Monday, October 5, 2015

This Week In Inappropriate Ad Campaigns

This week in inappropriate ad campaigns we have toilet paper powerhouse Charmin, with their brand new slogan "Enjoy the go."

Wow. That's some slogan, alright. It's not every day a multi-million dollar corporation like Charmin encourages us all to enjoy taking a sh*t? Yes. Yes, I think they did.

Here's the full text of the slogan on Charmin's actual website:
Sit back, relax and enjoy the go. 
Life is full of little pleasure.
Watching the sunset. A hug from your kids. Walking barefoot in the sand.
And going to the bathroom.
Trouble is, you might not always take the time to enjoy these little moments as much as you should. 
Especially when it comes to going to the bathroom. 
At Charmin, we want you to enjoy going to the bathroom as much as we do. The relief. The calm. The clean. The joy. The pride.
And we believe you can't do that if you finish it all off with the wrong tissue. Which is why we make a tissue that's just right for everybody.
That's why Charmin users actually look forward to going to the bathroom; why they enjoy being in there; and why they aren't afraid to show it.
Fact is, we all go to the bathroom. Those who go with Charmin really Enjoy The Go.
Wow, get a feel for that finely crafted literature. It's like poetry to the ears. Whoever wrote that was a talented wordsmith indeed.

"Enjoy the go." What the hell does that even mean? Is that supposed to be English? Who wrote this, Superman's enemy Bizarro? Although I suppose since Bizarro always does the opposite of whatever's normal, he'd actually be wiping sh*t on himself instead of scraping it off with a wad of thin paper.

I'd give a month's pay to have been able to sit in on this brainstorming session. I bet it was really something to witness. Apparently the marketing team at Charmin is completely out of ideas, and decided to leave their new campaign up to the CEO's thirteen year old son.

Of course what else could we expect from a corporation that dumped the fetishistic Mr. Whipple for a troupe of cartoon bears that sh*t in the woods?

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