Stick A Fork In It

I find it ironic that Target's currently charging $13 bucks for a Forky figure from Disney/Pixar's latest blockbuster Toy Story 4. An action figure made from a plastic utensil and common arts & crafts supplies. A toy one could easily make oneself for fifty cents.

Of course a homemade Forky wouldn't come with "Wacky Action," so there's that...

What Happened To The Art Of Movie Poster Design: Some Actual GOOD Examples!

For the past month or so I've been obsessively complaining about the sorry state of current movie poster design. 99% of it is pure, undiluted crap that would embarrass a first year art student. When I look at the artwork lining the walls of my local cineplex, I'm baffled as to how any of it was ever approved, much less printed and sent out for use.

Today I thought I'd try something different for a change, and present a precious few movie posters that are actually GOOD. Bear with me—  I'm a little rusty, as I'm not used to praising poster art. 

First up is the Japanese poster for Godzilla: King Of The Monsters. They went with an illustrated design here rather than photos, which is much appreciated. The four main monsters are all stylishly represented, as they're intertwined with what I assume is the film's title. Love the bold red background too. Kudos!

Next is this IMAX poster for Toy Story 4: The Unnecessary Sequel. The third film tied up the series with a perfect narrative bow, making this fourth outing nothing more than a shameless cash grab on Disney's part. 

That said, this is a damn fine poster. As I noted above, I love illustrated posters and would take one any day over a design cobbled together from a dozen photos.

I like the character designs here, that manage to capture the look of the 3D models in two dimensions. The predominantly purple/green color palette is an interesting choice, but it works. Well done, IMAX Toy Story 4 designer!

Lastly, I like this poster for Jim Jarmusch's arthouse zombie film The Dead Don't Die. It's incredibly simple, but effective. In particular I love the blue tint with the red fill light at the right, and as a graphic designer I'm a sucker for hand-drawn fonts. Great job!

"Woke" Peep

Oh, Disney... you never learn, do you?

Remember the character of Bo Peep from the first two Toy Story movies?

She was sweet yet sassy, and the object of Woody's affections. Voiced by Annie Potts, Bo was a major character in the franchise, and quickly became a fan favorite.

Sadly, Bo didn't appear in Toy Story 3, as her role was usurped by upstart Jessie The Yodeling Cowgirl. We never find out just why Bo's absent in that film, but it's implied she was either lost, given away or worse yet, broken.

Welp, it looks like Bo's back for Disney/Pixar's totally unnecessary cash-grab Toy Story 4. At least I think it's supposed to be Bo. In the years since her absence she's apparently ditched her trademark bonnet and hoop skirt and turned into the ultimate SJW female warrior.

Seriously, look at her here. She could not resemble Rey from The Force Awakens & The Last Jedi more if she tried. She's even holding her staff like a weapon, just like Rey!

I fully expect her to spend as good part of the movie swinging that thing around and knocking sense into Woody and Buzz— after delivering a stern lecture on feminism, of course.

And lest you think I'm imagining all this, there's Bo on the poster, posing like a Shaolin Warrior.

Jesus wept.

Did anyone ask for this, Disney? Did any fan ever contact you and say, "You know, the Toy Story franchise is OK, but it'd be even better if it contained lots of SJW bullsh*t and forced identity politics!"

C'mon, Disney! Doctor Who, Star Trek: Discovery and your own Star Wars all went this same route in the past year or two. And all three franchises crashed and burned as audiences rejected their unwanted lecturing. 

One would think you'd have learned your lesson by now, but apparently you haven't. I hope for everyone's sake you're not going to ruin Toy Story as well, but it looks like it's already too late. 

R.I.P. Bo Peep.