RIP Star Trek

Welp, it's official. Star Trek is dead.

Last week I posted that the latest Trek series, Strange New Worlds, was pumping out a musical episode, of all things. One in which the crew is hit with a space anomaly that forces them to communicate through song and dance. No, really!

Astonishingly, the episode featured a scene with what can only be described as a Klingon boy band, complete with synchronized dance moves and auto-tuned lyrics. 

Jesus wept.

Yes, I know Star Trek did its share of "lighthearted" episodes in the past (such as The Trouble With Tribbles and I, Mudd). This musical episode crosses a line though.

Ah well. It was fun while it lasted. There're hundreds of hours of previous Trek I can still watch.

RIP Star Trek: 1966 - 2023.

So now I can toss Star Trek onto the ever-growing scrap heap of properties I used to love that have been ruined, along with Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, The Walking Dead, Doctor Who, The Terminator and the MCU.

As usual, Mike & Rich said it best:

So It's Come To This: A Star Trek Musical Episode

So it's come to this— Star Trek's doing a musical episode.

In the upcoming August 3rd episode of Strange New Worlds, the Enterprise crew encounters a space anomaly that alters their brains, forcing them to communicate exclusively through song and dance.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

It's a fact of life whenever a TV show goes on for long enough, it'll eventually pump out a musical episode. It happened with Xena: Warrior Princess, Ally McBeal, Moonlighting, Buffy The Vampire Slayer (!), Scrubs, Psych (!!), 7th Heaven, Grey's Anatomy (?), OZ (!!!), That 70s Show, Fringe (??), Supernatural, Supergirl and The Flash (among many others). It's inevitable.

Look, I get it— lots of TV stars got their start in musical theater, and are quite talented in that arena. But just because the casts of these shows CAN sing and dance doesn't mean they SHOULD. 

A musical episode just feels too jarring and out of place in the Star Trek Universe, in my opinion. Can you imagine Shatner, Nimoy and Kelley singing and gadding about on the bridge?

Actually I guess I can!*

OK, that cover just reinforces my point here. If Star Trek's cribbing from MAD Magazine now, how are we supposed to take the show seriously after this?

Ah, but the musical thing is only the tip of the iceberg! A couple weeks ago Strange New Worlds did a crossover episode with another Trek show show— Lower Decks. Which, as you're no doubt aware, is an animated series!

In the episode, an accident throws Ensigns Mariner and Boimler back in time to Captain Pike's Enterprise— where the animated pair appear in live action for the first time.

Yeah, it was a fun outing, packed full of references and in-jokes for long-time Trekkies, yadda yadda. Thing is though, these kinds of gimmick episodes usually appear toward the END of a series. You know, after the writers have exhausted the premise and are desperately trying to come up with new ideas.

Strange New World isn't even through its second season yet! And they're already pulling out the Musical Episode? Oy.

I've watched a couple episodes of Strange New Worlds before deciding it just wasn't for me. I can't wait to not watch this outing as well.

*Thanks to my pal Ted Parsnips for reminding me that MAD cover was a thing!

Strange New Show

As regular readers know, I've been a Star Trek fan for the vast majority of my life— and I have the books, blu rays and action figures to prove it! I loved the Original Series of course, but my fandom really kicked in with The Next Generation. It was everything I ever wanted in a Trek series, and I anxiously waited for each new episode to air back in the day.

That's why it pains me to see how far the franchise has fallen with NuTrek. Gone are the epic adventures, metaphorical plots and social commentary of the various old series, as they've been replaced with identity politics, maudlin histrionics and nonsensical "End Of The Universe" serialized storylines.

I gave Star Trek: Discovery (or STD, as I like to call it) a fair shot, as I watched the first three episodes before realizing it was a woke nightmare that wasn't made for me. Picard (or Puke-Hard) was somehow even worse. It was a massive dumpster fire, and I only got fifteen minutes into the pilot episode before I noped out.

It's clear to me that the current crop of creators don't understand Star Trek or what made it work in the past. In fact I hate these new series so much that I consider them to be nothing more than expensive fan fiction, which can be safely ignored. 

That's why when CBS first announced Strange New Worlds, I had absolutely ZERO expectations, figuring it would just be more of the same. For some reason I decided to give it a shot though, and watched the first episode this past weekend.

So how was it? Welp, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I didn't hate it? In fact it actually wasn't that bad! Believe me, no one's more surprised than I am to hear me saying those words.

Anson Mount is terrific at Captain Pike, lending the character a sense of authority mixed with some badly needed humor. Rebecca Romijn was great as the efficient and capable Number One as well.

But then there's Ethan Peck as Spock— arguably the most important character in the series. Oy, gevalt! He's EXTREMELY miscast in the role, as he seems to lack the talent and gravitas to pull off such a demanding character. I don't think he quite understands Spock or Vulcans in general, as he seems to think "emotionless" means "dull and boring."

At this point Danny DeVito would have been a better choice for Spock! He'd certainly have been more interesting in the part! Heck, even Todd Haberkorn would have been better— he does a great job as Spock in Star Trek Continues— and that's a fan-made series!

I'm worried that this Spock misfire could end up harming the series in the long run.

The rest of the crew didn't have much of a chance to show their stuff yet, but so far I'm not seeing any potential problems. Hopefully they'll get more to do in subsequent episodes.

From what I gather, this series will be more episodic than the previous serialized ones. I think that's a wonderful idea, as it harkens back to TOS and TNG. I know ongoing storylines are all the rage these days, but there's nothing wrong with good old fashioned standalone plots.

STD and Picard also suffered from an overabundance of "Threat To The Entire Galaxy" arcs. If you blow up the universe every week, the audience is eventually gonna get bored. Strange New Worlds' back to basics approach seems like the way to go to me.

I've noticed another potential red flag, this one concerning Captain Pike. As all good trekkies know, Pike's character eventually suffers a horrific accident involving exposure to delta rays, leaving him a crippled husk that trundles around in a motorized chair.

This NuTrek version of Pike knows about his grim future, and is understandably weirded out by it. Unfortunately the writers milk this for all it's worth, as he sees visions of his maimed body at least THREE times in the first episode alone. 

I get how something like that could affect a man, but if he's going to freak out about it every time he sees himself in a reflective surface, it's gonna get old reeeeeeeeeal fast.

So far Strange New Worlds isn't near as insufferably woke as STD, but there are still a few hints of it. Take the character of Hemmer, for example. He's an Aenar— an alien species who are all blind. Of course since this is 2022, it's required that Hemmer be played by an actual visually-impaired actor. 

I don't begrudge the guy a gig, but... why is it people are only allowed to portray what they are now? What happened to, you know, acting? I shudder to think what NuTrek would do with Geordi LaForge if his character was created today.

Strange New Worlds is also lousy with continuity errors that contradict previously established canon— something which has plagued ALL the NuTrek series from the beginning. I really don't understand why they insisted on setting these shows in the Prime Universe, instead of just doing a hard reboot or saying they take place in an alternate timeline.

That's the way I'm handing this show— it's set in a parallel universe. It's the only way I can watch it without my head exploding.

So far The Orville is still the only real Star Trek we have right now. Strange New Worlds has potential, and I like what I've seen so far. But we're only one episode in— my opinion of it could change any second, depending on how the rest of the season plays out. I'm cautiously optimistic, but I'm not gettin' my hopes up too high.

Better enjoy this series while you can, because even with all its faults, I have a feeling this is probably the best that NutTrek is ever going to be. 

Somebody Make It Stop!

This week CBS— who currently owns Star Trek— announced that they're not done desecrating and mutilating the franchise.

In addition to Star Trek: Discovery (aka STD) and Star Trek: Picard (aka STP), the streaming service unveiled their plans for yet a third series, titled Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.

The new series will reportedly feature the adventures of Captain Pike, Spock and Number One aboard the Enterprise, ten years before the days of James T. Kirk.

Jesus Christ, CBS! Haven't you already defiled the corpse of Star Trek enough at this point? Must you keep on sucking it dry until there's nothing left? Have you no sense of decency, sirs, at long last? Have you no sense of decency?

For the record, I gave STD a shot (heh), as I watched the first three episodes before deciding it wasn't made for me. I tried to do the same with Picard, but couldn't make it all the way through the first episode. 

As a result I didn't bother with Season 2 of STD, but I did catch a few online clips of actors Anson Mount as Captain Pike and Rebecca Romijn as Number One (the less said about Emo Spock, the better). I liked what I saw of them, as the two played somewhat recognizable versions of their Original Series namesakes.

Unfortunately, two decent characters do not a series make, and they couldn't lift STD from the morass into which modern day Trek has sunk.

These shows may be labeled Star Trek, but take my word for it, they're as far from Gene Roddenberry's vision as humanly possible— somewhere on the outskirts of the Delta Quadrant.

That's why I have absolutely zero hope for Strange New Worlds. Especially if noted Hack Alex Kurtzman is involved. He's the visionary writer/producer/director who brought us such classics as Transformers, Star Trek (2009), Star Trek Into Darkness, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and The Mummy (2017). Nuff said!

There's no doubt in my mind that Strange New Worlds will be more of the same, emphasizing action and space battles over good storytelling as it tromps all over established Trek canon. Feh!

If STD and Picard represents the best CBS can do with the Trek franchise, then I wish they'd just let it die. At this point I consider these new shows to be nothing but elaborate and expensive fan fiction, to be ignored. I'll stick with reruns of the Original Series and TNG, thanks.