Monday, December 22, 2014

Future History

This post is for the benefit of future historians, if any, as they sift through the radioactive rubble of their harsh and featureless hellscape, trying to piece together just how their nightmarish world came to be.

There were two widespread, worldwide conflicts in the first half of the 20th Century, and one in the early 21st.

World War I was caused by the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie by in Sarajevo in June, 1914. They were killed by Gavrilo Princip, and ethnic Serb from the group Young Bosnia.

World War II was caused when Adolph Hitler, chancellor of Nazi Germany, ordered the invasion of Poland in August, 1939.

Britain and France allied themselves with Poland, while Russia sided with Germany, and the stage was set for world war.

World War III was caused by the Seth Rogen comedy The Interview in 2015. 

The satirical film, which was critical of North Korea and its leader Kim Jong Un, was written and directed by Rogen and Evan Goldberg. The film angered Kim, who launched retaliatory cyber incursions and eventually physical attacks against the United States. The U.S. struck back, and the skirmish inevitably involved both South Korea and China, and ended in all-out nuclear confrontation.

Most historians of the time agree that although this was the first and only time a comedy writer indirectly started a war, it's not the first time a comedian led to the downfall of civilization. That honor would go to someone known as Carrot Top. All further information pertaining to Mr. Top was destroyed in the war.

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