World's Greatest!

This week in Washington, President Trump and the Republican House finally made good on their threat to gut the U.S. healthcare system introduced their new replacement for the Affordable Care Act, aka "Obamacare."

I thought it had to be part of an Onion article at first, but I checked it out and it's all too true. Believe it or not, Trump's replacement for Obamacare really is titled H.R.1275 - World's Greatest Healthcare Plan Of 2017. I swear to you I am not kidding here.

Sounds like someone in Washington has been reading their Orwell. With a name like that, this new plan must be doubleplusgood! Support the troops in the war against Eastasia! Or is it Eurasia this week? I can never remember.

The World's Greatest Healthcare Plan Of 2017 is just the latest in a series of tremendous new policies from our Glorious Leader Trump, as it accompanies his recent Totally Rad Muslim Ban and the Badass Off The Hook Mexican Border Wall.

I'm leaving work early today to start building my Giant Meteor Attractor.

Today's Trump Tidbit: Running The Country's HARD!

Earlier this week President Trump announced that Republicans are hard at work, as they hastily look for ways to "improve" (which of course means eliminate) the Affordable Care Act.

The President said they're working on not just a good plan, but a "very good" plan, which should ease the minds of the nation's sick and invalid. He assured the country that the new plan would provide "insurance for everybody" and be "something terrific."

Trump admitted that the "repeal and replace" process hasn't been without its pitfalls."It's an unbelievably complex subject," said Trump. "Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated."

Of course you're right, Donald. No one knew health care was a complicated topic. Other than the entire insurance and medical industries, the country's hospital staff and administrators, the entire drug and pharmacy industry, the news media and of course the general public.

Jesus wept. It's like Josh from the movie Big suddenly grew up overnight and somehow became President.