Return The Snyder Cut!

After literally years of fanboy whining, Warner Bros. recently released the infamous "Snyder Cut" of their abysmal Justice League movie. 

Snyder's new Justice League: Do-Over restores his original vision of the film, adding deleted subplots and giving the characters some much needed backstory. It also inflated the runtime to an astonishing FOUR HOURS and three minutes (!).

This morning Snyder announced yet another new version of the film— this one in Black & White! 

For those keeping score at home, this is now the THIRD version of this miserable film.

I'm looking forward to next month, when Snyder releases Justice League: The Upside-Down Cut (in which the image is rotated 180º), Justice League: The Backwards Cut (in which the entire film is shown in reverse) and Justice League: The Slow-Motion Cut (in which the whole film is played at 1/8 speed, boosting the runtime to seventeen hours).

Additionally, The Snyder Cut was inexplicably presented in a 4:3 aspect ratio— as were most pre-1950s films. Now he's gone even further back, eliminating color and releasing a Black & White version.

It's only a matter of time before he deletes the soundtrack in his Justice League: The Silent Cut.

Lockdown, Scmockdown!

Today (March 24th) marks a somewhat grim milestone— it's the one year anniversary of the Covid Lockdown here in Indiana. Remember how the authorities assured us it was no big deal, and it'd only last for two weeks? Heh. What innocent babes we all were back then.

I have to admit I never imagined I'd STILL be wearing a mask everywhere I go an entire year later. 

Fortunately I was one of the lucky ones who got to keep my job and work from home— something for which I will be forever grateful. I honestly have no idea what I'd have done if I'd been laid off like so many others. I'd probably have lost my house and been forced to move in with my Dad, I suppose.

Anyway, for weeks before the lockdown we heard rumors and rumblings of a virus spreading throughout bigger cities. No one gave it much thought at the time though. Why would we? Whoever expected a worldwide pandemic was about to happen?

Then I noticed they started mounting dozens of hand sanitizer dispensers in strategic locations in the corridors at work. That seemed... ominous. Suddenly this whole pandemic business got a little more real.

By mid-March the concern began ramping up, as we began hearing reports that cities on the East & West coasts were closing schools, restaurants and movie theaters, as well as canceling sporting events. At my job, management began urging those who could work from home to do so.

Most workers in our building could simply take their laptops home with them and work there with little or no problem. Unfortunately it wasn't that simple for my department. We all have desktop Macs that are loaded with expensive software, and our files are located on a large server in the IT Department. Working from home just wasn't an option for us. 

I was fine with continuing to come into the office though, as the building would be virtually deserted and the danger would be minimal.

Then on March 23rd the Governor announced that the entire state of Indiana was going on mandatory lockdown. Suddenly my department didn't have a choice anymore— we HAD to start working from home.

Fortunately we found an app called Team Viewer, which allows you to connect one computer to another over the internet. It took a while to get it up and running properly, but eventually I was able to connect my home computer to my office one. I could see all my work files, use all our software and access our server— all from the comfort of home!

I set up a makeshift office on my kitchen table— the only place I had enough space to work. We then officially began working from home the next day on March 24th.

I won't lie— the first couple weeks were pretty rough, as it took a while for us to figure out how to work remotely. The biggest problem was communication— ordinarily if I had a question about a project I'd just get up and go ask someone about it. Couldn't do that when we were all sittin' in our individual houses! There were thousands of emails, texts and phone calls flying back & forth between everyone.

Somehow we eventually got the hang of it and it actually worked out. We managed to get all our work done, and on schedule too. Even better, the company's sales were surprisingly great! At times they were even higher than projected! 

Of course the lockdown ended up lasting far, FAR longer than the promised two weeks (which I knew would happen). In fact it stretched on for months and months, as the pandemic raged across the country. I have a feeling the authorities knew from the start it would last way longer than two weeks, but feared we'd all freak out and riot if they revealed that. So they dribbled the news to us a bit at a time, constantly extending the lockdown by an extra week or two.

Many people couldn't handle the isolation and solitude of the lockdown. Fortunately I didn't have a problem in that area. I've always been a loner, and have been living by myself for decades now. In a sense, I'd been training for this lockdown my entire life! Other than the fact that I was no longer driving to the office, little or nothing changed for me. In fact— at the risk of sounding perverse— I actually kind of enjoyed it!

For one thing, my house was far more quiet than our hectic office. For the first time in years I could work in peace without having to overhear dozens of banal and distracting conversations. It was heaven!

Even better, I got to sleep in an hour later each day, since I didn't have to drive to work. I had a lot more free time after work as well, since my evening commute consisted of getting up and walking out of the kitchen. That may have been the biggest perk for me.

Plus no commute meant less wear & tear on my rapidly aging car. And I spent much less on gas, as I went from filling up the car once a week to once a month— if that! Gas prices plummeted in my area, falling to under $2 per gallon at one point. That was great, except... I couldn't really take advantage of the low prices, as there wasn't anywhere to go!

Early on in the lockdown I would just roll out of bed, eat breakfast and then start working at my makeshift desk— often in the clothes I'd slept in. I found that whenever I didn't bother to get dressed or cleaned up, I was much less productive and... well, lazy. So I started treating the situation like a normal job, and showered, shaved and put on regular clothing every morning. I didn't necessarily dress up, mind you, but I wore something better than a t-shirt & boxers. I found that doing so increased my productivity and attitude quite a bit.

There were a couple personal downsides to the lockdown. As readers of my blog know all too well, I used to go see a movie once per week. Suddenly I couldn't go at all, which was a big adjustment. I missed going restaurants too, and eating every meal at home soon became a drag. On the bright side, I saved a sh*t ton of money by staying home.

And then there were the numerous shortages. The second the lockdown was announced, panic-buying began. It was a good two months before I saw any toilet paper in my local grocery. Luckily I was smart enough to buy a couple extra rolls right before the lockdown, so I had plenty to last me.

As a lifelong germaphobe, I'd accumulated a large supply of hand sanitizer long the pandemic began, so I was all set for that. Good thing too, as it was a lonnnnnnng time before any stores around me had any in stock.

I didn't wear a mask in public for the few weeks of the lockdown. Not because I was one of those "But Mah Freedoms" wingnuts, but because it was simply impossible to get one at first. I couldn't find them in any store, and on the rare occasion I found them online, they were ridiculously expensive. 

I ended up cobbling together a makeshift mask out of a bandana and rubber bands, and wore it to the grocery a few times. After that I finally found a website selling masks for a fairly reasonable price and ordered a box. After that I made sure I was always masked up whenever I went out.

We ended up working from home for about six months, from March 24 until September 8th. That's when management decreed we return to the office. I have no idea why they were so dead set on us coming back then, as the pandemic was still in full force at that time. In fact it was still raging wildly out of control in Indiana. I was NOT happy about going back to the office and needlessly risking my life— especially when working from home was going so smoothly.

They implemented all sorts of safety precautions in the office when we returned. Everyone had to mask up of course, which wasn't a problem, as I'd have done so even if it wasn't required. Even though I'm a militant proponent of wearing masks, I have to admit it became quite a drag after a while. There's a big difference between wearing a mask for half an hour while shopping for groceries, versus wearing on for a full NINE HOURS in an office. Phew!

We were also encouraged to constantly disinfect our desks, keyboards, phones and hands. Plus physical meetings were outlawed, the break room kitchen was closed, and on and on. The sheer number of safeguards and protocols seriously made me question why were back in the office in the first place. 

We continued to work in the office until mid-November. That's when management anticipated another spike, fearing that people would go home for the holidays and bring a big ol' load of Covid back to the office. In order to prevent that, we then went on a second lockdown and worked from home again.

Then for no good reason we returned to the office in mid-December. I questioned the wisdom of this decision, and predicted another holiday-fueled Covid spread would send us back home. And that's exactly what happened. We went on a third lockdown right after Xmas!

We eventually came back sometime in January, 2021. Then in February we were hit with a big ice/snow storm, which made traveling dangerous. So we were ordered to work from home a fourth time!

We're back in the office now, seemingly for good this time. Unless the virus mutates and cases spiral out of control again.

Superman & Lois Season 1, Episode 3: The Perks Of Not Being A Wallflower

This week on Superman & Lois we get another very well-done, action-packed and emotionally charged episode. I can't believe how much I'm enjoying this show, and how consistently good it's been. I keep expecting them to drop the ball any time now and give us a subpar outing, but so far it hasn't happened. This is most definitely the best of the Arrowverse series that's airing right now. The other shows could definitely take a page or two from it.

I'm particularly impressed with the writing on the series, and the way it handles its characters. Unlike typical The CW fodder, they feel and act like actual people. 

Case in point— this week Clark forbids his son Jordan to play football, fearing his burgeoning superpowers might accidentally hurt another player. His other son Jonathan speaks up, saying that Jordan actually likes football, and for the first time in ages seems happy about something. Rather than summarily dismiss his son's argument, Clark actually listens, puts himself in Jordan's shoes and changes his mind. 

In another scene, Lana worries about her daughter Sarah's mental state. Sarah says she's unhappy at the thought of living her whole life in a small town with little or no prospects. Lana realizes her daughter doesn't want to follow in her footsteps, and is completely sympathetic to that notion.

In both cases, the adults' reactions were reasonable and much deeper than what one would generally expect to see on a superhero show. These exchanges felt genuine and completely earned, and best of all the writers accomplished them without stooping to the usual Patented The CW Pep Talk®.

I've mentioned this before, but it's worth a repeat— kudos to actor Tyler Hoechlin for his portrayal of Superman. There's a scene early on in this episode in which Superman prevents a bridge from collapsing, saving hundreds of lives. Among those he saves is a grateful fisherman, who gratefully waves at the Man Of Steel. Superman smiles and gives him a little wave back.

That right there is such a Superman thing to do, and sums up the character perfectly! He represents goodness and hope, and dedicates his life to saving the Earth and its inhabitants. It's clear that Hoechlin and the creators understand this, and write the character accordingly. THIS is the real Superman!

Compare this version to the vengeful, angry, neck-snapping god from the DCEU. It's evident that particular Superman resents his powers and has nothing but contempt for those in need. Feh. Who needs him? 

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
The episode begins as the Kent men impatiently stand around waiting for Lois to decide what color to paint the living room. Just then Clark hears a commotion in China. He zooms to the scene, where he finds a large suspension bridge collapsing and saves it just in time.

The next morning at breakfast, Clark's sons Jonathan & Jordan pepper him with questions about his powers— specifically his super-hearing. Clark & Lois warn the boys to be mindful of their actions & what they say, so they don't accidentally reveal his secret indentity. Clark says they may think he's being too strict, but he just wants a normal life for them.

Elsewhere, Lana & Kyle wait outside the Smallville Clinic, where their daughter Sarah is in therapy. Sarah exits, and Lana asks if she's OK. Sarah angrily says that's between her and her psychiatrist, and tells her mom to drop it.

Later at school, Jordan asks Sarah if she wants to hang out. She sees her bully of a boyfriend Sean watching, and hurriedly tells Jordan she has to go. Sean approaches Jordan and shoves him, telling him to stay away from Sarah. Jonathan immediately defends Jordan, as a fight begins to brew.

Back on the farm, Clark works on the tractor while using his super-hearing to monitor his sons. He hears the scuffle and zips to the school, where he asks the boys if everything's OK. Sean says it's fine, but the boys ask what the hell he's doing there. Clark says he just thought he'd drop by. As he drives them back home, they accuse their father of spying on them. He says he doesn't do it all the time, and they call him a liar.

Lois reminds Clark of the first time he listened in on her, saying he almost lost her that day. He asks how he can fix things with his sons, and she says to make them the same promise he made to her.

The next morning at the Smallville Gazette, Chrissy assigns Lois a story about the local Harvest Festival. Lois balks, saying she was hoping to keep investigating Morgan Edge and his sleazy dealings around town. Chrissy says this isn't the Daily Planet, and every story can't be a hard-hitting expose.

Just then a woman named Sharon Powell enters with a hard-hitting expose. She tells Lois she wants to help Lois put Morgan Edge behind bars. It seems Sharon's son Derek got a job at the Edge Facility in nearby New Carthage. After working there for six months, Edge offered Derek "the opportunity of a lifetime." Sharon says that was the last she ever saw or heard from her son, and knows Edge somehow caused his death.

Across the street, one of Edge's men— codenamed Subjekt 11— secretly films Sharon talking to Lois.

The next morning Jordan arrives at school and overhears Sarah breaking up with Sean. As he smiles, one of Sean's cronies knocks him down, telling him to stay in his lane. Later at school, Lana's coaching the cheerleading squad. She berates Sarah for being distracted, prompting her daughter to quit the squad.

At football practice, Jonathan's shocked to see Jordan suited up in an effort to try out for the team. Jonathan asks what he thinks he's doing, and he says it's time to push back against their bullies.

The Coach puts Jordan in, telling him to show him what he's got. The other players do their best to cream him, but Jordan— who has higher than normal strength due to his Kryptonian heritage— easily knocks them on their asses. The Coach is more than impressed.

After practice, Sarah meets the twins in the local diner. She asks how Jordan managed to flatten the team, and he awkwardly says he's been practicing in the yard with Jonathan. Just then Lana enters, and demands to know why Sarah quit cheerleading. Sarah explodes, assuring her mom she's not going to try and kill herself again. She goes on to say that their entire family is one big dumpster fire— her dad Kyle bunks on the couch every night, her little sister's become a psychopath and Lana can't get to sleep without a pill. Lana angrily hisses for Sarah to grab her stuff and they leave.

Later at the Gazette, Chrissy tells Lois she's suspicious of Sharon's story, as the woman's a known drinker and her son has a checkered past as well. She suggests Lois drop the story. Just then the two hear and explosion and rush outside. There they see Lois' station wagon in flames. Chrissy says maybe she was wrong, as Lois has clearly struck a nerve...

Back at the farm, Lois tells Clark she made a mistake accusing Edge, as everyone in Smallville sees him as a savior. Clark asks what her gut says, and she still thinks Edge is bad news. He tells her to dig deeper then, and he'll support her.

The next day Clark runs into Lana, who confides that her family's falling apart. She then congratulates Clark, saying he must be proud of Jordan's football debut. Clark has no idea what she's talking about.

At practice, Sean demands to scrimmage against Jordan, who easily knocks him ten or twenty feet. Jordan then apologizes for kissing Sarah, saying it wasn't cool. Stunned, Sean says it's OK as the other players finally accept the twins. Jordan's happiness is short lived though, as he sees Clark watching from the sidelines.

That night Clark tells Jordan he's disappointed in him for using his powers on the football field. Jordan throws another hissy fit, saying he doesn't have powers according to his grandpop. Clark admits that taking him to see Holographic Jor-El was a mistake. Jordan says all Clark does is screw things up and he wishes he weren't around.

Lois tells Clark that Jordan's only fourteen and doesn't really mean what he says. She says he should try and figure out why Jordan's so angry. She then tells him she's going to New Carthage to check out a lead. Clark makes her promise not to get his truck blown up.

Jonathan tells Clark he thinks he should let Jordan continue playing football. He says for the first time in a long time, Jordan seems happy about something. Clark worries that Jordan will get carried away and reveal his powers. Jonathan says there's no point in having special abilities if you're never allowed to use them.

Lois drives to New Carthage, where Sharon's staying in a motel room. She sees the door's been kicked open, and stupidly enters anyway. Right on cue, Subjekt 11 appears and attacks her. She stabs him in the side of the head with a pen, which doesn't phase him a bit.

Subjekt 11 then advances toward Lois, intent on eliminating her. She whips out her ELT device and signals Clark. Two tenths of a second later, Superman crashes through the wall and attacks Subjekt 11.

The two men fight in the motel room, and Superman's surprised to see he's evenly matched. As they fight, Lois hides in the bathroom, where she finds Sharon lying unconscious.

Subjekt 11 actually manages to knock out Superman (!) and heads for Lois again. Superman comes to and uses his super-breath to freeze his opponent. He then repeatedly punches him and finally knocks his lights out. Lois says Sharon's barely breathing, and Superman zooms her off to a hospital.

Elsewhere, Lana enters Sarah's room and the two have a Patented The CW Pep Talk ®. Sarah says she tried to kill herself because she felt trapped by her family and the town, and saw a future she didn't want. Lana admits their family's messed up, and asks what kind of life she wants. Sarah says she hasn't figured it out yet, and the two embrace.

The next morning, Clark asks Jordan if he honestly likes playing football. Jordan says he didn't at first, but once he started making friends he actually enjoyed it. He says he's sure he can hold back his strength. Clark reluctantly says he can continue playing— with one catch.

Later at school, we see that Clark's now the Assistant Coach. Wa-wahhhhh. Jordan sees Sarah and asks if she's coming to the game. She tells him she'll be there as a spectator, not a cheerleader.

At the Gazette, Chrissy apologizes to Lois for not trusting her instincts. Lois wonders why someone with superpowers is working for Morgan Edge.

Later that night, Subjekt 11 is driving along in his car. He calls someone and tells them Superman rescued Sharon. As he hangs up, he sees a figure standing in the middle of the road. It's Leslie Larr, Edge's personal assistant. Incredibly, Leslie's eyes glow read as she uses her heat vision to incinerate 11. She makes a call, says "It's done" and walks off.

Thoughts: 
• This is some Hardcore Nitpicking right off the bat, but whatever.

At the beginning of the episode, Clark hears the screams of commuters as a suspension bridge collapses— somewhere in China (!). He instantly springs into action and flies around the globe to save the day. Lucky for everyone involved that he heard their cries for help!

There's one major problem with this scenario though. Smallville, Kansas is approximately 7,000 miles from China (give or take a few hundred miles). The speed of sound is around 761 mph near the Earth's surface. That means it would take about 9.5 HOURS for the victims' screams to travel halfway around the globe and reach Clark's ears!

Unfortunately, by the time he heard them everyone was already long dead.

Told you it was hard core! And yes, I realize this is a superhero show about a man who can fly and shoot heat rays from his eyes, so scientific accuracy isn't a priority here. I just thought it'd be fun to do the math.

Actually I think the show's aware of all this as well. Immediately after the rescue, Clark's back in Smallville, where Jonathan & Jordan grill him about his powers.

Jonathan: "Wait, so you can hear every sound in the world at once?"
Clark: "It's more like I hear all the fluctuations taking place in the collective sonic frequency."
Jordan: "That makes zero sense to me."

Based on that line, it sounds like the writers know he couldn't hear disasters around the world as they happened. So they came up with some technobabble nonsense to explain it. They deliberately lampshaded the problem to get around it.

• Speaking of the Chinese Bridge Rescue, I get the feeling it was a late addition to the script, after the writer took a look at what he'd typed and thought, "Oh sh*t, I'd better put some actual superheroics into this superhero show. Otherwise it's just forty two minutes of family drama!"

• Back in Pilot, Superman battled Captain Luthor in downtown Hong Kong, where it was daytime. He then returned to Smallville, where it was night. In my review of the episode I praised the producers for understanding that it's not high noon all over the world at the same time.

Sadly, I'm forced to withdrawal my kudos. In this episode it's early morning in Smallville when Clark hears the bridge collapsing. When he arrives on the scene in China, it appears to be midday. Whoops!

By the way, the Pintang Bridge is a real structure, and Guizhou's an actual city in China. It's the second tallest bridge in the world.

• One last thing about the Chinese bridge rescue before I mercifully drop it forever. During the disaster, we see a school bus full of kids in danger as the bridge threatens to collapse under them.

I couldn't help it— I burst out laughing the second I saw this scene. Virtually every time there's a crumbling bridge in a superhero movie, it's a given there'll be a loaded school bus hanging off the side of it. It's State Law at this point.

It's a cheap & easy way to generate drama, as well as showcase the hero's powers.

Actually this episode's "School Bus In Peril" scene is likely an homage to a similar one in Superman: The Movie.

Lastly, I wondered if they even have school buses in China. Turns out they recently started using them, although they don't look anything like the ones we have here. Or in this episode. Eh, I'll give 'em this one. No one could realistically expect them to ship a freakin' bus from China to Vancouver for a ten second scene.

• On the Kent farm, Clark unsuccessfully tries to start an ancient tractor that belonged to his late parents. He lifts it with one hand, looks underneath and sees a large crack in the oil pan. He then sets the tractor down in frustration and wipes his hands.

Back in Pilot he used his heat vision to seal a crack in the side of a nuclear power plant. Why doesn't he use it here to fix the tractor?

• After watching this episode for three weeks now, I've started noticing a somewhat alarming trend— is Lois a functioning alcoholic? Virtually every time we see her at home, she's got a glass of wine (or other alcohol) in her hand.

Don't believe me? Here she is knocking back a couple beers with Lana & Kyle in Pilot. 
 

We see her guzzling away at some wine on the porch in Heritage.

And here she is this week, pouring more wine down her throat in not one, but TWO different scenes.

Jesus Christ! Looks like the stress of investigative reporting, dealing with two teenaged boys and being the wife of a superhero are too much for her!

I'm being facetious here of course, but it's definitely a thing on the show. So much so that I'm wondering if it's actually a setup for a future storyline?

• At the Gazette, Sharon Powell approaches Lois and says her son Derek went missing after Morgan Edge offered him a mysterious "opportunity of a lifetime." She then gives Lois a flyer poster featuring her missing son.

Wow, that's a pretty detailed flyer the prop department cooked up. It even features a pretty good look at Derek Powell's face. And the camera takes a good long look at it, to make sure we all see it. That makes me think he's going to show up in a future episode as one of Edge's superpowered goons.

• This is some more heavy duty nitpicking, but again, that's what I do. When Jordan tries out for the football team, Coach Gaines consistently refers to him as "Short Stack." This causes the other players to call him that as well.

But take a look at the image above. That's Jordan on the far right, under the arrow. He doesn't look particularly height-challenged to me. In fact he seems to be the same height as most of the other players. Hell, there's even one a few feet away who's a good foot shorter than him!

Now I could see if the Coach called him "String Bean" or "Toothpick," since he does have a slighter build than the others. But he's definitely not short!

• Over on The Flash I started a "Run, Barry, Run" Counter to keep track of how many times various characters have said that phrase to the title character over the seasons.

I think I'm gonna start a similar counter on this show— a "Jordan Hissy Fit" Counter, to record every time he storms upstairs to his room after not getting his way. As of this episode we're up to 4 so far!

• What year is this? Check out the portable picture tube TV Kyle watches during dinner! Holy cow! I can't remember the last time I saw a portable like that. 1995, maybe? Where the hell did he get an antique like that? Do they even make those anymore? I guess Smallville really is behind the times!

• After one of Jordan's weekly tantrums, Clark goes outside and blows off some steam by crunching metal pipes into compressed pancakes.

Ah, Metal Pipes, my old friends. How you been? How's your mom?

This marks the third time these metal pipes have popped up in the series. They first showed up in Pilot, where they were inexplicably stored fifty feet off the ground inside the barn and fell on Jonathan & Jordan. They returned in Heritage, where we saw Clark sensibly stack them on the ground. And now they're back this week.

At this point I feel like the Metal Pipes should be listed in the cast!

• Let's talk about the show's pop culture references, shall we? At one point Clark forbids Jordan from playing football, fearing he'll inadvertently hurt someone with his powers. Jonathan then talks with Jordan and says, "Now you can just go back to hanging out with Sarah and listening to LP remix Morrissey or whatever." Jordan replies, "Morrissey’s a xenophobic has-been."

A bit later Jonathan realizes Jordan actually likes football, and tries to convince Clark to let him play. He tells Clark, "Yeah, but he doesn’t have super strength like you. That’s what Jor-El DeBarge said, right?" For the record, he's combining the name of his Kryptonian grandpa with El DeBarge here.

Both Morrissey and El DeBarge were successful singer/songwriters who had numerous hits back in the 1980s. What are the odds that two fourteen year olds in the year 2021 would have even heard of either of these artists, much less joke about them?

Either Jonathan & Jordan have VERY eclectic and unusual musical tastes, or the writer of this episode grew up in the 1980s and has no idea who's popular with current teens.

• Lois drives to New Carthage to get more info from Sharon Powell, who's staying in a motel room.

Hey kids, whenever you're at a seedy motel and see a door that's obviously been kicked open, do what Lois does— barge on in by yourself and loudly announce your presence! It's the safest course of action.

• As Lois enters the motel room, we see the TV's tuned to the Whitty Banter Show.

This is a very, VERY deep cut, as well as a private joke among the Superman comic creators. See, back in the early 1990s the creative team for all of DC's Superman comics were flown out to Hollywood to be extras on the Lois & Clark TV series. 

During their downtime, Glenn Whitmore— the colorist on the Superman titles— would entertain his coworkers by pretending to be a talk show host named "Whitty Banter," and would conduct mock interviews with them.

Apparently the creators of Superman & Lois somehow knew that obscure bit of trivia and incorporated it into this episode.

• When Subjekt 11 attacks Lois, she jams a pen into his ear.

I don't have anything to say about this image, other than I thought it was pretty funny— especially when taken out of context.

By the way, at no point during the episode is this character ever called "Subjekt 11." I got his name from the cast list. No idea why it's spelled so odd and "Russian-ey" either.

• Boy, that Superman is reeeeally fast. After Subjekt 11 throws Lois across the room, she activates her ELT. Less than one second elapses before Superman crashes through the wall to save her

Note Supes' glorious, Zack Snyder-esque cut-to-slow motion punch too!

• I was glad to finally see Superman fight someone besides Luthor this week. I was beginning to think Clark was the only being with powers in this entire world. I was also starting to worry that Luthor would be the only opponent he'd ever have, which would make for a very lonnnnnnnnnng season.

Until we're definitively told otherwise, I'm going with my assumption that this series takes place on its own Earth— one that's separate from the Arrowverse. 

Think of all the times that Clark's stressed over trying to balance his home life with saving the world. If this was Earth-Prime, he could just get his cuz Supergirl to fill in for him while he sorted out his family.

Or maybe this really is Earth-Prime, and the writers are just trying to establish Superman's place in this world before they start bringing in Arrowverse guest stars.

• There's a really cool effect during the motel room battle. Every time Subjekt 11 punches Superman, there's a kind of sped-up blurring effect. It works very well, and really sells the idea that 11's hits are brutally powerful.

• Eventually Supes has enough and dispatches Subjekt 11 by freezing him with his super-breath, then playing ping-pong with him by repeatedly punching him from one side of the room to the other. It's an awesome little fight scene.

• Apparently Superman & Lois is like Stargirl, as the streaming versions of its episodes are slightly longer than the broadcast ones. 

Case in point: There's a scene in this episode in which Clark asks Coach Gaines if he can be an assistant football coach, so he can keep an eye on Jordan and make sure he doesn't accidentally kill someone during practice.

This scene is only in the streaming version. It was cut from the live broadcast.

• At the end of the episode, Chrissy apologizes for not believing Lois' instincts about Morgan Edge. To make up for it, she puts together a good old fashioned conspiracy board, complete with news clippings, surveillance photos and other ephemera. The only thing missing is the strings of red yarn to connect the various items!

• In the tag scene, Subjekt 11 is driving through the countryside after his beat-down by Superman. He screeches to a stop as Leslie Larr steps in front of his car. We then see she's apparently some kind of meta, as she uses her heat vision to incinerate him. A couple things here:

First of all, we've seen Leslie before— just last week in fact. Lois barged into the Daily Planet, told Morgan Edge she quit, then spun on her heal and stormed out. Leslie was the woman who told Lois, "He's going to crush you."

Secondly, I'm assuming Leslie's based on Lesla-Lar, one of Supergirl's enemies from the comics. She debuted in 1961's Action Comics #279, and was a rogue Kryptonian living in the bottle city of Kandor (it's a long story). 

Lastly, again with the "Double L" names! For some reason the Superman comics are lousy with 'em. Most are women, but there are a few men as well. Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, Lana Lang, Lori Lemaris, Linda Lee, Lucy Lane, Lyla Leroll, Lyrica Lloyd, Lee Lambert and many, many more.

I assume this particular quirk probably started when some writer noticed that Lex Luthor & Lois Lane both had the initials L.L. and decided to keep the trend going, until it became a tradition.

Happy 100th Birthday To Al Jaffee!

I post a lot of obits in this blog, typically of celebrities who touched my life in some way. So I thought it'd be nice to do the opposite for a change, and post a noteworthy birthday instead.

Happy Birthday to cartoonist/illustrator Al Jaffee, who turned a whopping ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD on March 13, 2021. Holy cow!

Jaffee's work spanned an astonishing 78 years (!), from 1942 through his retirement in 2020! In fact he holds the Guinness World Record for the longest ever career as a comic artist!

Jaffee was born in Savannah, Georgia to Jewish immigrants from Lithuania. He studied at the New York's High School Of Music & Art in the late 1930s, along with future MAD alumni Will Elder, Harvey Kurtzman, John Severin and Al Feldstein (now THAT'S a senior class!).

Jaffee's career began in 1942, when he began drawing for Joker Comics, as well as Timely and Atlas Comics (the precursors to Marvel). When WWII broke out, he worked as an artist for the military. It was during this period that he changed his name from Abraham to Allan.

After the war Jaffee returned to Timely Comics, where he worked with Stan Lee, and edited the company's humor and teen books. He then wrote various newspaper comics for several years.

Jaffee was hired by MAD Magazine in 1955, one issue after the publication switched from comic book to its more familiar periodical format. He left when editor Harvey Kurtzman quit, but returned in 1958. He regularly worked for the magazine until it folded in 2020.

Over the decades, Jaffee created many of MAD's most popular regular features, including his Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions.

He also wrote and drew numerous MAD Inventions pages, which featured hundreds of humorous— yet oddly practical— contraptions and ideas.

Of course Jaffee's best known for his MAD Fold-Ins that graced the back page of the publication. As you no doubt are aware, the fold-ins reveal a hidden image when the page is creased. The very first fold-in was intended as a one-off gimmick— a satire of Playboy's centerfold pull-outs.

Readers reacted so strongly though that he was asked to do another, and before long it became a regular feature. It appeared in every issue but one from 1964 to 2020. According to Jaffee, each fold-in took him approximately two weeks to design and draw! Wow!

There was a period in my teens when I bought MAD religiously, and I vividly remember trying to gently bend or warp the fold-in, so I could see the hidden image without permanently creasing the page. I like my reading material to stay pristine, thanks!

So Happy Birthday, Al Jaffee! Here's to one hundred more!

Anti-Anti-Vaxxer Part 2!

Good news, everyone— I'm now fully vaccinated! I went to the clinic yesterday and got my second shot today. Woohoo!

Now Bill Gates can start tracking me with his 5G towers! Cool!

As with the first injection, there wasn't anything to it. A barely-felt pinprick and it was done. The entire process took twenty minutes. Including the fifteen minute observation period after.

As for side effects— meh. They're minor at best. As happened the first time, my arm's a little sore when I raise it. And I feel a little tired & draggy. A little more so this time than the first. But it's not like I'm bedridden or anything.

I'm glad it's finally done, as I now feel a little safer. Note that the vaccines don't prevent you from getting Covid— as effective as there are, there's still a 5% chance of contracting the virus. From what I understand though, if I do get it, the symptoms will be much milder than if I wasn't vaccinated. 

If you've been harboring fears or reservations about getting the vaccine, please don't. There's nothing to it, it doesn't hurt and as I said, the side effects are minimal. And it's absolutely vital that we all do our part and get vaccinated, or we're never going to get rid of this crap. Do you want a second year of lockdowns? I know I don't!

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

I was looking at the calendar today and realized something— thanks to the whole pandemic/end of the world thing, it's officially been one year since I saw a movie in an actual theater! 

The last time I went to the local cineplex was on Sunday, March 15, 2020. Just two days later Indiana officially shut down all movie theaters throughout the state.

A year without movies probably isn't that big a deal to the vast majority of the population, who go once every six months or so. It's been a major change to me though. As regular readers of my blog know all too well, I used to go to the cineplex once a week. Occasionally twice, if there was something particularly interesting playing. That's a lot of movies!

I've watched tons of films at home of course, but it's just not the same. No matter how big a TV I buy, it just can't replace the feeling of sitting in a darkened theater and watching a movie on a twenty foot tall screen.

For the record, the last film I saw in a theater was Bloodshot, Vin Diesel's attempt at starting his own personal comic book movie franchise. It's based on the little known comic of the same name from Valiant (a company which doesn't even exist anymore). It's the story of a ruthless hitman who's killed and injected with nanites, which resurrect him and make him virtually invulnerable.

It was... not good. In fact it was laughably bad. My favorite part of the film was when Bloodshot blows up a truck filled with flour, which coats his body and temporarily gives him the appearance of the comic character's trademark paper-white skin tone. Yeah, that really happened.

Jaysis, I hate to think this may be the last movie I ever see in a theater. If only I'd seen something good as my last hurrah!

On the other hand, once the pandemic was in full effect, Hollywood pretty much shut down. Films were postponed or canceled, and there were few if any major releases. So even if I could have gone to the theater, there was nothing there to see! OK, so Christopher Nolan insisted on releasing his mumble-core masterpiece Tenet to theaters, but I wasn't about to risk my life to see that!

Hopefully as more and more of the country gets vaxxed, I can tentatively venture back into the cineplex soon, and get back to some semblance of a semi-normal life.

The Flash Season 7, Episode 2: The Speed Of Thought

Now that's more like it! This week on The Flash we get a much better episode than last week's filler, er, I mean "Season Premiere."

I need to cut these first few episodes a break, as they're unavoidable leftovers from Season 6, which were delayed by the whole pandemic/end of the world thing. Is it any wonder they're disjointed and uneven? Looking forward to the REAL Season 7 to start in a couple weeks.

The best thing about this episode is that it finally gives us the welcome return of both Cisco and Frost. It's about damn time! I covered this last week, but it's worth a repeat— they really should have been present last week to say goodbye to Nash and the Wellses. I'm sure there were valid reasons for, but their absence really torpedoed Nash's death scene.

Although I enjoyed The Speed Of Thought for the most part, it may well go down in history as the most technobabble-heavy episode in the history of the show. Virtually every sentence uttered inside STAR Labs is a good 75% bullshit science. Behold:

Barry: "I know how to open a portal to the Mirrorverse."
Allegra: "Uh, what?"
Cisco: "Yeah, repeat that. For Allegra."
Barry: "All right, I’m sorry. Um… let me show you. Ramsey’s unique cells created a polar covalent bond with the molecules in Eva’s mirror portal. That’s why she needed his blood."
Cisco: "Right, it formed, like, a bio-friendly skin on the interdimensional barrier."

Allegra: "So we need Ramsey’s blood. We knew that."
Barry: "No, we don’t need it. His blood would have bonded with the electronegative particles and become dark matter photons. Those particles wouldn’t just stay on the mirror portal."
Cisco: "No, they wouldn’t. They’d attach themselves to Eva. Those photons are still on her. If we could collect them, we could open our portal. But it would take, like... years to develop a prototype that could do that."
Barry: "Not if we integrate the neural net in the Thinker’s chair, synced to a nanite bridge, fed into the Tachyon Enhancer’s non-reductive loop."

Holy cow! And I thought Star Trek: The Next Generation got carried away with its long swaths of technobabble! This episode makes that series hang its had in shame. If you understood any of Barry & Cisco's palaver, you're a better man (or woman!) than me!

Lastly, remember the end of Crisis On Infinite Earths, Part Five, when the heroes became the Arrowverse's Justice League? Barry even converted an old STAR Labs facility into the Hall Of Justice!

He also debuted a customized roundtable, where this new League could meet and plan strategies. It was all right out of the Super Friends cartoon, and it was awesome to finally see these elements in live action.

Annnnnnnd then we never saw any of this stuff again. So what the hell happened to all this? Where's the Justice League? Why haven't they ever teamed up since the Crisis? Why haven't we seen the Hall or the table again? 

What the hell was the point of introducing any of this if they never planned on ever using it?

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
At STAR Labs, Team Flash— including Cisco, who's finally returned— are mourning the death of Nash and all the other Wellses. Cisco places Nash's bandolier on a plinth and says they'll never be forgotten.

Joe tells Barry not to blame himself for Nash's death. Barry says it feels like his heart and emotions are his enemies' greatest weapon, as they constantly use them against him. If you recognize that sentiment is the theme of this episode, then go to the head of the class.

Allegra stares at the photo of Nash & her doppelgänger and mopes. Suddenly her laptop comes to life, as she somehow gets an email from Iris, who's still trapped in the Mirrorverse. Allegra reads the email, in which Iris invites Kamilla & Singh— who are both in the Mirrorverse as well— to meet her at in the Speed Lab at a specific time.

Meanwhile, Cisco's been busy since his return, as he's used Atlantean tech to create a device that'll open a portal into the Mirrorverse. Unfortunately it doesn't work. As Cisco tries to figure out what went wrong, Barry "sees" a complex formula in his mind that'll fix the device and writes it out on a board. Cisco's puzzled and unnerved by Barry's burst of brilliance.

Barry says in order to rescue their people from their Mirrorverse, they'll need to know their locations. Just then Allegra enters, and says that thanks to Iris' email, they now know exactly where everyone will be at a precise time.

Cisco realizes the Artificial Speed Force has also enhanced Barry's mental capacities, allowing him to analyze millions of calculations and probabilities in seconds. Cisco tests this theory with the Quantum Ball— a device that, when thrown, moves in completely random and unpredictable directions. He hurls it at Barry, who anticipates its every move and catches it.

Barry then announces he's figured out how to access the Mirroverse— but it'll require siphoning dark matter photons from Eva. Cisco says it might work, but it'll take days to create a device to do so. Barry cobbles one together while Cisco's talking, and predicts which Black Hole site Eva will strike next.

In the Mirrorverse, Iris finds Kamilla at their meeting place. Iris tells her she's slowly learning how to control the Mirrorverse. She says they need to find Singh and escape before their minds are destroyed by the backwards realm.

Eva shows up a Black Hole site, where she's confronted by three armed guards. She blasts one, causing the other two to hightail it out of there. Barry & Cisco watch from the shadows. Cisco warns Barry that even with his speed at 100%, he's still slower than Eva, who can move at the speed of light. Barry says he called in backup.

Just then Killer Frost arrives and blasts Eva. While she's distracted, Barry swoops in and drains the dark matter particles from Eva's body before she knows what happened. Eva then fires a ohotonic blast at Frost. Barry starts to save her, then hesitates and stops. Frost takes the full force of the blast and is knocked unconscious (there's a lot of that in this episode). Eva then ducks into a nearby reflective surface and flees.

Back at STAR, Cisco unsuccessfully attempts to treat Frost. He accuses Barry of deliberately letting her get hit. Barry coldly and emotionlessly admits this, claiming that saving Frost would have endangered the dark matter containment unit. He then uses his superspeed to whip up a cure for Frost.

Cisco protests, saying they need to test the cure first, but Barry administers it anyway. Frost wakes a few seconds later, shaken but otherwise OK. Cisco grumbles that Barry got lucky.

Team Flash then sees Eva on a local talk show (?), hosted by Arielle Atkins, whoever the hell that is. Barry analyzes the footage at superspeed and determines the real Eva died long ago, and all this time they've been dealing with a mirror duplicate. At the studio, Eva tells Arielle she brought a video clip to show how she's using science to better the world. Barry uses his super-smarts to hack into both McCulloch Tech and the TV station. He then plays the video we saw last week of the real Eva dying and a mirror clone being created.

Arielle freaks the hell out and accuses Eva of being a meta or a shapeshifter or worse. Eva panics and jumps into the nearest mirror. Cisco & Frost both scold Barry, saying his actions just made the already unstable Eva even worse. Barry calmly says it was all part of his plan, as Eva's now distracted and won't notice when they open a portal to the Mirrorverse.

Barry then activates Gideon The Helpful AI, and they determine they don't have enough dark matter photons to rescue everyone— they can either save Iris (who's been trapped longer and will take more resources to spring) or Kamilla & Singh together.

Barry tells Cisco, Frost & Allegra the situation, and says they should vote on who to save. The others are appalled at his callous attitude, especially when he votes for Iris. The rest claim they should rescue as many people as they can— or better yet, find a way to get everyone back. Barry realizes he has to act alone.

In the Mirrorverse, Iris & Kamilla make their way to STAR Labs. There they find Singh, who staggers toward them and collapses. Iris says he's in bad shape because he was shot with Eva's photonic raygun, rather than yanked into the realm as she was. Kamilla gulps and says she was hit with the ray too. She then promptly passes out and drops to the floor as well.

In the real world, Cisco tells Barry that Eobard Thawne used negative emotions to power his own Speed Force (Comic Book Science!). He says the Artificial Speed Force that Nash & Chester constructed works differently, as it uses an alloy that's robbing Barry of all emotion— positive and negative (even more Comic Book Science!). Barry doesn't see a problem with this, but Cisco says having emotions is what makes them human.

Cisco glances at what Barry's doing, and realizes he's planning to free Iris. Cisco says they'll find a way to save everyone like they always do, but Barry says Iris has knowledge about Eva that will give them a tactical advantage— meaning she's the logical choice. He says Kamilla and Singh are expendable, much to Cisco's horror.

Cisco then powers up some sort of high-tech shotgun and aims it at Barry. Frost and Allegra enter as well, surrounding him. Cisco tells Barry the others aren't expendable, and says he's going to give him his heart back by choice or force.

Barry springs into action, and Cisco shoots him with a dose of Velocity 0, which will supposedly suppress his powers. For some reason it has no effect (?), and Barry knocks Cisco & Allegra on their asses. He then hurls the Quantum Ball and zooms out of the Lab.

Frost injects herself with Velocity X, which gives her temporary speedster powers. She chases Barry through Central City, but ultimately he manages to knock her down. Barry taunts Frost, saying her speed's almost gone. She says running fast isn't the only power she has, and throws a Speed Force Lightning/Ice Blast combo at him, knocking him off balance.

Just then Allegra uses one of Nash's teleportation smoke bombs to arrive on the scene with Cisco. She throws another bomb, teleporting everyone back to STAR. Before they can incapacitate Barry though, the randomly bouncing Quantum Ball he threw earlier returns. It hits Cisco in the head and drops him. It then smacks into Allegra, causing her to fire a blast of UV energy at herself and Frost, knocking them both out (this plays out live just as confusingly as it reads).

Barry says this was all part of his plan. He then activates the portal to the Mirrorverse, where Iris is attempting to save Kamilla and Singh. Iris is overjoyed to see him standing on the other side, and asks her to help her with the others.

Barry says he's there for just her, not the others. Puzzled, she refuses to leave with out Kamilla and Singh. Barry turns up the power on the portal, which expands its reach, pulling Iris toward it. She resists, using her control over the Mirrorverse to destabilize the portal. Eventually she's yanked back into the real world.

Before Barry can congratulate himself, Iris begins convulsing and collapses. Barry admits he didn't see this outcome. Furious, he throws a bolt of lightning at the Artificial Speed Force generator. It shorts out, and his speed is pulled from his body (huh?).

Elsewhere, Eva sits in the corner of her office, rocking back & forth as she mutters "It's not my world" over and over. She then looks at herself in a mirror, smiles and says that it CAN be her world.

At CCPD, Officer Korber (who popped up several times in Season 6) is leaving for the night, when a pair of arms extend from a nearby mirror and grab her.

Cut to several years ago, back when Eobard Thawne confronted the original Harrison Wells. He uses a device to steal Wells' appearance, which kills him and leaves his body a desiccated husk. Thawne then buries Wells' body and zooms away. Sometime later, green energy erupts from the grave and forms itself into Harrison Wells.

Thoughts: 

• As the episode begins, Team Flash is gathered in what I assume must be the STAR Labs Memorial Room.

We then see they're holding a remembrance service, as Cisco as he solemnly places Nash's bandolier on a mannequin. Gosh, it's too bad he couldn't be bothered to show up last week to say goodbye to his friend in his final moments.

• At the service, Cisco tells the others, "This wall is nano-engraved with the names of everyone we've lost. So no matter how the timeline changes, they'll never be forgotten."

First of all, that was definitely a shot at Barry and his frequent history-altering shenanigans. 

Secondly, I think thee writing staff is confused about the world "nano." It literally means "one billionth," but can also mean "very small or minute."

So Cisco's saying the names are so small they can't be changed by time? Comic Book Science! Unfortunately this is just the first of many, MANY instances of nonsensical technobabble in this episode.

Also, I kinda doubt Nash ever had abs like the one on that dummy.

• The Memorial Room is filled with artifacts from various fallen team members and allies. Unfortunately we never get any closeup looks at the items on display. According to the Official Flash Wiki, the room contains:

— Harry Wells' glasses

— HR's drumsticks

— Sherloque's brandy bottle

— Captain Cold's goggles

— Jesse Wells' jacket

— Oliver Queen's Arrow mask

— Ronnie Raymond's Firestorm harness

The only item we see clearly is Nora West-Allen's XS jacket.

It's anyone's guess as to how Team Flash could possibly have obtained some of these artifacts. Like Nora's jacket, for example. She was wearing it when the timeline was altered and she was erased from existence! How the hell could her clothes exist if she was never born?

• Is it weird that Allegra keeps staring at this photo of Nash? I get that it's the only image she has left of him, and as such is important to her. But that's not Allegra in the photo! It's her doppelgänger Maya from Earth-719, who was Nash's protege and traveled the Multiverse with him! Seems like she ought to be creeped out by seeing him with a perfect copy of her.

• When Cisco returns from Atlantis, he builds a portal to the Mirrorverse. Later in the episode, a copy of this device is sitting inside the Mirror STAR Labs.

The Artificial Speed Forcer Generator is present and accounted for there as well. Wait... what? How the hell did all that stuff get there? Does everything that's added to the real STAR Labs get, er, reflected in the Mirrorverse version? 

How the heck does that happen? Did mirror versions of Team Flash construct these devices? Did they just magically appear? Or do the writers hope the audience doesn't think too hard about any of this?

• Cisco can't get his portal to work, and starts working on an equation to fix it. Suddenly Barry recites the complex calculation before Cisco has a chance to write it down. When he asks how he did that, Barry replies that he "saw" Cisco scribble it on a board. To me those words imply that Barry somehow looked into the future.

But that's not what's happening at all. Later on we find out that Barry's mind is moving so fast that he's calculating every conceivable possibility in his mind. Which is completely different from seeing the future. The writers could have clarified the dialogue here a bit better.

• The idea of Barry having speed-thinking has been actually brought up before— specifically in the Season 6 premiere Into The Void. In that episode, we get a rare glimpse of Team Flash's home life, as the characters have a cookout. Of course they end up talking shop, and have the following conversation:

Barry: "How's the MAC coming?"

Kamilla: "There's mac and cheese too?"
Caitlin: "No, the Mental Augmentation Chamber. Basically, it allows us to tap into the Speed Force to boost Barry's cognitive abilities. It would allow him to see every possible outcome to a scenario at the same time."
Kamilla: "So speed-thinking."
Barry: "Which means we'll be able to catch all the bad guys faster."

Looks like they were planting the seeds for this plot element a full year ago. Actually The Speed Of Thought was intended as the penultimate episode of Season 6, so it's simply paying off the setup in the premiere.

I still contend that Barry's had to have had some form of speed-thinking from the beginning. It'd be a necessary function of his very survival as a speedster. 

Imagine if he's tooling along through Central City at Mach 3 (2,532 mph), which is supposedly his top speed (depending on the season, episode & plot needs). Then imagine a truck pulls out in front of him. Without some form of super-quick thinking he'd plow right into the side of it and kill himself.

I suppose one could argue that I'm talking about reaction time here and not thought, but they seem like pretty similar functions to me.

• I gotta say, it was great seeing Frost back again this week! Fun fact: She wasn't originally supposed to be in this episode.

As we all know, Season 6 was cut short by the pandemic, so the final three episodes were relegated to the beginning of Season 7. When production shut down, actress Danielle Pannabaker was on maternity leave for the rest of the season. 

But by the time filming resumed late in 2020, she'd already had the kid, recovered and sent it off to boarding school. OK, maybe not that last part, but she was now free to return to the show and film the final two episodes of the Mirrorverse Saga. The writers then rejiggered the episodes to include her again. So for once something good came from Covid!

• Using his speed-thinking, Barry determines they need dark matter photons in order to spring Iris and the others from the Mirrorverse. Team Flash then confronts Eva, and Barry uses a device he constructed to extract the particles from her body.

When Eva attacks Frost, Barry just stands there and lets her get hit. When Cisco accuses him of deliberately endangering Frost's life, Barry explains, "There was a .0002% percent chance of the tachyon enhancer getting damaged in that scenario. I couldn't risk that.

I guess it never occurred to Mr. Speed Thinking that he could have simply removed the tachyon collector from his chest, handed it to Cisco and THEN rescued Frost. Jaysis!

• This is some pretty hardcore nitpicking, but whatever. Once Barry begins speed-thinking, he speaks like an android, no longer using contractions and using far more words than necessary.

Wouldn't it be just the opposite? Wouldn't he use fewer words in order to keep up with his rapidly racing thoughts? To quote Kevin from The Office, "Why use lot word when few word do trick?

Obviously the change in his speech is meant to demonstrate how he's losing all emotion, but still...

• Barry determines that Eva McCulloch died the night the Particle Accelerator exploded, and they've been battling a mirror duplicate. When Cisco doesn't believe this, Barry states, "I slept in the same bed with a mirror duplicate of Iris without knowing the difference."

Sigh... the show's never gonna deal with the fallout from that fact, is it? Think of all the drama that could generate. Barry cheated on his wife with an evil copy of her. That's gotta be worth a fight or three.

• Last week I discussed the Season 6 finale, which ended on a cliffhanger as Iris turned into a prism and disappeared, leaving Kamilla all alone in the Mirrorverse. Oddly enough, there was absolutely no follow up or resolution to any of this in the Season 7 premiere. In fact it was almost as if the writers forgot about it, or decided to alter the plot during the hiatus.

This week they pay some slight lip service to the puzzling cliffhanger, as Iris & Kamilla have this brief exchange: 

Kamilla: "Iris! Thank God. When you disappeared, I thought that neural dissonance sickness got you."

Iris: "Yeah, well, she (Eva) tried to use it against me, but I was able to fight her off. I think I’ve been in this place for so long that I’ve gained control over it. I think that’s how I was able to send you and Singh that message."

Well, that explained nothing! At least they sort of acknowledge what we saw on screen though.

I'm starting to believe this was another side effect of Season 6 being cut short by Covid. In its original context, Iris' disappearance was never meant to be a season-ending cliffhanger. But it was forced to become one after production was shut down. This made the scene seem MUCH more important than it really was.

• Eva goes on the Arielle Atkins show to promote McCulloch Tech or something. Barry then uses his hacking skills to play the clip of Eva dying and her mirror duplicate being created.

Arielle Atkins then IMMEDIATELY FLIPS THE HELL OUT, calling Eva a meta or worse and doing everything but unloading both barrels of a shotgun at her. Her over the top reaction came off as unintentionally hilarious.

A normal person would have probably watched the clip and reacted with confusion and mild curiosity, not called for torches & pitchforks.

• Very obviously the theme of this week's episode is emotion vs. logic. Oddly enough, all the cold, calculating decisions that Speed-Thinking Barry makes are consistently the right ones. The only time he flubs one is when he fails to factor human emotion into the equation.

If you'll recall, the same thing happened to The Thinker back in Season 4. Now that I think about it, this episode's fairly similar to his entire arc.

• I loved seeing the members of Team Flash band together and use their various powers to stop Barry. Even Allegra, who managed to be particularly useful this week, and much less annoying than usual. Not only did she use the crystal that Nash gave her in the Season 6 finale, but she used one of his teleportation smoke bombs as well.

• OK, I'm confused. During the showdown between Barry & Team Flash, Cisco shoots him (twice!) with Velocity 0, which is designed to temporarily dampen his speed. Immediately afterward though Barry continues zipping around the Lab, and even zooms out the building and down the street.

So does Velocity 0 suppress his speed or not? He was clearly hit with the serum, so why does he act like nothing happened as he flies through Central City? I've watched this scene twelve times and still don't get it. Am I missing something here?

• In the episode's best sequence, Frost injects herself with Velocity X, which temporarily makes her a speedster. I gotta say, I did NOT see that one coming! 

Frost is only the second non-speedster character to use a Velocity serum. The first was Eliza Harmon, aka Trajectory, in the Season 2 episode Trajectory.

As cool as it was though, this scene opens up a huge, industrial size can of Plot Worms. As fast as Barry is, there are many times when even his speed isn't enough to stop the Villain Of The Week. But if the rest of Team Flash can temporarily become speedsters whenever they want, then... why don't they? Few Big Bads would stand a chance against an entire squad of Flashes.

Based on what we learned in past episodes, Velocity X is supposedly addictive, so that's likely their excuse for not using it. But surely it'd be safe to use sparingly— say once every season finale.

• How cool (heh) was Barry & Frost's speedster case through Central City? I think my favorite part was when Frost threw up a quick ice wall, and Barry phases right through it! Awesome!

Still not sure how superspeed allows one to run up the side of a building or stick to the side of it, but whatever.

• So Frost is dead now, right? At one point during her superspeed chase, she falls five hundred feet and lands right on top of a car. I guess maybe we're supposed to believe that the Velocity X in her system gave her speed-healing and saved her?

There's just one problem with that theory. According to the Official Flash Wiki, Velocity X just makes people run fast. It doesn't give them other speedster benefits, like an aura to protect them from friction, or super fast healing abilities.

• To top off their battle, Frost summons all her power and unleashes a Speed Force Ice Lightning Bolt on Barry! That's definitely a term I never thought I'd ever type.

As amazing as it was, it didn't really seem to actually do much. I figured it'd encase him in a ball of crackling ice or something, but instead it just knocked him across the street.

• Barry ignores his teammates and opens the portal to rescue Iris from the Mirrorverse. Quite rightly she refuses to leave without Kamilla and Singh, so Barry ups the portal's power and forcibly pulls her through it.

Um... was it really necessary to use a stuntwoman for this scene? That clearly isn't Candace Patton being pulled two whole feet across the floor. I dunno if Patton refused to do the "stunt," or the producers were just being overly cautious and called in a professional.

• After Barry rescues Iris from the Mirrorverse, she promptly collapses and is near death. The coldly logical and emotionless Barry then throws a major hissy fit. He hurls a bolt of lightning at the Artificial Speed Force generator, shorting it out. Barry instantly doubles over in pain as the speed's sucked from his body. A couple things here...

Last season the Speed Force died, but Barry was still able to run his residual energy for months and months. This week he destroys the ASF generator and INSTANTLY loses his powers! Wait, what?

I suppose we could be generous here and say the Artificial Speed Force works differently than the real one, hence Barry loses his mojo much more quickly. I suppose we could say that, but I don't see why we should.

Secondly, when the speed energy's drawn from his body, it's a bright electric blue instead of its usual yellow color. Was that color snafu a mistake by the FX team, or does it have some actual meaning?

Lastly, doesn't it seem a slap in the face to destroy the ASF right after Nash and the other Wellses gave their lives to power it?

• Late in the third act, Eva sits in a corner & rocks herself, moaning, "This isn't my world, this isn't my world" over and over. Hey, I know how you feel, sister! I do & say the exact same thing in my house every night after work!

• In the final scene, a CCPD officer is leaving for the night, when a pair of arms extend from a nearby mirror and grab her.

At first I thought this hapless cop was just a random Victim Of The Week. Turns out we've seen her many times before. She's Officer Korber, who appeared several times in Season 6 in Into The Void, Love Is A Battlefield, Death Of The Speed Force and The Exorcism Of Nash Wells. 

Based on the preview for next week's episode, it appears Eva's building an army of mirror duplicates.

• In the tag scene, we see a flashback to the night several years ago when Eobard Thawne killed the ORIGINAL Harrison Wells and morphed into his form.

Jesus Christ! That image of Wells turning into a desiccated husk will be starring in my nightmares tonight!

At some point after this, we get a shot of Wells' shallow grave. Suddenly he's magically reconstituted, courtesy of the best special effects 1986 had to offer.

So what the hell's happening here? How'd he come back to life? Did the mental energy of all the Wellses who died in the Crisis go back in time and rebuild him? Did someone cast a spell over his grave? Is this a result of the Particle Accelerator explosion? Are these green sparkles the Swamp Thing's doing?

Honestly at this point I have no idea. I'm inclined to think it's something to do with the Speed Force, but its energy usually manifests itself as yellow, not green. I'm pretty sure this green stuff is something new that we've not seen before.

Also, thanks to this scene we now know what version of Harrison Wells we're getting in Season 7— the original! I think we've only seen the OG Wells in flashback form before, which means he's never met or interacted with Team Flash before! So that should be interesting. 

And unless I'm mistaken, this Wells also died before realizing his dream of building STAR Labs and the Particle Accelerator. That'll be a shock when he arrives in Central City and sees his dream's been realized without him. No doubt his first words will be, "Why's there a hole in the roof? Why doesn't someone use their superpowers to fix that?"

It's also a bit vague as to just when he's being resurrected. As filmed, it could either be seconds after he was killed years ago, or the present day. Stay tuned to find out which!