Friday, October 8, 2010

Get Your Red Hot Brains Here!

The annual Fall Festival is going on this week in my city of Evansville. You can get pretty much any kind of food there that you can think of, as long as it’s fried.

The most popular item, and one of Evansville’s few claims to fame, is the Fried Brain Sandwich. They’re pork brains, by the way, not human. People will stand in line for hours for one of these sandwiches, as you can see above. Why, I have no idea. I’ve never tried one. And I never will.

I know what you’re thinking. “But Bob, you spent two weeks in China. You ate octopus and cow stomach! Why are you balking at a simple pig brain patty?” You’re right. I did eat octopus and cow stomach in China. But I’ve got to draw the line somewhere, and pig brains on a bun is it. There’s just something about the idea of eating the brain of a once-living creature that makes me queasy. Maybe it’s something to do with all the zombie movies I’ve seen over the years.   

There’s also the matter of the smell. You can smell the brains frying as you walk through the Festival. It’s a horrible, gag-inducing smell. Imagine a wet dog wearing moldy gym socks, rolled in batter, dipped in mushrooms and then fried in hot oil and you’ll have an idea of what they smell like.

Fans of the sandwich will defend it with their lives, and that’s fine. Diversity is what made this country great before it fell apart. Just keep your brain sandwich as far away from me as possible. Downwind, too.


  1. well i would say that fryed pig brain sandwhich is the perfect place to draw the line.

  2. It seems like every year the Festival tries to outdo itself with bizarre, gag-inducing foods. This year the most infamous item was Deep Fried Turkey Testicles. No, that's not a typo. I figured that since all male birds' junk is internal that a turkey would have tiny little testicles, but apparently they're about the same size as a human's. Gross.

    The other noteworthy item this year were donut burgers. They take a glazed donut, slice it in half and use it as the bun on a burger. And then we wonder how we got to be the fattest nation in the solar system.

    They'll pretty much fry anything at that festival. Next year I fully expect to see fried doorknobs and air filters.


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