Monday, April 12, 2021

Flagged Post (January Through April 2021)

A few years back I used to post this piece every time there was a mass shooting. Not to be funny, or disrespectful to the victims, but to point out the insanity that's infected our country. 

Eventually I stopped posting it. Partly because it was just too damned depressing, but also because I couldn't f*cking keep up. If I posted it every time a mass shooting happened, that's the only content there'd be here.

I'm reviving it today though because the past two weeks have been exceptionally crazy. There've been at least two or three mass shootings every week for the past three months. 

In fact I looked it up today and there've been an astonishing 147 mass shootings so far in 2021. And it's only April 12th. Jesus Jetskiing Christ On A Cracker! How is that even possible? To make things even worse (if that's possible at this point), today's only the 102nd day of the year. That means there've been quite a few "double shooting" days in there.

But eh, who needs gun control. Thoughts And Prayers, amirite?

DATELINE: Cleveland, Ohio–– In response to overwhelming consumer demand, this week the American Association Of Decorative Hardware And Fixtures announced it's making a fundamental design change in all flagpoles. Beginning immediately, all poles manufactured in America will be designed to display flags at half mast only.

Sid Silverbaum, President of the Association, said, "We got a lot of feedback from various groundskeepers, patriots and elderly veterans from around the country, all of whom are exhausted from constantly having to trudge out to their poles and lower their flags to half mast every two to three days. Frankly it just doesn't make sense to make poles that display flags all the way at the top anymore."

According to Silverbaum, the new Half-Master® brand poles will be in stores by the end of the year, just in time for the latest mass shooting or Independence Day, whichever comes first.

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