Friday, June 19, 2015

This Week In Off-Putting Fast Food Sandwiches

This week Burger King Japan upped the ante in the highly completive world of Ill-Advised And Off-Putting Fast Food Concoctions, with their new Aka Burger.

The Aka Burger ("aka" meaning "red" in Japanese) uses tomato powder to produce its eye-searing color. Lord knows what's in the cheese to make it look like that. It also comes slathered with a so-called "Angry Sauce," made of red pepper, miso paste and Chinese chili bean sauce.

If you think this "angry" burger looks alarming now, wait till you look in your toilet bowl the day after eating one! Eh? Amirite?

(At this point Bob squirms in his chair and gnashes his teeth, wrestling with an internal struggle as he ponders whether he should post an image of a bloody toilet bowl here, to hammer home his point. In the end he succumbs to decorum and good taste, and chooses not to do so, instead letting the audience use their imaginations to picture the scene)

If for some unfathomable reason you're interested (and are planning a trip to Japan), the Aka Burger is available in either Samurai Beef or Samurai Chicken, and goes on sale July 3. You know, I could see an American marketing agency coming up with a name as stupid as "Samurai Beef," but it seems odd that the Japanese would call it that themselves. Maybe they've just thrown in the towel and accepted the fact that everyone in the world believes all Japanese know karate and are either ninjas or samurai. 

The Aka Burger isn't the first ill-advised sandwich cooked up by Burger King Japan. Last year they released their equally off-putting Kuro Burger, complete with a sinister looking black bun and topped with a floor mat-like slice of inexplicably black cheese.

Maybe next year they'll really lose their minds and try a normal looking burger fit for human consumption.

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