Friday, January 21, 2022

The Book Of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 3: The Streets Of Mos Espa

This week on The Book Of Boba Fett, we get the absolute worst episode (so far) of an already mediocre series, as the titular character becomes sad that his subjects don't respect him, he teams up with a gang of street kids (!) and gets a cuddly new pet to boot. Yeah, that all happens.

I had high hopes for this series when it premiered, as I've been a fan of Boba Fett since 1980. Unfortunately the show's been a huge disappointment so far, as it stumbled out of the gate and is lagging far behind its sister series, The Mandalorian.

The main problem with it so far is the main character is definitely not Boba Fett. At least not the Boba Fett I know and love. That Boba Fett was described as the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, and was portrayed as cool, sleek and deadly. The kind of assassin who was always two or three steps ahead of his prey and seemed unbeatable.

The one seen in this series though... yikes. This one's a doughy old man who sleeps in an aquarium, worries about his image and needs a team of younger, better assassins to constantly save his ass. 

In fact, unless something changes soon I'm no longer gonna call him Boba Fett in these reviews. From this point on he's Borba Futt— the real Fett's wimpier, touchy-feely cousin that the rest of the family doesn't talk about.

I could almost understand this new kindler, gentler Boba Fett if the series was attempting to portray him as a man who'd grown weary of killing and longed for peace and solitude, but couldn't escape his violent past. That might have actually been an interesting take on the character. If that's series creator Jon Favreau's intention, then he fumbled it badly, as that's not coming across. At all.

I think the issue is that Boba Fett works best as a supporting character. He's basically a plot device— someone created for the express purpose of chasing after Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back. Once he fulfilled that function, there was nothing more for him to do, and no reason for him to exist. He was never meant to be the lead in a series, and should have been retired long ago.

But don't take my word for it. Even series star Temuera Morrison is unhappy with the way Fett's being written on the show! In a recent interview with NME, Morrison said he thinks Fett's talking wayyy too much, and taking off his helmet far too often. He reportedly tried to give the bulk of his dialogue to actress Ming-Na Wen, who plays Fett's partner Fennec Shand. Unfortunately series creator Jon Favreau nixed that idea, and ordered Morrison to say the lines as directed.

See? It's not just me? Even the guy who plays him thinks this isn't the real Boba Fett!

It didn't help matters any that this episode saddled Fett with an ill-advised gaggle of teen street urchins, straight out of a Dickens novel. Jaysis. What is this, The Book Of Boba Fett or Full House?

We're also treated to one of the worst and slowest chase scenes in cinematic history, in a bizarre sequence that went horribly and laughably wrong.

And then the unfortunate Disneyfication® extends all the way down to the Rancor, as in this episode we find out they're not mindless predators, but gentle, intelligent creatures with "surprisingly complex emotions." I wish I was making all that up.

Ah well. At least Stephen Root & Danny Trejo got a paycheck out of this episode.


The Plot:
Inside Futt's Palace, his steward droid 8D8 explains that after Jabba The Hutt died, his servant Bib Fortuna took over his empire. Unfortunately Fortuna was weak, and as a result Mos Espa is now ruled by three factions— the Trandoshans, the Aqualish and the Klatoonians. 8D8 says the city's now waiting to see what Futt does next.

Futt wonders who sent the assassin after him last week, and assumes it was the Hutt Twins. His partner Fennec Shand says she'll ask around, but for some reason Futt tells her to wait.

Lortha Peel, a local water merchant, then requests an audience with Futt. He says ever since Bib Fortuna's death, the streets of Mos Espa have devolved into chaos, and that the people don't respect Futt.

Peel then complains that he's regularly being robbed by a gang of street urchins, who've augmented themselves with cybernetic implants. He promises to double his tribute if Futt will rid the streets of the heinous scourge of... delinquent teens.

That night, Futt takes a stroll through the streets with Fennec and his Gamorrean Guards. He sees the young gang members hanging out, drinking water (?). He asks where they got it, and a female named Drash says they stole it. Futt says theft's a crime, and another member named Skad says they can't afford Peel's exorbitant prices because they have no money or jobs.

Futt points out they're in the worker's district, so they should be working. Drash tells Futt to look around, as there's no work. He says she has guts, and hires the gang to work for him. What the hell's happening on this show?

Just then Peel appears, upset that Futt's not murdering the youths, as they owe him 1,500 credits. Futt pays him 500 and tells him to consider the matter closed. He also orders Peel to lower his water prices. Thrilling!

Later that night, Futt lies in his bacta tank. Time for another flashback!

Futt leaves his Tusken tribe on the back of a Bantha. He rides into Mos Eisley, where he meets with the leader of the Pyke Syndicate. He's there to collect the protection money for letting the Pykes transport good across the Tusken's territory.

The Pyke Leader says they've already paid the Kintan Striders (the Nikto biker gang seen in the first two episodes), and aren't about to be extorted for even more cash. Futt says the money belongs to the Tuskens, and vows to resolve the matter. He tells the Pyke he wont hear from the Niktos again.

Futt returns to the Tusken camp, only to find it's been destroyed— complete with burned bodies strewn on the sand. He spots the symbol of the Nikto bikers on the remains of a tent. Futt burns the bodies of his tribe on a pyre and rides off on his Bantha.

Suddenly Futt wakes as he's dragged from the tank by Black Krrsantan, the Wookiee assassin we met last week. A strangely bloodless battle ensues, as Futt gets his ass handed to him. Just as Krrsantan's about to kill him, Drash and the other youths appear and attack him.

The fight spills out into the throne room, where the Gamorrean Guards join in. Krrsantan seriously injures the two of them. Fortunately Fennec Shand shows up and opens the trapdoor, dropping the Wookiee into the dungeon.

Sometime later, Futt tells Fennec he needs to respond to the assassination attempt, because the entire city's waiting for him to make the next move. He says he needs to send a message. Fennec says he already has, as Krrsantan is locked up in the dungeon.

Just then 8D8 announces that the Twins have arrived with a gift. Futt and Fennec walk through the front gate to meet them. The Sister Twin admits they sent Krrsantan to kill him, and the Brother apologizes. They offer Futt a gift to make up for it— a young Rancor.

Futt says he'll consider a truce if the Twins vacate the planet immediately. They agree to leave but the Sisters says there's something he should know— Jabba's territory was promised to another syndicate by Mok Shaiz, the Mayor of Mos Espa.

Futt then presents Krrsantan to them, saying they can have him back if they renounce all claims to Jabba's throne. The Twins don't want the Wookiee, and advise Futt to leave Tatooine. The two of them are then hauled away on their litter.

Futt releases Krrsantan, saying there're no hard feelings. The Wookiee then runs offscreen and out of the episode. Fennec asks if letting him go is a good idea. Futt says it was either that or kill him (!). He tells Fennec to make an appointment with the Mayor, to find out if the Hutts were telling the truth.

Futt visits the dungeon to see his new Rancor. Unfortunately it's just lying there, and he asks the Rancor Keeper what's wrong with it. The 
Keeper says it's depressed, as Rancors are surprisingly emotional creatures (!!). Futt asks why it's wearing blinders, and the Keeper says it'll imprint on the first human it sees. Futt pets the creature, which responds positively to him.

The Keeper says Rancors form strong bonds with their owners, and that the Witches Of Dathomir used to ride them into battle. Futt asks the Keeper to teach him how to ride this one.

The Keeper tells Futt to stand in front of the Rancor while he takes off its blinders. He removes them, and it sees Futt for the first time. He strokes the creatures chin, as it purrs at him.

What the hell did I just watch?

8D8 enters and informs Futt that the Mayor won't be available for the next twenty days. He tells Fennec to suit up, as they're gonna visit him anyway.

Futt and his entourage arrive at City Hall. The Majordomo tells them the Mayor's too busy to see them. Fennec displays her blaster, causing him to change his tune. He says he'll rearrange some appointments, and disappears into the Mayor's office. They hear the door lock.

Fennec blasts the door open and they go inside, only to find the office empty. Just then they hear the Majordomo take off in a speeder. Futt nods to his new gang of street urchins, and they all jump on their colorful shiny Space Vespas and speed off after him.

We're then treated to one of the slowest and silliest chase scenes in movie/TV history, as the Space Vespas slowly trundle after the speeder. After a lengthy pursuit that goes on way too long, the Majordomo crashes it into a fruit stand (of course) and they catch up to him.

The Majordomo tells Futt that the Mayor's working with the Pykes, and is gone. Just then Skad calls Futt from the local spaceport. He says he just saw a dozen Pykes exit one of the ships.

Fennec says this group of Pykes is just the first wave, and they're going to war. Futt says they'll be ready.

• The episode opens with a spider-like droid skittering across the sand in front of the Palace.

This is the same type of droid (or maybe even the exact specimen) we saw when C-3PO entered the place back in Return Of The Jedi.

Back in 1983, the Jedi FX crew designed and built this thing solely to populate the background of the dungeon. I guarantee they put absolutely zero thought into what it was supposed to be.

It didn't take long for the fans to come up with a complicated and completely unnecessary backstory for it though. This spider droid is actually a B'Omarr Monk, part of an ancient religious sect who built and occupied a monastery on Tatooine. At some point they all decided to place their brains inside robotic spiders, so they could contemplate the universe without the distraction of a physical body. 

Sometime later Jabba swooped in and took over their monastery, turning it into his own personal palace.

• Remember back in 1999, when everyone and their dog was giddy with anticipation for the premiere of The Phantom Menace? And then remember the intense wave of disappointment that swept the nation when a good part of that film was devoted to senators arguing over trade route disputes in Space Congress?

Welp, welcome to The Phantom Menace 2, as we get to watch Borba Futt stare at a map of the various factions controlling Mos Espa. Thrilling!

I didn't notice it till the second time I watched the episode, but the holographic map is being projected by an R5 droid who's standing behind 8D8. Isn't it amazing how every droid in this universe has one and only one function?

How hard would it be to build a hologram projector into 8D8's head or chest? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to own ONE multi-function droid instead of ten dedicated ones?

• For some reason 8D8 pronounces Jabba as "JABB-a" instead of "JAHH-ba" like everyone else.

This is a long-standing Star Wars tradition, as the franchise is full of characters who mispronounce names. Think of all the times Princess Leia was called "LEE-a," or how Lando consistently called Han Solo "HAHHHN."

• Futt gets a visit from Lortha Peel, a local water-monger.

It took me a minute to realize that Peel's played by Stephen Root— aka Milton Waddams of Office Space fame!

• Peel complains to Futt that the streets of Mos Espa are being overrun by street gangs. As he describes them, he seems downright disturbed and disgusted that these urchins have augmented their bodies with cybernetic parts. 

But why? As we saw in The Empire Strikes Back, this is a society with advanced medical technology that can replace missing limbs and organs with mechanical versions. So why does Peel act like the idea's something smelly that he stepped in?

• Futt goes out to investigate Peel's street gang claim. He locates them, and instead of gunning them down in the street like Boba Fett would do, he offers them all jobs!

So Borba Futt has now become Space Fagin, in charge of his own gang of Dickensian street urchins— complete with authentic Cockney accents! 

What the hell is even happening on this show?

I'm puzzled by these cyborg youts, er, I mean youths. They tell Futt they've no jobs or money, causing them to resort to petty theft. But they've all extensively modified their bodies with cybernetic parts, which likely aren't cheap. And look at their clothes! Everyone else on Tatooine walks around in dull, dingy robes. This group's sporting the latest fashions direct from Courascant, like they just stepped off the runway. Those threads probably cost a pretty penny, er, Republic Credit as well.

And in a little bit we'll see they're all riding around on bright, shiny customized Space Vespas. Again, not something that unemployed homeless youths would be likely to own. Did they steal all these trappings too? 

• Back in Return Of The Jedi, there was an establishing shot of Jabba's Palace which featured a Wort in front of it, eating a smaller creature and then belching for "comedic" effect.

We get a near-exact repeat of the scene in this episode as well. I think it's State Law that it has to happen every time we see the Palace. And any time there's an alien creature, it has to belch immediately after it eats something.

• While in his bacta tank, Futt has another dream of his early life on Kamino, as he watches his "father" Jango fly off in the Slave-1. Sorry, sorry, I meant the Firespray!

They've shown this scene at least twice now, so I assume it's setup for something in a later episode.

And yes, according to Disney, Futt's ship is now called the Firespray. That's because the old name (which has been around since 1980) had the "S" word in it, which gave SJWs icky bad feelings. So it had to be changed. 

This is nothing new, as back in the 1980s Kenner produced a Star Wars playset based on Darth Vader's ship The Executor. Company executives balked at using such a word as the name of a child's toy, and changed it to Darth Vader's Star Destroyer instead. So bullsh*t like this has been going on for over four decades now.

Thing is, Firespray ain't any better than Slave-1, as it sounds like some sort of horrible STD to me!

• Futt leaves the Tusken camp on his trusty Bantha. As he rides into nearby (I guess?) Mos Eisley, he passes a cluster of Stormtrooper helmets on pikes.

If that seems familiar to you, it's because we saw the same thing in The Gunslinger over on The Mandalorian. Both shows are set about eight years after Return Of The Jedi and the fall of the Empire, so this is presumably the locals' way of letting remnant Troopers know they're not welcome.

Based on this scene, this episode must take place around the same time as The Gunslinger. I'm honestly surprised that Disney restrained themselves and didn't stick Manny The Mandalorian in the background as well!

• Speaking of cameos— we then get a reverse angle of the piked helmets, as a familiar figure walks by with three pit droids in tow.

It's Peli Motto, the quirky ship mechanic who also made her debut in The Gunslinger. She was played by actress Amy Sedaris over on The Mandalorian. That clearly isn't her in the background in this scene, but it's obviously meant to be.

• Futt meets with the head of the Tatooine branch of the Pyke Syndicate to discuss protection money.

The Star Wars franchise has never been very subtle when it comes to names. For example, there's an evil space wizard named Darth Sideous, an overweight X-Wing pilot named Porkins and a race of squid people called the Mon Calamari. CALAMARI!!!

The Pykes are equally, if not more on the nose. I mean, come on— they have fish heads and they're called "Pykes?"

By the way, the Pyke Chief here's voiced by actor Phil LaMarr.

• Why the hell do the Tuskens bother riding Banthas? The giant beasts lumber along so slowly it seems like it'd be faster to just walk.

This is confirmed when Futt returns from Mos Eisley and sees smoke coming from the Tusken camp, and actually jumps off his Bantha and runs across the dunes to see what happened!

By the way, about the Bantha seen here... Back in A New Hope, the Banthas were played by Asian elephants in furry costumes, who'd been trained to hold their trunks in their mouths!

Welp, we can't have something like that here in the more "enlightened" 2020s. The Banthas are now massive puppets! I don't quite understand how it works, but supposedly there are four people inside (one operating each leg?), and another four outside handling the animatronic eyes, mouth and tongue.

• At the end of The Tribes Of Tatooine, Futt became a fully-fledged member of the Tusken tribe, considering himself one of them.

In last week's review I said we know he eventually leaves them at some point, and I wondered why he'd do so after finally finding a "family" of his own. I said I had a bad feeling that something really terrible was gonna happen to the Tuskens that would force Futt to leave them, team up with Fennec Shand and search for his armor.

WELP, I TOTALLY CALLED IT! This week Futt returns to the Tusken camp, only to find it and his new family have been totally wiped out. He wanders stoically around the camp a bit, then disposes of their bodies on a funeral pyre.

And that's the end of the Tuskens! What the hell?

Since the first episode, the Tuskens have played a HUGE role in Futt's life— so much so that I assumed they'd be a regular fixture of the series from this point on. I guess not! Apparently they were nothing more than a plot device to explain where Futt got his new fighting prowess. 

Once that was established there was evidently nothing else for them to do, so they were written out— in the most casual, callous and off-handed way possible. Jesus, they didn't even get an heroic death scene, as they were all killed off-camera! 

Even worse, their deaths were given all the gravitas of someone burning the toast at breakfast. In fact this episode devotes more time to 8D8 explaining his map than it does to the fate of the Tuskens. I feel like the characters deserved better than that. And Futt definitely should have been a little more upset about the incident.

• It's hard to tell for certain, but this appears to be Fett's Tusken Lady friend— the one who taught him how to fight. No sign of the kid he befriended though. Don't be surprised if he somehow survived the holocaust and pops up later, as I can't imagine Disney killing a kid in a show— even offscreen.

• Futt sees the Double J/White Sox logo— the calling card of the Nikto Biker Gang— painted on the side of a Tusken tent.

I think we could have figured out for ourselves that they're the ones who did this, but whatever.

• Black Krrsantan rudely interrupts Futt's flashback, ripping him out of the bacta tank for a strangely subdued and bloodless battle.

Seriously! At one point Krrsantan even powers up his electrified SPIKED brass knuckles and punches Futt in the face with them— and doesn't leave so much as a scratch on his mug! What the hell?

Where's that infamous Wookiee savagery we've been hearing about since 1977? He doesn't even attempt to rip Futt's arms out of their sockets!

• Fortunately for Futt, he's saved by the timely intervention of his street urchins. Jesus wept. Once again, this is NOT the Boba Fett I know and love. The REAL Fett wouldn't need help from a gang of freakin' teenagers to save him from a Wookiee. Even without his armor!

• I brought this up last week, but it applies here too. It bothers me greatly that Krrsantan doesn't sound like a Wookiee. He spends 99% of this episode roaring like a lion or Kong. There's only one brief second in this episode in which he sounds somewhat similar to Chewbacca.

Why? Did the sound FX guy forget what Wookiees are supposed to sound like? Did he lose the Chewie files?

• Looks like Futt needs to reprogram his chef droid. It cooked up this massive banquet for just two people!

• Based on what we've seen in the movies and the previous episode, Jabba's/Futt's Palace is miles away from the nearest settlement, accessible only by this long, winding dirt path.

Did the Twins REALLY make their litter carriers haul their fat asses all that way? They bring in the Rancor on a large repulsor sled, so why can't they ride on one as well? Seems like it'd be a lot quicker than having a squad carry them ten miles.

• For the second week in a row, the Brother Twin mops the sweat from his brow with a little furry rodent thing. It was kinda funny the first time we saw it, but he needs a new schtick. I guess they don't have handkerchiefs in the Star Wars Universe.

• The second I saw the guy hauling the Rancor, I thought, "Hey, that looks a lot like Danny Trejo!"

Turns out it was him! Thank the Maker! Trejo's not the best actor in the world, but he has a natural charm and likability that's somehow able to elevate anything he's in.

• Futt tries to turn Black Krrsantan over to the Twins, but they refuse to take him. Futt then lets the Wookiee assassin go. Fennec asks if that was a good idea, and Futt replies, "It was either that or kill him."

SO KILL HIM THEN! YOU'RE BOBA FREAKIN' FETT!!! Or at least you used to be! You know, the most feared bounty hunter in all the galaxy and all that? What the hell happened to that guy?

• This touchy-feely nonsense reaches a fever pitch when Futt visits his new pet Rancor. 

Futt: "
Why does it just lie there?"
Rancor Keeper: "It's depressed."
Futt: "This beast can feel such things?"
Keeper: "Rancor are emotionally complex creatures."

Futt: (wanting to pet the Rancor) "Can I?"
Keeper: "Yes, go ahead. They are quite peaceful unless threatened."
Futt: "Whoa, easy.
(Futt scratches the beast behind the ear.)
Futt: "Easy, boy. That's it. I think it likes this."
Keeper: "It does."
Futt: "I will spend more time with it."
Keeper: "You should. They can become very loving."
Futt: "I thought they were bred just to fight."
Keeper: "They're powerful fighters, so that is what most know. But they form strong bonds with their owners."

Jesus Hoverboarding Kee-rist On A Cracker!

It wasn't enough that Borba Futt's testicles were apparently dissolved by the Sarcacc's stomach acid. Now the show's coming after the Rancor species as well, neutering them into domesticated beasts of burden!

• The Keeper tells Futt that the Witches Of Dathomir used to ride Rancors through the forests and fens. Futt says he's ridden creatures ten times this size, and asks the Keeper to teach him. A couple things here:

As you might expect, the Keeper's reference is a whole thing in the Star Wars Universe. To try and make a verrrrry long story short— hundreds of years ago a Jedi Knight named Allya was exiled to the planet Dathomir, which was used as a penal colony. The inhabitants were regularly hunted and eaten by roving packs of Rancors. 

Allya tamed the Rancors with the Force, and trained the inhabitants in the ways of the Jedi. She also weeded out most of the males on the planet, transforming the society into a matriarchy known as the Daughters Of Allya. Most of this was spelled out in The Clone Wars animated series.

Secondly, I assume Futt's claim that he's ridden giant beasts before is a reference to the Star Wars Holiday Special— which was technically his first-ever appearance. In an animated segment we saw him riding some kind of alien dinosaur— which retroactively makes the Special canon!

By the way, all this talk about riding Rancors is setup if I ever heard it. I GUARANTEE that at some point— most likely in the season finale— we'll see Futt riding his Rancor into battle against the Pykes.

• Futt marches through the streets with his gang of street urchins in tow.

Is this display of "power" supposed to intimidate the locals? If so, it ain't working. They might laugh themselves unconscious, but they sure as hell ain't gonna be scared by these skinny kids on their shiny Space Vespas.

• Futt & his crew go to see the Mayor, but the Majordomo says he isn't in. He then locks himself in the Mayor's office, runs out the backdoor and flees in his speeder sedan.

I'm puzzled by the Majordomo's behavior here, as none of it makes a lick of sense. First of all he lies about the Mayor being in his office, but too busy to see anyone. Why not just say he's out? Surely the Mayor occasionally has duties that take him outside City Hall. As my pal Ted Parsnips quipped, why didn't the Majordomo just say, "Okay, he's not in now. He's out cutting the ribbon at the grand opening of a new moisture farm, but I'll tell him you dropped by."

And why'd he make a run for it instead of just telling them "Good day!" and going back to his office? I guess Fennec's threat must have scared him really badly!

• As the Majordomo zooms away, he's pursued through the streets of Mos Espa by Futt's gang, as we're treated to what has to be the slowest chase scene in history.

Seriously! Normally whenever we see a speeder bike on these shows they're little more than a blur. These customized Space Vespas certainly look like they should be fast, but they creep along like mobility scooters.

I dunno what went wrong with this scene, as the FX on this show and The Mandalorian have all been top notch and very impressive— especially for TV. They definitely dropped the ball here though.

• The strangely creaky chase scene pulls out all the cliched stops, as the Majordomo drives through fruit stands, knocks over water towers and roars past flummoxed pedestrians. The only thing missing is one of the Space Vespas driving through a large expensive mirror or a priceless painting carried by two movers.

Oh, wait. That happened. At one point the Yellow Ranger, er, I mean the Yellow Urchin is shoved off course and crashes through a large painting of Jabba, being hauled by a couple of men.

Note that this painting is based on production art of Jabba's throne room by the late, great Ralph McQuarrie. For some reason it looks like the version on the show edited out the image of Luke Skywalker. Oddly enough they left Boba Fett in though, at the right of Jabba!

• Based on the rickshaw droid's reaction here, I'm assuming director Robert Rodriguez is a big fan of Roadrunner cartoons.

• Go-Go Gadget Ankle!

If this ridiculous scene didn't dredge up memories of Inspector Gadget in your brain, then you're not even trying.

So what would be the advantage of having cybernetic extendable ankles? Is it so Skad can hop around town, on his very own built-in pogo sticks? To better peer over construction fences? Or so he can appear taller when his Space Tinder crush says she won't date anyone under six feet tall?

• The incredibly silly chase ends when the Majordomo smashes his speeder into a vendor's cart and ends up covered in pounds of fruit. I assume this is an homage to Biff's similar crash in Back To The Future, except with fruit instead of manure.

Note that when the Majordomo desperately tries to start his stalled speeder, we hear the same "malfunction" sound effect the Millennium Falcon made in The Empire Strikes Back.

• At the end of the chase, Futt uses his jetpack to land right next to the Majordomo. Wait, what?

He has a freakin' working jetpack! WHY THE FRAK DIDN'T HE JUST FLY AFTER THE MAJORDOMO IN THE FIRST PLACE, INSTEAD OF SENDING HIS POWER RANGER GANG AFTER HIM?!?!? He could have easily caught up to him and landed in the seat next to him, or flown ahead and dropped down in front of the speeder. Jaysis!

Of course if he'd done that then we wouldn't have been treated to the lethargic chase scene, which ate up ten minutes of runtime.

• There's an interesting scene right after the chase, as Skad's scoping out the local spaceport. He spots an army of Pykes exiting a ship, then drives his Space Vespa several blocks away till he sees a console on a wall. This is apparently the Star Wars equivalent of a pay phone (remember those, kids?), which he uses to contact Futt.

Holy crap! So I guess this answers the question, "Do Cell Phones Exist In The Star Wars Universe?" Looks like the answer's a big nope! 

So WHY don't they? This is a society that features faster-than-light travel, sentient droids and cybernetic body parts. Are you telling me no one ever thought to invent a portable phone in this world? How weird and unlikely.

• After Skad makes his report, Futt says, "Good work. Keep your eye on them." Then because this is Borba Futt and not Boba Fett, he realizes Skad has a Borg-like cybernetic eye and says, "Sorry. It's an expression." 

Jesus wept! This once deadly bounty hunter is now APOLOGIZING FOR POSSIBLY OFFENDING someone. I... I just don't know anymore, guys.

Also, note that Skad consistently calls Futt, "Mate." Eh, I don't like that. For the most part, people in the Star Wars Universe have always spoken somewhat stiffly and formally, and tend to avoid modern slang in an effort to sell the idea that these stories aren't taking place on Earth. 

Calling everyone "Mate" undermines that notion, and makes the series seem much more contemporary and familiar. I half expected him to say, "Oi, fam, that dodgy git like to fried me bollocks, innit?"

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