Sunday, February 25, 2018

One Fine Day In The Glad Products Company Headquarters

Glad CEO: "Oy, my ulcer."

Art Director: "What's wrong, Boss?"

Glad CEO: "I just saw our fourth quarter earning reports, and they ain't good. Worst I've ever seen."

Art Director: "Why do you think that is, Boss?"

Glad CEO: "It's these damned millennials. All they think about is saving the planet this, and environment that. They're just not buying non-recyclable plastic bags."

Art Director: "Maybe we could come up with a way to get 'em to start."

Glad CEO: "That'd be great, but how? How can you convince a tree-hugging millennial to buy plastic bags?"

Art Director: "That's easy! What's the one thing millennials love more than anything in the world?"

Glad CEO: "Posting photos of their food?"

Art Director: "OK, what's the second thing they love most?"

Glad CEO: "Becoming easily offended by nothing?"

Art Director: "Heh. OK, third?"

Glad CEO: "Um... avocado toast?" 

Art Director: "Bingo! All we gotta do to get 'em to start buying our bags is plaster our box with avocados, and the sales'll skyrocket!"

Glad CEO:: "Johnson, you're a genius!"

This was a true story.

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