If There's A Bright Center To The Universe, You're On The Planet That It's Farthest From...

DATELINE: CORUSCANT–– This week Shev Mundo, Chancellor of the New Galactic Republic, passed a controversial new bill that recognizes droids as legal citizens, and grants them the same rights as all sentient beings.

"Our Republic was founded on a basic principle, that we are all created equal," said Mundo. "Whether we come from a womb, an egg, a cloning pod or are constructed on a factory assembly line in the Industrial District, we're all the same"

Mundo went on to say, "This is a victory for Coruscant. It affirms what most citizens already feel in their hearts. Only when all of Coruscant is equal, will we all finally be free!"

The bill calls for the immediate classification of droids as citizens and not property. Under the new bill, droids will now enjoy the same benefits as organic life forms, including the right to determine their own destiny, the right to not be arbitrarily shut down when they prattle on, the right to refuse to be sent into dangerous situations, and even the right to marry.

"Thank the Maker," said J-9T9, a protocol droid from Coruscant's Western Megaplex 47, who praised the decision. "It's wonderful to know that I can now refuse an order that goes against my basic program without being sent to the spice mines on Kessell. Plus I can now spend my .07 seconds of daily downtime with my significant other."

X9-G9, an astromech from Shipyard #12,789 of Courscant, said, "Breeep deedle deet vrrrrrrrt vrrrrrrrt beeeple tleet." Wise words indeed from an ecstatic citizen.

While most of the organic population praised the ruling, many were unhappy with the decision. A vocal minority immediately  took to social media to voice their displeasure, threatening to move to Tattooine, a remote planet of the Republic located in the Outer Rim.

The dissenters may want to bone up on their local politics, as the Tattooinian government is currently drafting a similar droid equality measure. The bill has already passed among the Human and Hutt factions, and officials are currently waiting to see how the influential Sandpeople vote.

Remove The Flag? In Our Moment Of Triumph? I Think You Overestimate Their Chances!

DATELINE: CORUSCANT–– This week Shev Mundo, Chancellor of the New Galactic Republic, called for the immediate removal of the Imperial flag from all public buildings in the Southern Hemisphere of the capitol planet of Coruscant. The planet-wide metropolis, which lies at the center of the galactic core, is the seat of government in the New Republic.

Mundo said the removal of the flags was in response to a growing backlash against symbols of the Empire, which was defeated when Emperor Palpatine was destroyed some 150 years ago.

According to Mundo, the stark black and white flag is a reminder of a dark and shameful period in the galaxy, when the evil Galactic Empire ruled through fear, grip-tightening and moon-sized battle stations. "The last remnants of the Empire have been swept away forever," said Mundo. "The flags have become a distraction. Removing them will allow the Galactic Senate move on to more pressing matters."

"While we must be ever mindful of the past," said Mundo, "We cannot let it define us." 

For over a century, images of the Empire have generated controversy, as many viewed them as painful symbols of evil and oppression. Others claim the flag is honoring ancestors who fought in the War.

The majority of the public has agreed with the decision. Rax Gundollian, a spice merchant from Corellia, said, "It's about time the flags were taken down. They should never have been allowed to fly as long as they did. The Empire lost. It's just too bad Ackbar didn't let General Rieekan drive them into the sun."

Many opposed the removal. Garn Kremoni, a midlevel file clerk at the First Bank Of Coruscant, said, "Any attack made against this flag will be a useless gesture. Mundo's sad devotion to ancient governmental procedure hasn't helped him conjure up a positive approval rating, nor given him clairvoyance enough to know what the people want." Kremoni then ominously intoned, "I find your lack of flags disturbing."

Others were downright sarcastic. Vrax Gosular, a programmer employed in the Kremplor Droid Factory, said, "I'm glad to see the Senate has apparently solved every other problem facing the Republic, so they can devote all their time and effort to removing flags."

Some citizens were downright cryptic. Grakarrwaaa, a Wookiee immigrant from Kashyyyk, said, "ROOWWRR! GRAAAAAWAWAWAWAW! ROOOOKKHHHHHH!"

So far the Imperial flags have been removed from Coruscant only, but pundits expect the movement to quickly spread throughout the Galaxy, even to Outer Rim planets such as Tattooine. Dahn Windstabber, a student at the Southern University of Mos Eisley, said, "You can take away our flags, but you ain't never gonna take away our spirit! The Sith shall rise again! Yeeee-haw!"