Happy Tenth Anniversary To The Marvel Cinematic Universe!

Happy 10th Anniversary to the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

It all started with Iron Man, which premiered exactly ten years ago today on May 2, 2008! Who'd have ever believed back then that we'd get a whopping EIGHTEEN more movies? And that with a couple of inevitable exceptions (I'm lookin' at you, Iron Man 3), they've all been pretty awesome?

And who in 2008 could have foreseen that we'd get a massive crossover movie like Infinity War, that teams up virtually every single character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Or that the general public, not just comic book fans, would be invested in these characters and flock to the cineplex in droves to see what happens to them?

It's honestly amazing to me successful these movies have been, and how well the MCUs been handled. Here's hoping the next ten years are just as much fun!

It Came From The Cineplex: Captain America: Civil War

Captain America: Civil War was written by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely. It was directed by Anthony and Joe Russo.

Markus and McFeely are screenwriting partners who wrote The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian, The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader, Captain America: The First Avenger, Pain & Gain (eh, you can't hit a home run every time at bat), Thor: The Dark World and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. If there's a colon in the title of a film, odds are they wrote it. 

The Russo brothers previously directed Welcome To Collinwood, You, Me and Dupree (again, you can't hit one out of the park every time) and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Civil War is the thirteenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and is a sequel to both Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. In fact it's more like Avengers 2.5 than it is a Captain America sequel, as it features almost every member of the Avengers.

It's loosely based on the Marvel comic book miniseries Civil War, in which the government demands all superheroes register their powers and secret identities or else, and Captain America and Iron Man find themselves on opposite sides of the issue.

It's impossible to talk about Captain America: Civil War without comparing it to Dark Knight V Hopeman, er, I mean Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Especially since they both feature virtually the same plot: Superheroes tricked into trying to kill one another by a lame villain.

THIS is the movie that Dark Knight V Hopeman should have been and desperately wanted to be. Unfortunately for it, Civil War is far superior in every measurable sense.

So why did one fail while the other is an unqualified success? One word: greed.

Back in 2008, Marvel Studios produced a little film called Iron Man. Over the next five years, they carefully and patiently released several more movies starring Captain America, Thor and various other Marvel heroes. The films were all interconnected, as characters from one film would pop up in someone else's, just like in the comics. 

Once they'd established this little cinematic universe, they teamed up their various characters in 2012's The Avengers. Their unique strategy paid off, as the film was a huge hit, grossing over $1.5 BILLION dollars worldwide.

This success was not lost on Warner Bros., owners of DC Comics. They decided they wanted a piece of that sweet, sweet shared world pie for themselves, and started planning their own little cinematic universe. But instead of introducing individual characters and then teaming them up, they went the exact opposite route. They teamed up their characters first, and worried about properly introducing them later. That's how we ended up with the grim, murky and emotionally unengaging Dark Knight V Hopeman.

Civil War works because the conflict between Cap and Iron man is earned. We've seen these two work together as friends (or at least friendly rivals) over the past eight years. So it's tragic when they end up on opposite sides of an issue. We feel it when their friendship is torn apart and they become enemies.

We got absolutely none of that in Dark Knight V Hopeman. We've never seen Batman or Superman together onscreen before. They have no history together, and most importantly, no friendship to be torn asunder. They've never even met before! It was like watching two strangers fight. And DC wants us to feel bad when they start trying to kill one another? Who the hell cares? And how the hell could Warner Bros. possibly greenlight such a film?

Once again Marvel makes creating their cinematic universe look effortless, while every one of DC's attempts at getting theirs off the ground looks like this.

The fight scenes in Civil War are better than in any previous Marvel film. I don't know if we have the Russos to thank for this or the stunt coordinator, but kudos to whoever's responsible.

The film also features the first appearance of Black Panther in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Panther's integration into the film was very well done, and is completely seamless. He has a strong motivation for being in the film and interacting with the characters, and actually has an effect on the plot. I can't wait to see his standalone movie. 

After more than a decade, Spider-Man's finally back at Marvel Studios where he belongs! As hard as it is to believe, back in the 1990s, Marvel Comics was very near bankruptcy. In order to save the company, they began selling the movie rights to their characters to various studios. Blade went to New Line Cinema, the X-Men and Fantastic Four went to Fox, and Spider-Man went to Sony. Fortunately Marvel recovered, founded a movie studio and started making their own films.

Sony actually made a couple of very good and very successful Spider-Man films, directed by Sam Raimi. Then they tried to reboot the franchise with The Amazing Spider-Man in 2012, and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 in 2014. Both were critical and financial failures.

After witnessing Marvel Studios' unprecedented success, Sony made an historic deal with them. They'd retain the movie rights to Spider-Man, but would allow Marvel Studios to actually produce any subsequent films. And that's how Spider-Man ended up in Civil War.

Unfortunately Spider-Man's introduction isn't as smooth as Black Panther's. Tony Stark stops the movie, puts the plot on hold and pays a visit to Peter Parker to recruit him for his team. The whole scene is very blatant and jarring, and feels tacked on. Even though Spider-Man was one of the best things about Civil War, his scenes feel like they're spliced in from a separate film. You could cut him out of the film entirely and it wouldn't affect the plot one bit.

I enjoyed the fact that we didn't have to sit through two tedious origin stories for Black Panther and Spider-Man. They appear in the film and tell us everything we need to know about them through their actions alone. See, Marvel? You don't have to waste an entire movie on a character's origin.

Sadly, Civil War continues Marvel Studio's long-running tradition of featuring dull and uninteresting villains. Other than Loki, they've pretty much all been washouts, and they seem to be getting progressively worse (I'm lookin' at you, Darren Cross). Helmut Zemo, the ostensible villain of this piece, may be the most underwhelming one yet. He doesn't even have any superpowers! He's just a normal guy with a ridiculously complex revenge plot!

Civil War feels a bit darker than previous Marvel films, which is a fairly alarming development. I much prefer the fun, breezy tone of Guardians Of The Galaxy and Ant-Man, and have no desire to see Marvel go down the grim and gloomy road that DC's paving for itself. I almost wonder if this is an experiment on Marvel's part, to see how the public will respond to a slightly darker film. I'm hoping the tone here is just an aberration due to the "Hero Vs Hero" subject matter, and won't become the norm in future movies.

Now that both DC and Marvel have thoroughly examined the issues of superhero collateral damage and hero vs hero, let's hope this is the last we see of these plots. There's nothing wrong with occasionally using superheroes to reflect real world issues, but enough is enough. Let's get back to the fun and escapism.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
In 1991, Bucky Barnes, aka The Winter Soldier, runs a car off the road. He kills the occupants of the car and recovers a case from the trunk. Don't worry, this'll make sense later.

In the present, the New Avengers— Captain America, Black Widow, War Machine, Falcon, Scarlet Witch and Vision—  are in Lagos, tracking Brock Rumlow, aka Crossbones (who we met in Captain America: The Winter Soldier). He and his fellow mercenaries steal a highly contagious virus from a lab. The Avengers spread out and take care of the mercenaries, while Captain America fights Crossbones. Falcon shoots the merc holding the virus. He drops the vial but Black Widow manages to catch it before it hits the ground. Crossbones uses his hydraulic gauntlets to repeatedly punch Cap and get him on the ropes. Cap gets the upper hand and pins him against a wall. Crossbones tells Cap that Bucky Barnes remembers him, and activates a bomb in his vest. Scarlet Witch surrounds Crossbones with an energy shield, but struggles to contain the explosion. She lifts him into the air, where the force overwhelms her shield, partially destroying a nearby hotel. Welp, so much for Crossbones, I guess!

In America, Tony Stark visits MIT and announces he's set up a the Howard and Maria Stark Foundation to fund every student's research proposal. Backstage a woman shows him a photo of her son. She says he was killed in Sokovia during Age Of Ultron, and accuses the Avengers of being a public menace. Tony takes her harsh words to heart.

Later at Avenger's headquarters, Tony Stark arrives with General Thaddeus Ross (from The Incredible Hulk movie). Ross says that the Avengers were responsible for the deaths of eleven people in Lagos, and the public is beginning to see them as vigilantes. He hands them the Sokovia Accords, a thick document signed by 117 countries. The Accords state that starting now, the Avengers will operate under government supervision, if and when it sees necessary (because government involvement solves every problem, right?). He says if they don't sign the Accords, they'll be forced to retire.

The Avengers then discuss the problem, because that's way more exciting than fighting supervillains. Tony's all for being supervised by the government, while Captain America is opposed to it. The other Avengers are undecided. Cap leaves the meeting in disgust.

The next day Black Widow meets with Cap and tells him that she, Iron Man, War Machine and Vision have signed the Accords. Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch are holding out.

In Vienna, world leaders meet to discuss the Sokovia Accords. Among them is King T'Chaka of the African nation of Wakanda, and his son Prince T'Challa. Wakanda is a small but important country, as it's rich in vibranium, the indestructible metal that Captain America's shield is make from. T'Chaka gives the keynote speech, but an explosion tears through the building, killing him. Security footage shows Bucky planting the bomb. Captain America springs into action. He contacts Black Widow and says he has to be the one to bring in Bucky. 

Meanwhile Bucky is in Bucharest, and sees news reports accusing him of the bombing. Captain America arrives at his apartment to apprehend him. The police arrive and Bucky easily battles his way through them. He leaps out the window to the street below, where he's confronted by the Black Panther. Bucky runs down a busy freeway, as Black Panther chases after him. Cap and Falcon chase Black Panther, trying to stop him from killing Bucky. After a fierce battle, War Machine (who signed the Accords) shows up with the police, and arrest Cap, Bucky, Falcon and Black Panther. The Panther's mask is removed, revealing him to be Prince T'Challa.

The four are taken to Berlin, where their weapons and armor are confiscated. Bucky's taken to an undisclosed location. Tony Stark tells Cap that General Ross wants them all prosecuted. He says he managed to talk Ross out of it, but they have to give up their weapons and costumes. Cap agrees to sign the Accords if Tony promises to have Bucky transferred to an American psych ward. Tony agrees, saying this may even help Scarlet Witch, who's confined to Avengers headquarters, guarded by Vision. When Cap hears this he refuses to sign again and leaves.

At Avengers headquarters, Vision tries to make Scarlet Witch's incarceration pleasant. It even seems like he's flirting a bit. Hawkeye breaks in to rescue Scarlet Witch. Vision tries to stop him, and Scarlet Witch uses her powers to increase his mass and cause the android to fall through the floor. She and Hawkeye escape.

In Berlin, Colonel Helmut Zemo impersonates a psychiatrist to examine Bucky. He reads him a list of HYDRA trigger words that will transform him into the mindless killing machine, the Winter Soldier. Bucky escapes the facility, but is confronted by Captain America. Cap subdues Bucky and takes him away. Bucky regains his senses, and says that Zemo was the real Vienna Bomber, and that he's heading to a secret HYDRA base in Siberia, which houses several more super soldiers like him, waiting to be awakened.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark puts the film on hold for a bit as he visits high school student Peter Parker in New York. He tells Parker that he knows he's secretly Spider-Man, and wants him on his team. 

Cap knows he'll never be able to stop Zemo and clear Bucky's name in time if he waits for government approval, so he decides to go rogue. He assembles a team consisting of Bucky, Falcon, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch and Ant-Man, to go to Siberia and capture Zemo. 

When Iron Man finds out about Cap's plan, he forms his own team to stop him. His team consists of himself, War Machine, Black Panther, Black Widow, Vision and Spider-Man. Iron Man's team intercepts Cap's group at the Leipzig/Halle Airport in Germany. The two superhero teams then clash in an expensive and effects-filled battle. Finally! The reason we all came to watch this movie!

Halfway through through the battle, Ant-Man reveals he can grow as well as shrink, turning into a hundred foot giant. This distracts Iron Man long enough for Cap and Bucky to escape. Black Widow seemingly tries to stop them, but at the last minute turns on her teammate Black Panther. Cap and Bucky fly off in an Avengers Quinjet. War Machine flies after them, as Falcon tries to stop him. Vision shoots at Falcon but misses, hitting War Machine instead. He plummets to Earth and is severely injured. The rest of Cap's team is arrested and placed in the Raft, an underwater prison designed to hold superpowered inmates.

After the battle, Iron Man finds evidence that Bucky was framed for the Vienna explosion, and realizes Cap was right. He heads to Siberia to tell Cap and make peace with him. Cap and Bucky arrive at the HYDRA base, but discover has killed the frozen super soldiers for plot reasons. Just then Iron Man appears, because apparently in the Marvel Cinematic Universe you can get from one country to another in under five minutes. Zemo then enters, and like all good villains, helpfully explains his master plan. 

Zemo admits he framed Bucky for the explosion, but his real plan was to steal the 1991 surveillance footage of Bucky crashing the car and killing its occupants—  Howard and Maria Stark. Gasp! A shaken Iron Man asks Cap if he knew that Bucky killed the Starks. Cap admits that he knew HYDRA was behind their murders, but didn't know it was Bucky. An enraged Iron Man then attacks both Captain America and Bucky. THIS was Zemo's plan all along—  to get revenge against the Avengers by manipulating them into killing one another.

In the battle, Bucky's bionic arm is blown off by Iron Man. Cap disables Iron Man's suit. Iron Man tells Cap that he no longer deserves to carry his shield. Cap drops it to the ground and staggers off with Bucky.

Outside, Zemo sits quietly. Black Panther, who apparently followed everyone to Siberia, stands behind him. Zemo tells Panther that his family was killed in Sokovia, so he decided to destroy the Avengers from within. He tries to kill himself, but Panther stops him and takes him into custody.

Back home, we find out that War Machine was paralyzed in his accident. Tony Stark has fitted him with cybernetic leg enhancements to help him walk. Captain America breaks Hawkeye, Falcon, Ant-Man and Scarlet Witch out of the Raft and takes them to Wakanda, where T'Challa offers them asylum. Bucky chooses to be put into stasis until they can find a way to erase his brainwashing. Peter Parker tries out a new pair of Stark-designed webshooters.

Thoughts:

• In both the Civil War comic and this film, Iron Man sides with the government, agreeing that superheroes with potentially dangerous powers can no longer be allowed to act on their own and need to be regulated. Captain America takes the opposing view, feeling the government is overstepping its bounds.

This seems completely backwards to me. The movie version of Iron Man has always been a bad boy who plays by his own rules. In fact back in Iron Man 2, he refused to hand over his suit technology to the government, because he thought it placed too much power in its hands. 

Meanwhile Captain America is a former soldier and the living symbol of our nation. It feels like he should fully support any policy the government decrees without question. It seems strange that the two have switched places here. The film attempts to explain their respective points of view, but I'm not sure it was entirely successful.

It doesn't help matters that Iron Man is right. The Avengers are dangerous. Yes, in both their films they've done everything they can to minimize casualties, but they still end up obliterating entire cities. The Vision even points out that their presence seems to draw supervillains out of the woodwork, who then attack them.

• I very much liked seeing the New Avengers working together in the awesome opening scene in Lagos. Everyone had a part to play, and they all used their powers in cool and unusual ways.

I really wish that Marvel understood that this is what people want to see in a superhero movie. Heroes using powers against bad guys. I'm betting very few moviegoers were rushed out to the theater to see the Avengers debate a congressional bill.

• In the comics, the Falcon has a real live actual falcon named Redwing, with which he shares a psychic connection. In the film he uses a flying drone, also nicknamed Redwing, that provides him with video and and long range telemetry. 

I'm actually OK with this change! It's a nice update of the comic character, and it makes sense, given our current fascination with drone technology.

• Crossbones, we hardly knew ye! After all the buildup Brock Rumlo received in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, I was expecting to see a lot more of him in this film. Unfortunately he's in it for five minutes tops, before he blows himself up real good.

• I was very impressed with the digital de-aging of Robert Downey Jr. as a teenaged Tony Stark. Marvel Studios dabbled with this last technology year when they "youthened" Michael Douglas in Ant-Man, but they've definitely perfected it here. There was no uncanny valley effect and nothing artificial about the scene whatsoever. It looked like Marvel somehow reached into the past and brought a twenty year old Robert Downey Jr. to 2016 to film the scene.

As this technology becomes more affordable, it won't be long before movie stars will be able to act well into their senior years and still look like ingenues!

• During Tony Stark's Holodeck flashback, we get a look at his parents, Howard and Maria. We've seen Howard many times before, but as near as I can tell this is the first appearance of his mother.

For some reason Marvel has two versions of Howard Stark. There's the young version, played by Dominic Cooper, and the old version, played by Roger Sterling, er, I mean John Slattery. Unfortunately the two actors look absolutely nothing alike. Seriously, look at them! How the hell are we supposed to believe those two are the same person at different stages of his life?

I'm betting there's a lot of confused audience members out there who saw Young Howard Stark in Captain America: The First Avenger and wonder who the hell this silver haired guy is supposed to be.

Couldn't they just put some old age makeup on Dominic Cooper and call it a day? That'd be infinitely preferable to casting someone who looks like a thinner Larry Tate. Hopefully now that we've see Old Howard's death, we won't have to deal with the matter anymore.

• After Tony Stark's MIT speech, he's accosted backstage by the dean of the school, played by Jim Rash. 

Rash's character seems very much like Dean Pelton on Community. Not surprisingly, the Russos directed several episodes of Community, hence this cameo.

Dani Pudi, who played Abed on Community, also had a cameo in Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

• Backstage at MIT, an angry woman confronts Tony Stark, blaming him and the Avengers for the death of her son in Sokovia. Um… I realize the poor lady's upset, but from what we saw in Age Of Ultron, things would have been much, much worse if the Avengers hadn't stepped in. They risked their lives to save as many civilians as they could. In fact Quicksilver even gave his life to save several others.

Of course the Sokovians wouldn't have needed the Avengers to save them if Tony hadn't inadvertently created Ultron, so… maybe she has a point after all.

• At the Avenger's Headquarters, we see the Vision lounging around in a smart outfit, complete with a sweater vest and ascot. So is he wearing actual clothing here, or is it formed from his body like his superhero costume is? Ew...

Whichever it is, I'm glad he was programmed for modesty (unlike similar character Doctor Manhattan), and doesn't walk around naked with his schlong flapping about.

• Captain America attends the funeral of his old beau Peggy Carter. A couple things here:

At the funeral service, Peggy's niece (and CIA agent) Sharon Carter delivers a touching eulogy, sharing her aunt's favorite speech:

"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."

That speech was actually given by Captain America in the Civil War comic book. Nice to see it made it into the film somehow.

Secondly, I'm struggling to understand how Sharon Carter can be Peggy's niece. In the Agent Carter TV series, we learn that Peggy had a brother named Michael, who was killed in 1940 during WWII. He never mentioned having a wife or child. According to Peggy's obituary that we saw in the Emancipation episode of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., she had no other siblings. So how could she have a niece?

This is most likely another case of the movies completely ignoring anything and everything the TV shows set up, and treating them like the second-class citizens of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I bet as far as the Russos are concerned, Peggy has nine or ten siblings, one of whom is Sharon's father.

• Martin Freeman has a minor role in the film as Everett Ross, a State Department official. Freeman sounds really, really odd with an American accent.

• Captain America and Falcon capture Bucky and immobilize him. Cap questions Bucky, and asks if he recognizes him. Bucky stares at him for a moment and says, "Your mother's name was Sarah."

Gah! For a horrifying moment, I thought we were going to get a repeat of one of the stupidest scenes in Dark Knight V Hopeman.

• As Bucky's brainwashing fades, he tells Cap he remembers the two of them going on a double date in Brooklyn in the 1940s. Cap says Bucky's date was a redhead named Dolores, whose nickname was Dot (?). 

Some fans believe this is an Agent Carter reference, as Peggy's nemesis is a member of the Black Widow program named Dottie Underwood. Eh, I think that's a stretch. For one thing, Dottie's a blonde, not a redhead (yes, I'm aware that wigs exist, but still…). Plus as I mentioned before, the movies tend to completely ignore the TV shows.

• Tony Stark takes time out from the movie's plot to visit Peter Parker and recruit him for his team. He chats with Peter's Aunt May as he waits for him to come home. 

Boy, oh boy, Aunt May seems to get younger and younger as the years go by. In the comics she looked like she was ninety if she was a day. In the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies Aunt May was played by Rosemary Harris, who's currently eighty eight years old. In the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man films she was played by Sally Field, who's currently sixty nine. Now Aunt May's being played by Marisa Tomei, who's just a babe of 51. It won't be long before Peter Parker and Aunt May are the same age.

By the way, you have no idea how depressing it is that Aunt May's now being played by an actress who's younger than I am. Where's my rheumatiz medicine?

• The airport battle between Team Cap and Team Iron Man was absolutely awesome. I never thought I'd live to see a battle like this between ten different superheroes on the movie screen! What a time to be alive!

• At the airport, Ant-Man rides atop one of Hawkeye's arrows as he fires it toward Iron Man. This is an homage to Avengers #223, in which Ant-Man did the exact same thing.

• Speaking of homages, there's a shoutout to Arrested Development in the airport battle. At one point you can see the Bluth family's stair truck in the background (at left above). The Bluth logo is missing, but the truck features the exact same paint scheme as the one in the show.

Once again, the Russos directed several episodes of Arrested Development, hence the truck's cameo appearance here.

• When it appears Iron Man's side is winning, Ant-Man reveals an astonishing new power— by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow or something, he can grow as well as shrink!

Believe it or not this happened in the comics as well. Ant-Man (along with the Wasp) was a founding member of the Avengers, and in Issue #2 of the Avengers comic he suddenly gained the ability to grow, becoming Giant Man. I always sort of assumed Stan Lee did this because he realized a guy who could shrink wasn't all that mighty.

• Ant-Man's new ability to grow as well as shrink was the highlight of the airport battle. Too bad it doesn't make a lick of sense though. I brought this up in my review of Ant-Man, but it bears repeating here. In Ant-Man, Scott Lang asks Hank Pym how the shrinking process works. Hank says it "reduces the space between the user's molecules." Unfortunately that wouldn't affect mass. If Ant-Man weighed 180 pounds at six feet tall, he'd still weigh the same at half an inch. That means he's a 180 pound man running along the top of a goon's revolver, or riding on the back of a flying ant. Nope!

I assume just the opposite happens when Scott becomes Giant Man— he's increasing the distance between his molecules. This is still problematic, as he's now a hundred foot tall man who weighs 180 pounds. He'd be like a Thanksgiving Day parade balloon! There's no way he'd be able to damage a plane by stepping on it, or pick up a truck and hurl it. In fact a stiff breeze would probably be enough to blow him away like a kite!

Am I being pedantic here? Probably, but Marvel brought it on themselves. By trying to explain how the shrinking process worked, they opened up a huge can of worms, inviting criticism and analysis. They should never have tried to explain the shrinking process at all, and just had Hank say, "I've never understood just how it works. Something to do with quantum physics."

• By the way, I am not a fan of the new Ant-Man that debuted in this film. His original costume (on the left above) had lots of interesting textures and a cool, retro look. This new one has a very Power Rangers look, and seems more like a cheap Halloween costume to me. Why the heck did they change it? To sell more toys? I hope he goes back to the original one in Ant-Man 2.

• This is some more hardcore nitpicking, but whatever. During the airport battle, Spider-Man has an plan to defeat Ant-Man, by taking him down like an AT-AT. He prefaces his idea by saying, "Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?"

OK, it was a fun line, but why the hell would he ever word it like that? I could understand it if he said, "Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Birth Of A Nation?" But this is a Star Wars movie he's talking about. Yeah, Empire's almost forty years old, but it's part of a cinematic phenomenon that's still going strong and releasing films. Everyone knows about Star Wars at this point. See, I told you it was hardcore.

• As I mentioned earlier, Zemo is a particularly underwhelming villain. In the comic he's the son of a Nazi, who fell into a vat of experimental adhesive that permanently glued his mask to his face (Comic Book Science!).

This is the Zemo from the film. Wow, scary. He looks for all the world like the world's dullest accountant, or a particularly uninterested insurance agent!

Zemo's master plan seems a bit murky too. His family was killed in Sokovia, and of course he blames the Avengers. Get in line, pal! To get revenge against them, he blows up a building and frames Bucky. I guess he's hoping that Iron Man will go after Bucky, and Cap will try to stop him. Lucky for him they did! Then Iron Man finds out that Bucky killed his parents, and goes ballistic. Cap tries to stop them, and this drives a wedge between the two friends. And that's Zemo's whole plan! No world domination, no blowing up the planet. Just getting two guys mad enough to kill one another.

The Sokovia Accords don't seem to have anything to do with Zemo, so I guess that was just a happy accident in his favor!

• Zemo shows Tony Stark surveillance footage of Bucky killing the Starks. What are the odds that their car just happened to crash in front of a security camera? Especially in 1991, when there weren't as many of them around?

According to the footage, the brainwashed Bucky ran the Starks car off the road and into a tree, injuring but not killing them. Howard Stark is thrown from the car, and Bucky pummels him in the face with his bionic arm, killing them. He then reaches into the car and snapped Maria's neck (did Zack Snyder direct this sequence?).

So... was there no forensic science in 1991? Surely the coroner had to have recognized that the Starks didn't receive their fatal injuries in the crash. What, did he look at the suspiciously hand-shaped bruising on Maria's neck and say, "Yep, she got these by hitting her head against the dashboard."

• Zemo flies off to a secret HYDRA base in Siberia, where five more HYDRA super soldiers are kept on ice. I was expecting an epic battle between the soldiers and Iron Man, Cap and Bucky. Unfortunately when they arrive in Siberia, they find Zemo's killed all the super soldiers while they slept in their cryochambers! Talk about disappointing! Even worse, they were all killed offscreen!

• During the battle in Siberia, Iron Man knocks Cap on his ass, and orders him to stay down. Cap struggles to his feet, wipes the blood from his mouth and says, "I can do this all day."

He said the exact same line twice (in similar situations!) in Captain America: The First Avenger. It's fast becoming his catchphrase.

• I very much liked the scene in which Black Panther sat with Zemo, prevented him from killing himself and said, "The living are not done with you yet."

This scene really demonstrated T'Challa's regal bearing, and showed an uncommon maturity as he saw what vengeance did to Zemo, came to his senses and abandoned his own quest for revenge. 

• After their battle, Iron Man says that Cap doesn't deserve his shield. Cap drops it to the ground and walks off.

Um… did Cap really just abandon his one-of-a-kind vibranium shield? Isn't that kind of his main weapon? What the heck's he going to do without it?

Maybe he'll have his pal Blank Panther whip up a new one for him, since Wakanda owns all the world's vibranium.

• So I guess there are now two teams of Avengers? A public one and a secret, off the books one? It certainly looks that way.

There really is a Secret Avengers in the comics, so that's what the movie's shooting for.

Captain America: Civil War is yet another successful film for Marvel Studios, who at this point have perfected the art of making crowd-pleasing superhero movies. I'm dropping the score down just a bit though, due to the lackluster villain and the ominous fact that the movie seems to be dipping its toe into the brackish DC grimdark pool. Keep your movies fun, Marvel! I give it a B+.

This Week In Desperate Marketing Campaigns

Marvel's next blockbuster movie Ant-Man hits theaters next month. Comic fans all know the shrinking superhero of course, but the general public has most likely never heard of him.

Marvel knows this, and realizes they're gambling on a relatively unknown property, just like they did last year with The Guardians Of The Galaxy. To that end, they've been waging an increasingly desperate marketing campaign in order to raise awareness and sell the character to the masses.

Nowhere is that more evident than in this new round of movie posters they just released. Who's film is this, anyway? The title says Ant-Man, but you can barely see him, as half the poster's real estate is taken up by Iron Man's head & shoulder. 

I'm also pretty sure Iron Man's not in the movie, so this poster constitutes fraud. False advertising, at the very least.

We get it already, guys. It's a Marvel movie. Ant-Man lives in the same world as Tony Stark and the Avengers. I'm sure we'll like him just as much.

There you go, Marvel. I fixed your poster for you.

And just in case you still don't get it, they also released a Captain America one (without Cap)...

And a Thor one, with Mjolnir instead of Thor.

Subtlety, thy name is Marvel!

It Came From The Cineplex: Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Avengers: Age Of Ultron was written and directed by Joss Whedon.

It is of course a sequel to 2012's The Avengers, but it's also a continuation of the events introduced in all of Marvel's Phase Two movies: Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians Of The Galaxy.

Several years ago Marvel Studios very carefully released a series of movies introducing several of their most popular characters. They then made history by taking these characters and teaming them up in The Avengers. It was an amazing feat, and something no studio had ever done before.

Unfortunately Age Of Ultron can't recreate the thrill of seeing those characters appear together onscreen for the first time. Instead it compensates by troweling on the action and making everything bigger.

There's an excess of just about everything in this film. The battles are bigger, the cast is bigger, they go to more locations, there're more story arcs— all with mixed results.

It's not a bad film, but by trying to juggle so many elements, it sometimes loses its way. Everything feels rushed as well— none of the story points get the time they deserve. Tony Stark decides to build "a suit of armor around the world" and BOOM! In less than five minutes Ultron is born, becomes sentient and begins his reign of terror.

The script also spends a bit too much time trying to set up future Marvel films. Thor for example seems much more concerned with the events of his upcoming third film than he does with this one. In fact he disappears halfway through, apparently going off on some side adventure we don't get to see before returning. 

With just a little more focus and room for the main storyline to breathe, the film could have been truly epic.

The first film was all about bringing the Avengers together, so of course this one does its best to tear them apart. By the end of the film Captain America and Black Widow are the only original members still on the team. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. Despite its air of change and finality, if the Disney bean counters decide they want the original team back together, it'll happen.

Once again Marvel Studios makes it look easy as they effortlessly expand their little shared cinematic universe. Meanwhile over at DC, their attempts to start up their own movie universe look like those old films of early flying contraptions trying to get off the ground.

At 141 minutes, this is the lengthiest Marvel movie to date, but it didn't seem overly long to me. In fact it breezed by. That's a good sign, when you don't notice a long movie's run time.

SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Plot:

In the European country of Sokovia (try finding that on a map, kids!), the Avengers infiltrate a secret HYDRA base led by Baron von Strucker. Strucker possesses Loki's scepter, and is using it to augment humans. He's managed to produce a set of super powered twins— Pietro Maximoff, who has super speed, and his sister Wanda, who can manipulate minds and project "magic" blasts. The Avengers overwhelm the HYDRA forces and capture the scepter.

Back at Avengers Tower, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner examine the gem that powers the scepter. Stark notes that the energy signature of the gem resembles that of a mind, and believes he can use it to complete his Ultron program— an initiative that will protect the entire world, eliminating the need for the Avengers. He uses the gem to jumpstart Ultron. Unknown to him, the program becomes sentient, seemingly destroys Stark's J.A.R.V.I.S. program and builds itself a body from discarded Iron Man armors. 

Ultron steals the scepter and flies to Sokovia, where he builds an army of robot drones. In Ultron's twisted mind, he plans to save the Earth by wiping out humanity. He recruits the Maximoff twins, promising them revenge against Tony Stark, who they hold responsible for their parents' deaths (don't ask).

Ultron and the Twins visit Ulysses Klaue in Johannesburg to obtain the rare metal vibranium, conveniently setting up the eventual Black Panther movie. The Avengers pursue Ultron, but Wanda uses her mental powers to incapacitate them, making them all have disturbing visions. Bruce Banner is particularly affected by these visions, transforming into the Hulk and trashing Johannesburg. Stark manages to subdue him with his Hulkbuster armor, generating a million action figure sales in the process.

The team flees to Hawkeye's secret farmhouse, where unknown to most of the team, he has a wife and kids. While there, Nick Fury (who everyone thought was dead) reappears, urging the Avengers to come up with a plan to stop Ultron.

Ultron then continues his world tour, stopping in South Korea and forcing Dr. Hellen Cho to construct an indestructible body for him out of vibranium. He opens Loki's scepter and takes the Infinity Stone from inside it and places it on the body's forehead. As Ultron begins uploading his mind into the ersatz body, Wanda gets a glimpse of his evil plan. The Maximoffs then turn on Ultron, just as the Avengers arrive. They take the vibranium body, but Black Widow is captured by Ultron. The Maximoff's change sides and join the Avengers.

While studying the vibranium body, Stark realizes J.A.R.V.I.S. wasn't destroyed after all but has been hiding out inside the internet. He downloads him into the new vibranium body, and Thor charges it with lightning. The synthetic body comes to "life," calling itself the Vision.

Ultron uses the rest of his vibranium to build a machine that will lift Sokovia into the upper atmosphere, so he can dash it to the ground like a meteor and cause global extinction. The Avengers arrive and battle Ultron and his robotic army. Nick Fury arrives in a mothballed S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier to rescue the Sokovian citizens. Pietro dies in a hail of gunfire while saving Hawkeye. Wanda, driven mad with rage, destroys Ultron's body. 

The city begins to fall, but Iron Man and Thor shatter it into millions of pieces, preventing global catastrophe. The Vision confronts Ultron's damaged body and destroys him.

Banner flies off to parts unknown, fearing the Hulk will endanger Black Widow. Thor returns to Asgard to investigate his visions. Stark returns to Avengers Tower. Hawkeye retires to his farm. At a new Avengers base somewhere in New York, Captain America and Black Widow train a new team of Avengers, consisting of War Machine, Falcon, Vision and Wanda, aka the Scarlet Witch.

Thoughts:

• There was an Age Of Ultron storyline in the comics, but it was quite different and has nothing to do with this film's plot. 

• Both Ultron's and the Vision's movie origins are very different from their comic book beginnings.

In the comics, Ultron was created by Hank Pym, aka Ant-Man (who'll be showing up in his own movie later this summer). Pym built the robotic Ultron and based its brain patterns on his own. Ultron gradually became self-aware and developed an irrational hatred for his "father," clashing many times with the Avengers. Ultron continually upgraded himself, eventually coating his body with adamantium, the fictional indestructible metal that, due to legal technicalities, the X-Men films can use but the Marvel Studios movies can't.

The Vision was built by Ultron as a weapon against Hank Pym and the Avengers. He built him from the deactivated body of the original Human Torch (not the Torch who's a member of the Fantastic 4, but the Golden Age version, who was an android that could burst into flame). Ultron repurposed this android, bringing it to "life" by using the brain patterns of Wonder Man (a member of the Avengers). The Vision eventually went against his programming and became a valuable member of the Avengers. Convoluted!

• This happens a lot these days, but there were a lot of scenes in the various trailers that aren't in the actual movie, all involving Ultron. A few that jumped out at me:

In one of the trailers we get a glimpse of Ultron's hand being coated in some sort of molten metal, presumably the nigh-indestructible vibranium. No such thing happens in the actual film.

Ultron explains his plan to the twins, saying, "I was made to save the world. People would look to the sky and hope. I’ll take that from them first." Again, not in the film.

Ultron says, "I'm going to show you something beautiful... people screaming for mercy!"

When Ultron first appears at the Avengers' after party, he limps into the room and says, "You want to protect the world, but you don't want to change. You're all... puppets... tangled in... strings! Strings!" This scene is in the finished film, but in a much altered form.

And finally at the end of the trailer, Ultron turns to the camera to give us a good look at his metal mug, ominously intoning, "There are... no strings... on me." Not in the movie!

There may be other missing scenes, but these are the ones that immediately came to mind. Joss Whedon has stated that the original version of the film was around three hours long, so maybe we'll see these scenes restored in an extended cut on home video.

• The attack on the HYDRA base featured another Avengers "money shot" that looked like it came straight out of a comic panel. Which I'm sure was the intent.

• After all the buildup Baron Strucker had in Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., I was expecting a bit more from him. He was in the film for five minutes or less before Ultron fragged him! What a waste of a character!

• It looks like Whedon decided to ignore most of the events of Iron Man 3 here. Given my less than favorable opinion of that cinematic opus, that can only be a good thing.

Iron Man 3 established that Tony Stark's armor can now be remotely controlled— in fact he's not even in his suit during that film's exciting plane rescue scene. This was a massive misfire in my opinion— if Tony's home on the couch while controlling an empty suit, there's no way to generate any tension or suspense for the character ever again.

The film also seemingly wrapped up Tony's storyline for good, as he hung up his superhero hat, removed the shrapnel from his chest and even destroyed his entire armory of Iron Man suits!

Apparently Whedon chose to pretend those things never happened (which is what I do), because Tony's back inside a new armor for the entire film. Good.

• At the after party, Sam Wilson tells Cap he didn't mind being left out of the action, as the "missing person" case he's working on is keeping him busy. No doubt the missing person in question is Bucky Barnes, aka The Winter Soldier.

• I really enjoyed the "Hammer Lifting" scene at the after party. It was sort of like an extended version of the Schwarma Party from the first movie, and gave us a much-needed glimpse into the characters' personalities. And Thor's face when Captain America moved the hammer slightly was priceless!

• As of this film, Mark Ruffalo has officially played the movie version of Bruce Banner longer than any other actor.

• Hawkeye got a raw deal in The Avengers, spending most of the film as the mind-controlled puppet of Loki. Age Of Ultron does its best to make up for his diminished part in the first film, giving him an expanded role and even a family of his own (!).

• Scarlett Johansson was pregnant during filming, a fact which was hidden by three very convincing stunt doubles and CGI to erase her "condition."

• Speaking of Black Widow, I'm not a fan of her seemingly out-of-nowhere romance with Bruce Banner. Yes, she's the one who originally recruited him for the team and they shared a moment or two in the first film, but their new relationship feels sort of... tacked on. As if they needed something for the characters to do between battles and thought, "Eh, how about we make 'em a couple?"

• There were a lot of cameos in this film: James Rhodes aka War Machine, Sam Wilson aka Falcon, Peggy Carter, Dr. Selvig, Heimdall, and Maria Hill all showed up. Sadly there was no Pepper Potts this time, and Jane Foster still hasn't showed up in an Avengers film.

I wonder how they get all these actors to willingly show up for these little cameos? Do they just throw money at them until they agree, or is working at Marvel so much fun that the actors are happy to do it?

• Marvel movies have always had a problem with their villains— they just never seem like that much of a threat (I'm lookin' at you, Ronan The Accuser). I was hoping Ultron would finally break that streak. 

So did he? Eh. I guess so. His plan was to wipe out all life on Earth, and he came close to doing so, but... he wasn't quite as evil as I was hoping. Maybe it's just me.

• I'm still not completely sold on Ultron's voice. When I read the comics as a kid, I "heard" Ultron speak with a harsh, metallic voice, not with James Spader's smug, honeyed tones. Would it have killed them to have filtered his voice a little to make it sound a bit more like a robot?

On the other hand, there is a precedent for such a thing. HAL 9000, the murderous computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey spoke with a calm, droning human-sounding voice as well.

• When Ultron first appears to the Twins, he's got a red cloth draped over his head. This may be a shoutout to The Crimson Cowl, a disguise Ultron used in an early comic appearance.

• Are you wondering why Ultron suddenly felt the need to pay a visit to Ulysses Klaue, which seemingly did little to advance the plot? Well, that was most likely setup for the upcoming Black Panther movie. Klaue, or Klaw, as he's known in the comics, is the Panther's arch enemy. He replaced his missing hand with some sort of sonic blaster weapon.

• Color me surprised to find out that Hawkeye has a home and family. And color me even more surprised that he wasn't killed off at some point. As soon as his family popped up, I thought, "Uh-oh, Hawkeye's a goner." I was reminded of The Walking Dead, where every time a character info dumps their back story, they're immediately killed off. Fortunately that wasn't the case here.

• Before the film came out I was wondering just how they'd depict Scarlet Witch's power. In the comics she has the ability to generate "hex bolts" that alter probability. If someone points a gun at her, she changes the odds that it'll misfire from a million to one down to one to one. This was usually accompanied by several paragraphs of her explaining how her power worked every single time she'd use it. 

In the film she controls minds and simply tosses destructive "magic" energy bombs, which I think works out much better visually.

• Despite the fact that Marvel Studios doesn't own the movie rights to the X-Men, due to a legal loophole they're allowed to use the character of Quicksilver in the Avengers films.

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch's storyline here mirrors the one in the comics. They started out as adversaries of the Avengers before changing sides and joining the team (which seemed to happen a lot in Avengers comics). Just be glad Joss Whedon didn't go with the Ultimates Universe version of the siblings, who have a disturbing incestuous relationship (!).

Of the two Quicksilvers, I'm gonna have to award the top prize to the X-Men: Days Of Future Past version. He was far more interesting than the bland speedster we saw here. That said, the Avengers version definitely looked better than the X-Men Quicksilver (who wore a silvery disco jacket with goggles).

Oddly enough the two Quicksilvers, Evan Peters and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, worked together before in Kick Ass.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen (Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch) also played husband and wife in last year's Godzilla remake. Apparently they're contractually obligated to appear in every film together from now on.

• Speaking of Quicksilver, I was definitely not expecting him to die. And once he did, I fully expected Scarlet Witch to use her magic to bring him back to life.

• The Hulk vs. Hulkbuster fight was awesome, but sadly not quite as awesome as I thought it would be. Maybe I let my pre-viewing imagination run away with me and was expecting too much.

I very much liked the inclusion of the hovering drone that contains the components of the Hulkbuster armor, and can supply it with spare parts as needed. Makes much more sense than the armor in Iron Man 3, which could somehow fly to any point on Earth (in seconds!) to get to Tony's location.

The Hulkbuster fight takes place in Johannesburg, South Africa. Jo-burg has been showing up a lot in sci-fi lately. Most recently in Chappie.

By the way, the Hulkbuster armor apparently needs a lot of power to function. There are three arc reactors in the front, and four on the back. Plus the one in the Iron Man suit inside it!

The Hulkbuster armor raises a few questions— namely why does it exist in the first place? 
Why does Tony Stark have a suit of armor that exists for the sole purpose of delivering a beat-down to the Hulk? Is it just a precautionary measure? Or did he design it to destroy the Hulk altogether? 

Did Bruce Banner know about the armor beforehand? If not, it seems like something that might drive a wedge between the two friends. "Sorry I made a suit of armor that could kill you bro, and then neglected to tell you about it."

UPDATE: After seeing the film a second time, it appears that Bruce is aware of the Hulkbuster armor after all. In fact he has a line about "helping design Veronica." I guess I missed that the first time around.

I wonder if Tony has a Thorbuster armor as well? That was a thing in the comics at one point. Does he have anti-armors for each Avenger?

• So far in every Marvel movie featuring Tony Stark, someone has always grabbed him by the throat. It happens again here, as Thor loses his cool and tries to wring Tony's neck. That makes five times someone's tried to choke him.

• All through the film we're shown that Ultron's consciousness can "inhabit" any of his drone army bodies. This makes him tough to kill— if you destroy his body and he just pops up in another. 

Later he forces Dr. Cho to build him a fancy new vibranium body (that eventually becomes the Vision). I don't get the point of this. His current multi-body system is pretty unbeatable— so why risk that by inhabiting a single form (even if it is made from vibranium)? 

• So the Vision can lift & toss Thor's hammer because he's a machine and not a person, and the whole "worthy/not worthy" thing doesn't apply to him. Whew! Good thing Ultron didn't get that particular memo, or things could have gone quite differently for our team!

• The Vision has the yellow Mind Gem in the middle of his forehead, which he uses to project an energy beam against Ultron. The Vision had a yellow forehead stone that fired a beam in the comics, but it wasn't one of the Infinity Gems.

Also in the comics, the Vision's main power was his ability to alter his density. He could become intangible, allowing him to walk through walls, or super dense, making him impervious to injury.

I didn't see him display this particular power in the film, but others say they saw him stick his hand inside several of Ultron's various drones to destroy them. There was so much going on in those battle scenes that I can't say one way or another. A good excuse to see the film again!

• Tony says the Avengers have had a long and tiring day, "Like Eugene O'Neill long." Wondering what the hell that meant? He's referring to O'Neill's play Long Day's Journey Into Night.

• After J.A.R.V.I.S is dismantled, Tony Stark needs a new virtual assistant. He sorts through what appears to be a pile of advanced thumb drives and grabs one labeled "F.R.I.D.A.Y." This new interface has a female voice with a slight Irish accent. I'm assuming this was a nod to "Girl Friday," which generally means "an indispensable assistant?"

Also, one of the drives in the pile is labeled "Jocasta." In the comics, Ultron created a robot called Jocasta as his bride (!).

• Wondering how Nick Fury managed to get ahold of the salvaged S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier he used to rescue the Sokovian citizens? Me too. Supposedly all the helicarriers were destroyed by HYDRA in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. So where'd this one come from?

Well, if you're a regular viewer of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. you know— Agent Coulson, the current Director of the resurrected S.H.I.E.L.D., has been restoring the helicarrier in a secret underground base for months.

I have mixed feelings about this revelation. On the one hand, the interconnectivity of the movies and the TV series reminds me of the comics, and the fun I used to have seeing heroes pop up in one another's books. 

On the other hand, I shouldn't have to watch a TV show to find out what the hell's going on in a movie I paid good money to see.

• I get the feeling that Age Of Ultron is giving a big middle finger to DC's execrable Man Of Steel. In that film, Hopeman, er, I mean Superman and Zod fought over Metropolis, completely and utterly destroying the city. 

Their battle looked like a thousand 9/11s as millions of innocents were killed. Then when it's over, instead of looking for survivors, Superman actually takes the time to kiss Lois in full view of the few pitiful souls digging themselves from the rubble. It would have been far better for all concerned if Superman never came to Earth at all.

In this film the Avengers bend over backwards to save every last Sokovian citizen, even sacrificing one of their own to save a child.

Surely all this wasn't just an accident. It almost feels like Marvel's taunting DC's puny efforts at making a decent superhero film.

• Hawkeye gives Wanda a pep talk about doing the right thing or fighting the good fight or something. He says he's just a guy with a bow and arrow fighting a bunch of murder-bots.

That's probably not something that Whedon should be pointing out about a character who is arguably the weakest member of the team.

• I guess it's supposed to be ironic that Quicksilver, the fastest member of the team, dies from something as relatively slow as a gunshot.

• At the end of the film we see a new Avengers base in upstate New York. Wouldn't that have been a great opportunity for Agent Coulson (and other Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. cast members) to pop up? Jesus, as far as I know the Avengers still don't know he's alive. Is he ever going to tell them?

Supposedly Joss Whedon wasn't happy that Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. resurrected Coulson after he killed off the character, and is choosing to ignore that development.

• As the film ends, we see Captain America and Black Widow training new members War Machine, Falcon and Scarlet Witch. Glad to see Falcon appears to have an actual costume this time, replacing his old t-shirt and camo pants from Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

In the final scene, Cap comes this close to saying "Avengers Assemble!" the rally cry used ad infinitum in the comics. Unfortunately the credits cut him off before he can finish. I guess they're saving the actual utterance of the line for the third film.

• And finally, since this is a Marvel movie, there's a mid-credits sequence. This time we see Thanos getting fed up with his minions' incompetence and deciding to retrieve the Infinity Gems himself, setting up the eventual Infinity War storyline.

So far we've seen four of the six Infinity Gems. They are:

The Tesseract  from Captain America: The First Avenger and The Avengers, which contained the blue Space Gem. 

Loki's scepter from The Avengers, which contained the yellow Mind Gem (which now resides in the Vision's forehead).

The Aether from Thor: The Dark World was another form of the red Reality Gem.

The Orb from Guardians Of The Galaxy, which contained the purple Power Gem.

That leaves the Soul and Time Gems left to find. Once Thanos possesses all six Infinity Gems, and we all know he eventually will, he'll pretty much be God.

Avengers: Age Of Ultron is a worthy followup that comes close, but doesn't quite surpass the original film. With a little more focus it could have been truly awe-inspiring. I give it a B+.