Showing posts with label presidential election. Show all posts
Showing posts with label presidential election. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Unpresidented!

Back on December 6, CNN released this book, which tells the story of the massive dumpster fire that was the 2016 presidential election.

Apparently Glorious Leader Trumpy just now became aware of the book, and of course was compelled to tweet his feelings about it.

I have a feeling he most likely never even cracked it open to look at its contents, as the only thing he had to say about it was that CNN "used worst cover photo of me!"

Oh, Donald. You really don't understand how the internet works, do you?

All things considered, the official photo CNN used doesn't look that bad. Especially when you consider what they had to work with. You think that cover was bad, Donald? Challenge accepted! I can make much, MUCH worse looking covers!

Like this one, featuring my all-time favorite image of Trump. Now THAT'S a cover, Don!

Below are fifteen more alternative Unprecedented covers that are even worse. Be careful what you wish for, Trumpy!















Note: After posting this, I fully expect Trump's secret police to bust down my door tonight and drag me off to the gulag. If you don't hear from me for a few months, promise to avenge me! Get Bob Dylan to write a protest song about my plight!

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!











I hope to fuck you're all proud of yourselves.









Thanks everyone, for making America the laughing stock of the world. 

Whoop it up and celebrate while you can. I have a feeling your smug smiles will fade when, six months from now, Trumpy becomes bored with the job and lets Asshole Race Bannon run the country for him. 

Asshole Race Bannon was the worst and most-hated governor my home state of Indiana's ever had. The idea of him being so close to the man in charge of our country should chill every American to their very core. Trumpy just wants to grab your pussies, ladies. Asshole Race Bannon wants to legislate and control them. 

Better hurry and order all your same sex abortion cakes before they're outlawed. And they will be outlawed.

I wonder if Trumpy still thinks the election is "rigged?"

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Once Again I Participated In The Sham That Is Our Nation's Voting System!

For good or ill, I did my civic duty and got it over with.

I was sick to death of all the hype, debates and most of all the polls that claim both presidential candidates somehow have a simultaneous, commanding lead. I also wasn't looking forward to standing in line for hours on election day, so this past Friday I went to the library and voted early.

I've never voted early before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. There was a surprisingly heavy turnout! I ended up standing in line for maybe twenty minutes. By the time I left though, the line had tripled. Good thing I got there when I did!

While casting my ballot Friday it occurred to me that the voting process in this country is severely broken. I'm not talking about the Electoral College, although that arcane and convoluted system is indeed in need of an overhaul. No, I'm talking about the fact that the future of the country is decided by citizens
— myself included— who have no idea what the hell they're doing.

Most people know enough about the presidential candidates to make a relatively informed decision, and... that's pretty much it. After that there's a dizzying list of congressmen, senators, judges, councilmen, coroners and other officials who no one has ever heard of. If you're like me, you have absolutely no idea who any of these people are, what they stand for or what they plan to do if elected. 


The sad fact is, in this country our public officials are nominated and/or elected based on the acceptability or stupidity of their names. If you sport an atypical name that can momentarily pierce the stupefying veil of dance shows and reality TV that occludes the mind of the average voter and lodges tentatively in their dim consciousness, then you're a shoe-in. Congratulations, Jonathan Hampton III! You're elected! Sorry, Mervin Throbwilter. Back under the bridge with you!

God forbid they ever place the candidates' photos next to their names. Can you imagine? "Oh, he's dreamy! I'm voting for him!" Or "That woman looks like my shrew of an ex-wife! She's not getting my vote!" Let's hope whoever makes out the ballots never gets that bright idea.

Then there's the invariable list of propositions and other questions at the end of the ballot. "Should Chauncy Endtable be retained as circuit court judge? Yes or no?" How the hell do I know? Did he do something really awful and that's why his job's on the line? Does he just not feel like going to all the trouble of campaigning and wants us to keep him in office? Who knows? I've never heard of the guy. I'll decide based on something scientific, such as yes if the person on my right is a male and no if female.

I consider myself fairly well informed but I don't know any of these names or issues on the ballot. I've got a job, a mortgage and I'm CEO here at Bob Canada's BlogWorld. I ain't got time to research this crap! If I don't have time then I know that 99% of the rest of the population doesn't either. So we're all just clueless peasants deciding the future of our communities and our country based purely on whim. No wonder our nation's so messed up.

I don't really have an answer to this dilemma. Maybe each voter should be quizzed by election officials before being turned loose to vote. Each citizen would be asked a few simple questions about a candidate or proposition and if they can't answer them, then they don't get to vote. Of course that would result in election returns that resemble soccer scores, but... it might be better than the coin-flipping that goes on now.


I've asked this before, but it was never more relevant than now... Do we even NEED a President?

Think about it. No matter how passionate their speeches, no matter how sweeping or revolutionary their platforms, neither candidate has any earthly intention of keeping any of the outlandish and unlikely promises they've made. Heck, the candidates themselves probably don't even know what they stand for. Their positions and stances and even the color of their ties are carefully calculated by teams of speechwriters, image consultants and wranglers.

Then of course there's the fact that whoever's elected spends approximately one, maybe one and a half years of his four year term actually governing. The rest of his term is spent campaigning for reelection. There will be no decisions of note made during that period, believe you me.

So what if we just forgot about the election and tried living without a President for a while, just to see how it goes? Congress and the Senate could pick up the slack, and we could all go on with our daily lives, trying to stretch our meager paychecks in a desperate effort to make ends meet.

Think of the billions of dollars wasted on these ridiculous campaigns. Money that could be used to buy food, shelter and blankets with sleeves for the homeless. It makes me want to plotz.

I'd be very willing to give it a shot. And if it turns out that yes, we actually do need a president, then fair enough. We can start it all back up in 2020. I say we ought to try it.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Trumpy, You Can Do Stupid Things!

Wow, who knew that back in 1991, Joel was predicting the future?

By the way, I went to the library today and voted a couple weeks early. Can you guess who I may not have voted for?

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Congratulations, Universe!

Sorry for yet another political post. I'm trying not to discuss or think about the upcoming election, but everything about it has been so jaw-droppingly astonishing that it's hard not to.

Case in point: This week ultraconservative pundit and professional crackpot Glenn Beck officially denounced GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump. According to Beck:
"It is not acceptable to ask a moral, dignified man to cast his vote to help elect an immoral man who is absent decency or dignity. If one helps to elect an immoral man to the highest office, then one is merely validating his immorality, lewdness, and depravity.”
Wow! That is a rational, thoughtful and articulate statement. Are we sure it came from THE Glenn Back? 

Keep in mind that this is former Fox News host Glenn Beck we're talking about here— the same person who swore the US Government was building concentration camps for Christians, said President Obama hates white people, assured us that stem cell research will lead to a master race, called universities "Re-education Camps" and told families of 9/11 victims to shut up and stop complaining. 
And yet he's against Trump?
Congratulations, Universe. You win! You've officially beaten me down, and proved you're completely batsh*t insane.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Votes Are In!

I went to my local Target last night and noticed they're now selling Election Day Greeting Cards. Wha…? What the hell are you supposed to do with those? 

I've always thought that sending cards on St. Patrick's Day, Halloween and Thanksgiving was a stretch, but Election Day? Sheesh! What a waste of recycled paper! It's not like it's a cherished holiday, or an occasion to spend time with family and friends. It's a day when you get to take a couple hours off from work and pretend to go vote for one of two candidates you can't stand.

And what the hell do they even say? "Thinking of you on this beloved and most holy of Election Days. And if you vote for the other guy you're dead to me."

I can't wait to get one of these from someone so it can go straight from the mailbox to the trash can.

The only reason I can come up with for the existence of Election Day cards is monetary. Hallmark probably noticed a sharp drop in sales in early November, and rushed these cards into stores, hoping to trick a few gullible consumers into thinking it's an occasion for sending out a card.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Be He Ever So Humble

Sorry for yet another Trump/Pence (Trumpence?) post so soon. But merciful heaven, they just keep providing an embarrassment of ripe material.

Over the weekend, Trump and his human G.I. Joe action figure Mike Pence were interviewed by Leslie Stahl on CBS' 60 Minutes. The interview was pretty much the train wreck you'd expect, and was as fascinating as it was terrifying. 

Addressing Trump, Leslie Stahl said, "You're not known to be a humble man." Trump replied with, "I think I am actually humble. I think I'm much more humble than you would understand."

Let that statement sink in for a few minutes.

I'm pretty sure there was a Star Trek episode in which Spock said something like that to an android to make its head explode.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

My New Favorite Bumper Sticker

I didn't create this bumper sticker, but given the choice facing us all this November, I wholeheartedly agree with its message.
Related Posts with Thumbnails
 
Site Meter