman. Mercer immediately recruits his best friend, Lt. Gordon Malloy, to fill the helmsman spot. Gordon's a reckless, hard-drinking, emotionally arrested man-child, but is supposedly the best pilot in the fleet.

Mercer meets with Gordon in a holodeck, er, I mean Environmental Simulator located... somewhere. On Earth, I guess? Anyway, he tells Gordon the good news about his captaincy, and offers him the job of helmsman. Gordon enthusiastically accepts.

We then see Gordon flying Mercer through the fleet yards in a shuttle. Mercer's appalled to see Gordon drinking a beer while he's piloting, and orders him to put it away. Just then they see the Orville for the first time. Mercer beams proudly at it.

Mercer assembles the entire crew in the Orville's shuttle bay and gives them an inspirational welcome speech. He then meets with his officers, including Chief Of Security Lt. Alara Kitan (a member of the Xelayan race, who all  have higher than normal strength), Second Officer Lt. Commander Bortus (from the planet Moclas, whose inhabitants are all male), Navigator Lt. John LaMarr (a laid-back human), Chief Medical Officer Doctor Claire Finn (another human) and Science/Engineering Officer Isaac (a cybernetic lifeform from the planet Kaylon-1). 

Admiral Halsey comes on board to give Mercer his first assignment— delivering supplies to the science station on Epsilon II. He tells him his new First Officer should arrive shortly and then leaves.

Mercer orders the Orville underway, and we're treated to numerous majestic and expensive SFX shots of the ship slowly pulling away from spacedock. Once it's clear, it goes to warp, er, I mean they engage the quantum drive.

Shortly afterward, Halsey sends a message saying a replacement First Officer's been found. Unfortunately it's Commander Kelly Grayson, aka Mercer's cheating ex-wife. Mercer quite rightly flips his lid and calls Halsey, demanding he undo the transfer. Halsey says that making a big stink one day into his first command won't look good, and suggests he be professional about it. Besides, he tells him that Kelly herself requested the posting herself (!).

Kelly rendezvouses with the ship and reports to Mercer's office. They immediately have a huge argument, as the bridge crew listens in. Mercer says he's dreamed of having his own command his entire life, and wants to know why Kelly's trying to sabotage it. She says she realizes she wronged him horribly and wants to make it up to him. She says she'll request a transfer as soon as a position opens on another ship.

The Orville arrives at Epsion II, where they're contacted by Doctor Aranov, a nervous man who says they don't really need supplies. When Mercer says he doesn't understand, Aranov asks him to come down to the surface so he can explain. Mercer leaves Bortus in command, and takes Kelly (why?), Alara and Doctor Finn down to the planet.

There they're greeted by Aranov, who introduces them to his assistant, Doctor Janice Lee. She demonstrates what the station's been working on— a temporal field device that can speed up time inside a quantum bubble. Aranov gushes that the device could end hunger by growing entire crops overnight. He then takes great pains to show them a tiny, genetically modified redwood seed, and says the temporal device could make it grow to full size in seconds. Mercer absentmindedly takes a handful of the seeds and puts them in his pocket. Plot Point!

Mercer's mildly impressed, but still doesn't understand why they were called. Aranov warns that the device could also be perverted into a horrible weapon, as it could age an army into old men instantly. He wants The Orville to protect the station and the device from the villainous alien Krill, who I guess are the equivalent of the Klingons in this universe.

Suddenly a lab tech named Derrick Ashton pulls out a blaster and tells everyone to freeze. Janice tries to stop him, but he shoves her into the temporal field, instantly aging her over a hundred years. Derrick radios the Krill and tells them it's time. A Krill Destroyer then comes out of warp, er, quantum space and faces the Orville.

Several Krill shuttles head down to the science station. Bortus sees the Destroyer and contacts Mercer, asking what's going on. Derrick orders Mercer to lie and say everything's OK. In the confusion, Alara rips off a piece of the wall and hurls it at Derrick, knocking him out.

The Destroyer begins firing on the Orville. Bortus shoots back, but the ship is no match for the much larger and more powerful Krill vessel.

Mercer disconnects the temporal device, and he and the others, including Doctor Aranov, make a run for a hidden corridor. Mercer's wounded by a Krill laser, and Kelly helps him along.

Meanwhile, the Orville's taking a pounding from the Krill ship. As the deflector shields are drained, Gordon says he can buy them some time by "hugging the donkey." No, it's not a sexual position, it's a maneuver in which he flies around and around the larger ship, skimming its surface and thus staying out of its weapons range. Bortus tells him to go for it.

Mercer and the others are pinned down by Krill soldiers. He hands the device to Alara, ordering her to get it back to the shuttle. She uses her superstrength to leap over the Krill and readies the shuttle for takeoff. Mercer and the others blast their way through the Krill squad, killing (or maybe just stunning?) them all.

The crew makes it to the shuttle and they're all very careful to announce they're fastening their seat belts before blasting off. Another Plot Point! Once they're in space, a Krill steps out from behind a panel (?) and orders them to hand over the device. Thinking quickly, Mercer slams on the brakes, throwing the Krill into the windshield and knocking him out. Told you the seat belts were a Plot Point!

Just then the Orville's deflectors are completely drained. The Krill fire on the defenseless ship, destroying the upper engine ring. Debris slams into the approaching shuttle, knocking out its navigational system. It spins helplessly out of control on a collision course with the Orville.

Bortus orders Gordon to align the ship's cargo bay to match the shuttle's trajectory, so they can fly harmlessly inside. Amazingly he's able to do so, and the shuttle's saved. Even more amazingly, the Krill Destroyer politely stops firing while Gordon's performing this delicate maneuver. Once the shuttle's inside, they begin their assault again, destroying the Orville's middle engine ring this time.

Mercer and the others race to the bridge. The Krill Captain hails the Orville, demanding Mercer hand over the device or he'll destroy them. Kelly tells Mercer she has an idea. She takes one of the redwood seeds from Mercer's pocket, and glues it to the tip of the temporal device. They then place it inside a shuttle and remotely pilot it over to the Krill ship.

Once the shuttle's inside, Aranov sends a signal to the device, activating it. The seed instantly grows into a fully mature redwood tree, hundreds of feet high, completely destroying the Krill ship.

The Orville limps back to Earth, where it undergoes repairs. Kelly meets with Mercer, saying a new first officer is available and she's leaving the ship. Mercer changes his mind and asks her to stay, saying that despite their differences, they still make a great team.

Later Kelly meets with Admiral Halsey in his office. She thanks him for taking her advice and giving Mercer his own command. She asks Halsey not to tell Mercer it was her idea, which I'm sure will never, ever come back to bite her in the ass.

Thoughts:
• In the original script, Mercer's name was Ed Stevens. No idea why it was changed, but I'll admit I like "Mercer" better.

• As the episode opens, we see a panoramic shot of futuristic New York City. Apparently the Statue Of Liberty is still a thing in the 25th Century. Also, I believe that's the Freedom Tower in the center of the screen. Note the many other buildings dwarfing it!

We then get a very prominent shot of the Brooklyn Bridge. I wonder if this was a subtle Star Trek homage? In the Trek films, Starfleet Headquarters is located in San Francisco. Every time the crew returns to Earth visits Starfleet, we always see a shot of the Golden Gate Bridge.

• Mercer flies home in a tiny shuttle and lands it at his apartment. Take a look behind the seat of his shuttle. Uh-oh! Looks like his little ship's got the X-Box's infamous Red Ring Of Death!

• This is some Heavy Duty Nitpicking (you'll hear that phrase a lot around here), but whatever. When Mercer comes home, he hears giggling coming from his bedroom. He then walks over and presses three buttons on the keypad to open the door.

Does that seem right? Who'd want to have to enter a keycode every time they wanted to enter their own bedroom?

See? I told you it was heavy duty!

• Mercer enters his apartment and discovers Kelly cheating on him with Darulio, a blue-skinned Retepsian. If Darulio looks vaguely familiar, that's because he's played by an uncredited Rob Lowe.

By the way, a second later Darulio spews blue fluid from his eyebrows. The implication here of course is that this is his alien splooge, and Darulio just ejaculated on network TV! How the hell did MacFarlane get THAT past the censors? Is it OK because he's an alien, and he's squirting out of his eyebrows instead of his penis?

One last thing about Darulio. As Kelly hurries out of bed and chases after Mercer, Darulio opens his mouth and emits what sounds like a quack! When he shows up later in the season in Cupid's Dagger, he speaks standard English.

I'm wondering if at this early point in the series he was just a one-off character and they had no plans to bring him back, hence his quacking? 

• Admiral Halsey offers Mercer the captaincy of the Orville. Halsey's played by actor Victor Garber, aka Professor Stein of Legends Of Tomorrow fame. I really miss him on that show, as his absence is sorely felt.

• Sorry to see that terrible office wall art is still alive and well in the 25th Century.

• When we first see Mercer, his uniform features epaulets with three bars on them. I'm assuming this means he's a commander.

Once he takes command of The Orville, he has four bars on each shoulder, indicating he's now a captain.. Nice attention to detail!

• Mercer meets Gordon in the Environmental Simulator, where he's fighting a holographic ogre in a samurai village (?). Gordon boasts that he wrote the program, and gave the ogre "a really neat personality."

Not gonna lie— I'd like to see more of Justin the Ogre, Gordon's jovial holographic sparring partner.

By the way, at the end of the scene Gordon cuts off Justin's head, and the Simulator announces, "YOU WIN!" The congratulatory voice was clearly provided by Seth MacFarlane!

• I can't help but think that the Orville greatly resembles a woman's sling-back shoe.

• Although I like the overall look of the Orville, it features one heck of a MAJOR design flaw (in my opinion, of course). In order to get in or out of the shuttle bay, pilots have to fly between the ship's massive engine rings! The middle ring is even level with the bay doors! Yikes! 

Surely there had to be a better place to put the bay.

By the way, I will be bringing up this particular point over and over during the show's run, but Old Wounds is the first time in which we see it.

• As Mercer takes command of the Orville, he addresses the entire crew in the shuttle bay. I wonder... did they really hire a ton of extras and whip up several hundred uniforms just for this one brief scene? That's pretty impressive if they did.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the first two or three rows are real people standing in front of a green screen, and the rest are a CGI crowd. 

• In the intro I praised this episode for somehow managing to establish an entire new world, introduce a slew of characters and still tell a story. 

Case in point— the scene in which Mercer reviews his officers. Not only does it effortlessly acquaint us with the crew and their personalities, but it features quite a bit of worldbuilding as well:

— Alara mentions that Xelayans don't usually join the military, because they're a planet of brainiacs. This actually becomes a plot point later on in the series.

— During the review, Bortus reveals that the Moclan race only urinates once per year. This also becomes a plot point later on.

— Also, the opening scene features Kelly having an affair with a blue-skinned alien named Darulio. Although he seems like a one-off, throwaway character, he's actually quite important, as he returns later on and is the focus of an entire episode!

• When Mercer reviews his command staff, we get a brief scene of his futuristic iPad, which contains a partial crew manifest. 

The first six names are the main cast, while the rest of the list is populated with names from the production crew. The list includes:

Laura Lamour: Chief Of Operations (who's really a prop designer on the show)
Kit Stolen: Chief Of Repairs (assistant art director)
Alex Maynard: Assistant Medical Officer (production artist)
Matt Chase: Medical Officer (costume department)
Jack Lineweaver: Assistant Science Officer (production designer)
Josh Pierce: Chief (location manager)
Linda Herrera: Medical (buyer)
Gary Rake: Repairs (first assistant director)\
Sabrina Plaice: Repairs (construction assistant)
Tony Lattanzio: Repairs (construction assistant)

• Wow, what a different an episode makes! Alara looks much more alien here in Old Wounds, as she has no eyebrows and seems to have a slightly more pronounced forehead. 

Her look completely changes in all subsequent episodes. Apparently she decided she wanted to look more like an Earth girl, so she had her forehead filed down, grew some eyebrows and went overboard on the beauty makeup!

Poor Halston Sage, who plays Alara, actually shaved her eyebrows for the pilot! Unfortunately her look was poorly received by the cast & crew, so it was decided to tinker with her prosthetics. She wore false eyebrows for the rest of the series to soften her look a bit.

• This is some hardcore scientific nitpicking, but whatever. Supposedly Alara has superstrength because her home planet of Xelaya has incredibly high gravity, causing her muscles to develop accordingly. Than means she her strength level is average on her world, but much, much higher on Earth or an Earth-like environment.

So far, so good, as this is scientifically plausible. Unfortunately in real life (!), Alara would not look like a tiny elfin girl. She'd likely be four feet wide and brimming with bulging muscles, like a female Bulgarian wrestler. Also, the longer she spends in an Earth-normal gravity, the more her superstrength will fade— unless she puts in some serious time at the gym with some major weights!

• Doctor Finn is played by Penny Johnson Jerald. She's no stranger to sci-fi, as she had a recurring role as Kasidy Yates on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. That's undoubtedly why she was cast in this series, since it apes the Trek Universe so closely.

• When we first meet John Lamarr, his only concern is whether Mercer will allow him to drink cokes on the bridge, as his previous captain did. Mercer says it's fine, as long as he keeps it under the instruments.

Later on after the ship's underway, we see John surreptitiously take a sip of coke from a futuristic cup!

• When Mercer heads to the bridge for the first time, he walks up a flight of stairs in between decks! That's definitely something we never saw on any version of the Enterprise!

Amazingly, this staircase isn't just decorative— it's actually functional! The Orville's ship sets are built on two levels— a rarity in TV and movies. The first floor contains corridors, crew quarters, Mercer's quarters and his office, the sickbay and mess hall. The second floor contains more corridors, the upper level of Mercer's quarters, the briefing room and of course the bridge.

• As the Orville leaves the spacedock, for some reason Bortus and Alara both stand at the stations directly behind Mercer. This is the only time they ever do this, as for the rest of the episode they sit at consoles to Mercer's left. In fact they use the side consoles for the rest of the series.

I'm guessing that since this was the pilot episode, the creative team was still figuring things out as they went along.

• I love the way the Orville enters Quantum Drive, as each of the three engine rings powers up before it zips off. Kudos to whoever came up with this idea. I've always wished the ships on Star Trek has some sort of powering up sequence like this.

• In the past, shows like Star Trek featured a main viewer covered with a blue or green screen. Star fields, planets and messages from angry Klingons would then be matted into the screen in post. It was a clunky and costly method, and the actors had no idea what they were supposed to be looking at on the viewer.

Not so on The Orville! The windows surrounding the bridge are actually an enormous, curved 90 foot wide hi-def LED screens! Stars and planets are displayed on the screen in real time, and the actors can now see and react accordingly. Cool!

• Here's a curious oddity— when the ship first leaves the spacedock, Mercer's chair is clearly covered in fabric, and features thin armrests with touch screens built into them.

A minute later, Gordon asks if there are any bars or strip clubs on Epsion II. Suddenly Mercer's chair is covered in thickly padded leather or vinyl!

A few seconds after that, Mercer's informed that Kelly's been assigned as his new First Officer. Sure enough, his chair's back to fabric again! And it remains that way for the rest of the episode.

As I said earlier, this is the pilot episode, so they hadn't finalized everything yet. I'm betting the scene with the leather chair was filmed early in the production, then changed to fabric later on. Who knows, maybe they discovered the leather chairs made embarrassing fart noises whenever the actors sat or changed positions in them, and hurriedly switched to quieter fabric ones!

• This episode marks the first appearance of Yaphit, the gelatinous blob voiced by comedian Norm MacDonald.

• When Kelly first enters Mercer's office, you can see a small model of a plane on his desk. That's the Wright Flyer— the first ever heavier-than-air plane. It was famously flown by Wilbur and Orville Wright. Presumably the series' ship was named after Orville Wright, though why they wouldn't christen it after his last name is beyond me.

• When Doctor Aranov first contacts the Orville, we see a beagle on a couch behind him, furiously licking its junk.

This is no doubt a nod to Enterprise. On that series, Captain Archer had a pet beagle named Porthos who lived in his quarters.

• Aranov's played by veteran character actor Brian George, who's guest starred on hundreds of TV series over the years. He's probably best known for playing Babu Bhatt on Seinfeld.

George is another Star Trek veteran, as he played Dr. Bashir's father on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and made a guest appearance as an alien on Star Trek: Voyager.

• Mercer & the others land a shuttle at the Epsilon II Science Research Facility, a large building with a sleek, futuristic design.

Oddly enough the Facility bears a very striking resemblance to the Baxter Pharmaceuticals building in Thousand Oaks, California, right here on good old 21st Century Earth!

You can see it for yourself on Google Maps! The parking lot even has those stone benches, as seen in the episode when the shuttle lands!

The Baxter Pharmaceuticals building has been seen in many, many movies and TV shows, like Demolition Man, where it played the part of the San Angeles Police Department!

It also starred as Sabre Headquarters in The Office! Have you ever tasted a rainbow? You will!

• As the crew tours the Epsilon Facility, Doctor Finn's impressed by its cavernous interior.

As near as I can tell the interiors were shot at Baxter Pharmaceuticals as well.

• During the tour, the crew walks past an alien who appears to be a member of Lt. Dann's species. In case you're scratching your head wondering where he is, Dann doesn't actually appear in this episode. He first popped up in Cupid's Dagger.

• At one point Doctor Aranov shows Mercer a dish full of generically modified redwood seeds. He points out that they've been crossed with tardigrade DNA, which makes them able to survive and grow in the harshest of conditions.

Tardigrades, or water bears as they're more commonly known, are a real thing. They're cool looking microscopic creatures that are virtually indestructible. They can survive freezing or boiling temperatures and even exposure to radiation!

Oddly enough, over on Star Trek: Discovery (which premiered around the same time as The Orville), tardigrades played a HUGE role in the overall story arc. The Discovery was powered by a "spore drive," which used gigantic, genetically modified tardigrades that could somehow instantly teleport the ship from one part of the galaxy to another. Yeah, that really happened on the show. 

Sadly, it appears that STD (as I like to call it) lifted the whole "tardigrade teleportation" concept, along with many others, from an obscure computer came created by an amateur developer named Anas Abdin. In fact the parallels were so glaring that he lawyered up and is suing CBS for copyright infringement! Good for him!

Based on the huge number of similarities with Abdin's game, I am 100% convinced that STD stole his ideas. Not so with The Orville though, as tardigrades are a very small (heh) part of the overall plot.

• Doctor Aranov finally shows the Orville crew the reason he brought them to Epsilon II— the Temporal Field Device (aka the Aranov Device, aka the Time Cone). Get used to it— it pops up over and over again in the series, and plays a huge part in the Season 2 finale.

• Doctor Lee uses a banana to demonstrate how the Temporal Field Device works. Hmm... for decades now scientists have been warning us that the banana's in imminent danger of becoming extinct. Looks like they're still alive and well in the 25th Century!

• This is some even more hard core nitpicking, but here goes.

Doctor Aranov touts the benefits of the Temporal Field Accelerator, claiming it could heal life-threatening wounds in an instant. Sounds like a beneficial side effect, eh?

But wait a minute... that's not how the Accelerator works! That's not how it works at all!

Doctor Lee herself confirms this when she explains, "Captain Mercer, this banana is suspended in a quantum bubble that can be adjusted to accelerate time. Out here only a few moments have passed. Inside the bubble, it's a month in the future."

That means the banana didn't skip over a month and instantly become rotten. It still experienced every single second of those thirty days— just very quickly.

That means it'd be useless for treating life-threatening wounds. The patient wouldn't be instantly healed— they'd still have to fight off infection and experience debilitating pain as their injuries healed over a period of weeks. It'd just happen faster. Meaning they could still die from their wounds!

Told you it was hard core!

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-orville-2017&episode=s01

• Janice Lee is killed (com-O-dee!) when a traitorous lab tech named Derrick pushes her into the temporal field, causing her to age a hundred years in a second. Doctor Finn examines Lee's body and says she's now over 125 years old.

I'm not nitpicking here, just spitballing. In the TNG pilot episode Encounter At Farpoint, Doctor McCoy made a cameo appearance and was still going strong at the age of 137. Presumably this means medical science in the TNG universe advanced to the point where human life expectancy is twice what it is now.

Based on Janet's untimely death, it seems like residents of The Orville universe must not live as long as TNG citizens. Or maybe they do, and the shock of aging a hundred years in a second killed poor Doctor Lee. Now that I think about it, that's probably the answer. I'm betting that only the parts of her body directly in the field aged, while the rest of her remained twenty five. That'd be enough to kill anyone!

By the way, when Janice is pushed into the beam, her body ages but her clothes remain unchanged. Shouldn't her outfit have aged as well? Or do 25th Century fabrics never wear out?

• So what was Derrick's deal? He betrays the station (and the Union) by attempting to hand over the Temporal Device to the Krill. But why? What was in it for him? I guess it's none of our business, as we never see him again after Alara knocks him out.

• When the Krill Destroyer arrives, the Orville finds itself hopelessly outmatched by the bigger ship. Gordon manages to save the day by "hugging the donkey," meaning he flies the Orville so closely around the Krill ship it can't fire on it.

The thing is, it looks like Gordon could have saved himself a lot of effort by just parking the ship underneath the Destroyer and hiding out there!

• I like the design of the Krill quite a bit. They look a little like the Jem'Hadar from DS9, but with some space vampire thrown in for good measure.

In the original version of the pilot script the Krill didn't have their deadly aversion to sunlight — that came later when David A. Goodman wrote the episode Krill. The producers then re-edited this episode to outfit the Krill with helmets whenever they were in direct sunlight. Sneaky!

• Mercer & the others race through the Facility to escape from the Krill. They round a corner, but are stopped by a sealed bulkhead. Mercer tries to open it, but it's locked tight. He looks to Alara and says, "You want to open this jar of pickles for me?" She takes a few steps back, leaps at the door and knocks it completely through the wall.

This is the first ever instance of the "pickles" line, which Mercer will repeat many times during the series.

• At one point Mercer & Co. reach a dead end and decide to make a run for the shuttle:

Mercer: "All right, get ready."
Kelly: "Doc, stay behind Alara."
Aranov: "Which one's Alara?"
Alara: "Oh, I'm Alara."
Aranov: "Sorry, still learning names."

Ha! I love this scene! He just met these people a few minutes ago, so it makes perfect sense he wouldn't know who they all are yet. Plus it highlights the typical TV trope that all characters automatically know and remember everyone's names.

• So what happened to the rest of the staff on the Epsilon II Facility? When the Krill attack, Doctor Aranov hops in the shuttle with the Orville crew and hightails it the hell out of there.

Aranov never once mentions his colleagues, nor does he seem upset about the fact that he left them all to fend for themselves against the deadly Krill troops. Lucky for the scientists that the Krill didn't think to hold them all hostage in exchange for the Temporal Device.

• Mercer & the others fight their way through the Krill soldiers and make it back to their shuttle. As they blast off, Mercer orders them all to fasten their seat belts— something no one ever does again for the rest of the series. 

Of course the reason he makes a point of telling everyone to buckle up is to set up the gag in which he slams on the shuttle's brakes (?), which causes the Krill soldier to fly forward and knock himself out on the windshield.

By the way, you can tell this show's set in the 25th Century because the seat belt buckles light up when fastened!

• Shortly after the shuttle takes off, a Krill soldier magically appears from behind a panel and demands they hand over the Temporal Device. I'm still trying to figure out where he was hiding inside the tiny shuttle. The alcove in which he's hiding looks to be barely a foot wide. Plus how did no one notice him when they walked past him?

• Once Mercer and the others are back on the Orville, the Krill Commander threatens to blow up the ship unless they surrender  the device to him. For some reason this particular Krill's eyes feature glowing white pupils (you may have to zoom in to see them). It's a cool effect, but it's never seen again in any subsequent episodes.

• This episode begins another long-standing tradition on the series. As Mercer and Kelly prepare the Quantum Accelerator, we see a shuttle in the background labeled "SCV-197-1." You can't tell from this still, but they're carrying the Accelerator into a second shuttle just out of range at the right of the screen.

One would think this second shuttle would probably be numbered "SCV-197-2" or something like that, to help tell them apart, right?

Wrong! The shuttle that's sent over to the Krill ship is ALSO labeled SCV-197-1.

This will happen over and over and over in subsequent episodes. I honestly can't tell if this is a production error, or if the creators decided they didn't want to keep track of shuttle designations and just said, "Eh, give 'em ALL the same number."

• So the Orville crew attaches a redwood seed to the Temporal Accelerator & sends it to the Krill ship. They remotely activate the device, causing the redwood to grow to its full height in the space of a second, which completely destroys the Krill vessel.

Wait... I know Doctor Aranov said the redwood seed was crossed with tardigrade DNA, so it could survive any environment. So that explains how it's existing in the vacuum of space. But how the hell is it growing without soil, nutrients or water of any kind? Is the tardigrade DNA handling that as well?

• This Week's Incongruous 21st Century (And Earlier!) References:

Despite the fact that The Orville takes place some four hundred years from now, the crew seems intimately familiar with 20th & 21st Century pop culture. I'm assuming this is to help  make the characters and situations more relatable to us. Anyway, here're the references I noticed.

Kelly cheats on Mercer with a blue-skinned alien named Darulio. Mercer refers to the alien as Papa Smurf.

Soft drinks still exist, as John sips a Coke on the bridge.

Derrick holds Mercer hostage, and tells him to contact the Orville and tell them everything's fine. Mercer calls the ship and says they're having a pizza party, which is apparently still a thing.

• THIS WEEK'S JAW-DROPPING STAR TREK SWIPES THAT MAKE ME WONDER HOW LONG IT'LL BE BEFORE CBS SUES THE PANTS OFF OF FOX:
I already went through The Orville's many, many, many similarities with Trek in an earlier post, so there's no point in repeating them all here. I did spot a couple of additional swipes when I rewatched the pilot for this review though, so I'm listing those here:

— As the Orville gets underway, we're treated to a series of beauty shots of the ship leaving the spacedock. In particular we see it sail past a shuttlebay door, and rise majestically in front of a group of spacewalking astronauts who wave goodbye.

Note that we saw virtually identical shots of the Enterprise in at least two of the Star Trek theatrical films!

— As the Orville clears the space dock, we get an overhead shot of the ship, looking down through the upper dome and into the bridge. If you look closely you can actually see Mercer and the others sitting at their posts. It's a pretty cool shot.

In The Cage, the very first Star Trek pilot episode, there's a similar shot of the camera peering down into the bridge of the Enterprise. There's no doubt in my mind that the flyby in The Orville was an homage to the shot in The Cage.

By the way, this Cage shot admittedly looks a bit creaky now, but bear in mind it was filmed way back in 1964!

— Mercer and the others attempt to dock their shuttle with the Orville while it's under attack by the Krill Destroyer. Unfortunately the shuttle's struck by debris, knocking out its navigational system. In order to save the shuttle, Gordon expertly lines up the rear of the ship into the shuttle's path, so it flies safely into the bay.

A similar situation happened in the dreadful Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, as Kirk & Co. flew a shuttle at top speed into the Enterprise's bay while it was under attack by a Klingon ship.

— I'm probably reeeeeeeally reaching with this so-called similarity, but whatever. The Orville crew wear color-coded uniforms denoting their departments. Blue = Command, Green = Science & Medical, etc. Notice that the Red (Security) and Orange (Operations & Engineering) uniforms are pretty close in color. In fact in certain scenes it's hard to tell the two colors apart.

In The Cage again, command officers wore gold shirts, while the ops & engineering crew wore peach-colored tops. The two colors were nearly indistinguishable, especially on old school picture tube TVs. In fact it wasn't until sometime in the 1990s that I realized there were peach colored uniforms!

As I said this is likely a stretch, but is it possible The Orville's color similarity was a very obscure nod to the uniforms in The Cage?

• This Week's Best Lines:
Admiral Halsey: (to Mercer) "Look, the truth is, you're nobody's first choice for this job. But we have 3,000 ships to staff, and we need captains. We're giving you one last chance."

Mercer: "Look, I- I know Gordon has his issues, but we all know there's nobody who can drive a starship like him."
Halsey: "Didn't he once draw a penis on the main viewing screen of outpost T85?"
Mercer: "He's drawn a lot of penises on a lot of things, but, Admiral, if you were caught in an ion storm, who would you want at the helm?"

Mercer: (reviewing his officers) "All right, uh, Lieutenant Commander Bortus, our second officer. You know, I've never met a single-gender species before. Your entire species is male, isn't it?"
Bortus: "That is correct, sir."
Mercer: "So, there's probably not a lot of arguments about leaving the toilet seat up and that kind of thing, right?"
Bortus: "No. Moclans urinate only once per year."
Mercer: "Really? That's... me, I'm-I'm up two, three times a night."
Bortus: "That is unfortunate."
Mercer: (sadly) "It is."

Gordon: "I've never been to the Epsilon Science Station. What's it like?"
Bortus: "Epsilon 2 is an outpost devoted exclusively to scientific inquiry.
Mercer: "Researchers from all over the galaxy petition to work there."
Gordon: "Really? Wow. Any good bars?"
Bortus: "I will investigate."
Mercer: "No, Bortus, you don't have to investigate that."
Bortus: "I have already obtained the information."
Mercer: "Oh."
Bortus: "Shall I withhold it?"
Mercer: "No, you can tell us."
Bortus: "There are no bars."
Gordon: "How about strip clubs?"
Mercer: "Gordon."
Gordon: "Sorry."
Bortus: "There are no strip clubs."

Derek: "Put down that comscanner and drop all your weapons now."
Mercer: "Listen, I don't know what you're trying to..."
(Derek fires at a computer next to Mercer.)
Mercer: "Okay, okay, relax."
Derek: "Move."
Doctor Aranov: "Derek, what the hell are you doing?"
Mercer: "Oh, of course it's a Derek."

Gordon: (Seeing Krill fighters speed toward the Epsilon station) "God, there's no way we're gonna be out by 5:00 today, are we?"

Gordon: "Sir, since I pulled that off, can I please wear shorts to work?"
Bortus: "I've already said no."

(The Krill Commander appears on the viewscreen and demands the time device.)
Mercer: (to Krill Commander) "Sorry, right, yeah, sorry. I'm a little distracted lately. I just got out of a rough marriage, and it's been a difficult time. My wife had an affair.
Kelly: "Oh, my God. Are you really bringing this up right now?"
Mercer: "I'm trying to keep him talking, so I can buy us some time."
Kelly: "Oh, okay. In that case, you know what? You're an objective third party. Are you married?"
Krill: "What?"
Mercer: "Oh, my God, you're ac... you're bringing him into our..."
Kelly: "No, I'm just buying us some time. Let me ask you something. Do you make an effort to balance your career with your home life?"
Krill: "A marriage is work."
Kelly: "It takes work, right? Compromise."
Krill: "On both sides, yes."
Kelly: "And if you didn't make that effort, would you be surprised if your wife sought comfort in the arms of another?"
Krill: "No, that would be selfish."
Mercer: "No, that would be se... Yeah, yeah, 'cause both of you are complete friggin' saints.
You know what? I don't have to sit here and listen..."
Krill: "ENOUGH!"

(Mercer says, "Happy Arbor Day" right before he destroys the Krill ship with a giant redwood.)
Gordon: "What's Arbor Day?"
Mercer: "It's the holiday where you plant the trees."
John: "I wouldn't have got that."
Gordon: "Oh, yeah. No, I didn't get that, either."
Mercer: (to Kelly) "You knew what Arbor Day was, right?"
Kelly: "I mean, actually, I had to think a second. Kind of confusing."
Mercer: "Nobody knows what Arbor Day is?"
Bortus & Alara: "No."
Aranov: "I knew."
Bortus: "I do not."
Mercer: (to Kelly) "What would you have said?"
Kelly: "I would've said, 'You got wood."
Gordon: "Yeah. Yes."
Mercer: "Yeah, that is better, isn't it?"