Wednesday, September 11, 2019

It's Official: Star Wars Is Dead

There was a time— not all that long ago— when every toy and department store had an entire Star Wars AISLE, packed on both sides with hundreds of action figures in various scales, dozens of ships and vehicles, toy light sabers and more. Seriously, an entire aisle!

That time is now past.

This is what the Star Wars section currently looks like in every store in my hometown. A spot two feet wide, filled with a few forlorn and unwanted figures (most of which are on clearance) and lots and lots of empty pegs.

If you look closely there at the pitifully small selection of Star Wars figures, you'll see one of Supreme Leader Snoke front & center. Hard to believe he'd be a peg-warmer. After all, what kid wouldn't want an action figure of a withered old man (I think?) in a gold lamé gown?

Jesus, what the hell happened? Many are quick to blame videogames and smart phones, saying they've replaced toys for most modern kids.

I don't think that's true though, as this particular store had large and robust sections of Marvel Legends and Fortnite figures. Kids are still buying and playing with toys. They just don't give two sh*ts about Star Wars.

Congratulations, Disney. With your misguided handling of the franchise, you've succeeded where the Empire failed. You have officially killed off Star Wars once and for all.

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