Life With Max Update: Max VS The Dentist

I'm currently babysitting my friend's dog Max for three weeks (you can read all about it in the first entry here). Here's a photo of Max sitting patiently with his hands folded, as if he has something important to tell me.

So how's Life With Max working out? So far so good! He hasn't had any accidents yet or torn up anything valuable (knock wood), and he's been very well behaved. 

There was a slight problem the first few days he was here, as Max makes a damned good alarm clock. For some reason he'd come into my bedroom at ever earlier hours each morning and lay his head on my bed and stare patiently at me until I woke up. First it was 6:30 AM, then the next few days it was 4AM! I have no idea why he did this, or what he wanted. He didn't have to go outside, and he had plenty of food and water. I don't know what was so special about the hour, but he'd do it every morning at precisely 4 AM. Maybe there was some sound in the house that occurred at that time each day and woke him. Or maybe he was bored, or decided he'd slept enough, I dunno. 

I do know that I hadn't slept enough at that hour, so I'd tell him to knock it off and go back to bed. Happily he seems to have stopped his nocturnal romps.

I mentioned before that Max's genetic makeup is somewhat vague and in question. As near as we can tell he's a boxer mixed with… something else. As a result, Max has a few… well, let's call them quirks.

One of those oddities is his fang. It doesn't happen all the time, but occasionally when he shuts his mouth, this weird snaggletooth gets hung up on his rubbery upper lip gasket and protrudes from his jaw. Much like a cartoon bulldog! Hey, maybe that's what his mystery half is— bulldog!

It's actually kind of cool, like he's trying to look like a tough guy. A tough guy who's afraid of plastic skeletons and barks at scary leafs. Maybe he's making his tough guy face to try and scare away the ghosts inhabiting my house?

If You Have To Ask...

I saw this on the interwebs this morning: a hard-hitting news piece asking if flossing is necessary.

Note that it's from BBC.com. You know, BBC as in England. Pip-pip, tally ho, wot's all this then? That BBC.

Man, the jokes are writin' themselves today.

Now With The Fresh Taste Of Chocolate!

This week industry giant Crest announced it's planning to release a new line of "adventurous" toothpastes (whatever the hell that means) in various oddball flavors, including chocolate. Yeah, I said chocolate.

Because when I want my mouth to have that just brushed fresh feeling, the first thing I reach for is a candy bar.

In addition to Chocolate Mint, Crest is also releasing Lime Spearmint Zest and Vanilla Mint Spark flavors. 

Novelty flavored toothpastes are nothing new, but so far they've been offered only to kids. I believe this is the first time they've been marketed to adults.

Proter & Gamble, the parent company of Crest, is banking on these uppity new toothpastes to bring in fresh customers and bolster their shaky bottom line.

First of all, the home dental care industry seems like a low-growth market to me. I'd bet that pretty much everyone who's interested in brushing their teeth is already doing so. People who don't brush probably don't have teeth. So it's not like there's much of a demographic left to shoot for, chocolate flavoring or not.

Second... call me old and set in my ways, but chocolate toothpaste? Has it really come to this? Have we Americans grown so fat and sedentary that the only way to get us to brush our damn teeth is to bribe us with chocolate?

We're very near the end of civilization.