Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Not A Moment 2 Soon!

Good news today, folks! Our long national nightmare is FINALLY overCBS just announced it's canceling 2 Broke Girls! Huzzah! Pity it took them six seasons.

I freely admit I've never watched an entire episode of this "show." I probably saw a grand total of five minutes of it over the past six years, as I waited for other shows to start. I'd see the occasional promo for the series here and there, and my god, even those were shockingly vulgar. 
It's like the show was written for and by horny fourteen year old boys.

For example, here's just a sampling of the show's "hilarious" brand of humor:

Blonde Broke Girl:
"How far should I go on the first date?"
Other Broke Girl: "Anal?"
(Stay classy, CBS!)

Other Broke Girl: "You just made it in to Oleg's 'spank bank!"
Oleg: "Congratulations!"

Other Broke Girl: (as she tries vaping for the first time) "This is silly. If. If I'm gonna suck on something this hard and get no pleasure out of it, I should just date."
(Congratulations, CBS! You just brought the blowjob joke to Prime Time TV!)

Blonde Broke Girl: "You're lucky I edited your application."Other Broke Girl: "Why? What was so bad?"Blonde Broke Girl: "You requested to work in Santa's sex toy shop. Max, that's not even a thing."

Other Broke Girl: "Tell that to my candy-cane shaped vibrator."Blonde Broke Girl: "Max!"Other Broke Girl: "I call it "Santa's big helper!"
(Yep, nothing goes together like Xmas and vibrator jokes!)

Blonde Broke Girl: "Max, the guy is coming right now."Other Broke Girl: "That's the first time anyone's been polite enough to announce that to me."
(You can practically feel the writer straining here as he bends over backward trying to make a "joke" out of this)

Other Broke Girl: "Oleg, Sophie is just feeling a little smothered."
Oleg: "She feels smothered? Have you ever tried motorboating those cans of hers?"
Other Broke Girl: "Once, but I was very drunk at the time."
(Jesus Christ, now they're doing motorboating jokes on TV!)

Blonde Broke Girl: "Oh, a surprise party. Isn't this sweet, Max?"Other Broke Girl: "I don't trust it. Last time Oleg yelled "surprise" at me, his penis was on a hot dog bun."
(HAW HAW! Indecent exposure and sexual harassment in the workplace is hiLARious!)

Ace: Hey, you know what's cool? Other Broke Girl: Short guys with big penises?
(That's... that's not even a joke...)

Max Black: "Stop fighting it; just give in to it. I don't know why I'm quoting a rapist... "
(From what I could tell, this show features an uncomfortably high number of rapist "jokes")

Sexual innuendo can be funny when it's clever and done right. There's no subtlety here though. It's just a bunch of unpleasant characters blurting out sexual positions and names of various orifices. Jeezus, you don't have to be a prude to think that this crap isn't funny.

Good riddance, 2 Broke Girls!

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