Thursday, October 3, 2013

Nipple Threat

I've been re-watching Season One of Community all this week. If you've never seen it I highly recommend it. Stop reading right now and go watch it on your favorite video transmitting device.

Anyhoo, there's a story arc in which the Britta character is casually dating a guy named Vaughn. He's a hacky-sack playing hippy type who rarely wears a shirt and there's a running joke on the show about how he has extremely tiny nipples.

Here's a shot of Vaughn sans shirt from the episode The Politics Of Human Sexuality. As you can see, his nipples are pretty darned small.

Naturally I assumed that this is just the way the actor was born, and once they saw the size of his nipples they wrote that fact into the show.

But take a look at another take of the same scene from the blooper reel. Suddenly Vaughn has normal, human-sized nipples. Ones that fall well within the normal bell curve for adult man-teat sizes. What the heck's going on here?

The only answer I can come up with is that Vaughn really has normal sized nipples and some poor schlub at a CGI effects house in LA had to sit at his computer and shrink them in every frame in which they appeared. Hey man, good gig!

"Hey Joe, did you hear? I just got hired by ILM to work on the new Star Wars movies!"

"That's awesome!"

"So what are you working on these days?

"Um... I'm working on some TV show."

"Oh yeah? Which one? Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Under The Dome? The Walking Dead

"Uh, no. It's Community."

"Community? Huh. That's a good show, but I wouldn't think they'd need any CGI. Whaddya do over there?"

"Uh... I um... shrinkaguysnipples."

"What's that?"


"Dude, I can't hear what you're saying."

"I SAID I SHRINK A GUY'S NIPPLES, OK? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? YEAH, I SIT THERE ALL GODDAMNED DAY AND SHRINK HIS NIPPLES IN EVERY. SINGLE. SCENE. I've got nipples com in' out of my butt, man! I've seen so many nipples I'm startin' to dream about 'em!"

"Yeahhhh. OK, so I'm gonna go over here now and pretend I'm looking at my phone."

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