The Orville Season 1, Episode 11: New Dimensions

This week's The Orville was a very good episode, even if the 2D realm looked a little too much like the backgrounds in TRON.

Actually I was much more impressed with the character development and interactions in this episode than I was with the effects. I especially liked the subplot in which Mercer discovers Kelly helped him become captain of the Orville. This of course shakes his confidence, resulting in some damned good writing as both he and Kelly make legitimate points concerning the situation.

That said, there were some plot oddities, as if felt like we saw the same two or three scenes over and over again. Kelly spoke with Mercer about John at least twice, she spoke with John about assigning him to the science team a couple times, and Mercer and Kelly had the same circular argument in two or three scenes. What is this, Rashomon? I'm assuming the episode must have come up short, so they had to repeat some scenes to fill out the runtime?

This was primarily a John LaMarr-centric episode, and it's about time. His character definitely needed a boost, as so far he was the least developed crew member on the show. Hell, up to now Yaphit was a better developed character! John definitely came off much better this week than he did in his previous spotlight episode, Majority Rules. In that one he seemed like an irresponsible and simpleminded jerk, and one had to wonder how the heck he ever became a bridge officer.

The only downside to John's promotion in this episode is how it'll affect his friendship with Gordon. The two of them make a good comedy team, so I'm afraid to see the show physically break them up. 

John's promotion also seems like some epic trolling on Seth MacFarlane's part, as it feels like he's just daring CBS to sue him at this point. More on that below.

Lastly, this is the penultimate episode of the season, as Fox, in their infinite "wisdom," has cut the show count from thirteen to twelve, so they can air some stupid-ass Xmas special in The Orville's time slot. Be sure and let Fox know what you think of this idiotic decision!

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
We begin as the Orville crew's throwing a party for Chief Engineer Newton, who's leaving to help design a new space station. Meanwhile, Gordon and John play a practical joke on Yaphit. Somehow they removed a piece of his gelatinous body without him knowing it, and placed it on the buffet. They watch anxiously to see how long it'll take him to notice.

Yaphit leaves the party and reports to Sickbay, where he tells Doctor Finn he's not feeling well. When she asks what's wrong, he says he feels like part of him's missing, but he doesn't know where he could have lost it. He says when a piece of his body's removed, it has a dim bit of self awareness. He says he can sense the piece is in a dark, wet place.

Just then Bortus enters and says he's experiencing "digestive discomfort." Yaphit realizes that Bortus inadvertently ate part of him at the buffet and reaches down his throat with a tentacle to retrieve it. Com-O-Dee!

Cut to Gordon and John in Kelly's office, as she scolds them for their stupid prank. She says Yaphit's furious and is considering filing formal charges against them. She tells them she'll try and smooth things over with him, but she's placing formal reprimands in both their records. As she calls up John LaMarr's file, she notices something odd.

Kelly meets with Mercer and shows him the file. According to Union records, John's actually the second smartest person on the ship, right after Isaac! Wow. That seems unlikely, especially after his antics back in Majority Rule. Kelly says she wants to offer the Chief Engineer position to John. Mercer's skeptical, saying John might have the brains for the job, but definitely not the leadership skills. Which is absolutely true.

Just then the ship's rocked by an unknown force. Mercer and Kelly race to the bridge, where Isaac says the ship's skimmed a "quantum wake," whatever that is. Contact with it has thrown the lower engine ring out of alignment, temporarily stranding them. Mercer orders Isaac to scan the area for anomalies and begin repairs. Kelly suggests that John help Isaac. Mercer reluctantly approves.

Isaac and John scan the ship and detect unusual readings inside an unoccupied crew cabin. When they investigate, they find all the plants in the room are dead. Isaac and John report to the Captain, but have no explanation as to why the quantum wake would kill plants.

Kelly meets with Mercer again, and asks if he's made a decision about the Engineering position. He says he's promoting Yaphit, who has the necessary experience and is next in line. Kelly begs him to reconsider. Mercer says they don't even know if John would want the job, as he doesn't seem all that ambitious. She suggests letting John head the analysis team that's investigating the quantum wake. Mercer agrees and assigns John. Wait... didn't we just see this scene?

Kelly says it's part of her job to assemble the best possible crew for the ship. Mercer says her instincts are usually pretty good, so who knows? John may work out after all. Kelly then sticks her foot in her mouth and says, "Hey, you wouldn't be sitting there if I..." She stops herself mid-sentence, but it's too late.

From her faux pas, Mercer figures out that Kelly must have Admiral Halsey into giving him his own command back in Old Wounds. She says all she did was put in a good word for him because she thought he deserved a chance, and wanted to make up for cheating on him and sending him into a downward spiral.

Mercer's furious with her, and rightly so. Kelly tries to smooth things over by saying he'd have gotten his own command eventually anyway, but Mercer says they'll never know. He dismisses her and broods. He calls Admiral Halsey and asks if it's true. Halsey says yes, Kelly did make a case for him, but that he's more than proved himself worthy the past few months. Halsey says there's no doubt in anyone's mind that Mercer deserves his own command. "Except mine," says Mercer.

Kelly then meets with John, and asks him to explain why he doesn't take advantage of his exceptional smarts, and why he has no ambition. He says he likes to keep his life simple— go to work, come home and drink till he passes out. She tells him she's putting him in charge of the science and engineering teams that are investigating the anomaly. Once again, it feels like we already saw this scene.

On the bridge, Isaac detects a Horbalak smuggler's ship entering the area, and says it's about to run into the anomaly. Mercer hails the ship to warn them, but the Horbalak Captain ignores him. His ship enters the anomaly and somehow becomes two dimensional for a few seconds, before returning to normal. Mercer tries to contact the ship again, but there's no answer.

Mercer, Kelly, Alara and Doctor Finn take a shuttle over to the Horbalak ship, and find the Captain dead of cardiac arrest. Alara discovers he was smuggling Krill plasma rifles. Mercer says the Krill will likely be rendezvousing with the Horbalak ship soon, and they need to repair their engine so they can leave the area pronto.

Back on the Orville, Kelly tries to apologize to Mercer. He says because of her, he's going to second guess every command decision he makes from now on. She reminds him that he helped Gordon get his navigator post, so what's the difference? She says the entire crew and even the admirals all believe in him. He says that may be true, but he may not have gotten a chance in the first place without a handout from his ex-wife. Wow. Another duplicate scene.

Yaphit then enters Mercer's office, furious that he chose John to lead the science team instead of him. He reminds Mercer he's much more experienced than John, and was next in line for a promotion. He then accuses Mercer of being racist toward gelatinous life forms and slithers out.

Meanwhile, John's unsure of how to command the science team. Gordon suggest breaking the ice with a lame trick involving gumdrops. John tries it the trick with the team, but it's a huge disaster, especially when Yaphit snipes at him. He angrily tells the team to get to work. John then notices something odd about the readings, and contacts Mercer.

In the conference room, John explains that the anomaly is actually a doorway that leads to a bizarre two dimensional universe, one that contains width and length, but absolutely no height. Doctor Finn says that would explain the Horbalak's death, as no lifeform could survive going from 3D to 2D and back again.

Bortus calls from the bridge, announcing that three Krill destroyers are rapidly approaching. Isaac says it'll take at least another hour to repair the engines, which will leave them sitting ducks for the enemy Krill. John gets an idea— he says it might be possible to generate a quantum bubble around the Orville, enter the 2D realm and hang out there until the Krill get bored and fly away. The bubble should protect them and keep them three dimensional. Mercer tells him to go for it.

John goes to Engineering to work on generating the quantum bubble. Unfortunately the field strength's not high enough. Yaphit offers a suggestion as to how to increase it, and John praises his smarts, saying it just might work. Hey, he may turn out to be a good leader after all! John tells Mercer they're ready, and he generates a bubble around the Orville. The ship then slips through the doorway into the 2D realm a second before the Krill ships arrive.

Inside the realm, the crew's amazed by what they see— a vast, two dimensional world that looks a lot like the backgrounds from the movie TRON. They see thousands of energy pulses moving along the surface, and Isaac says they may be 2D lifeforms. Gordon says the bubble's stable, so Mercer orders the ship to wait inside until the Krill leave.

While they wait, Kelly talks with Mercer about their recent tiff. She says he's being a "prideful ass" about her recommending him, and that nobody goes through life without a little help from others. This is true. He says he realizes she's right, but he has to work things out for himself. This is also true.

Just then the ship's rocked again, as the quantum bubble begins destabilizing and threatens to flatten them all. Mercer orders Gordon to return them to normal space, but unfortunately the doorway into the anomaly has closed up for some reason. Even worse, all the engines are now completely dead. They're now trapped in the 2D realm, with a faulty quantum bubble that's going to collapse in twenty one minutes.

John says he may have another idea. Sensors show a fluctuation four thousand kilometers away that might be another portal back into normal space. He suggests using a shuttle to tow the ship over to it. The only problem is the shuttle will have to leave the boundary of the quantum bubble, meaning it— and anyone inside— will be flattened. John says he should be able to rig up a bubble inside the shuttle, so the interior remains 3D while the exterior is 2D (ouch, my head hurts!). Mercer tells him to make it so, er, I mean get to work.

In Engineering, John helps the team prep the shuttle. He overhears them badmouthing Yaphit, blaming him for their current situation. John finally steps up as a leader, saying he won't tolerate anyone belittling another member of the team, as it was his decision to enter the 2D realm. The team members look shocked and get to work.

Mercer and John volunteer to enter the shuttle and tow the ship out. As soon as the shuttle passes the bubble's boundary, it flattens into two dimensions. Luckily the field inside somehow holds, keeping the men in 3D. The effect's a bit jarring though, causing John to vomit several times. Mercer tells John that if they get out of this alive, he'll happily give him the Chief Engineer spot.

The field inside the shuttle begins fluctuating, causing the men great physical distress. John revs up the shuttle to full speed, to get them out before it collapses completely. Amazingly, the shuttle successfully tows the ship out of the anomaly and back into 3D space.

Later on Mercer apologizes to Kelly for being an ass, and thanks her for helping him get his command. John enters Engineering, and Yaphit actually congratulates him. John tells his team if they can increase engine efficiency by 97%, they can knock off early and get drunk. His crew cheers and gets to work.

Thoughts:
• The best part of this episode was undoubtably Mercer's crisis of confidence, and Kelly's attempts to convince him he was a good captain. 

As expected, Kelly's good deed from Old Wounds blew up in her face, as Mercer inadvertently discovered she'd put in a good word with Admiral Halsey to get him the captaincy of the Orville. This of course enrages Mercer, who assumed he'd gotten the job on his own merits. It also makes him start second guessing every command decision he makes.

I especially loved this exchange between the two of them:

Kelly: "Can I be honest with you?"

Mercer: "Of course."

Kelly: "I want you and I to be okay. But you were being a prideful ass."

Mercer: "What are we, in a Jane Austen novel? I'm a 'prideful ass?' Why? Because I want to be self-reliant? Because I want to feel like I got where I am alone?"

Kelly: "I don't know if your two-dimensional perception leaves any room for this concept, but nobody does anything alone. We all have people who help us along the way. Sometimes we know about it, sometimes we don't. But it doesn't take a damn thing away from you."

That's an amazing bit of writing there from Seth MacFarlane. The best part about it is I can definitely see both points. I totally understand why Mercer would want to feel he got the captain seat by himself. What man wouldn't? But Kelly's right as well. We all rely on other people to get where we are. It's a pretty interesting conversation.

Who knew the guy who created Family Guy was capable of such depth?

• Fun Fact: Actor J Lee, who plays John LaMarr, actually started out as a receptionist!

Lee was born in St. Louis, and after graduating from Indiana University in 2005, he headed for LA with $200 to his name. Shortly after arriving, he got a job as the receptionist at the Family Guy production office! Over time he became good friends with Seth MacFarlane, who invited him to karaoke nights with the writing staff.

MacFarlane later began using him as a voice actor on American Dad! and The Cleveland Show. Lee than decided he was becoming "too comfortable" in MacFarlane's empire (?) and went out on his own, struggling to write and produce his own projects.

MacFarlane later rehired him, this time as a writer for The Cleveland Show. When The Orville came around, MacFarlane offered him the part of John LaMarr, and the rest is history.

• Gordon and John's practical joke involved removing a piece of Yaphit's gelatinous body and placing it on the buffet, where they hoped someone would eat it. The episode very deliberately blurs over just how the hell they accomplished that.

I guess maybe they somehow sneaked up behind him and sliced off a little piece of him? One would think he'd feel that happening. I like to think I'd feel it if someone cut a piece off of my ass! Does this mean Yaphit can't feel anything?

And how would they sneak up on him in the first place? Yaphit doesn't have any eyes. He can obviously still see or sense his surroundings somehow though, since he never bumps into any doors or anything. I assume he has some sort of rudimentary optical cells inside his body, or maybe every part of him can just sense his surroundings somehow. If that's true, then there's no way Gordon and John would have been able to approach him from any direction without him "seeing" them.

As I said, the episode wisely skips over the mechanics of just how they managed to pull off this particular prank.

• Chief Newton, we hardly knew ye! I guess this is the last time we'll ever see him on the show.

• I don't have anything to say about this disturbing image, other than that Moclans must have a reeeeeeally strong anti-gag reflex.

• After the Orville scrapes against the anomaly, the lower engine quits working. This means they can't go to quantum speed until they can get it fixed. This also leaves them sitting ducks as three Krill ships rapidly approach.

OK, I get that they can't engage the quantum drive without all three engines, but why does everyone act like the ship's incapable of any motion whatsoever? Surely they could have used the two functioning engines to limp away at low speed and get away from the Krill. Heck, back in the pilot episode the Orville managed to make it back to a starbase after TWO of the engines were completely destroyed!

Sometimes I think Seth MacFarlane's so busy he forgets what he's already established.

• When Kelly's discussing John's braininess in her office, take a good look at the framed artwork on the wall behind her head.

It's the Escape album cover from Journey!

Apparently Kelly's a huge Journey fan, as unlikely as that seems in the 25th Century. Back in Cupid's Dagger we saw her singing Any Way You Want It, and now she's decorating her office with the group's album art!

By the way, I'm compelled to point out that Any Way You Want It doesn't appear on their Escape album— it's from Captured. Maybe she just likes the Escape cover art a lot.

• Once again, the prosthetic makeup in this episode is amazing. It's so nice to see aliens who actually look alien, rather than like humans with bumpy foreheads (sorry, TNG!)

• Over on the various Trek series, the characters often mention the fact that the Federation no longer uses money in the 24th Century. Unfortunately they're pretty vague as to just how this works. How does the Federation's economy work? If there's no money, do people still have jobs? I doubt it, as no one in their right mind would work without some kind of compensation. Without jobs, who's sweeping up the trash?

Apparently The Orville's Union doesn't use currency either. But unlike Trek, MacFarlane chooses to explain just how such a moneyless society would work. When Kelly's trying to convince John he should put his smarts to work, they have the following conversation:

Kelly: "Lieutenant, have you ever studied the history of money?"
John: "Not really. I know people used to use it to buy houses, and sandwiches and stuff."
Kelly: "Exactly. It became obsolete with the invention of matter synthesis. The predominant currency became reputation."
John: "Yeah, so?"
Kelly: "My point is, human ambition didn't vanish. The only thing that changed was how we quantify wealth. People still want to be rich, only now rich means being the best at what you do."

Wow. That's... that's actually an amazingly concise and simple explanation as to how a society without money would actually work! People wouldn't need to toil to accumulate wealth, they'd simply work to constantly better themselves!

Why the hell didn't any Star Trek series ever explain it this well? TNG came close in The Neutral Zone when Picard said, "People are no longer obsessed with the accumulation of things. We've eliminated hunger, want, the need for possessions." But that was about it.

• After Mercer puts John in charge of the science team, Yaphit enters his office and files a grievance. OK, I get that Yaphit was upset about being overlooked, but his comments went WAY over the line. Mercer could've charged him with insubordination and been completely justified.

• Something was seriously wrong with Isaac's eyes this week. It didn't happen in every scene, but several times during the episode one of his eyes was higher than the other (you may have to click on the image above to see it). I'm assuming there must have been some problem with his helmet, and that he wasn't trying to simulate raising one eyebrow.

Speaking of the Isaac costume, I've always assumed his eyes were just illuminated circles glued to the inside of a translucent metallic helmet. Apparently not! There are a couple of closeup shots this week in which you can clearly see his eyes are actually half spheres! Weird!

• So far I've been pleasantly surprised to see that the series is treating Yaphit as a regular character. When he first appeared in Old Wounds, I assumed he was just a visual gag who'd never be seen again— especially since a CGI character such as him is probably pretty time-consuming and expensive to render.

MacFarlane must have a soft spot for the little blob though, because he's appeared in almost every episode, and has become a well-defined and integral member of the crew!

The same goes for Dann, the bulbous-headed alien who first appeared in Cupid's Dagger. Again, I figured he was just a one-off character created for a bit, and we'd never see him again. It looks like he's sticking around as well, and may actually be part of John's Engineering team.

Dann of course is played by actor, writer and comedian Mike Henry, who voices many characters over on Family Guy, including Cleveland Brown, Herbert, Bruce and Consuela.

• There were tons of trippy visuals in this episode, particularly when the Horbalak ship enters the anomaly and becomes two dimensional as it flies into it.

Same goes for when the Orville's shuttle left the quantum bubble and became 2D.

I'm not even gonna try and figure out how the exterior of the shuttle was 2D, while the interior remained 3D because it was surrounded by another quantum bubble!

• Still not a fan of the 2D realm, as I think it looks more like an illuminated circuit board or a TRON background than it does an alien universe.

• When I first saw the two dimensional realm, I immediately thought of the book Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott. A few minutes later, Mercer actually mentioned it! He goes on to describe the book to Kelly, saying, "It was a story written in the 1880s, about a two-dimensional society of shapes. The more sides they had, the higher the social status. The triangles were the workman class, the squares were the gentry, the circles were the most respected of all. It was a metaphor for inequality."

Mercer's description actually makes the book sound pretty interesting. Let me save you some time and tell you it's not. I remember being bored stiff by it, and it was a real slog to get through the whole thing. Do yourself a favor and memorize his summary, then skip the actual book.

• When we see the Orville inside the 2D realm, it's a three dimensional object intersecting by a completely flat plane with only width and length. I assume that means the center of the ship is plowing right through dozens of flat cities and neighborhoods. I wonder how many 2D lifeforms the ship inadvertently killed?

• This episode contains a hunk of nonsensical technobabble that'd put TNG to shame. In fact it's such a blatant homage to that show, I burst out laughing when I heard it:

Isaac: "Field stability is now at 68%."

John: "That's still not enough."
Yaphit: "John, what if we couple the quantum phase inducers to the deflector grid? It might beef up the strength of the bubble."
John: "How the hell is that supposed to hold?"
Yaphit: "If we match the deflector amplitude to the quantum wave function, it should compensate for any field instability."
John: "I like when you talk dirty."

If I didn't know better, I'd think that was Geordi LaForge speaking there!

• In order to save the Orville, John suggests using a shuttle to tow it out of the 2D realm. That's a pretty good plan. Unfortunately the shuttle will have to leave the protection of the quantum bubble, which will endanger the life of whoever's piloting it. That's not such a good plan.

Why does someone have to be inside the shuttle in the first place? Can't they pilot the shuttle by remote? Even better, how about extending the bubble a bit in the front to envelope the shuttle?

• Looks like Seth MacFarlane's a fan of Stranger Things! When the quantum bubble starts to malfunction, the crew's momentarily flattened, which causes everyone to get nosebleeds— but oddly enough, only out of one nostril!

Take a close look at the shuttle window next to John here (you may have to click on the image to see it better). There's a frit band around the edge of the glass, just like on a car!

What the hell's frit, I hear you asking? You've probably noticed it on your own car windows, and wondered why it's there. Supposedly the halftone-like frit pattern is etched into the glass to help give the window adhesive something to hold onto. Because knowing is half the battle!

• OK, this is some very, VERY picky nitpicking, but whatever. Once the Orville makes it back into 3D space, Kelly asks Gordon what their position is. He replies "348 mark 914." 

Yeah, that's not the way that works. At least not if the Orville's coordinate system works the same as the one in all the various Trek series. The "number mark number" system refers to the ship's heading, not its position inside the galaxy. It means where it's going, not where it is. I can't think of any way that system could indicate what region of space the ship's in.

As for how the heading system works, imagine the ship is surrounded by two perpendicular circles, each divided into 360 degrees. The horizontal circle indicates the azimuth, and the vertical one the elevation. The heading, or bearing, is given as two numbers separated by a "mark." The first number is the horizontal direction, while the second is the vertical. With me so far?

So a bearing of 0 mark 0 would be straight ahead. "0 mark 30" would mean that again the ship's flying straight ahead, but at an upward angle of 30º.

Since there are only 360 degrees in each circle, Gordon's vertical bearing of 914 is nonsensical and impossible.

See, I told you it was really nitpicky!

• This Week's Incongruous 21st Century (And Earlier!) References:

When discussing how to get the ship out of the 2D realm, the crew has the following conversation:

John: "I think we could create a stable quantum bubble inside the shuttle, and preserve three-dimensional space."

Doctor Finn: "So, the outside would be squashed, but the inside wouldn't."

Mercer: "More space inside than out, like Doctor Who's phone booth."

Kelly: "Or Oscar the Grouch's can."

John: "Or Snoopy's doghouse, yeah."

At the end of the episode, Kelly finally convinces Mercer he's worthy of command, saying, "It's not the feather, Dumbo. It's you." Apparently they still watch Disney movies in the 25th Century.

• THIS WEEK'S STAR TREK SWIPES:
Boy, were there some a lot of them, including one so major and blatant I can't believe they got away with it.

On TNG, Data the android had a cat he "hilariously" named "Spot." He got the cat in order to try and understand the bond between humans and animals or something. In this episode, Gordon asks if anyone would object if he got a "bridge cat." He then suggests Isaac get one as well to understand the bond between humans and animals.

In the TNG episode Pen Pals, teen cadet Wesley Crusher was put in of a science team studying an unstable planet. Because the team members were all much older than him, they constantly second guessed him and questioned his decisions. Eventually he learned to put his foot down and order them to carry out his commands, which makes them respect him. In this episode, John's put in charge of a science team, and due to his experience they constantly second guess him and question his decisions. Eventually he learns to put his foot down and orders them to carry out his commands, which makes them respect him.

In the TNG episode In Theory, the Enterprise-D was trapped in a field of dark matter pockets that threatened to destroy the ship. Worf suggested using a shuttle to help guide the starship around the pockets and out of the danger zone. For some reason, Captain Picard volunteered to pilot the shuttle. In this episode, the Orville's trapped in the 3D realm with no engine power. John suggests using a shuttle to tow the ship back into normal space. For some reason, Captain Mercer volunteers to help pilot the shuttle.

And now, I present to you the granddaddy of all Star Trek swipes!

In Season 1 of TNG, Geordi LaForge was the Enterprise-D's helmsman. In Season 2 he was promoted to Chief Engineer. Geordi was also black.

In Season 1 of The Orville, John LaMarr is the ship's helmsman. Near the end of Season 1 it's discovered he's the second smartest person in the entire crew, and he's promoted to Chief Engineer. Like LaForge, John is also black and has a last name starting with "La."

WOW! I honestly don't know what to say about this. It HAS to be intentional on MacFarlane's part. There's no way in hell it could be coincidental. It's almost like he's trolling CBS here, seeing just how far he can push things before they finally threaten him and Fox with a massive lawsuit!

• This Week's Best Lines:
Ed: "Report!"
Bortus: "We've dropped out of quantum drive, Captain!"
Ed: "What the hell just happened?"
Gordon: "No idea. Maybe we hit a squirrel or something."
Isaac: "There is no evidence of any Sciuromorpha Rodentia, or other mid-sized rodent."

Marcus: "We got out of school early because of the bumps. You wanna go to the simulator and play Space Dragons?"
Isaac: "I am currently occupied."
Ty: "What are you doing?"
Isaac: "I am preparing to run a scan on the section of the Orville that came into contact with the anomaly."
Marcus: "Can we help?"
Isaac: "No. You are small and feeble, and you do not possess the necessary intelligence."
John: "Wow. Why don't you just give 'em wedgies and stuff 'em in a locker wile you're at it?"

Mercer: (discussing the dead plants found in the crew quarters) "They've been watered, right? Like, do we have a plant guy?"
Kelly: "Palovis. He's the lizard-looking guy in the science section."
Mercer: "Is that his name? God, I can never remember that guy's name. I see him coming in the hall and he's always like 'Hey, good morning Captain," and I'm always like, "Heyyyy, there he is!"

Gordon: "Hey, would anyone mind if I got a cat?"
John: "What?"
Gordon: "For the bridge. Like a... bridge cat."
Bortus: "What is... a cat?"
Gordon: "Oh, it's an Earth pet. A little furry thing with whiskers. It might warm the place up a little."
Alara: "I think that would be really great."
Isaac: "How would the presence of such a creature improve bridge operations?"
Alara: "It's not about that. Animals are just fun to have around. It's unconditional love, you know?"
Isaac: "I do not. Please. Elaborate."
Gordon: "It's just companionship. You cuddle with it, stroke its fur. Humans bond with animals that way. You should try it sometime. It'll help you understand us."
Kelly: (over intercom) "Grayson to Lt. LaMarr, report to my office."
John: "Great, what did I do now?"
Gordon: "Good luck!"
(Gordon then looks down to see Isaac stroking his forearm)
Isaac: "Are we bonding?"

Blavaroch: "What do you want?"

Mercer: "Your course is about to take you directly into the path of a spatial anomaly we've discovered. We recommend you change your heading immediately."

Blavaroch: "Grahj-kalooga."

Mercer: "Anybody speak Horbalak?"

Isaac: "The direct translation is 'You can shove it up your..."

Mercer: "Okay, got it, got it." 

Isaac: "Do you wish to hear the rest of the translation?"

Mercer: "No, no, I-I get the gist. Listen, what's your name?" 

Blavaroch: Blavaroch. 

Gordon: "God, that generation has so many Blavarochs."

Yaphit: "It's 'cause I'm gelatinous, isn't it? You guys can't handle the thought of a gelatinous person in charge of a department."

Mercer: "Yaphit, that is not it."

Yaphit: "This is so racist, man, you're so friggin' racist."

Mercer: "I am not, I have several gelatinous friends." 

Yaphit: "This is a bunch of crap, man. This is total crap. Permission to return to duty."

Mercer: "Granted."

Yaphit: "You know what? There was less crap in Bortus's colon."

John: "Tell everybody something interesting about yourself." 

Dann: "I love refinishing antique furniture. The texture, the grain. It's like it has a life of its own. Sometimes I can't tell where I end and the wood begins. Also a big brunch guy. Banana walnut pancakes? Mouthgasm!"

Isaac: "Lieutenant, if I may make an observation, you seem ill-suited to perform your assigned duties." 

John: "Yeah, that's what I tried to tell Commander Grayson." 

Isaac: "Then why did she place you in command?" 

John: "She says it's 'cause I'm smart." 

Isaac: "I would be happy to inform her that you are not."

Isaac: "I have no experience processing this kind of data, but I believe we may be looking at a two-dimensional civilization."

Finn: "Two-dimensional life-forms? How is that possible?"

Mercer: "Is there any way we can communicate with them?"

Isaac: "Negative. Our modes of existence are incompatible."

Mercer: "Then get every bit of scanning data you can. Union physicists will be writing papers about this for decades."

Kelly: "Well, if we can't talk to them, at least we can watch."

Gordon: "Wait, so, does that mean that there could be fourth or fifth dimensional people watching us right now?"

Isaac: "It is possible."

Gordon: "But do you think I mean, they wouldn't, like watch us all the time, right?"

Isaac: "I do not know."

Gordon: "I mean, do you think, like, could they see under a blanket, or in the sleeve of a down coat?"

Mercer: "Gordon, I don't know what you're driving at, but I'm gonna go ahead and change the subject."

Mercer: "Excuse my bluntness, but why do you hide your brains?"

John: "The colony where I'm from was brand new, lot of farmers, lot of builders. They didn't trust anyone who was too much of an egghead. You'd be surprised how fast you can alienate people when you're always right. I wanted to be liked, accepted. Just became habit, I guess."

1982: The Best Summer Blockbuster Season Ever!

Summer, 1982. One of the greatest blockbuster seasons ever at the cineplex. There were an amazing number of sci-fi and fantasy movies released during that period, all of which have gone on to classic or cult film status. Some of the most important directors of our time released their best work during that magical period. Whether it was the stars aligning just right in the cosmos or just a random confluence of studio schedules, the Summer of 1982 was a great time to be a movie lover!

I saw every one of these films in the theater back in 1982 and it just doesn't seem possible that it's been a whopping thirty years since they were released.

It seems silly to issue a Spoiler Warning for a bunch of three decade old movies, but... consider yourself warned!

Blade Runner
Released June 25, 1982.

It's hard to believe now, but director Ridley Scott's Blade Runner was considered a disappointment when first released, pulling in a scant $6 million in its opening weekend. Of course today it's become a cult classic and is considered one of the greatest sci-fi movies of all time.

• Part of its box office failure is no doubt due to the E.T. juggernaut, which ruled the box office and destroyed all competition that summer. A good hunk of the blame though has to lie with Warner Bros. marketing campaign. Blade Runner is a slow paced, thoughtful and intelligent science fiction film, so of course the studio had absolutely no idea what to do with it. I can still remember seeing the trailer for the film; it was a minute and a half of outright deceit, packed full of every flying car shot, explosion and fist fight they could scrape together in a flailing attempt to sell it as an action movie. 

• The hyper-detailed future noir look of the film is still a huge influence movies to this day. Countless films over the years have ripped off, er... paid homage to the futuristic cityscapes of Blade Runner.

• This was the first time Hollywood ever filmed one of the works of noted sci-fi author Phillip K. Dick (based on his story Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?). Dick was reportedly leery of having his work adapted (a legitimate concern), fearing they'd dumb it down or gut it completely. Ridley Scott invited Dick to have a look around the set and he reportedly approved of what he saw. Sadly, he died shortly before the film was released. In the years since, Hollywood has adapted eight or nine more of Dick's stories, with varying degrees of success.

• So how did the movie get to be called Blade Runner instead of the aforementioned Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? Eh, it's complicated. The short version: Ridley Scott and screenwriters Hampton Fancher and David Peoples were discussing the script and decided that a man who hunts down and "kills" androids in 2019 probably wouldn't be called a detective, so they needed a new term. Fancher suggested the term "Blade Runner," which was actually the title of a William Burroughs book called Blade Runner: A Movie. Ridley Scott liked that term so much he suggested they use it as the title as well (since Do Androids yadda yadda is a bit long to be a good movie title). They contacted Burroughs (in what must have been one of his rare lucid moments), and being a big fan of Philip K. Dick, sold them the rights to the name.

• Many people insist that a Blade Runner curse exists. When creating the crowded city streets of 2019 Los Angeles, the filmmakers constructed dozens of neon signs using the logos of many then-current companies. Over half of the firms seen in the film have gone out of business since the film's release, including Atari, Cuisinart, Pan-Am and Bell Telephone. Personally I think the curse theory is bunk. C'mon, the movie came out thirty years ago. That's plenty of time for an incompetent CEO to run a company into the ground without involving a curse.

• One thing that's always bothered me about the movie: It's set in the unimaginably far off year of 2019. Even in 1982 is was painfully obvious that none of the circumstances or technology shown in the movie could ever possibly come to pass in thirty seven (and now a mere seven!) short years. The movie features flying cars, mile-high megacities, androids indistinguishable from humans (and animals) and worst of all, off-world space colonies! Would it have killed them to have placed it in 2119?

• There've been a whopping SEVEN different versions of the film so far in theaters and on home video, each with different music scores, soundtracks and even endings. That seems a bit excessive, even for a classic.

Cat People
Released April 2,1982.

A stylish and violent film about sexy were-panthers and a remake of the 1942 film of the same name (so remakes aren't anything new to Hollywood).

• Starring Malcolm McDowell and Nastassja Kinski as long-lost siblings who just happen to be able to turn into panthers when they have sex and can't change back again unless they kill. You don't have to be a psych major to figure out that metaphor.

• Good: Lots and lots of naked Nastassja Kinski. Bad: Way too much naked Malcolm McDowell as well. Also Bad: McDowell gets a little too incesty during the film for my tastes. Maybe I shouldn't judge too harshly. When you turn into a panther during sex, your choice of partners is going to be limited.

• Features a great soundtrack including the David Bowie song Cat People (Putting Out Fire).

Conan The Barbarian
Released May 14, 1982.
The film that introduced Arnold Schwarzenegger to America (and the world) and made him a star.

• Director John Millius was interested in filming the movie but dropped out due to some disagreement (money). Other parties became interested and the Conan screenplay was written by Oliver Stone of all people (!). Yeah, that Oliver Stone. Unfortunately his script would have cost an estimated $40 million to film (in 1982 dollars, which would be about $100 million today). No studio wanted to touch such an expensive project, so the script sat dormant for a while until it caught the eye of Milius again. This time he agreed to direct it after modifying the script to make it more cost effective (cheap) to film.

• Milius preferred using in-camera effects and optical illusions rather than elaborate post production special effects. 

• Since artist Frank Frazetta's powerful and energetic paintings are undoubtedly responsible for the popularity of Conan, you might wonder why he didn't have anything to do with the film. It wasn't for lack of trying on the part of the filmmakers. They tried to get him to sign on, but unfortunately they couldn't come to a contract agreement (money). They ended up going with Ron Cobb as production designer instead. Cobb had just recently finished design work on ALIEN and had done concept work for Star Wars.

• Critics of course completely missed the point of the film and blasted the violence and gore, which is the entire reason to make a Conan movie in the first place. Their whining forced Milius to tone down the violence and cut out several scenes (including shots of the decapitated head of young Conan's mother). 

• Film critics also denounced Arnold's acting and especially his accent, saying it was fortunate he only had a couple of pages of dialog. Arnold supposedly went through extensive speech training for the film, rehearsing each of his lines hundreds of times. I'll leave it to the viewer to decide if that was enough.

Don't feel too bad for Arnold though. The film gave his career an incredible boost and he likely wouldn't be where he is today without it. 

•The film gave us Conan's memorable line: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women!"

• Believe it or not Arnold actually lost weight for the role (!). Director Millius thought Arnold was a little too bulky for the part and wanted Conan to appear more "lean and athletic." 

• Incredibly Arnold wasn't the studio's first choice to play Conan. Producers allegedly considered Charles Bronson (!) and Sylvester Stallone for the part. OK, Stallone, maybe. But Charles Bronson? Eh, you gotta remember, this was the 1980s and the cocaine flowed freely throughout Hollywood. Also considered was the lesser known actor William Smith, who ended up playing Conan's father in the film.

• The success of Conan The Barbarian led to a virtual tidal wave of sword and sorcery clones at the box office (including The Beastmaster and Ator, The Fighting Eagle, both also released in 1982). Naturally few (if any) of these copycat films had the impact of the original.

• In 1982 the producers of Conan sued Mattel, claiming their Masters Of The Universe action figures violated the Conan copyright. Mattel was able to prove that the toy line had been conceived as early as 1980 and won the case.

E.T. The Extraterrestrial
Released June 11, 1982
THE box office champ of the Summer of 1982. Everywhere you turned that year it was E.T. this and Elliot that.

• I was a little long in the tooth to be in the film's target demographic when it was released, but I still enjoyed it for the most part.

• Unlike most films, E.T. was shot pretty much in chronological order. This was done to help the mostly all-child cast with their performances.

• The film was originally titled E.T. And Me, which is interesting as a few months later there was a poorly-made cashgrab clone called Mac And Me.

• Of course you know the story of the candy controversy: Universal Studios wanted to use M&Ms candies in the film, but when Mars executives saw the E.T. puppet they thought it was so horrifyingly ugly that they said no to any product placement deal. This would turn out to be one of the more bone-headed business decisions of the century. The Hershey Company allowed Universal to feature Reese's Pieces in the film, which gave the candy and the company an incredible boost.

• By the end of its theatrical run it had grossed $359 million... in 1982 dollars! At one point Director Steven Spielberg was reportedly earning $500,000 a day from his share of the profits (!).

•  There was serious talk of a sequel for a while but ultimately Spielberg nixed the idea, saying it would dilute the power of the original. Good for Steven.

• Harrison Ford made a cameo appearance as Elliot's school principal. Spielberg ended up cutting the scene from the film, fearing that Ford's presence would be "too distracting."

• In 1982 Atari hurriedly released a video game based on E.T. which is widely considered to be one of the worst games of all time.

• In 2002 Spielberg took a page from his pal George Lucas and rereleased the film with some digital enhancements. Many scenes of the E.T. puppet were now replaced with a CGI version. The most notorious change came near the end of the film, in which Spielberg replaced a group of FBI Agent's guns with walkie-talkies (cuz even the sight of guns is bad, dontcha know). This change was universally reviled and mocked. 

Fortunately Spielberg later came to his senses. He placed both versions on the DVD (unlike George Lucas who smugly states that his "new and improved" versions of the Star Wars films are the only ones that exist) and has said he'll never tamper with any of his finished films again. Again, good for Steven.

Poltergeist
Released June 4, 1982.
A genuinely scary PG movie and one that had audiences running for their dictionaries to see what the hell the title meant.

• Directed by Tobe Hooper and produced and co-written by Stephen Spielberg, who was having quite a summer that year.

• Supposedly a contract clause prevented Spielberg from directing any other movies while he was in preproduction for E.T., therefore he tapped Hooper to direct the film.

• Although Hooper was always credited as the defacto director, recent interviews with cast and crew have revealed that Spielberg was present on set for all but three days, created extensive storyboards of scenes and was more or less the film's true director.

I have absolutely no problems believing these reports. This is most definitely a Spielberg movie, as his fingerprints are all over every scene. The idyllic suburban setting, the bustling household, the bright lights shining into the camera, the lens flares, the camera zooming from across the room into the actor's faces, the endless shots of people gazing in open mouthed wonderment at something incredible... if that ain't Spielberg I'll eat my hat.

• Notable as one of the few films in history to accurately depict thunder and lightning. In most movies you see a flash of lightning and instantly hear a thunderclap. This is incorrect. Thunder is always heard after lightning, the length of time varying depending on your distance from the storm. Poltergeist gets this exactly right.

• One of most whispery movies in film history. There's an interminable stretch in the middle of the movie where the chief paranormal investigator is telling the family her theory of the afterlife, the universe and everything. The entire sequence lasts a good fifteen to twenty minutes and the entire time the characters are whispering to one another in barely audible tones, forcing the audience to lean forward and strain to pick up snippets of the dialog.

• There's also supposedly a Poltergeist curse, as several people involved in the film have met with seemingly early deaths. Some blame this curse on the fact that the production used real skeletons in the film's climax instead of more expensive plastic ones (why would real skeletons be cheaper than... never mind). Again, I have to call bunk. When you're dealing with a group of people as large as a Hollywood film crew it's just a matter of statistics and probability that some of them are going to die (and in one case, be murdered) earlier than others.

• By the way, the Freeling family's dog, E. Buzz, is apparently named after Saturday Night Live character E. Buzz Miller, played by Dan Ackroyd. Miller was the sleazy host of a public access TV show who reviewed famous classical paintings, usually in a lascivious manner. For example, he would pronounce the name of the artist Titian as "TIT-ian" rather than "TISH-an." In the movie universe, I wonder who gave the dog that name? Hopefully not one of the kids!

• Another bit of trivia: When Steven Freeling first visits with the ghost hunters, he says his wife Diane is thirty two and their daughter Dana is sixteen. Looks like the Freelings started their family early, when Diane was only sixteen!

The Sword And The Sorcerer
Released April 23, 1982

A violent and convoluted low budget Sword & Sorcery epic that in some ways out-Conans Conan The Barbarian.

• The movie earned $39 million at the box office ($167 million adjusted for inflation) making it one of the most profitable independent films of 1982.

• The highlight of the film: When star Lee Horsely, dressed in naught but a loincloth, fights the villain with a sparking sword. The reason the swords erupted in sparks when they touched? Because they were rigged up with a million volts of electricity, that's why. Those weren't special effects, the damned electrified swords really did spark every time they touched. Can you imagine? Who would agree to such a thing? Think about all the things that could have gone wrong in that scene. One little slip and you'd fry. Especially when all you're wearing is a skimpy loincloth.

• There was a fatal accident during the movie. Stuntman Jack Tyree, dressed as the demon Xusia, was to leap off the side of a tall cliff and land on airbags below. Something happened during the stunt and he missed the bag, which killed him instantly. Supposedly the shot (well, the beginning of it anyway) is in the actual film. 

• Features lots of good old fashioned Sword & Sorcery nudity, which of course was integral to the plot. You know, that's something you just don't see much at the movies these days. Where has all the nudity gone? Why were we more advanced in 1982 than we are today? What happened to the world?

• Be sure and watch the end credits to see this caption: Watch for Talon's Next Adventure  Tales of the Ancient Empire coming soon. Whoops! 

For many years this caption was a source of amusement and mirth in the geek community, as fans would think, "Maybe this is the year." Incredibly, it finally happened. In January of 2012 Tales Of An Ancient Empire, described as a "sequel in spirit," was released directly to DVD, only thirty short years after the original.

The Thing
Released June 25, 1982
A grim, violent and extremely gory remake of the 1951 film The Thing From Another World. 

• The original movie is often abbreviated to just The Thing. The 1982 movie is called simply The Thing as well. And the 2012 prequel/remake is also called The Thing. That's three movies with the exact same title. That shouldn't be confusing when you're ordering from Amazon. Well done, Hollywood.

• I have to confess that I didn't think very highly of the movie when I first saw it in the theater. Maybe it was the dark and demoralizing tone, but it just didn't connect with me. Thankfully when I watched it on home video a few years later I was finally able to appreciate it for the classic that it is.

I wasn't the only one who wasn't initially a fan, as The Thing performed poorly at the box office. I firmly believe reason for this is that the movie was ahead of its time. Audiences just weren't ready for such shocking images and hopeless, nihilistic storytelling in 1982 (This was, after all, the shiny happy summer of E.T.). Fortunately for the film our sick and depraved world has worn us all down to the point where we can now welcome it with open arms.

• Unlike the original film, this one features no females in the cast. Well, with one exception. MacReady's chess computer is voiced by Adrienne Barbeau, who was at the time the wife of director John Carpenter.

• Exterior shots were filmed in British Columbia in sub-freezing weather. The interior scenes were filmed in Los Angeles on super-cooled sets.

• The third collaboration between John Carpenter and star Kurt Russell (the first two being the TV movie Elvis and Escape From New York). Russell appeared in two more Carpenter films after this one, Big Trouble In Little China and Escape From L.A.

• Makeup artist Rob Bottin created some truly jaw dropping effects for the film that have never been rivaled to this day. The whole heart attack sequence, in which a victim's head sprouts spidery legs and scuttles across the floor still amazes me after all these years. And it's all the more incredible because it was actually happening live on the set, and not a CGI generated sequence. It's a textbook case for the superiority of practical special effects.

• Incredibly the brilliant and gifted poster artist Drew Struzan painted the iconic poster in just one day! According to Struzan the studio called him and ordered the poster with the understanding that they needed it the next day. The studio didn't even have a design in mind. Struzan agreed to paint the poster, dressed himself in a parka while his wife took reference photos and went to work. He was just finishing up as a courier came to pick up the poster the next morning at 9 am. Amazing!

• Supposedly Carpenter's film editor suggested he film a "happier" ending, just in case. Unlike the original ending in which MacReady's fate is left ambiguous, this "happier" ending would have seen him rescued by chopper and be proven human by blood test. Ultimately Carpenter nixed this alternate ending and it's never appeared as a supplement on any home video release.

TRON
Released July 9, 1982
The first major motion picture to feature extensive computer animated sequences, and the grandaddy of modern CGI.

• TRON features some amazing artistic talent. French comic artist Moebius was the set and costume designer and artist and industrial designer Syd Mead designed most of the vehicles in the film (He was also a production designer on Blade Runner).

• There are only about fifteen to twenty minutes of actual computer animation in the entire film, usually involving vehicles of some kind (such as the Light Cycle battle).

• The human-like "Program" characters were not CGI, but were created by shooting live actors on black and white film and using back-lit animation to create the glowing lines in their costumes.

• TRON's CGI effects are all the more amazing due to the state of the art at the time. Back in the early 1980s there were no GUI or desktop interfaces as we have today. Every one of the parts of each vehicle was designed and animated mathematically. For example, to create a square, the animators had to input X, Y and Z coordinates for each corner into the computer system. They repeated this process until they had a computer model of the object in question. 

To animate these models they then had to tell the computer (again, by typing instructions) to move it from one set of coordinates to another. There was no way to see the results of their work until it was output to film the next day. Very often they'd then see that a Recognizer sailed through a wall or two light cycles passed through one another and would have to go back and adjust the coordinates and try it again. Mind boggling!

• If you look closely you may notice some discrepancies in the color scheme of the movie. The original plan was for "good" characters to have yellow colored lines and "evil" characters to have blue.

Halfway through the filming the creators changed their minds and went with good = blue and evil = red. Unfortunately several sequences had already been filmed with the old color scheme and it would have been too costly and time consuming to change them. This is why during the Light Cycle battle the blue good guys are driving yellow, orange and red colored cycles while the red bad guys ride blue ones. Confusing!

• The film wasn't a hit and performed just so-so at the box office. It's easy to understand why— in 1982 there were no home computers, no internet and the vast majority of the public didn't know a computer from a food processor. The movie certainly looked good, but audiences just didn't understand what the hell was going on. In fact many of the actors in the film have stated they didn't understand the script at the time either.

Of course now TRON is considered a classic and has inspired hundreds of filmmakers to become computer animators. Without TRON there would be no Pixar movies, no Lord Of The Rings films and no Avatar.

• I've heard some modern wiseacres describe the old costumes as cheesy. I heartily disagree. 

Take a look at the old costumes next to those from last year's sequel / remake. When I look at the old costumes and see all the little circuit lines I instantly think, "That looks like the human personification of a computer program." When I look at the new costumes I think, "Meh, looks like some guy wearing sexy European motorcycle gear." Mock the classic costumes if you must, but at least they got the point across.

Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan
Relased June 4, 1982.
The movie that saved Star Trek.

• After the lackluster box office performance of the dull and soporific Star Trek The Motion Picture, Paramount was reluctant to bankroll a sequel. They were finally talked into making another film but only if the budget was slashed considerably and the script ramped up the action.

Fortunately for us the movie was a hit. If it had flopped, there wouldn't have been any more sequels and who knows, there may never have been a Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager or Enterprise. Hmm... no Voyager you say? Oh well. You've gotta take the bad along with the good.

• Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry took it upon himself to write a script for the sequel. In his story a group of Klingons use the Guardian of Forever (a time machine in the form of a giant stone donut) to travel back into Earth's past and prevent the assassination of JFK, thereby altering history. 

This turn of events caused the crew of the Enterprise to go back in time to set things right— by making sure JFK dies after all. This effectively turned our Starfleet heroes into presidential assassins (!). Paramount wisely rejected this script (thank the Maker!) and yanked Roddenberry off the project, making him some sort of "executive consultant," a position in which he could do no harm.

• Ultimately the producers delved into Trek's past and came up with a script that once again pitted Captain Kirk against Khan, his evil nemesis from the Original Series. Khan was powerfully played by Ricardo Montalban, and you can read my thoughts on his performance here.

• Leonard Nimoy originally declined to return as Spock, feeling he'd done all he could with the character. He eventually agreed (read: was offered a truckload of money) to reprise the role, but only if Spock was killed off at the end.

After Wrath Of Khan wrapped, Nimoy decided playing Spock wasn't so bad after all and expressed a desire to return in any potential sequels, which probably caused lots of face-palming on the part of the screen writers.

In early drafts of the script Spock died in the first act, but ultimately his death was (quite rightly) moved to the end of the film.

• The character of Lt. Saavik (played by Kirstie Alley) was intended to be half Vulcan, half Romulan. This would help explain some of her emotional outbursts during the film (as Vulcans suppress and never display their feelings). Unfortunately a line of dialog explaining her dual heritage was edited from the film, causing viewers to assume she was a full Vulcan and leaving her uncharacteristic emotionality unexplained.

• At the beginning of the film Lt. Saavik is taking the Kobayashi Maru exam, a very elaborate command aptitude test. In it, the Enterprise is patrolling near the planet Gamma Hydra and receives a distress call from a civilian ship. This ship has suffered engine trouble and has drifted into the Klingon Neutral Zone. Saavik then has to decide whether to abandon the civilians or rescue them by entering the Neutral Zone, which could start at war. 

Saavik decides to enter the Neutral Zone and reduce the ship, triggering a response from a squadron of Klingon ships that attack the Enterprise. As the simulated situation deteriorates before her eyes, Saavik is advised to pray, because "Klingons don't take prisoners."

Several things here. In the Original Series the planet Gamma Hydra was near Romulan space. The Romulans were also the ones who had a Neutral Zone. Prior to this movie there was no Klingon Neutral Zone. Lastly, it was established that the Romulans were the ones who didn't take prisoners. 

It's pretty obvious that in the original script the Kobayashi Maru test featured the Romulans, but at some point before filming they were changed to Klingons without bothering to alter the references in the script. Why they did this, I have no idea. Possibly because the Klingons have traditionally been more popular than the underused Romulans. The most likely reason though is probably budgetary. Paramount already had footage of attacking Klingon ships that they could reuse. If they'd stuck with Romulans they'd have had to build a brand new model ship.

Honorable Mentions from the Summer of 1982 (probably not classics, but worth a look nonetheless):

• The Beastmaster
• Basket Case

• Creepshow
• Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

• Firefox
• Friday The 13th: Part III

• Megaforce
• Rocky III
• And of course the timeless classic, Zapped!