It Came From The Cineplex: In Time

In Time is a sci-fi action movie set in a futuristic world in which time very literally is money.

0

In this world, genetic science has figured out a way to stop the aging process at 25. In order to prevent the world from being overrun by immortals, once a person reaches the magic age of 25 they're allowed one additional year to live, unless they can "earn" more time. People no longer work for money, but for units of time. Everyone has a digital "tattoo" in their right forearm that constantly counts down the minutes and seconds of their remaining life. When their clock reaches zero, their hearts stop and they die.
0
In this society the poor are constantly scrambling for a few extra minutes to live another day. Food and shelter are paid for with time. Prices and interest rates are constantly on the rise, making it difficult to survive. Meanwhile, the wealthy have enough time stockpiled in their clocks to live for centuries. Hmm... sounds a bit familiar, eh?
0
Justin Timberlake plays Will Salas, a worker from one of the poorer "time zones" of the city who barely manages to earn enough time to survive each day. He crosses paths with "millionaire" Henry Hamilton, who has over a hundred years stored in his personal clock. Despite the fact that Hamilton looks like he's 25, he's lived for over a hundred years and has become world-weary and ready to cash it all in. He transfers his time to Will's clock and dies shortly after.
0

Unfortunately for Will, his time windfall catches the attention of the Timekeepers (this world's version of the police), who believe he murdered Hamilton for his time. As he flees from Timekeeper Raymond Leon, Will meets up with Sylvia Weis, the socialite daughter of one of the richest men in the world. Fascinated by Will and bored with her privileged lifestyle, she goes on the run with him.
0
It's a neat little premise and a timely one as well, coming out at the same time as all the "Occupy" protests. It's a nice commentary on how the average American worker has become a "wage slave," toiling away at a jobs they'll never be able to afford to escape.
0
There are lots of clever touches that raise it above the usual sci-fi actioner. In particular I liked the way the poor, who can't afford cars or public transportation, have to run everywhere they're going. After all, they can't afford to waste a second of the time they have left. They even have to wolf down their food quickly in order to rush back out to earn more time. Contrast that with the rich, who linger over meals and take their time getting to wherever they're going.
0

Another nice touch: the rich have all the time in the world (literally) and will live virtually forever unless they're killed in an accident. Therefore they're terrified of taking part in any kind of dangerous activity and their dull, endless lives are spent playing it safe.
0

I was never much of a fan of Justin Timberlake, but he can actually act and does a decent job of carrying the film. Who knows, he may  have a future as an action hero. Amanda Seyfried plays the bored socialite part well. The only actor I had a problem with was Cillian Murphy as Leon the Timekeeper. Everyone else in the film plays their parts with a kind of real-world restraint. Murphy, however, goes way over the top, chewing the scenery like an old-school Doctor Who villain. All that was missing was a mustache for him to twirl.

Also, I would like to nominate Amanda Seyfried for a special Academy Award. She spent the majority of this movie being dragged behind Justin Timberlake, running flat out for all she was worth in a pair of huge platform heels without stumbling once. That couldn't have been easy and is worthy of an award in my book.

0

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn't bring up one Mr. Harlan Ellison. As I left the theater I started thinking, "Didn't Harlan Ellison write a story about a society obsessed with time? I wonder how long it'll be before he files a lawsuit against this movie?" 
0

Mr. Ellison is an outspoken and controversial sci-fi author who's written many books and short stories. He's a very polarizing figure in the world of science fiction; you either love him or despise him. He's also extremely litigious, suing any movie that comes out of Hollywood that even vaguely resembles one of his stories or concepts. He usually wins too. He successfully sued writer/director James Cameron over the original Terminator movie, claiming he stole the idea of a soldier going back in time to prevent war.
0

Back in 1965 Ellison wrote a short story called Repent Harlequin! Said The Ticktock Man. The In Time movie is vaguely similar to his story, but in my opinion is not an outright ripoff. Sure enough, when I got home I checked the internet and saw that Ellison had already filed a lawsuit demanding the film be removed from theaters and all copies destroyed.

0

Hollywood has never been shy about stealing concepts and even whole scripts outright. In this case though, I don't think they're guilty.

0

Repent Harlequin! Said The Ticktock Man is about a future society in which time and schedules are strictly controlled. Everything must run on time, or else. Being late for anything is a crime, punishable by having minutes or hours shaved off your life. If you violate this law enough times, the Master Timekeeper, also known as the Ticktock Man, can end your life by remotely activating a device that stops your heart. A terrorist who calls himself the Harlequin (who also dresses as such), takes delight in disrupting the highly ordered system by sabotaging the motorized sidewalks, distracting workers, etc. The Harlequin is eventually caught and after being brainwashed, goes before the public and admits he was wrong to be disruptive and that it's good to be on time.

0

I'm honestly not seeing much here that was copied. The only real similarities are the heart-stopping device and the "Timekeeper" name, which could have been coincidental. What else would you call a cop who investigates time-based crimes? "Time Cop" has already been taken.
0
Repent has no mention of paying for goods and services with time, as in the movie. There's nothing about the aging process being halted at 25. Nothing about a clock implanted into everyone's forearm. Nothing about the divide between the poor and wealthy. Nothing about the rich and poor living in different "time zones." Nothing about the poor having to run everywhere while the rich dawdle. Nothing about the rich accruing enough time to live virtually forever. Nothing about the hero stealing time from the rich and giving it to the poor.
0
Despite this (to me) lack of similarity, the judge in the case ruled in Ellison's favor, and the DVD will now carry a special, "Based on a story by Harlan Ellison" credit.
0
Harlan Ellison is a talented writer, but he needs to learn that you can't copyright a concept. Hollywood is definitely no angel, but in this case I think the small similarities between the movie and his story are coincidental. Besides, by this point in human history there are few if any original ideas left in the world.

UPDATE!

Apparently the story that the judge in Ellison's case ruling in his favor was erroneous. He did not win the case after all. In fact, now it's being reported that Ellison stopped yelling at kids to get off of his lawn long enough to actually go and see the movie. After seeing it he reportedly dropped the case. Did he drop the suit because he agreed with my assessment and didn't see enough similarities? Or did he drop it because he received an out of court settlement from the studio? No one's talking.
0
In Time features a cool concept and a script that elevates it above the usual sci-fi action film.  I give it a B+.

THIS Is Why al-Qaeda Hates America: Peeing Santa Drink Dispenser

You know how sometimes you watch the news and see a story about al-Qaeda and they're always out in the streets chanting, "Death to America?" Did you ever wonder, "Gosh, what's their problem? Why do they hate us so much?"

It's because of things like this:

Presented without comment.

The Walking Dead Season 2, Episode 5: Chupacabra

There was a lot going on this week: flashbacks, hallucinations, brewing distrust between Rick's and Hershel's groups, shoe-gnawing zombies and a revelation about the barn.

Spoilers!

• Ha! Last week when I saw Merle in the previews, I said I bet we'd see him in a flashback instead of in real time. Well, I was close. He appeared courtesy of his brother Daryl's injury-fueled hallucination. Man, Michael Rooker is really good at playing assholes, isn't he?

I really liked the scene where Merle was dragging Daryl by the feet and then morphed into a zombie trying to eat his foot.

• Sigh... another week without a resolution to the Sophia storyline. Even some of the characters in the show are getting tired of this subplot. We're getting closer though; last week Darryl found where she'd been staying, now this week he found her doll. Hopefully next week he'll find her.

Here's a thought: maybe Sophia doesn't want to be found. Maybe as she was wandering through the woods she found a better group that wasn't such a magnet for zombies and she went off with them.

I'm trying to figure out why I hate this subplot so much. I think it's because her disappearance is keeping the rest of the characters from moving on until they find her. That makes it feel like the series has ground to a halt as well. Supposedly the show's going to take a break after episode 7. I have a bad feeling Sophia won't be found until then.

UPDATE: Two days after I posted this, creator Robert Kirkman confirmed in an interview that we wouldn't learn Sophia's fate until episode 7. Sigh...

• Geez, the show's getting their money's worth from that traffic jam "set." They even used it in the LOST-style flashback at the beginning. Fortunately they had the foresight to film that scene before Shane shaved his head.

• Andrea finally starts to show the beginnings of her sharpshooter skills, which is a very prominent part of her character in the comic. Luckily for Darryl TV Andrea isn't as good a shot (yet) as Comic Andrea.

• I really liked the scene in the RV between Dale and Glen, in which Glen puts forth his theory about menstrual synchronization.

• We see Herschel filling up his generator, which explains why his remote farmhouse still has electricity. Nice to see the writers are paying attention and answering (some of) our questions.

• And finally we get to see what's inside Herschel's barn, and why he wants Rick's crew to stay away from it. So far this plotline is playing out exactly as it did in the comic. Next week we'll no doubt find out why Herschel's playing zombie rancher.

I'm A Grown Man And I Bought This: Mattel 12" Ghostbusters

I've been a big fan of the movie Ghostbusters ever since I saw in in the theater back in 1984 (yeah, I'm gettin' old). The sequel I didn't like so much, but the original is as perfect a movie as you're ever likely to find.

The only problem was that in all these years, no one ever released any official Ghostbusters action figures. Oh sure, they had a whole line in the 1980s based on The Real Ghostbusters cartoon series, but it just wasn't the same. I wanted toys from the movie, dammit!

From what I've heard there were many toy companies that wanted to make GB toys, but there was always one thing stopping them. One Mr. William James Murray. The other actors from the film were more than happy to have their faces immortalized in plastic, but for many years Bill Murray was always the holdout. Since he was for all intents and purposes the star of the film, there wasn't much point in making toys without his character.

Then a miracle happened: the Toy Gods answered my prayers. Bill Murray finally deigned to allow his precious likeness to be used and Mattel announced they were making official movie version Ghostbusters figures. Huzzah!

These figures actually starting coming out sometime in 2009. Mattel released one every three or four months until the team was complete in 2010. However, they were priced at $60 each. Believe it or not, that's actually not a bad price for a 12" action figure these days. In fact, most 12" figures from Hong Kong toy company Hot Toys regularly run well over $200! Yeah, toys are crazy expensive these days.

So even though someone was finally making Ghostbusters figures, I couldn't afford to buy them. Thanks, Universe! You are hilarious. I went about my life and eventually forgot about them, remaining Ghostbusterless.

Then another miracle happened; just last month Mattel had a big sale on Ghostbusters merchandise. At last the price was right, and I finally managed to get my Ghostbusters figures!

I picked up the Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz and Egon Spengler figures. Mattel also made a Winston Zeddemore figure, but... alas, I didn't get him. I desperately wanted him, but I had to draw a financial  line in the sand somewhere, so I limited myself to the three main members. Sorry Winston. Maybe next time you're on sale.

By the way, these are online exclusive figures, so don't expect to be able to waltz into your local Target or Toys R Us and buy them. The only place you can find them is at Mattel's online store, mattycollector.com.

The figures come in large, fairly sturdy plastic and cardboard cases. If you're one of those weirdos that keeps their toys in the box, then you're in luck. The boxes look great and the figures are clearly visible inside.

Although the boxes appear to be collector friendly, I was surprised to see that they most definitely are not. Not that I cared, mind you. I open all my figures and I pretty much destroyed the boxes trying to get them out. Keep that in mind if you plan on taking out the figure and placing it back in the box.

Oh, we're not nearly done! There are tons more photos after the jump! Read the rest by clicking below.

The Walking Dead Season 2, Episode 4: Cherokee Rose

Looks like it's back to more character building after last week's action-oriented episode. We only got one zombie this week, but it was a memorable, waterlogged and disgusting one.

The show seems to be paralleling the comic fairly closely again after veering away from it at the end of last season. Herschel's farm and the Glen and Maggie storylines were both prominent parts of the comic.

Spoilers!

• Dear Walking Dead:

  Please resolve the Sophia storyline. Soon.

  Signed,
  The World

• I'm glad Shane only wore those overalls for a minute or two during the episode. They, combined with his newly shorn head, made him look like a halfwit inbred hillbilly.

• Herschel's barn finally makes an appearance. Keep an eye on it, as it'll become important in the next couple of episodes.

• Herschel wants Rick and his crew to leave as soon as Carl is well enough to travel. Knowing how things turn out in the comic, that's probably a good idea for both sides.

• Darryl finds a cabin in the woods, complete with signs of life. Was Sophia recently there?

• Regarding the zombie in the well: the gang doesn't want to shoot it because they fear the resulting blood and brains will contaminate the water. What about the fact that a bloated dead guy has been splashing around in the well for weeks? That doesn't count as contamination? I know there's no way I'd drink anything that came out of that well ever again.

• Glen and Maggie finally hook up, complete with dialog straight out of the comic. I liked Glen's bragging on the way to the pharmacy, contrasted to his inept shyness as Maggie declares her desire to jump his bones.

• Carl finally gets his sheriff hat! He's been wearing it in the comic for years. Very cool to finally see him wearing it on the show.

• Darryl shows there's more to him that meets the eye as he gives the grieving Carol a Cherokee Rose. I'm sure his heart was in the right place, but I'm not sure that the accompanying story– that the flowers grow where the tears of grieving Native American mothers fell– is going to make Carol feel any better.

• Lori is pregnant, which comes as no surprise if you're a fan of the comic. So does Rick already know? I was sure that at the end of last season that that's what Dr. Jenner of the CDC whispered into Rick's ear. Again the question remains; whose baby is it? Rick's or Shane's?

• Was that Merle in the trailer for next week's episode? Sure looked like him. If it was indeed him, I'm betting he shows up in a flashback. It seems unlikely that he'd be taking the same route as Rick and company and hook up with them again.

It Came From The Cineplex: Real Steel

Here's my short visual review of the movie Real Steel:

All in all I enjoyed it well enough. If I was a ten year old it would be my all time favorite movie. It's about a kid with an incredibly indulgent father in a cool profession, who has a hot mom surrogate and best of all has a giant robot playmate. The life every kid dreams of!

Overall it's about as good a movie as you can expect from the artistically bankrupt business model that is modern Hollywood.

By the way, the movie is NOT based on the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots game, as most people keep saying. It's based loosely on the 1956 short story Steel by Richard Matheson. It was later adapted into a 1963 Twilight Zone episode.

Pros:
• It's a movie about boxing robots! What's not to like?

• Cool robot designs. I wish there'd been more of them though.

• The robots all looked absolutely real (to me, anyway).

• Huge Ackman doesn't sing or dance during the movie (although the kid and his robot dance).

• Evangeline Lily in a wife beater shirt!

Cons:
• For a movie about fighting robots, there was surprisingly little robot fighting. Maybe it would have become boring and repetitious if there'd been more fighting? Plus robot fights are no doubt really expensive to film, causing them to pare down the scenes.

• The kid in the movie looks disturbingly like Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace.

• Missed opportunity: They should have made the poster an homage to this image of the Ali/Liston fight.

• The ending was a bit predictable, but hey, it's geared mostly towards kids who haven't seen as many movies as cynical reviewers such as myself.

My verdict: Hey, its a movie about fighting robots! What more do you want from a film? I give it a B.

Christmas Creep 2011

I drove past a house in my neighborhood today and saw the first Xmas tree of the season (November 6). None of my business of course, but man, that seems awfully early. I hope for their sake it's a fake tree!

I'm A Grown Man And I Bought This: Lego Star Wars Boba Fett Alarm Clock

Last year I bought myself a Lego Stormtrooper Alarm Clock from the always cool thinkgeek.com website. I liked the Stormtrooper clock a lot, but was disappointed that it and a Darth Vader clock were the only ones available. What about Boba Fett? Why no love for him?

Finally my toy prayers have been answered! Behold the Official Lego Star Wars Boba Fett Alarm Clock!

I've been a huge fan of Boba Fett since his very first appearance in The Empire Strikes Back in 1980 (yes, I'm aware that his first appearance was technically in the Star Wars Holiday Special on TV in 1978, but the less said about that the better). Ever since then I've been collecting every piece of Fett merchadise I can get my hands on.

So what is it about the character that appeals to me so? Maybe it's the cool armor. Maybe it's his funky looking ship. Most likely it was his mysterious background. Boba Fett was a mystery; we knew next to nothing about him, which was no doubt a large part of his appeal.

But George Lucas couldn't leave well enough alone, and had to give us a lame origin story in the Prequels, showing us Boba's childhood and his motives for becoming a bounty hunter. Some things are best left unseen, George. That's OK, I still like the character.

Anyway, as you are no doubt aware, Lego has been making Star Wars sets and figures for quite a few years now, and this is a large sized replica of one of their Stormtrooper figures, but with a digital clock in its chest. As near as I can tell it's an exact duplicate of the smaller figure, scaled up to around 9".

Oh, we're not nearly done! Read the rest by clicking below.

How To Draw A Cyberman In 42 Easy Steps

A couple of days ago I finally completed my Evolution Of The Cybermen vector drawing poster. As always when I do a vector drawing, I use InDesign.

I don't think most people believe me when I say that I use InDesign, as it's made for page layout and making books rather than drawing. Illustrator is usually the program of choice for vector drawing. I really don't like Illustrator though. I've tried and tried to use it and make myself like it, but... I just can't stand it. InDesign has most (not all) of the same drawing tools and they work much better and more intuitively for me than Illustrator's do. So I draw in InDesign.

In a way drawing in vector is a lot like building a model kit. You construct your drawing out of parts and pieces and each piece has to be assembled in a certain order. Unlike a model kit though, I don't ruin my drawing by accidentally spilling glue all over it and throwing it across the room.

Anyhow, I thought readers might be interested in seeing how I go about drawing my vector characters.

Whenever I draw any kind of cartoon character, I usually start with the head. The head's the part that gets the most attention so I figure that's as good a reason as any to begin there.

Step 1: I drew the general shape of the Cyberman's head and colored it a bluish gray. Most of the Cybermen are silver, which is tough to simulate onscreen. Obviously gray would be the best color to represent silver, but a page full of plain old grays would get old fast. I usually add a little bit of blue to the gray to give it a slight bit of color and visual interest.

Step 2: Then I drew the Cyberman's "mask" or whatever you want to call it. I made it a lighter gray.

Step 3: Next I drew a couple of tapered curved lines to indicate the sides of the Cyberman's head. Note that the lines are a bit longer than the head and stick out past the boundaries. That's OK for now, as we'll see in the next step.

Step 4: I used InDesign's "Place Into" feature to, well, place the lines into the head. Now they don't hang over the edge and they're behind the mask where they ought to be.

Step 5: Next I added a darker square behind the bottom of the mask, to give the head a little more dimension. I also added the neck. The neck was pretty much the same color as the mask, so I added a darker shadow to it to help separate it from the head.

Step 6: The mask needed to look a bit more three dimensional, so I added edges to it. I decided the light should be coming from the left (MY left!), so the left hand edge is light, while the right hand edge is dark. These edge shapes were basically just different colored clones of the mask, placed behind it and offset a bit.

I just noticed the head looks a lot like Magneto's mask.

Step 7: Next I added the wide ridge on top of the head. It was drawn the same way as the mask, with light and dark edges to give it some dimension.

Step 8: I added a highlight to the middle of the mask. It seemed to need something there to keep it from looking flat. To draw the highlight I just made a white shape and used InDesign's "Feather" effect to give it a soft, blurry edge.

OK, now we're starting to get somewhere. Have you ever watched a new home being built? It seems like the construction workers fiddle around with the foundation for weeks and weeks without ever making any progress. Then suddenly the next day, BAM! The walls and roof appear in an hour.

Vector drawings are like that. You work on the foundation for what seems like forever, but then once that's done, the drawing starts taking shape very quickly.

Step 9: Next I added the eyes. For the eye I drew a dark circle, then added a small "tear drop" shape to the side. I used InDesign's "Add" feature to combine these two separate shapes into one. Then I added dark and light edges to the inside of the eye by placing curved shapes inside.

Once I had the left eye done, I cloned it and flopped it to make the other eye. That's one of the fun parts about working in vector. When you're drawing something symmetrical, you only have to draw it once.

Step 10: Next I drew the mouth. When this version of the Cybermen speak, their mouths light up with bluish white lights that flash in rhythm with their speech. To make the mouth lights I drew a light blue bar and then a thinner white bar on top of it. I feathered them both, then cloned them until I had three of them. I then placed all three bars inside a horizontal black strip and placed it on the face.

See, what did I tell you? It took a while for it to look like anything, but suddenly it's definitely a Cyberman head!

Step 11: I drew a light gray band around the outside of the head. I also added a "top knot" to the top of this band.

Step 12: Next I drew a second slightly larger and darker band around the first one.

Step 13: Then I drew the beginnings of the Cyberman's "ears." Basically just boxes with rounded corners.

Oh, we're not nearly done! Read the rest by clicking below.

Evolution Of The Cybermen

Here's what all my recent Cyberman posts were leading up to: a poster depicting every version (so far) of Doctor Who's Cybermen.

Obviously you'll have to zoom in to read the text.

I drew my first Cyberman back when I did my Doctor Who Enemies Infographic (which was the version from the episode The Invasion). A bit later I drew the Earthshock version. That's when I decided to go ahead and draw every variation of Cyberman there's been so far.

I didn't know it at the time but after I started researching them I found out that there have a whopping EIGHTEEN different versions of Cybermen! If I'd known that before I started I would have probably said forget it!

I'm reasonably confident that I drew every major Cyberman variation that has appeared on the show; hopefully I didn't miss any. If I did, I don't know that I'll go back and correct it. I've spent the past two or three weeks squinting at reference photos trying to figure out if a white line was a piece of tubing or a fold in a silver jumpsuit. I'm a little Cybermanned out.

Actually drawing this wasn't as bad as it probably looks. Because it's a vector drawing, I could easily reuse parts and pieces. I'd draw a right arm, then clone and flop it for a left arm. Same with the legs and the "handlebars" on their heads. And drawing Cyberleaders was pretty easy-- just draw a regular Cyberman, clone him, color his handlebars black, and there you go! Instant Cyberleader.

At first I was trying to make this a standard poster size, like 12" x 18" or 24" x 36", but try as I might I just couldn't squeeze everyone into those sizes (without shrinking them into oblivion). I finally said "who cares" and just let the art dictate the size. If I ever decide to have it printed I'll figure something out then.

By the way, if you're scratching your head trying to figure out what's different about the last two Cybermen in the bottom row, it's the chest plate. The first three Cybermen in the bottom row all have a stylized letter "C" on their chests (which stands for Cybus Industries, not Cybermen). They come from a parallel Earth in another dimension. The last two Cybermen don't have the "C" because they originated from our own dimension.

If you're interested in seeing how I draw these vector characters, I posted a How To Draw A Cybermen In 42 Easy Steps.

This is a vector drawing, done all in InDesign.

So how do I know so much about Cybermen? I'm not at liberty to say...

Behold, The Wall Of Tackiness

I think it's high time I posted some photos of the awesome north wall of my living room. As you can see, I've spent a lot of time and effort collecting the finest pieces of art and ephemera that money can buy... at the flea market.

It's my belief that individually these pieces are lacking in style and taste, but when placed together in just the right way, they combine Voltron-style into the magnificence that is the Wall of Tackiness.

Most of the items the items that comprise the Wall, and the surrounding decor, is right out of the 1970s. I think the 1970s was my favorite decade in terms of style. Mock it if you will, but there's no denying that 1970s style is recognizable. Can you say the same about any recent decade? What does 1990s style look like? 2000s style? Who knows? Those decades had no style. They're invisible, cipher decades. The 1970s may gave been tacky, but at least they were memorable.

Here's another angle of the Wall, this time spotlighting my fake Eames chair and ottoman. I found the chair a few years back at an indoor flea market. Based on conversations I've had with retro enthusiasts, this isn't a genuine Eames chair. I don't care, I like it just the same. It looks cool, keeps my butt off the floor and didn't cost a thousand dollars like a real Eames would have.

Come, let's take a tour of the Wall, shall we?
 

As I mentioned earlier, most of the items on the Wall are straight out of the 1970s, and this lamp is no exception. I found it at an antique store a few years ago and as soon as I saw it, I knew I must possess it. As a bonus, it still works!

I remember seeing lamps like this in other people's homes when I was a kid and thinking they were the ultimate in coolness and sophistication. I still do.

Here's something you don't see every day: a black velvet painting of a Doberman. Now that's art! Bought at a local antique shop.

I love all kinds of Tiki stuff, so naturally it's a big part of the decor. I have a ton of old Tiki mugs, but unfortunately I don't have room to display them all. Some day I'm going to have to build some shelves. 

In the meantime, here's a big Tiki head that's hanging on the Wall. It's not an antique, it came from a store in our local mall that sold tropical merchandise. Sadly the store is gone, along with any reason to ever go to the mall.

Up next is another piece that's technically not part of the Wall, but it's in the same room so I'm including it. It's a beautiful portrait that I acquired at one of the finer outdoor flea markets in town. I normally don't like to flaunt my wealth, but I paid a pretty penny for this piece: a full twenty dollars.

Best of all, it appears to be an actual painting and not a print. They had two of them at the flea market; I didn't want to overdo it so I bought the one I liked best. Now of course I kind of wish I'd bought them both.

The painting is signed "Cortes" in the upper left corner. Try as I might, I can't uncover any info on the artist.

Here's some more Tiki themed stuff on the Wall. The Tiki head came from the same store as the one above, and the Voodoo lounge sign came from Big Lots. What, doesn't everyone decorate their home with items from Big Lots?

Here's an interesting tableau in front of the Wall. Sitting on top of a bamboo cabinet is a Tiki mug, some sort of Asian art and two small Tiki figures. Naturally no 1970s theme would be complete without a genuine Lava Lamp. 

The Lava Lamp is a repro, not an original. You have no idea how hard it was to find a classic looking lamp and not one that was shaped like a rocket of filled with glitter instead of lava.

Here are a couple of glass net floats. They always seem to pop up in Tiki culture, so I added a couple to the Wall. 

Please ignore the layer of dust coating the tops of them.

Here's a pair of those sad-eyed kid paintings that were so popular in the 1970s. Marvel at the innocence contrasted with pathos. Classic, stylish and timeless. These were antique store finds.

My mom bought this for me because she thought it was a Tiki. It looks more African inspired to me, but I like it and it's close enough to warrant a place of honor on the Wall.

This is the latest addition to the wall: a bullfighter on black velvet. In my opinion a home cannot have too many black velvet paintings.

The detail! The technique! The theme of man against nature! All add up to make an exquisite statement.
 

A pair of ceramic owls straight out of the 1970s. Owls were big back then for some reason. These were bought at a church rummage sale.

This is a large (about three feet tall) Tiki mask carved by my pal KW Monster. He gave it to me for Xmas one year. It's technically not part of the Wall, but it's in the same room. It's one of my most prized possessions.

I thought it looked a little bare when I hung it up, so I went to Pier One and bought some wooden place mates, tied them together and hung them behind the mask.

Those wooden place mats make good wall decorations, but they would be absolutely worthless on your dining room table, unless you like your glasses to topple over and food to get stuck between the slats.

Again, this technically isn't part of the Wall, as it's located on top of my TV set, but I'm including it anyway. It's a TV light from the 1950s, shaped like a crouching panther.

What's a TV light, I hear you asking? It seems that when TV first appeared back in the 1950s, doctors worried that staring at the bright screen in a darkened living room would cause eyestrain and you would "ruin your eyes."

Oh, how I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase when I was growing up. According to my mom, everything I did as a kid would ruin my eyes, including reading and looking at things. Who knows, maybe she was right. I'm wearing glasses right now...

Anyway, to combat the dreaded scourge of eyestrain, doctors suggested placing some sort of light near the TV set to alleviate the contrast. Thus, the TV light was born. On the back side of the panther is a small light bulb, which shines on the wall behind the TV, eliminating the horrible contrast and saving your eyes. Yeah, people worried about some weird crap back then.

Best of all, it still works!

Here we have a large 1970s era print of a tiger. When I bought it at a local antique store, it was just a plain canvas. My pal KW Monster made a frame for it out of real bamboo, which is probably worth more than the print.

The crown jewel of the Wall collection, The Lenticular Astronaut Print.

The lenticular process results in a stunning 3-D recreation of a pair of astronauts working on the surface of the moon. As you move across the room the angle of the image shifts; you can actually see details behind the two astronauts.

Not only is it breathtaking, but it was also free. I saw it hanging in my dad's garage a while back and when he noticed me admiring it and gave it to me.

I'm A Grown Man And I Bought This: Friday The 13th Hockey Mask

I know it's a couple of days late for Halloween, but I thought I'd do a review of the official Jason Vorhees Friday The 13th Hockey Mask.

I picked this up a while back at Toys R Us for around $29, which is not a bad price for a full sized prop these days.

I'm by no means a scholar of all things Jason, but as near as I can tell this is a replica of his mask from Friday The 13th: Part III. You can tell this because the mask is intact; in subsequent films there was a large slice in the upper left corner of it as it became increasingly damaged as the series went on.

If you're into cosplay this probably wouldn't be the best choice for a Jason mask. It's intended more as a prop or a display piece than an actual wearable mask. It seems to be made out of resin rather than plastic, and is quite heavy. It's wearable, but its weight tends to make it want to droop off of your face. Be careful if you hang it on your wall; it feels like it might shatter if you dropped it on a hard floor.

As I mentioned earlier, I've not studied the movies frame by frame, but the mask looks accurate to me and is sculpted well. The aging and wear is well done, giving it the appearance of an old and worn object, rather than a brand spanking new item.

SPOILERS! Did you know that Jason didn't actually don his iconic hockey mask until the THIRD movie in the series? In the original Friday The 13th Jason doesn't even appear until the last ten seconds or so, and when he does he's sans mask. Then in Friday The 13th: Part II he wears some sort of burlap sack over his head. He doesn't put on the infamous hockey mask until halfway through the third outing.

As I said, the mask is wearable, and yes, I've tried it on. I debated whether or not to include a photo of myself wearing it, but ultimately decided no. I'm going to be looking for a new job soon and the last thing I need is a photo of me wearing a Jason mask on the internet to scare away potential employers.

"Rise Of The Cybermen" Cyberman

Here's an illustration of the most recent Cyberman design that first appeared in the 2006 Doctor Who episode Rise of the Cybermen.

Unlike the previous Cybermen who came from the planet Mondas, these Cybermen originated on a parallel Earth.

The Doctor, Rose and Mickey Smith are traveling in the Tardis when it suddenly slips through a crack in the Time Vortex. They land on a parallel Earth that's similar to our own, but with a few differences. Huge zeppelins fill the skies of London, the populace wears ear pieces that beam info directly into their brains, and Rose's father Pete is still alive.

Elsewhere, a billionaire named John Lumic, head of Cybus Industries, is working on a secret project to perfect a cybernetic body. Lumic is dying and plans to place his brain in one of these bodies before his time is up. He experiments on London's homeless, transforming them into an army of cyborgs. Naturally they revolt against their creator and a new race of Cybermen is born.

These new Cybermen didn't stay in their own dimension for long; they soon spilled over into our Earth as well.

I like the design of these new Cybermen, although their look appears to owe more than a little to Iron Man. For once the show had the budget to make suits that appeared to be made from actual metal, rather than dressing actors in silver jumpsuits as they did in years past.

By the way, the large letter "C" on their chest plates stands for Cybus Industries, not Cybermen.

As you've probably gathered by all the recent Cyber posts, I'm working on a project involving the Cybermen. It's not quite ready to post yet though.

This is a vector drawing, done entirely in InDesign.