Monday, June 30, 2014

This Week In Star Trek News: Roberto Orci

Now that J.J. Abrams is off ruining directing Star Wars, the fine folks over at Paramount need someone to step up and destroy helm Star Trek 3. But who could they find for such an important job? Someone with plenty of experience in handling large casts and tons of special effects, right?

Wrong. This week they tapped none other than surly Trek screenwriter Roberto Orci, who's never directed a film in his life.

In a recent interview, Orci announced that in this third Trek outing the characters "will be closer to their television incarnations than in previous films."

I have a horrible feeling that when Orci says "closer to their television incarnations," he's talking about the Third Season. It's the only thing that makes sense. You mark my words.

Orci went on to say, "The first two films – especially the 2009 film – was an origin story. It was about them coming together. So they weren’t the characters they were in the original series. They were growing into them and that continues on in the second movie." 

Apart from employing some appalling grammar, did we really need a two film origin story? Is there anything about these characters – who everyone already knows inside and out – that needed to be stretched out over the course of two separate movies? No. The answer is no.

But Paramount didn't ask me what I think, so they're going with Orci, who will no doubt pump out another subpar film that inexplicably grosses hundreds of millions of dollars, and hammers the final nails into Star Trek's coffin lid. 

Mark my words – it's gonna be about singing Space Hippies.

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