Sunday, August 26, 2012

Tales From The Grocery: Mexican Coke

A year ago I got a second job as a cashier at a grocery store in order to pay off some bills. It was a miserable, humiliating and demoralizing experience in every measurable sense, and I got the hell out of there as soon as my bills were paid. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who has to work in such a place.

Here is a terrifying Tale From The Grocery. Please note that all Tales are 100% true.

A woman came through my checkout line and bought four bottles of Mexican Coke. As you're no doubt aware, American Coke products all contain the dreaded high fructose corn syrup, while Mexican Coke still contains good old fashioned cane sugar. Many people say they can tell the difference and that the Mexican version tastes far superior.

As I rang up her items I decided to go against my better judgement and speak to her. I said “Gonna try the Mexican Coke, eh?” Instead of saying something like, “Yes, I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about,” she said in a quavering, worried voice, “D-do you think they’re OK to drink? I know you’re not supposed to drink their water down there, b-but do you think their Cokes are all right? Do you think they might make me have diarrhea?”

Sigh... That’s what I get for trying to make small talk with customers.

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