Wednesday, August 26, 2015

A Message For The Members Of Fall Out Boy

Dear Members Of Fall Out Boy:

As a life-long fan of the 1960s TV series The Munsters, I have just one thing to say to you.

God damn you. God damn you all to hell.

Yours Truly,
Bob Canada
CEO of Bob Canada's BlogWorld


I used to be a big music fan, but I don't listen much any more. I'm sure that's mostly due to the shockingly low quality of what currently passes for rock these days. 

I do occasionally hear snippets of songs when I'm out and about though. Imagine my surprise when I was recently browsing in Target and first heard the jangling, surf-beat guitar lick from The Munsters over the store's speakers. "Huzzah!" I thought to myself as The Munsters is one of my all-time favorite shows, and the theme song always makes me happy, reminding me of a more innocent time.

Unfortunately The Munsters lick ended all too soon, replaced by the strangled bleatings of Fall Out Boy's lead singer, the aptly named Patrick Stump. It was the aural equivalent of biting into a delicious piece of chocolate, only to find it was filled with excrement. Or cherries. Same thing.

Seriously, guys? You're still sampling music? Jesus, who still does that? I thought sampling went out with powdered wigs and Pogs. If you're going to blatantly steal music from theme songs, at least choose one from a show no one remembers, like Camp Runamuck, The Good Guys or Accidental Family, instead of beloved ones like The Munsters. Or here's an idea— write an goddamned original guitar lick already, and quit picking the corpse of composer Jack Marshall.

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