The Walking Dead Season 5, Episode 13: Forget

This week on The Walking Dead, Sasha can't adjust, Daryl bonds with the unlikeliest person possible, Rick begins plotting to conquer Alexandria as well as his neighbor's wife, the supporting cast is tossed a few lines and Carol traumatizes a child for life.

But hey, at least no one dies in this episode, so there's that.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:

Sasha is having trouble adjusting to the quiet life in Alexandria, and spends a lot of time outside wasting ammo.

Rick, Daryl and Carol meet outside the walls and plot how to get their weapons back, just in case they need them. They spot a walker with a large "W" carved into its forehead, but this doesn't seem to interest them.

Daryl goes hunting and runs into Aaron, and they try to rescue a wild horse. Unfortunately it's attacked by walkers, and Aaron is forced to put it down. Aaron invites Daryl to his house for dinner. There, he and Eric show Daryl their garage full of motorcycle parts. Aaron wants Daryl to replace Eric as a recruiter for Alexandria, and says he'll need a bike.

Deanna hosts a welcoming party for Rick and his people. Rick meets Jessie's husband Pete, who's seemingly much friendlier than he was last week. Jessie's son Sam stamps Rick's hand with a large red letter "A." Later on, Rick kisses Jessie on the cheek, which I'm sure won't cause some kind of butt-hurt love triangle later on. 

Carol ducks out of the party and sneaks into the armory, stealing several handguns. She's caught by Sam, who says he has to tell his mom. Carol then threatens him with a pants-crapping, eaten-alive-by-zombies scenario to ensure his silence. 

The next day Rick, Daryl and Carol meet again outside the walls. Carol hands out the guns she stole, but Daryl surprisingly refuses, saying he wants to give Alexandria a chance. Back in town, Rick patrols the streets and stares at the "A" on his hand.

Thoughts:

• While out hunting, Daryl hears a noise in the brush and tells Aaron to come out (no pun intended). Aaron is mightily impressed that Daryl can tell the difference between a walker and a human. 

Is that really so extraordinary? Let's think about it. A walker probably gives off an odor like a sack full of dead possums on a scorching hot day. Then there's the fact that they're constantly moaning, even though they don't breathe. Not to mention they don't exactly try to be quiet and tiptoe around like a human would. But you're right, Aaron, it's probably tough to tell the difference.

• I have to admit I did not expect to see Daryl bond with Aaron. Daryl even accepted a dinner invitation from him and Eric! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Do you hear that? It's the sound of a thousand Daryl/Aaron fan-fic stories being vigorously typed and uploaded to the internet...

• It's no secret that the comic book incarnation of Andrea is awesome, while the TV version was seriously botched. For a while I thought maybe the producers were trying to correct their mistake by turning Carol into the new Andrea. Now I'm wondering if they're doing this with Sasha instead. 

If I remember right, Comic Book Andrea (who's currently still alive) was "their best sharpshooter" and spent a lot of time in the lookout tower. Just like Sasha.

• Daryl and Aaron try to rescue a horse named Buttons, but they're too late and it's attacked by walkers.

So, does the zombie virus work on animals? If Aaron hadn't shot Buttons in the head, would he have turned? I'd pay good money to see the group running from a zombie horse!

• Deanna meets with Rick, Michonne and Maggie and tells them that one day she hopes to bring government back to Alexandria. Maggie seems genuinely interested in this, and enthusiastically agrees. Rick and Michonne also agree, but it's pretty obvious they're lying. 

I'm betting the only government Rick's interested in is one with him at the top.

• I notice the use of the word "shit" seems to have ramped up in the past few episodes. Sure they've always said it on this show, but it seems like they're saying it a lot more lately. It makes me wonder if the producers asked for the F word, but AMC said, "Well, we can't let you say "f*ck," but you can have three "shits" per episode.

• Olivia is Alexandria's supply clerk, and looks like she stepped right out of the comic.

No offense to Olivia, but... she's kind of a hefty gal. If my supply officer was fifty pounds overweight I might think about reassigning her.

• Rick, Daryl and Carol still don't trust the Alexandrians and secretly meet outside the walls to discuss plans for a coup, if it comes to that. Rick wants Carol to steal a few small handguns that won't be missed from the armory, "just in case." A few things here...

First of all they're meeting by the house where Rick hid a gun that was later stolen. Obviously this house is under surveillance by someone, so it doesn't seem like the best place to hold a secret pow-wow. 

Secondly, if they don't want anyone to know they're secretly meeting outside the walls, is it a good idea for all three of them to return to Alexandria at the exact same time? Shouldn't they stagger their returns a bit?

Third, as they're about to leave, they put down a couple of approaching walkers. Daryl notices they one has a "Ws" carved in its forehead. Rick glances at it for a second, says, "Huh, that's weird" and immediately dismisses it. That's fine detective work, Rick.

Did he forget he's already seen "W" zombies a couple weeks ago in Noah's neighborhood? Along with the "Wolves Not Far" graffiti? Apparently so. It's OK, Rick, I'm sure this isn't an ominous sign that'll turn deadly for Alexandria three episodes from now in the season finale.

• Rick tells Deanna that they need to ramp up their security. He says they need to post sentries all along the wall to prevent people on the outside from climbing up the support struts and coming over it. 

Like I said last week, putting the supports on the OUTSIDE of the wall was a really boneheaded idea. Why would you not put them on the inside, to keep hordes of walkers from pushing them in?

• Jesus, how many douchebag sons does Deanna have? Last week the group met Aiden, Douche Son #1, and this week Sasha's introduced to Spencer, Douche Son #2. Hopefully that's it.

• I'm still trying to get used to seeing the characters all spiffed up, especially Michonne in her cop uniform and Suburban Casual Abraham. I barely recognize some of them. It just doesn't seem natural. 

I'm betting the actors are loving this new storyline though, as they no longer have to be covered in grime and sweat eighteen hours a day.

• Did Eugene and Father Gabriel fall off the show? Are they even still regulars? I didn't see them at the party.

• As Carol sneaks into the armory, she's discovered by Jessie's son Sam. When Sam says he has to tell his mom what he's seen, Carol quietly leans over him and sweetly, but ominously says, "You can never tell anyone. Especially your mom. Because if you do, one morning you'll wake up and you won't be in your bed. You'll be outside the walls. Far, far away, tied to a tree. And you'll scream and scream because you'll be so afraid. But no one will come to help, because no one will hear you. Well, something will hear you. The monsters will come. The ones out there. And you won't be able to run away when they come for you. And they will tear you apart and eat you up all while you're still alive. All while you can still feel it. And then afterwards, no one will ever know what happened to you. Or... you can promise not to ever tell anyone what you saw here. And then nothing will happen. And you'll get cookies. Lots of cookies. I know what I think you should do."

Holy crap, Carol! That's pretty dark!

Her little speech was perfect too, because of the "sweet" persona she's adopted in Alexandria. If Sam ever does tell, all she has to do is laugh it off and say, "Oh, that Sam and his imagination."

• Aaron and Eric show Daryl the half-finished motorcycle in their garage, and tell him they want him to finish it and become Alexandria's new recruiter. Because god knows, every recruiter needs a loud-ass motorcycle when he's going to clandestinely observe a group for several days to determine if they're suitable material for Alexandria.

• Last week we got a brief, shadowy and ominous glimpse of Jessie's husband, and I wondered if he might be Pete, Alexandria's resident from the comic. Looks like I was right.

Without getting too spoilery for people who haven't read the comic, Pete isn't a very nice guy, but his behavior is tolerated because, hey, he's the only doctor they've got.

• What the hell, Rick? Five minutes after you meet Jessie's husband at a party, you kiss her? Are you just trying to start trouble?

Daryl and Sasha's antisocial behavior is understandable because they're only hurting themselves. I can't see any excuse for Rick's behavior though. All he's going to do is cause pain and suffering to Jessie and Pete. It makes Rick look less like an individual damaged by the world and more like an asshole.

By the way, at the end of the episode, Pete and Jessie wave to Rick as he walks down the street. Both Rick and Jessie have a red letter "A" stamped on their hands, courtesy of Sam. Would that be "A" as in "adulterer?" Subtle!

Also, seeing Rick staring at the large red "A" on his right hand made me a little uneasy. Readers of the comic will know why. I know the producers have said TV Rick's not going to be maimed, but they've lied to us before.

• Speaking of letters, in this episode we see a very prominent W on a zombie's forehead. Then we see Rick's hand is stamped with a bright red letter A. I was waiting to see a large R somewhere. Or am I seeing things that aren't really there?

• What the hell was going on with Rick in the final scene? First he instinctively reaches for his gun when he sees Pete walk by with Jessie. Then he hears a walker banging on the outside of the wall and places his hand on the same spot on the inside, almost lovingly. Does he miss life out in the wild? Or is he losing it like Sasha, and becoming a true danger to Alexandria?

Stamp Out Daylight Savings Time!

Once again it's that magical time of year when I'm forced against my will to get up at 4:30 AM and pretend it's 5:30 AM.

Daylight Savings Time. How I loathe it.

I'll bet if you asked any of our current lawmakers why we still adhere to this outdated and abhorrent custom, not a one of them would be able to offer a logical explanation. Most would probably say it has something to do with farmers and giving them more time to plant crops. It does not. 

DST was originated by the Germans in 1916 as a way to save fuel during WWI. Yes, that's right. We all lost an hour of our lives today due to a decision made by our former enemies over a hundred years ago. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Most people believe DST saves energy by giving us an extra hour of light at night. It does no such thing, and studies have shown energy usage actually goes up a percentage or two during DST. It's also dangerous, as auto wrecks and suicides rise the week after it's implemented.

For decades I lived in a part of the country that didn't recognize DST. We were on the same time all year round, and guess what? The city wasn't razed to the ground. We were never visited by seven plagues. Dogs and cats didn't begin living together. We happily went about our business while the rest of the country used more power, crashed their cars into one another and hanged themselves. The only minor downside of not recognizing DST is that our TV shows started at 7PM in the spring, and 8PM in the fall.

It's way past time we stopped this antiquated and ridiculous tradition. I urge everyone to relentlessly pester their lawmakers to repeal this idiotic piece of legislation, until they throw up their hands in defeat and cede to our wishes. 

Even better, let's all just ignore DST Let the government do whatever they want with their clocks, and we'll all just keep ours on the same time year round. Sure, we'll all be an hour late for work eight months out of the year, but that's a small price to pay to keep our internal clocks regulated.

Super Suit

This week CBS began filming the pilot for their Supergirl series. It stars Melissa Benoist as Supergirl. Benoist previously starred in Glee. Oddly enough, The Flash's Grant Gustin is also a Glee alum. What is it with that show and superheroes?

I'm honestly surprised they're calling the series SuperGIRL. Given our politically correct, all-inclusive, hypersensitive society, it's a wonder they didn't call it Super Empowered Young Woman, Unequaled Woman Of Strength or Exceptional Woman Who Don't Need No Man To Tell Her She's Super.

Also this week, CBS released an image of the Supergirl costume:

Eh, it's actually not bad. I like it. It looks quite a bit like the one Supergirl wore in her comics debut way back in 1959. It's also very similar to the one Helen Slater wore in the 1984 Supergirl movie.

Of course DC couldn't help themselves and constructed the costume out of the same scaly, reptilian substance they used for Superman's outfit a couple of years ago in Man Of Steel. Because God forbid they make a costume out of some kind of cloth. It's even festooned with superfluous piping and details just like his.

And just like the Man Of Steel get-up, it's dull, drab and dingy-looking. Would it have killed them to have added a bit of color to it? This is DC we're talking about though, and they firmly believe superhero movies should be dark and joyless affairs, hence the funereal colors.

I took the liberty of lightening the costume in Photoshop. There, now doesn't that look better? Doesn't that look like the costume of someone who's happy to have her powers and actually enjoys being a hero?

I guess it could have been worse. They could have gone with this recent comic version of the costume, complete with useless boot holes that leave the knees unprotected, along with a giant red crotch arrow. Note to DC's comic artists: "Red" and "Crotch" are two words that should never appear next to one another.

Never Tell Me The Odds

This week actor Harrison Ford was injured after crash-landing his WWII-era plane onto a Los Angeles golf course.

The seventy two year old Ford suffered multiple gashes to his head, as well as a broken pelvis and ankle. Though extensive, his injuries are not considered life-threatening, and he's expected to make a full recovery.

That's good, because This I Vow: If we lose both Mr. Spock and Han Solo in the same freakin' week, I'm going to track down this "God" person and kick his ass.

Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2, Episode 11: Aftershocks

Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. is finally back from its three month-long vacation. Would that we could all take off that much time each year!

This episode marks a turning point in the series, as it moves in a completely new direction. When it first started it was all about non-super powered secret agents struggling to keep the world safe. Unfortunately that turned out to be pretty dull, as most viewers were expecting to see The Avengers-level excitement on a weekly basis. The producers finally seem to realize this and at long last are giving us actual superheroes in their superhero show. Was that so hard, guys? I definitely think this is a good thing. Whether it comes too late to bring viewers back and save the series, we'll have to wait and see.

One thing that troubles me a bit— the producers have stated in recent interviews that the show's going to get much darker in the second half of the season. Really, darker? It hasn't exactly been a laugh fest up to now. I really hope this isn't true. If anything this show needs more fun, ala The Flash over on The CW.

They finally use the "I" word in this episode!

SPOILERS!

The Plot:

We start with a flashback to the 1980s, where we see Nightcrawler, er, I mean Gordon, the eyeless man from the previous episode, trying desperately to teleport out of his cell. He's talked down by Skye's mother, who we learn is named Jiaying, is alive in this time period, and is apparently specializing in the care and feeding of Inhumans.

In the present day, Skye's in quarantine after coming out of her shell (literally!) in the last episode. Meanwhile Simmons is still in Puerto Rico, cleaning up the mess in the underground Inhuman city, including sweeping up what's left of Trip. Ew! A shadowy figure creeps around the city, and we see it's Raina, who's been transformed into a some kind of vicious porcupine woman. She attacks several S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, including Simmons, before escaping. Coulson orders the city to be flooded, so HYDRA can't get their mitts on it.

Raina's upset because the Terrigen Mist transformed her into a freak but left Skye's looks untouched. She tracks down Skye's dad Cal and asks him to help her. He coldly tells her that she wanted to become an Inhuman, and she got her wish. If she can't stand the heat, maybe she should just kill herself. Harsh!

Now that Whitehall's dead, several HYDRA members meet and agree that whichever one of them destroys S.H.I.E.L.D. will win his position. Coulson realizes that HYDRA's leadership is in disarray and the time is right to strike. He contacts General Talbot and says he's handing HYDRA agent Bakshi (who I could have sworn died last year) to him. During the transfer, Coulson and May are ambushed by HYDRA agents and are seemingly killed, freeing Bakshi. Lance Hunter appears and tells Bakshi he's decided to defect. He then takes Bakshi to the home of Octavian Bloom, one of HYDRA's senior members.

Unknown to Bakshi though, the whole thing was a ruse. Coulson and May aren't dead, and Hunter kills Bloom. Meanwhile, the other HYDRA leaders kill one another as they try to win Whitehall's position, effectively doing Coulson's work for him. That was easy!

Simmons tests some of Raina's found DNA and discovers it's been totally transformed. She then fears there may be a super-powered epidemic threatening humanity, and wants to wipe out all traces of Inhuman activity, which seems a bit overkill. She tests Skye's blood to see if she's been infected as well. Fitz examines Skye's DNA and realizes she's become an Inhuman, but falsifies the records and lets her out of quarantine.

Mockingbird and Mack continue their secret little scheme, and the Team holds a wake for Trip.

In the final scene, Raina does indeed try to kill herself, but is rescued by the now adult Gordon, who teleports her away to... somewhere.

Thoughts:

• According to the internet, the eyeless teleporter Gordon is most likely supposed to be Reader, a relatively new Inhuman from the comics. I'm not familiar with the character, so I'll have to take everyone's word for that.

• Good: It was nice to see Skye's mom again, even if it is just in a flashback.

Bad: When she says, "I won't live forever." That's definitely an ominous line, knowing what we know about her future.

By the way, I'm not sure exactly how old Skye's supposed to be, but this flashback probably occurs before she was born.

• Bakshi figures prominently in Coulson's little HYDRA ruse, which surprised me. I could have sworn Bakshi died last year, while being interrogated by Mockingbird in the episode The Things We Bury. I guess he got better.

I looked it up and he tried to swallow a cyanide capsule, but was saved at the last second by S.H.I.E.L.D.'s medical staff. See, this is why taking three months off is a bad thing for a serialized show. I can't remember every little detail for months on end.

• As Coulson and May are transporting Bakshi, they're attacked by HYDRA agents. May appears to be killed, and Coulson comes out guns a'blazin,' yelling, "You'll never take us alive!" in the most ridiculous manner possible. That's the point where I knew it was all a ruse. 

• During Bakshi''s little side trip with Hunter, he ducks into a Radio Shack to grab a cell phone. He tells Hunter that all Radio Shacks are fronts for HYDRA outposts.

No wonder they're going out of business!

• Simmons' "scorched earth" policy against Inhumans seems awfully extreme, and seems to come out of nowhere. She's studied exactly one Inhuman, and from that comes to the conclusion they're all dangerous and should be killed on sight. It seemed a bit out of character for her.

• It's pretty much official that the Inhumans have now become the Marvel Cinematic Universe substitute for mutants.

In Marvel comics, mutants like the X-Men are universally feared and despised. Marvel Studios can't use the X-Men or even the word "mutant" due to tangled copyright legalities, so the more noble and royal Inhumans have now become stand-ins for them. Is that a good thing? Time will tell.

• Skye's cooling her heels in quarantine, and is hooked up to at least three or four different machines that are monitoring her vitals. Yet somehow when she "quakes out," none of these machines sounds an alarm.

• Fitz lies about Skye's DNA test to protect her, most likely from Simmons who'd probably put a bullet in her head if she found out what she's become. This is a new dynamic between Fitz and Skye, one that'll be interesting to see play out.

• So we've known for some time that Mockingbird and Mack have some secret agenda. In this episode Mockingbird finally reveals the big secret— she and Mack are in a support group for spies or something. Well that was certainly... lame.

Eventually we find out she was lying, and the two of them are trying to get their hands on Nick Fury's "toolbox" that's stored in Coulson's office. I'm not sure what's in this toolbox, but given the fact Fury was the former head of S.H.I.E.L.D., I'm betting it's not full of screwdrivers and wrenches.

• It seemed awfully easy to eliminate the HYDRA leaders, especially after all the buildup the organization was given in the first half of the season. Are the writers bored with HYDRA already?

  

Despite the fact that Coulson managed to wipe out their front office, I wouldn't count them out just yet. What's that motto they have? Something about cutting off heads?

• Once again, super secret spy organization HYDRA slaps their logo on everything, including their mahogany conference room table.

• Raina's Inhuman makeup was very well done, but it's a shame Ruth Negga's natural beauty's going to be covered up by prosthetics from now on.

I'm a bit puzzled as to why Raina keeps saying she's covered with thorns. They look more like quills to me. Maybe she calls them thorns because she's "The Girl In The Flower Dress?"

• Meta scene of the episode: Lance Hunter kills Octavian Bloom. Bloom is played by actor Fred Dryer, who starred in the 1980s TV show Hunter. So Hunter just killed Hunter!

• They managed to name-drop Baron Von Strucker quite a bit in this episode. He last appeared in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Hopefully we'll see him show up on the series.

• The "Trip's Wake" scene at the end, while well acted, seemed a little... forced. Everyone's sitting around reminiscing about how cool and awesome Trip was, and how much they all loved him. Too bad we never actually got to see any of that on the show. The writers never seemed to know what to do with him, and seemed like a cypher to me. It's almost like they filmed the cast reacting to the loss of their fellow cast mate B.J. Britt.

• During the wake, Skye feels sad that Trip's gone and says, "We're going to laugh a lot less, that's for sure."

Really? I haven't seen a whole lot of laughing up to this point, and I for darn sure never heard Trip say anything funny. How do you laugh less than zero?

• Fitz examines Skye's readings and says during her "quake out," her heart was beating nearly three hundred times a minute. Skye says, "That's very fast," and Fitz says, "No, that's inhuman."

He said it! He finally said it! They've been dancing around the word for weeks now, almost like they were afraid to say it. Nice to finally hear them confirm that the Inhumans are now a thing on the show.

If You See Something, Say Something!

This week popular bourgeois pizza restaurant Domino's launched brand new social program.

Domino's Leadership announce they design glorious new logo to honor Motherland. Unfortunately, certain capitalist dog franchise owners have not replaced old outdated logo. This is serious violation, as all Domino's must conform! Citizens urged to seek out franchises with old logo and report violation to Domino's Central Command.

Cossacks who refuse to update to new logo will be sent to gulag, while citizens who report them will receive free gift card, and chance to win free pizza for year.

Remember Comrades! It is your duty to report your non-conforming, running dog neighbors for the glory of the Motherland!

The Walking Dead Season 5, Episode 12: Remember

As I predicted last week, this episode marks a new direction for The Walking Dead that'll change it forever, as Team Rick finally finds a safe haven. Well, sort of safe. As safe as anything can be in their world.

It was fascinating to watch the main characters, all of whom have been surviving in the wild for so long, trying to deal with the luxuries and amenities of civilization again. Carl in particular seemed to have trouble relating to normal teens again. I guess killing your own mother after she dies giving birth to your sister will do that to a kid.

I don't particularly trust Deanna Monroe, the leader of Alexandria. There's no way she let a group of violent mercenaries like Rick & Co. into her community out of charity. She's got an ulterior motive, one which probably involves protection— most likely from a rival group.

Once again we see that at this point there's very little difference between Rick & Co. and most of the other groups they've encountered. Sure, we know what's happened to Team Rick that's made them this way, but to an outside observer they probably look like a psychotic murder gang.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:

Picking up where we left off last week, Rick and company enter the Alexandria Safe-Zone. They're told they'll have to give up their weapons, but Rick refuses to do so until he talks to their leader Deanna.

The group meets with Deanna, who interviews (and records) each of them individually. Rick tells her she and her people have grown soft behind their walls, and warns her to keep the gates closed against marauders.

The group finally agrees to give up their weapons and are given two empty houses, complete with electricity and running water. They take advantage of the amenities, showering and shaving for the first time in months. Except for Daryl of course, who's got to be smelling pretty badly by now. They still don't trust the Alexandrians though and refuse to be split up, staying together in one home.

Rick meets his neighbor Jessie, who offers to give him a much-needed haircut. This is met with disapproval by Jessie's husband, who I'm sure won't be causing any trouble in future episodes. Carl meets some kids his own age, but has forgotten how to simply "hang out." One of the teens is a morose young girl named Enid, who definitely has a secret.

Glenn, Tara and Noah join Deanna's son Aiden on a supply run. Aiden is much less experienced than Rick's people at killing and avoiding walkers, and his actions almost cause Tara to be killed. Back at Alexandria, Glenn confronts Aiden which results in a brawl. Well, make that "Aiden takes a swing at Glenn, who effortlessly hands him his ass." Deanna breaks up the fight and says the new group are now equals, and appoints Rick and Michonne as the police force.

Later Rick meets with Daryl and Carol. They all agree that civilization has made the Alexandrians weak. Rick says that if the residents can't learn to protect themselves, then he and his group will just take over.

Thoughts:

• Last week's episode ended with Rick hearing the laughter of children coming from the other side of the Alexandria wall, and finally accepting that Aaron and his group weren't going to try and eat them. I joked that it would be funny if he went through the gate and saw that the sound of the kids was coming from a tape player.

Welp, in this episode Team Rick goes through the gates and guess what? No kids! So where was the laughter coming from?

• In the comic, the leader of Alexandria was a man named Douglas Monroe. Here he's had a gender change and is now Deanna Monroe. This is the 2010s after all, and above all else we have to be diverse and all-inclusive. I'm honestly surprised the producers stopped there and didn't make Deanna an African American Muslim lesbian anti-vaxxer amputee who believes in equal rights for the dead.

• Deanna interviews all of Team Rick and videotapes their responses. That's something I never thought I'd see on this show— talking head interviews, ala The Office or The Real World.

Note that Daryl brought the possum he killed to his "interview."

• Deanna tells Rick that Alexandria has its own solar grid, cisterns and sewage treatment plant. Well that was certainly convenient!

She also mentions that Northern Virginia was evacuated early in the zombie crisis, so they've never encountered many walkers or even people. Again, that was certainly convenient, and helps explain how the hell they were able to erect walls all the way around the community without being constantly gnawed on by walkers.

She also admits that she's done some bad things herself, but doesn't elaborate. Did she kill someone? Banish them for not playing along? Set a glass on her antique table without a coaster?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict that Deanna knows Alexandria is soft and weak, and wants to add Rick and his group for protection, most likely from some other community that's becoming a threat. She's not fooling anyone— she's not bringing them into the fold out of the goodness of her heart.

• Deanna tells Rick that it's precisely 3:37 pm. He immediately sets his watch, revealing that he's been guessing at the correct time for months.

So how does Deanna know the exact time? She says she's been living in Alexandria since the early days of The Fall, so I suppose she could have been wearing the same watch every day since, and kept it wound and accruate. It still seemed odd to me though.

• Rick tells Deanna that she should keep the gates closed and not let anyone in, ever. He says there are people out there who measure you by what they can take from you.

Who's he talking about here? People like the Governor? The Termites? Or him and his own group?

• Rick takes a long, hot shower, probably the first one he's had in... months? Years? He then shaves off his abundant mountain man beard. A couple things here.

First of all, a few months ago fans were losing their sh*t because they saw photos of a clean shaven Andrew Lincoln, taken before the season had finished filming. These people were absolutely convinced this had to mean Rick was being killed off, and Lincoln no longer needed his beard.

Readers of the comic knew that theory was bushwah, and that the real reason he shaved was because this Alexandria storyline was coming up next.

Secondly, I've mentioned this next point again, but it bears repeating. It's nice to know that even in the middle of a horrible zombie apocalypse, even after Rick's very humanity has been chipped away bit by bit until he no longer feels anything, he still has the time and motivation to do some manscaping.

Back in the first season, Rick sported quite a crop of chest hair. Now his entire torso is smoother than a baby's bottom. And he didn't do the pruning in this episode either— his hairlessness was first seen back in Season 4 in the episode Claimed. Whatever real world reason Andrew Lincoln may have had for shaving him entire body, he's making Rick look like an idiot. I don't know why this bugs me so much, but it does. I think because it's such a blatant and ridiculous continuity error.

• Rick meets his new neighbor Jessie, who offers to cut his hair. I'm assuming she's being set up as a love interest for Rick, despite the fact that she's married.

Rick meets her husband briefly, as he sits menacingly on his shadowy front porch. He has the charming ability to say "Welcome to Alexandria" and make it sound like "F*ck you." I wonder if he's the doctor Aaron spoke of last week? In the comic Alexandria had a doctor who wasn't a very nice person, but the community tolerated his behavior because they needed his expertise.

• As the entire group huddles together in one house, we see Carl reading a book that says "Wolf Fight" on the back. A couple episodes ago we saw graffiti in Noah's old neighborhood that read "Wolves Not Far." Is that some more foreshadowing? Possibly for the group who chopped up the walkers?

• Michonne exits the bathroom and says she couldn't stop brushing her teeth. Just last week I was wondering about that— how has this group has been dealing with their dental health all this time? Are they brushing regularly? Probably not. Poor tooth health would be a bitch in a zombie apocalypse.

• Deanna interviews Carol, who mentions how much she misses her big, dumb, lovable husband Ed. She then says she's a "people person," asks if there's some social group she can join, and starts dressing like Barbara Billingsley. She's definitely playing Deanna here, putting on a "soccer mom" act so she can infiltrate the community and find out what's really going on.

This of course puts Deanna's claim that she's "good at reading people" in serious doubt.

• It suddenly struck me in this episode that Carl's getting a little too old to be wearing that sheriff hat. He could get away with it when he was nine or ten, but as a gawky teenager, it ain't working.

• Carl meets some teens his own age, including a girl named Daria, er, I mean Enid. She's a typical snarky teen who recently joined the community and just happens to occasionally scale the wall of her fortified village and venture into the zombie-filled woods alone.

She's definitely got a secret. I'm guessing she's the one who stole the gun Rick hid in the woods last week. I also wouldn't be surprised to find out she's some kind of spy or scout for another nearby group.

• Rick sneaks outside in order to inspect Alexandria's perimeter. He walks past the walls, which are all braced with slanted steel beams on the outside. Isn't that backwards? Wouldn't you want the braces on the inside, to protect the walls from outside things trying to knock them down?

If the braces are on the outside, all a Governor-type psycho would have to do is crash his truck into a couple of them and boom! The wall falls down and you've got instant access to the community.

Far be it from me to argue with Deanna's architect husband, but putting the supports on the outside just doesn't seem right.

• Deanna's son is named Aiden, because he's an incredible douche and that's the douchiest name the writers could come up with (Sorry, Aidens of the world). He's the leader of the Supply Run Team, and is the episode's Designated Asshole™. You know, a character who acts like a jerk for no other reason than because the script says so, to make life tough for the hero. Think Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter books.

• Glenn, Tara and Noah are chosen for supply run training. Really, Noah? The kid with the messed up ankle? Shouldn't he be on dishwashing duty or something until his leg heals or the doctor can reset it?

• Glenn has a little scuffle with Aiden, after he almost gets him killed. Deanna breaks up the fight and shouts to the populace that Rick and his people, who've been in Alexandria a grand total of two days, are now equals, and appoints Rick and Michonne as constables.

Favoring these violent newcomers so quickly doesn't seem like a particularly good idea on Deanna's part, especially for someone who, as I said before, claims to be an "expert" at reading people.

This Week In Odd Supermarket Sightings

A couple of years ago I went on one of my patented, crowd-pleasing rants about Big Cereal's insidious new practice of surreptitiously shrinking their product boxes while keeping the price the same.

I specifically called out Kellogg's for aiming their Shrink-O-Tron ray at their Crunchy Nut cereal, reducing it by almost a full ounce while leaving the price at an inflated $3.99 or whatever it cost.

Wiseacre that I am, I quipped that if left unchecked, we'd eventually see ridiculously thin boxes of cereal like the one on the right here.

Looks like my little joke was frighteningly prescient. Take a look at this suspiciously narrow box of cereal I spotted in the wild on my latest expedition to the grocery. It's a good two inches narrower than its neighbors on either side. If it gets any narrower it's gonna be hard for it to stand upright without assistance.

I have no doubt that this svelte new box holds significantly less than the previous version did, while costing exactly the same (if not more).

I was right about the boxes getting thinner in the future— I was just wrong about the direction.

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I also recently spotted this at my local grocery— yes, we now live in a world in which it's possible to buy muffin tops, sans the boring, less delicious and disposable bottoms. Just like in the 1997 The Muffin Tops episode of Seinfeld.

All will hail and pay homage to our new prophet and seer, Elaine Benes!