Monday, December 30, 2013

Historical Inaccuracies In "Saving Mr. Banks"

Saving Mr. Banks is the newest film from Walt Disney Studios and tells the true-life story of Uncle Walt's attempts to convince author P.L. Travers to sell him the movie rights to Mary Poppins.

Audiences and critics alike are praising the film, despite it playing fast and very loose with the facts. In real life Disney and Travers' relationship was contentious at best. Disney's attempts to secure the rights from her bordered on harassment and Travers fought him for script approval every step of the way. She wasn't even invited to the premiere, but attended anyway and was so horrified by the finished product that she burst into tears. 

But this is a Disney film after all, so you'll see none of that on the screen. Instead you get a revisionist version of what happened, full of warm and fuzzy white-washed "facts." 

As a public service to my loyal Bob Canada's BlogWorld readers, I've compiled a list of just a few of the Historical Inaccuracies In Saving Mr. Banks:

• Walt Disney and P.L. Travers never fought to the death in gladiatorial combat.

• In the climax of Mary Poppins, the magical nanny did not lead an attack on the Death Star.

• Disney never placed the severed head of Travers' beloved thoroughbred race horse in her bed to convince her to sell him the movie rights.

• Neither Walt Disney nor P.L. Travers had the ability to fold themselves into sports cars and engage in a high speed chase.

• In Mary Poppins, Bert the Chimney Sweep never battled the Balrog as they hurtled into the bottomless depths of Khazad Dum.

• Walt Disney never referred to P.L. Travers as a "smug, brittle Aussie lesbo."

• Mary Poppins never sang "A Spoonful Of Sugar" in the nude while riding a wrecking ball.

• In real life P.L. Travers never became so incensed with the changes Disney made to her book that she decapitated him with a ritual blade, drew glyphs on her face with his blood and raised his severed head in the air while ululating wildly.

• Walt Disney never forcibly held P.L. Travers captive inside the "It's A Small World" attraction for twenty seven straight days to break her spirit and force her to sell him the rights.

• In the Disney film, Mary Poppins never savagely snapped Bert's neck to prevent him from killing an innocent family with his heat ray vision.

• Disney never utilized his "Hall Of Presidents" technology to send a murderous cyborg into the past to kill Travers' estranged father, thus preventing her birth.

• Travers never sat down with a drink in her hand while provocatively arching one leg, with Disney visible below her shapely gam as he muttered, "Mrs. Travers, you're trying to seduce me."

• When Mary Poppins and the Banks children visit Uncle Albert, they did not inject bath salts to gain the ability to float up to the ceiling.

• Travers did not conceive of the idea for Mary Poppins after touching a smooth, featureless black obelisk that suddenly appeared before her tribe of primitive of cave dwellers.

• Disney never had plans to turn the story into a horror film titled The Poppining.

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