M-I-C, K-E-Y, H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y!

Hey, remember last year when Disney discovered that Guardians Of The Galaxy 1 & 2 director James Gunn tweeted some bad jokes ten years ago? And how they decided that "he was no longer in line with their family values" or some sort of bull hockey, and they summarily fired him?

Welp, this week it was revealed that Gunn may be persona non grata on the Disney lot, but apparently they've decided to film his Guardians Of The Galaxy 3 script!

So in summary:

Disney in 2018: "Oh my god, James Gunn made a couple of tasteless jokes ten years ago! He's a horrible, perverted pedophile of the highest order and we refuse to have someone like that associated with our family-friendly empire! We're firing him immediately!"

Disney in 2019: "Say, that script James Gunn wrote ain't half bad! Put that in production, stat!"

F*ck you, Disney. If his script's worth filming, then why the hell did you fire him in the first place? Hire him back, stat!

Enjoy Infinity War 2, kids, as I have a feeling it's gonna mark the end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe as we know it. Everything after that's gonna be accompanied by the sound of a falling slide whistle as the entire franchise crashes and burns.

The Thrill Of The Galaxy

This month, British crooner Sam Smith released his second album, titled The Thrill Of It All.

The album features the Grammy-winning artist's signature haunting vocals, as he sings soulful ballads teaming with heartache and loss. Critics and fans both have praised the album as Smith's best yet.

When asked what he planned to do next, Smith announced he would continue to play the part of Kraglin, a member of the Ravagers in Marvel's popular Guardians Of The Galaxy films.

That Takes Guts!

This week, Hasbro unveiled their new line of Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 action figures, part of their Marvel Legends line. Yep, even though the movie doesn't come out until May of 2017, they're already marketing it.

Among the figures in the line is Yondu, as played by actor Michael Rooker. Yondu had a fairly large role in the first film, and I remember being dismayed that for some reason he was missing his traditional red fin.

Looks like Marvel heard my complaints, and Yondu will now be be-finned in the sequel. Huzzah!

So what the heck's going on with this action figure, I hear you ask? What's the deal with that rubbery... thing protruding from Yondu's hip? I think that's supposed to be his magic arrow. If you'll remember, in the first film Yondu had some sort of high-tech arrow that could fly, and which he controlled by whistling. 

I believe that's what's going on here, based on the figure's oddly puckered lips. I think the squiggly pink plastic ribbon is supposed to represent the arrow's contrail as it flies through the air.

Either that or the arrow somehow got caught on Yondu's intestines, and is unspooling them out of his gut as it flies away. Now that I think about it, that seems the more likely explanation. Yep, definitely alien intestines. 

Daddy Issues Continued

Last week at the San Diego Comic Con, Marvel Studios released a ton of new info about their slate of upcoming movies.

Writer/Director James Gunn hosted a panel on Guardians Of The Galaxy 2, and at long last revealed that Kurt Russell will be playing the father of Star-Lord, aka Peter Quill. Awesome!

Russell's an inspired choice, as I could easily see him being father to Chris Pratt's character. Both have the same charismatic screen presence and cocky charm, and they even look a bit alike. In fact Pratt is sort of like the Kurt Russell of the new millennium.

On an odd note, Gunn stated that the character Russell's playing is Ego, The Living Planet. I honestly can't tell if Gunn is serious here or not.

In the comics, Ego is just what he sounds like— a gigantic, sentient planet that's alive. Kind of wondering how a planet can impregnate a woman, but I guess that's something we'll find out in the movie. Maybe Ego can possess random humanoids when he's feeling frisky?

I still think Ben Browder would have been a good choice for Peter Quill's father, especially since Farscape and Guardians Of The Galaxy are basically the exact same story.

Browder's John Crichton was a smart-alecky space pilot who constantly had to talk his way out of trouble. That pretty much exactly describes Pratt's Peter Quill character. In fact Pratt seemed to be channelling Browder's performance in Guardians. 

I knew this would never happen though. As much as I like Browder, he's just not a recognizable movie star, so his chances of being cast were slim to none. I'm happy with the Kurt Russell choice.

In other Guardians news, Michael Rooker, aka Yondu, released this photo of himself with his crew of Ravagers.

Looks like Yondu's finally getting his head fin! Woohoo!

That was one of my few complaints about Guardians Of The Galaxy. In the comics, Yondu is a blue alien with a large red fin on his head. For some reason, the movie version didn't have a fin. Instead he had what appeared to be a pale red soap dish glued to the top of his noggin.

I didn't get it. The movie already had a talking raccoon and a walking tree in it, but a guy with a fin on his head was a deal breaker? 

Glad to see Marvel Studios, stinging from the harsh words on my blog, has finally rectified this grievous error. 

Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3, Episode 19: Failed Experiments

Thanks to my state's election coverage Tuesday night, I missed about twenty minutes of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. and had to track it down and watch it online. Last week storms knocked it off the air, this week elections. Apparently the universe doesn't want me watching this show.

This week on Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Daisy's turn to the Dark Side seems complete, as she attacks her former friends and colleagues, coming very close to killing Mack in the process. We also get a low budget visit from the Kree, May flirts with Hellfire and Hive Ward finally reveals his Master Plan, setting up the season finale.

A few weeks ago in Parting Shot, Mockingbird and Hunter were written out of the show, so they could star in their own series, Marvel's Most Wanted. It seemed like a boneheaded decision to me. Mockingbird and Hunter were two of the best characters on Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., but oddly enough I don't think they don't seem interesting enough to carry their own series.

Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way, because according to the interwebs, this week Disney/ABC is reportedly having second thoughts about going through with the Marvel's Most Wanted series. Which means Mockingbird and Hunter were written out for nothing!

Maybe they could pull a George Costanza and just return to the show without any explanation, saying, "Quit? We didn't quit! You thought we were serious?"

SPOILERS!

The Plot:

Thousands of years ago, a tribal hunter is chased and captured by two blue-skinned, alien Kree warriors. They bring him back to their spaceship and begin experimenting on him (as near as I can tell there are no anal probes involved). They inject some of their own blood into him, forcing him to undergo Terragenesis. And that, kids, is how I met your mother, er, I mean how Hive became the First Inhuman.

In the present, we see Hive Ward telling this story to Daisy, and the last three heads of HYDRA. He tells the HYDRA heads he's going to try and recreate the Kree experiment— on them. Gulp!

Back at S.H.I.E.L.D., FitzSimmons work on an antitoxin that will fight off Hive Ward's parasites. Simmons warns that the serum could kill an Inhuman before curing them. Lincoln volunteers to test the antitoxin, but Simmons forbids it. Coulson spots Daisy on a global camera feed (!), coming out of a garage in Wyoming. Mack says the entire town was bought by one of Gideon Malick's shell corporations, and they figure that's where Hive Ward is hiding. Coulson thinks it's a trap, as Daisy is too smart to allow herself to accidentally be caught on a security camera. Mack thinks she did it as a cry for help, and wants to be rescued. Coulson orders a strike on Hive Ward.

Meanwhile in Inhuman Town, Hive Ward has Dr. Radcliffe experiment on the HYDRA heads, by altering their DNA and exposing them to Terrigen all at once. Predictably things don't go well, as the HYDRA subjects' faces all melt off. Yikes!

Lincoln asks Coulson for permission to test the Inhuman antitoxin on himself. Coulson says no, and tells FitzSimmons to come up with another option. Mack gathers four redshirt S.H.I.E.L.D. agents we've never seen before to accompany him on the mission to Inhuman Town. Coulson tells the team they're to kill Hive, but avoid injuring the others if at all possible. Especially his precious Daisy!

Daisy, Hellfire and Alisha hang out in an Inhuman Town bar. James tries to get Daisy to dance with him, but she turns him down. He accuses her of still being in love with Lincoln, and loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D. Hive Ward is angry that the experiment failed. Dr. Radcliffe says he needs DNA from a living Kree host. Hive Ward activates the Kree Orb he got from Hellfire. Hive Ward asks Daisy if she can defeat S.H.I.E.L.D. She looks uneasy and says she's sure she can convince them to transform into Inhumans, which I'm sure they'd all just love. She says if they refuse transformation, she'll rip their hearts out.

To no one's surprise, Lincoln secretly injects himself with the antitoxin. FitzSimmons finds him writhing in pain as electricity shoots from his body and he collapses to the floor. Simmons tries to give him the antidote (there's an antidote to an antitoxin they don't know will work?), but he refuses it, saying he knows it's going to work.

May spots Hellfire in the bar by himself. She poses as a HYDRA security guard (?) and flirts with him until he tells her about Hive Ward's plan to change humans into Inhumans. She knocks him out and returns to Mack's team. They head toward what they think is Hive's location, inside a shed. Inside they find the Kree Orb, humming and glowing with light. Coulson, watching through a video feed, recognizes the writing on the artifact and tells the team to get out of there. They exit shortly before an object from space crashes into the shed, obliterating it.

Two blue skinned Kree exit from the debris. Hive Ward tells Daisy that he sent a signal to the Kree in order to get a sample of their blood for his experiment. He says these Kree are deadly Reapers, who live only to hunt. Hive Ward says they're his greatest fear, but with Daisy's help he believes he can defeat them, and collect their blood for the experiment.

One of the Reapers encounters Alisha and kills her (for good?). Mack and May follow it at a respectable distance, thinking it might do their work for them and kill Hive. It enters the garage lab and confronts Dr. Radcliffe. Daisy kills the Reaper with her powers and tells Radcliffe to drain its blood. Just then Mack enters and tells Daisy he's there to save her. She say she doesn't need saving, thanks, and says she's going to save humanity by turning everyone into Inhumans. Mack drops his gun and says he knows there's a part of her that wants to come back. When she says he's wrong, he destroys the Reaper and its blood. Enraged, Daisy attacks Mack.

The other Reaper tracks Hive Ward to a church. Hive battles the Reaper, while Daisy pummels the defenseless Mack. After a good five minute battle, Hive Ward stops fighting and absorbs the Reaper. So why didn't he do that in the first place? One of the S.H.I.E.L.D. redshirts fires a rocket at Hive Ward, which severely injures him, but he heals in seconds. May calls for a retreat. They find Daisy about to kill Mack, and May shoots her. They drag Mack into a waiting Wonkavator and fly off. Hive Ward finds the injured Daisy and cradles her (but sadly doesn't shake his fist at the heavens and shout, "WHY?").

Simmons tells Lincoln the mission to rescue Daisy failed, and that the antitoxin didn't work. Double bummer.

Hive Ward tells Daisy he's disappointed in her, and criticizes her for not collecting the Kree blood. She tells him she's finished with S.H.I.E.L.D. once and for all, and says he has all the Kree blood he needs, thanks to the transfusion Coulson gave her back in Season 1.

Thoughts:

• Hive Ward finally reveals his master plan this week, and it's a doozy. According to him, as long as there's violence, there can never be peace on Earth (I certainly can't argue with him there!). To eliminate said violence, he plans to turn everyone on Earth into an Inhuman. He believes that if everyone has superpowers they'll all be equal and there'll be no more violence. Several things here:

Hive Ward needs Kree blood to turn humans into Inhumans. Where the hell's he going to get enough blood to mutate seven billion people? Does he plan on wiping out most of the human population before he gets started?

Secondly, once everyone becomes Inhuman, will he infect them all with his spores and control them? Is that even possible? Let's hope so, because all Inhumans are not created equal. Daisy and Lincoln both possess very formidable powers. Other Inhumans much less so. Like Raina, for instance. Her power was clairvoyance, which is a very passive ability. There are probably some with even weaker powers, like the ability to smell like grilled cheese sandwiches.

How long would it be before the powerful Inhumans started pushing the weaker ones around? Once the weak ones were gone, the remaining strong ones would no doubt start battling one another for superiority. 

As I said, Hive Ward would probably infect all the Inhumans and control their minds. But Daisy's possessed, and she still shows quite a bit of autonomy, even refusing to kill Fitz when she had the chance last week. I don't think even Hive could stop violence from returning.

• Hive Ward has a second plan that's even more nonsensical. He needs Kree blood for his Inhuman experiment to work. To get it, he signals two Kree Reapers and lures them to Earth. Note that the Reapers are the most brutal hunters in the galaxy, and the one thing in the universe that Hive fears. What a great idea! That's like finding out you need bullets, so you dis a couple of gang members and dare them to shoot at you.

• Daisy asks Hive Ward why he was banished to Maveth. He says, "People saw the connection I had with other Inhumans, and that made them afraid. That fear bred paranoia, which lead to civil war. I see what you did there, Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. writers.

Hive Ward then discusses his Inhuman philosophy, saying, "Only billionaires can build iron suits. Only the military can make super soldiers, which can only lead to a war of its own." Okay, okay, we get it guys! Captain America: Civil War opens this week!

• Hive Ward meets with the last three faithful heads of HYDRA, who might as well be wearing red shirts. He tells them he's going to reward them for their faith. Hilariously, they actually look like they're honored by this, until he tells them they'll be the first to be mutated into Inhumans. Then they're all, "Um... mutated into what now?"

• Predictably, the Human To Inhuman experiment goes terribly wrong, as the heads of HYDRA all have their faces melted off, ala Raiders Of The Lost Ark.

Jesus Christ, this scene was absolutely horrifying! That's got to be one of the most gory and shocking things I've ever seen on network TV. I'm gonna be haunted for days by this scene!

• To get the alien blood he needs for his Inhuman experiment, Hive Ward activates the Orb, which signals two Kree Reapers. They arrive on Earth literally minutes later.

So were the Kree Reapers stationed above Earth for decades or even centuries, just waiting for the moment they'd be needed? Did they just happen to be passing through our neck of the galaxy? They'd pretty much have to be, as there's no way in hell the signal could have reached them in another solar system and they could have got here in less than an hour. Heck, even with warp drive, it still takes the Enterprise a while to get from one system to another.

• When Hellfire flirts with May, he tells her he's thirty three. Really? He looks like he's in his forties to me. Actor Axle Whitehead, who plays Hellfire, is currently thirty five. Must be that intense Australian sun prematurely aging him.

• Apparently the show blew its makeup budget for the season. Those Kree Reapers were less than impressive, looking like they stepped off the set of the latest Siffy Channel movie.

Seriously, I've seen better looking cosplayer makeup and costumes at comic conventions.

• Two Alishas attack one of the Reapers, and he easily kills them both. So... is that the end of her? Or is there still an Alisha Prime hiding out somewhere who can make more copies of herself? It's never made clear in the episode.

• So who are these four nameless S.H.I.E.L.D. grunts who suddenly pop up this week? Are they potential replacements for Mockingbird and Hunter? Whoever they were, I was amazed that they all survived the episode. I was sure they were introduced as redshirts just so the show could kill someone besides the main cast.

For quite a while now the series has been coy about just how many S.H.I.E.L.D. agents there really are. There's the core cast, of course, but there's always a bunch of people milling around in the background of their headquarters. Are they agents as well? Technicians? Security? Who knows?

• I guess the S.H.I.E.L.D. base got better after Daisy virtually destroyed it a couple weeks ago. This week everyone's gearing up for the assault on Inhuman town, and the base looks perfectly intact.

• Mack continues his tradition of getting knocked on his ass again this week. At least this time it was somewhat plausible, as Daisy used her quake powers on the hulking agent.

• Hive Ward faces his deadliest fear and battles the other Kree Reaper in the church. He even gets his ass handed to him a couple of times before he rallies. He finally ends the fight by simply using his spores to dissolve the Reaper. So... why didn't he just do that in the first place? Does he have a flair for theatrics?

It reminded me of every episode of Power Rangers. A monster would attack, so the Rangers would battle it to a standstill. Then it would grow to giant size, so they'd summon the Magazord and fight it to a standstill again. Then they'd materialize their Power Sword, which would finally kill the monster. They could have saved a lot of time and effort if they'd have used the Power Sword in the first place.

• Best line of the episode:
Simmons, talking about Hive Ward: “I had to shoot him three times just to shut him up.”

Earth-1 And Earth-2 Collide

This is James Gunn, director of 2014's Guardians Of The Galaxy.

This is actor Tom Cavanagh, who currently plays Dr. Harrison Wells on The Flash.

Look at 'em! I pretty sure they're the same person. Gunn apparently uses a stage name when he auditions for acting gigs in his spare time.

Either that, or Tom Cavanagh is the Earth-2 version of James Gunn!

Daddy Issues

It was almost exactly one year ago that I reviewed Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy. I liked the movie quite a bit, and it's become one of my all-time favorites. I've watched the blu ray at least a dozen times since it came out.

That said, despite my love for the film, even I have to admit that it's pretty much just a big-budget version of Farscape.

Both feature an Earth man who gets transported to the other side of the galaxy and becomes part of a crew of wacky aliens on the run from a space empire (and everyone else). It's the exact same characters and story! There's the smart ass human leading man, the beautiful and deadly female assassin, the stoic, hulking alien strongman, the wisecracking diminutive alien, and the serene plant-like alien.

That got me to thinking... 

At the very end of Guardians, we find out that Peter Quill (played by Chris Pratt) is actually only half human. His father was apparently an extraterrestrial who visited Earth long enough to knock up his mother before returning back to space.

Obviously the identity of Peter's father is a huge deal, and will be dealt with in the sequels.

So here's my idea. Wouldn't Ben Browder of Farscape fame be the perfect choice to play Peter's father? Think about it. Browder's John Crichton was a smart-alecky space pilot who constantly had to talk his way out of trouble. That pretty much exactly describes Pratt's Peter Quill character. In fact Pratt already seems to be channelling Browder's performance.

Heck, Browder and Pratt even look remarkably alike. 

One small hiccup— Browder's only sixteen years older than Pratt, which makes him a bit young to play his father. A little bit of old age makeup would solve that problem though.

As cool an idea as this is, it'll never happen of course. Marvel no doubt will want to cast some distinguished older actor in the part, ala Michael Douglas in Ant-Man. Still, we can all dream.

C'mon, James Gunn! You're the director of these films. Make this happen! Don't make us stage a riot. You wouldn't like us when we're ang... whoops! Wrong movie!

Hooked On A Feeling Update

A while back Marvel released the awesome Guardians Of The Galaxy soundtrack on CD.

This week they announced they're releasing the soundtrack in its original format– on cassette tape. The way it was meant to be heard, just like in the film.

As an added bonus, the tape cover will even look like it did in the movie, as if it was written by Star-Lord's mother! 

Can an Awesome Mix Vol. 2 be far behind?

Although this news makes me happy and I'm a fan of all things retro, it just occurred to me that I won't be able to play it, as unfortunately I no longer own a tape player.

Cue the "Sad Bruce Banner Hitchhiking At The End Of Every Incredible Hulk Episode" music.

Too Little, Too Late, Too Much

This week a company called Dragon Studios announced they're finally making a Baby Groot figure from this summer's mega-hit Guardians Of The Galaxy.

Talk about timely! The film premiered August 1, and the figure's due to be released in November, when the horse will not only be out of the barn, but down the road and well into the next county.

Why in the name of Stan Lee's Toupee was this toy not available when the movie first came out? Heck, they could have set up a card table outside every theater showing it and sold millions of these things to eager fans with money in their pockets. Marvel really dropped the ball here. I'm betting that someone in their marketing department probably received a hearty firing over this lack of foresight. 

Anyway, at long last you can get your Groot fix with this pre-painted model kit. The press release says it's scanned from the actual prop used in the film, so if you demand screen accuracy in your cinematic replicas, you're in luck. Baby Groot is seven inches high, and it's not clear what they mean by that. Is Baby Groot himself is seven inches high? Or do they mean the entire thing, pot and all, is seven inches? If I had to guess, I'd say the latter.

Now for the bad news: the Baby Groot model doesn't do anything. Doesn't move, doesn't squeak, doesn't sway to the rhythm of The Jackson 5ive's I Want You Back. Doesn't do anything but sit on your shelf and look cute. Disappointing!

And then there's the price tag. The Baby Groot model kit will set you back a whopping $80! Eighty smackers! Holy crap! That seems like excessive for a piece of simulated wood that doesn't even dance. Or massacre a corridor full of alien soldiers with a smile on its face. Or form a protective cocoon around you with its branches.

I wouldn't mind having a Baby Groot to collect dust on my own shelf, but between the ultra delayed release date and the week's worth of groceries price, I'm gonna have to pass.

Hooked On A Feeling

It's official! The Guardians Of The Galaxy soundtrack is now the number one selling album in America! Woohoo!

According to Billboard, it sold over 100,000 copies last week and is notable for being the first soundtrack that contains nothing but previously released music to ever hit #1.

I couldn't be more pleased. The soundtrack is comprised of songs from the 1960s and 1970s, and they're all still just as catchy today as they were back in my youth. In fact most of the songs are still rattling around in my head nearly two weeks after I saw the film.

This confirms my belief that current pop music sucks. For a long time now I've thought that today's vapid, overproduced and auto tuned music is double plus ungood. But I couldn't tell if it was truly bad, or if it just seemed so to me because I'm getting old. After all, it's only natural to feel that things were better in the past.

But the success of this soundtrack would seem to indicate I'm right. What passes for music today is awful, the public's tired of it and they want songs containing actual human voices with talent. 

So I wonder who's buying this soundtrack? Is it oldsters like me on a nostalgia kick, or youngins discovering this music for the first time? Hopefully it's both.

For the record, here's what's on the soundtrack:

• Hooked On A Feeling by Blue Swede

• Go All The Way by The Raspberries

• Spirit In The Sky by Norman Greenbaum

• Moonage Daydream by David Bowie

• Fooled Around And Fell In Love by Elvin Bishop

• I'm Not In Love by 10cc

• I Want You Back by The Jackson 5ive

• Come And Get Your Love by Redbone

• Cherry Bomb by The Runaways

• Escape (The Pinã Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes

• O-O-H Child by The Five Stairsteps

• Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Tammi Terrell

It Came From The Cineplex: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians Of The Galaxy was written by James Gunn and Nicole Perlman, and was also directed by Gunn.

James Gunn is no stranger to the cineplex, as he wrote the screenplays for the live action Scooby-Doo movie and its sequel, Scooby-Doo: Monsters Unleashed (meh), along with the 2004 version of Dawn Of The Dead (yay). He also wrote and directed 2006's Slither (double yay).

The Guardians first appeared in the comics waaaay back in 1969, in Marvel Super-Heroes #18. Back then they had a completely different lineup and operated in the 31st century. I'm just guessing here, but I bet they were Marvel's answer to DC's Legion Of Superheroes. They appeared sporadically over the years, getting their own book in the 1990s and most recently in 2008 (which was cancelled in 2010, but will no doubt be returning soon). The film is loosely based on the 2008 version of the team, so don't rush out to the comic shop expecting to find a comic exactly like the movie (although that will probably change soon).

Many industry insiders were certain this film would be Marvel Studio's first big flop, as it featured a very obscure group of characters and its cosmic setting would be too weird for mainstream audiences. I don't know why anyone would think that– Marvel's already made two Thor films that feature alien gods living in a super-advanced He-Man world, and they were quite successful. Fortunately the film appears to have struck a cord with audiences, and is a huge hit. So suck it, naysayers!

The film is fast-paced, has a goofy (in a good way) tone and is probably the closest thing I've seen to the original Star Wars since, well, since 1977.

I hope Warner Bros. is watching this film on a continuous loop, studying every single frame. Marvel's superhero films are fun. DC's are full of mopey, navel-gazing "heroes" who resent their powers and kill more people than they save. Warner desperately wants their own Avengers-style franchise, but it's never going to happen unless they lighten up their movies a notch or twelve.

GALAXY SPANNING SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Plot:

In 1988, young Peter Quill is abducted from Earth by aliens. Cut to 26 years later when an adult Quill (played by Chris Pratt), who now calls himself Star-Lord, steals a mysterious orb from the planet Morag. Unfortunately for Star-Lord, pretty much everyone in the galaxy is after the orb as well, including Ronan The Accuser, a radical Kree who's working for the evil Thanos.

Star-Lord teams up with a group of alien misfits, including Gamora (played by Zoe Saldana), who's Thanos' adopted daughter, Drax The Destroyer (played by Dave Bautista), an alien whose family was killed by Ronan, Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper), a genetically engineered talking raccoon, and Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel), a large tree-like alien with multiple powers.

Together these misfits must keep the orb out of the hands of Ronan (and Thanos) while avoiding everyone else who's trying to kill them.

Thoughts:

• I think the thing I like best about Guardians is that it doesn't bog itself down with tedious origin stories. Star-Lord comes closest to getting a full blown origin as we see him get abducted as a child, but that's about all the background we get on him.

Each of the other characters got a line of two of explanation, and honestly that's all that was needed. Star Wars did the same thing. We knew next to nothing about Han Solo and Chewbacca, and we didn't need to. They appeared, we learned about them through their actions, and that was all we needed to embrace them.

I wish more superhero movies would follow Guardians' lead here. We don't need an entire film to explain a character's origin. A brief rundown is all that's necessary.

• A big part of the film's success is due to actor Chris Pratt, who lends his goofy charm and +12 charisma to Star-Lord. If you like Pratt on Parks And Recreation, you'll like him here as well. He'll next be seen in the upcoming Jurassic Park sequel/reboot/whatever it is, and I have a feeling that's only the beginning for him.

• Zoe Saldona is now the official Queen Of The SciFi Franchises. She's currently starring in 3, count 'em three huge scifi film series: Avatar, the rebooted Star Trek, and now Guardians. If you need a kickass hot space babe, apparently she's your go-to gal. 

Oddly enough Chris Pratt auditioned for the role of Jake Sully in Avatar, and James Kirk in the Star Trek reboot. It would have been cool if both he and Saldona had been in all three film series.

• Kudos to the effects team who brought Rocket to life. He looked absolutely real to me, and I never once doubted I was looking at a real raccoon (or at least a raccoon-like creature).

Props as well to Bradley Cooper, who voiced Rocket. When I first heard they'd cast him I thought, "Wow, could they have picked a more random and generic voice?" Who even knows what Bradley Cooper sounds like? After hearing him in action though, I think it was the right call. If they'd gone with some kind of wacky Bugs Bunny/Fozzie Bear kind of voice, it would have been too much.

Part of the credit should also go to Sean Gunn (James' brother), who provided the on-set motion capture for Rocket.

By the way, Rocket's been around in the comics since 1976, where he's always been referred to as "Rocket Raccoon." This is of course a nod to the Beatles' song Rocky Raccoon. Now suddenly he's just going with the singular Rocket, like he's Elvis or Cher. I have to wonder if the filmmakers shortened the name because they were afraid it would sound too silly for modern jaded audiences?

Lastly, what the heck is Rocket, anyway? Is he an Earth raccoon, captured and altered by aliens? Or are there animals on other planets that just happen to look like raccoons? Who altered him? Are they saving that for the sequel?

• I honestly wasn't expecting much from the Drax character, but he practically stole the show. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise. Dave Bautista is a professional wrestler, and they're all basically actors to start with, so...

• If I have one complaint about Marvel movies, it's that they don't go quite far enough. Take Captain America: The Winter Soldier, for example. There they included the Arnim Zola character, but he was just a plain old face on a monitor instead of a headless guy with a face on a TV screen in his chest, as in the comics. 

It's a similar situation here. In the comics Yondu has a big red fin on his head. Here he's got what looks like a pale red soapdish glued to the top of his skull. Embrace your weird side, Marvel! You've already got a talking raccoon in your movie. Are you telling me a guy with a fin head was a deal breaker? Go for it! Trust me, the audience can handle it.

• Speaking of Yondu... I like actor Michael Rooker quite a bit, but let's face it-- he's pretty much playing a blue Merle Dixon here. He even has a faux Southern accent! I guess he's from the Southern arm of the galaxy?

• One last thing about Yondu– in the comic he's a skilled archer, sort of like an American Indian, and can control the path of his arrows by whistling. He does that here in the movie as well, but without the bow.

Looking forward to an Avengers/Guardians crossover and Hawkeye vs. Yondu!

• I feel that this is the movie John Carter should have been. It's got a cool retro vibe, and as I've mentioned many times, it's just plain fun. If John Carter had been even a fraction as much fun as this film, we'd be watching Part 3 by now.

• Stan Lee makes his usual cameo appearance in the film, playing an aging Xandarian flirting with a young beauty. Troma Studios founder Lloyd Kaufman also makes a brief appearance when the gang is in space prison. Kaufman is a pal of director James Gunn, and has appeared in all his films.

• Back in 2007's Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, Marvel fans were gypped out of the chance to see Galactus on screen. Fox, who sadly owns the rights to the Fantastic Four, said that the sight of a giant alien in a purple space suit stomping around New York City would look silly and be laughed off the screen. Instead we got a Galactus that was nothing more than a bland, disappointing space cloud or storm or some damned thing.

Guardians Of The Galaxy shows us a brief scene of a Celestial (a race of mysterious gigantic aliens who judge other worlds) destroying a planet, and it looked amazing. There was nothing silly about it at all, and proves there was absolutely no reason why the FF movie couldn't have included a proper Galactus. 

Dear God, if you really exist, please let Marvel Studios reclaim the rights to the Fantastic Four so they can make the movie the characters deserve and we all want to see.

• So we now know the whereabouts of four of the six Infinity Gems. Two to go! 

It's pretty obvious at this point that Marvel is building up to a film adaptation of The Infinity Gauntlet. It was a 1991 comic miniseries in which Thanos gained possession of all six of the Infinity Gems (giving him virtually unlimited, god-like power) and battled Marvel's biggest superheroes. If this is indeed where they're going, it's going to be mind-blowing.

• We got a brief glimpse of Thanos at the end of The Avengers, and he finally appears here in all his suitably awesome glory. Most fans believe that Thanos will be the Big Bad in The Avengers 3. I can't wait!

• James Gunn is great at writing offbeat scripts with quirky characters, but... he can't direct a fight sequence to save his life. Many times during the battles I had no idea what was happening, or even who was fighting who and had to wait until it was over to see which side won. Maybe he needs to hire a stunt coordinator. Or watch some classic fight scenes to see how it's done.

• As much as I love this movie, I can't help feeling that it's pretty much just a big budget episode of Farscape. Earth man gets transported to the other side of the galaxy and becomes part of a crew of wacky aliens who are on the run from a space empire (and everyone else). It's the exact same characters and story! 

You've got the smart ass human leading man, the beautiful and deadly female assassin, the stoic, hulking strongman alien, the wisecracking diminutive alien, and the serene plant-like alien.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. There are no new ideas under the sun by this point in history. I just think it needs to be said.

• Star-Lord and Gamora pay a visit to the Collector, and outer space Liberace with a museum full of rare cosmic artifacts. This scene is a treasure trove of Marvel Easter eggs. 

Among the items in his museum is a Chitauri from The Avengers and one of the Dark Elves from Thor: The Dark World. Supposedly Adam Warlock's cocoon (from the comics) is in there as well, along with a space slug from James Gunn's Slither. Some say they saw Beta Ray Bill (don't ask) in the museum, but it hasn't yet been confirmed.

Cosmo the Space Dog also makes an appearance in the museum. He's a test animal from the Russian Space Program and plays a big part in the comics. Kudos to the filmmakers for making the movie version look exactly like his comic counterpart.

• The film also features an awesome soundtrack full of 1970s and 1980s songs (which are all on Star-Lord's "Awesome Mix" cassette tape). Music from vocalists who could actually sing and didn't need autotune to record a song. 

• Marvel's "12%" in-joke makes another appearance here. In The Avengers, Tony Stark tells Pepper to give herself 12% of the credit for designing Stark Tower. She coyly brushes off his advances, saying they were having 12% of a moment. In Guardians, Star Lord says he has 12% of a plan.

• Peter Quill's prized possession is his 1980s Walkman, which he listens to constantly. He even risks his life to retrieve it from an alien guard.

I'm assuming he's found a way to recharge his double A batteries even though he's on the other side of the galaxy. Maybe he's found an alternate power source? Also, cassette tapes don't last forever. After over twenty years of constant use, his one and only cassette is probably in serious danger of breaking. He needs to transfer those songs to CD or whatever they have in space, pronto!

• Kudos to actress Karen Gillan, who plays Thanos' daughter Nebula. Gillan actually shaved her head to play the role!

• The film plays fast and loose with the effects of the vacuum of space, as Star-Lord leaps out of several airlocks while wearing just his street clothes and his trademark mask. At one point both he and Gamora drift unprotected in space for a few minutes before being rescued, and apparently suffer no ill effects afterward.

Scientists believe you could survive unprotected in space for about fifteen seconds or so before losing consciousness. You might survive a few minutes more before your blood began to boil. No one's a hundred percent sure how long you could survive though, as it's tough to find volunteers to test the theory.

We're talking about aliens and half-aliens here though, so who knows? Maybe they're not as vulnerable to the effects of open space.

One might question why I'm bothering to bring this up in the first place. It's a film about talking raccoons and walking trees, for god's sake, and I'm nitpicking this particular point? Well, yeah, I am. See, my suspension of disbelief is like a rubber band. It can only stretch so far. If you want me to buy a talking raccoon, fine. That's no problem. Throw in a walking tree and space gems and aliens who all speak English, and my disbelief gets stretched almost to its breaking point. Add in humans cavorting in the vacuum of space, and SNAP! It breaks. You have to ground your film at least a tiny bit in reality.

• At the end of the film we learn that Star-Lord is only half human (on his mom's side). So who's his daddy? In the comics his father is  someone called Prince Jason of the planet Spartoi, and I almost fell asleep before I got to the end of that sentence. I'm assuming they're planning something bigger and more exciting for the film, especially since his dying mother said his father was "an angel made of shining light."

• In the final act, Groot envelopes the rest of the team to save them from certain destruction. A teary-eyed Rocket begs him not to, as he'll die in the process. A few scenes later we see Rocket carrying a flowerpot containing a live cutting of Groot. 

Based on Rocket's initial reaction, I'm assuming he didn't know Groot could survive and regenerate. It feels like a scene's missing here; they needed a shot in which Rocket finds a piece of Groot and plants him.

• Why the hell is there no Dancing Groot toy? Seems like such a thing would be a no-brainer. Every kid that sees the movie would buy one. Marvel could be selling truckloads of them right now. Somebody in their marketing department dropped the ball big time.

• At the very end of the film we get a title card saying, Guardians Of The Galaxy Will Return. Just like in a James Bond movie!

• The after credits scene features Howard The Duck, of all characters. He was voiced by an uncredited Seth Green.

When Howard first appeared in his eponymous comic, Disney went ballistic and threatened to sue Marvel, saying he looked way too much like Donald Duck. Which was true. He did look a lot like him. Same curved beak, blue hat and blue jacket with no pants. Disney demanded a list of changes to the character's look, which Marvel implemented.

Now that Disney owns Marvel though, I wonder if all is forgiven and it's OK to use Howard again? Could we even see another, better Howard The Duck movie someday? Time will tell I guess.

Guardians Of The Galaxy is a fast-paced space adventure in the vein of the original Star Wars, but most of all it's just plain fun. I give it an A-.