Flagged Post (January Through April 2021)

A few years back I used to post this piece every time there was a mass shooting. Not to be funny, or disrespectful to the victims, but to point out the insanity that's infected our country. 

Eventually I stopped posting it. Partly because it was just too damned depressing, but also because I couldn't f*cking keep up. If I posted it every time a mass shooting happened, that's the only content there'd be here.

I'm reviving it today though because the past two weeks have been exceptionally crazy. There've been at least two or three mass shootings every week for the past three months. 

In fact I looked it up today and there've been an astonishing 147 mass shootings so far in 2021. And it's only April 12th. Jesus Jetskiing Christ On A Cracker! How is that even possible? To make things even worse (if that's possible at this point), today's only the 102nd day of the year. That means there've been quite a few "double shooting" days in there.

But eh, who needs gun control. Thoughts And Prayers, amirite?

DATELINE: Cleveland, Ohio–– In response to overwhelming consumer demand, this week the American Association Of Decorative Hardware And Fixtures announced it's making a fundamental design change in all flagpoles. Beginning immediately, all poles manufactured in America will be designed to display flags at half mast only.

Sid Silverbaum, President of the Association, said, "We got a lot of feedback from various groundskeepers, patriots and elderly veterans from around the country, all of whom are exhausted from constantly having to trudge out to their poles and lower their flags to half mast every two to three days. Frankly it just doesn't make sense to make poles that display flags all the way at the top anymore."

According to Silverbaum, the new Half-Master® brand poles will be in stores by the end of the year, just in time for the latest mass shooting or Independence Day, whichever comes first.

I Give Up

A couple years ago, whenever there was a mass shooting here in the U.S. I would repost two different blog entries. One was about a company who manufactured flags that were permanently at half mast, in honor of the shooting victims of the week. The other was a "Thoughts And Prayers Generator," to quickly and effortlessly offer you condolences to the families of that day's shooting victims.

Note that I wasn't aiming for laughs with these posts, or making light of a tragic situation. I was attempting to point out the futility of America's barely-existent gun laws, and the uselessness of our elected officials who refuse to do anything about it.

Welp, I'm not going to repost those entries anymore. As of today there've been an astonishing 249 mass shootings in 2019. There have literally been more mass shootings than days so far in 2019 (249 vs 215). And the year still has four months to go! Gods know how high it'll be by the end of December.

If I continued to post these two items every time some disgruntled, heavily-armed nut case shoots up a mall or a garlic festival, that's literally all I'd get done!

Congratulations, America! Your soft gun laws and spineless politicians have worn me down to the point of exhaustion! Well done! 

Flagged Post (November 2018)

I've posted this many times now, and I'm going to keep doing it until something changes. Which will be never.

DATELINE: Cleveland, Ohio–– In response to overwhelming consumer demand, this week the American Association Of Decorative Hardware And Fixtures announced it's making a fundamental design change in all flagpoles. Beginning immediately, all poles manufactured in America will be designed to display flags at half mast only.

Sid Silverbaum, President of the Association, said, "We got a lot of feedback from various groundskeepers, patriots and elderly veterans from around the country, all of whom are exhausted from constantly having to trudge out to their poles and lower their flags to half mast every two to three days. Frankly it just doesn't make sense to make poles that display flags all the way at the top anymore."

According to Silverbaum, the new Half-Master® brand poles will be in stores by the end of the year, just in time for the latest mass shooting or Independence Day, whichever comes first.

Flagged Post (August 2018)

I've posted this many times now, and I'm going to keep doing it until something changes. Which will be never.

DATELINE: Cleveland, Ohio–– In response to overwhelming consumer demand, this week the American Association Of Decorative Hardware And Fixtures announced it's making a fundamental design change in all flagpoles. Beginning immediately, all poles manufactured in America will be designed to display flags at half mast only.

Sid Silverbaum, President of the Association, said, "We got a lot of feedback from various groundskeepers, patriots and elderly veterans from around the country, all of whom are exhausted from constantly having to trudge out to their poles and lower their flags to half mast every two to three days. Frankly it just doesn't make sense to make poles that display flags all the way at the top anymore."

According to Silverbaum, the new Half-Master® brand poles will be in stores by the end of the year, just in time for the latest mass shooting or Independence Day, whichever comes first.

Flagged Post (February 2018)

I've posted this many times now, and I'm going to keep doing it until something changes. Which will be never.

DATELINE: Cleveland, Ohio–– In response to overwhelming consumer demand, this week the American Association Of Decorative Hardware And Fixtures announced it's making a fundamental design change in all flagpoles. Beginning immediately, all poles manufactured in America will be designed to display flags at half mast only.

Sid Silverbaum, President of the Association, said, "We got a lot of feedback from various groundskeepers, patriots and elderly veterans from around the country, all of whom are exhausted from constantly having to trudge out to their poles and lower their flags to half mast every two to three days. Frankly it just doesn't make sense to make poles that display flags all the way at the top anymore."

According to Silverbaum, the new Half-Master® brand poles will be in stores by the end of the year, just in time for the latest mass shooting or Independence Day, whichever comes first.

Flagged Post (November 2017)

I just posted this almost exactly a month ago, but I'm going to keep doing it until something changes. Which will be never.

DATELINE: Cleveland, Ohio–– In response to overwhelming consumer demand, this week the American Association Of Decorative Hardware And Fixtures announced it's making a fundamental design change in all flagpoles. Beginning immediately, all poles manufactured in America will be designed to display flags at half mast only.

Sid Silverbaum, President of the Association, said, "We got a lot of feedback from various groundskeepers, patriots and elderly veterans from around the country, all of whom are exhausted from constantly having to trudge out to their poles and lower their flags to half mast every two to three days. Frankly it just doesn't make sense to make poles that display flags all the way at the top anymore."

According to Silverbaum, the new Half-Master® brand poles will be in stores by the end of the year, just in time for the latest mass shooting or Independence Day, whichever comes first.