What Are Americans Outraged About This Week: Swastika Shirts

Over the past decade or so, our country's become filled with an entire generation of easily-triggered SJWs who routinely troll the internet, just looking for something to offend them. They're seemingly not happy unless they're outraged about some trivial matter.

It truly is a dark time.

So let's see What Americans Are Outraged About This Week, shall we?

This week, customers were appalled by an Airwalk brand shirt that showed up in a Ross Dress For Less store in Florida. The shirt, priced at a very reasonable $12.99, featured what appeared to be a pattern of tiny white dots.

Except they're not dots. According to the easily triggered and overwrought Ross patrons, the shirt was actually covered with swastikas!

Sigh... Here we go again. Yet another professionally offended American expressing mock outrage over nothing. OK, fine. Let's get this over with and take a closer look at this so called "Swastika Sh— 

Holy Crap, those are swastikas! Jesus Christ!

Once again, I have to ask how something like this happens. I work in a marketing department, and whenever I make even the smallest of ads, it has to be approved by at least twelve to fifteen people before it goes out.

I would assume the same holds true for shirt manufacturers as well. Are you telling me no one noticed this shirt was filled to the brim with freaking swastikas?

A spokesman for the Airwalk company said that the "swastikas" were supposed to be tiny versions of the company's "Ollie Man" logo, seen here. Apparently at some point in the production process, the cartoonish running man came out looking more like the symbol for the Nazi Party.

Yeah, nice try, Airwalk. Nobody's buying that load of fish oil.

One possible explanation for the goof up: the shirts were supposedly manufactured in India, where the icon is seen as a symbol of peace, not of hate. I can almost buy that, as the symbol existed for hundreds, possibly even thousands of years before the Nazis glommed onto it.

That still doesn't explain how something like this fell through the cracks and made it all the way to the sales floor though.

This kind of thing seems to pop up at least once a year or so. A while back Walgreens found themselves in hot water for selling blue Hanukkah (!) wrapping paper festooned with accidental Nazi symbols! Yikes!

Shortly after that, Spanish retailer Zara sold a children's shirt that looked remarkably like those worn by prisoners in Nazi concentration camps in WWII— right down to the Star Of David-like design on the left breast!

What Are Americans Outraged About This Week? Reese's Xmas Tree Candy

Welcome to What Are People Outraged About This Week? Where every now and then I'll take a look at various so-called atrocities that are vexing the Offended States Of America, and causing the general public to overreact.

So what are people outraged about this week?

This week people seem to be outraged by Reese's Peanut Butter Christmas Trees. Ever since 1993 Reese's has made a special holiday edition of their peanut butter cups that resembles a Christmas tree.

But this year the easily-offended public is charging that the candies look less like traditional fir trees and more like "turds."

Sigh. Here we go again. Yet another professionally offended American expressing mock outrage over nothing. OK, fine. Let's have a look at this so-called "turd" can-

Holy crap! Yep, that's a turd.

OK, so this time the public has a point. These candies don't look the least bit like Christmas trees. But you know what? I think that's actually a good thing.

Look at what would happen if you started shaving off hunks of the candy turd to make it resemble a tree. Sure, now it looks more like a traditional symbol of Christmas, but take a gander at all that delicious chocolate and peanut butter you're being denied.

Do you really want 33% less mass just so your candy looks like a stinkin' tree? I know I don't! The more chocolate and peanut butter the better! Bring on the Candied Christmas Turds!

What Are Americans Outraged About This Week: Trophy T-Shirts

These days Americans love nothing more than feeling outraged. In fact it's replaced baseball as the national pastime. Practically every day the news is filled with various so-called atrocities that are vexing the general public and causing them to overreact.

So what are Americans outraged about this week?

Why, Target's new Women's "Trophy" t-shirt, of course.

The short sleeved, dark gray shirt features the word "Trophy" across the chest, and the phrase "Trophy Wife" is part of the actual product description. The shirt retails for $12.99.

Naturally this plain, simple garment has caused a storm of controversy on social media sites, as many shoppers are shocked and outraged that Target would carry such an item. A few were actually able to rise from their fainting couches long enough to compose themselves and label the shirt "demeaning," and demand it be pulled from stores.

One woman was so apoplectic over the shirt that she created a petition on Change.org, calling for Target to immediately cease selling it. As of this posting, the petition has nearly 15,000 supporters.

Target spokesmen responded to the controversy by stating, "These shirts are intended as a fun wink and we have received an overwhelmingly positive response from our guests."

Despite this, Target went on to say that it's "never their intention to offend anyone," and have decided to immediately pull the shirts from all stores nationwide. They then announced a new replacement for the offending garment, seen here.

What Are Americans Outraged About This Week: Minions

These days Americans love nothing more than feeling outraged. In fact it's replaced baseball as the national pastime. Practically every day the news is filled with various so-called atrocities that are vexing the general public and causing them to overreact.

So what are Americans outraged about this week?

A Minion toy from a McDonald's Happy Meal has parents' collective panties all in a bunch. The talking toy is based on those goddamned yellow things from the Despicable Me movies, now starring in their very own film. One particular Minion, dressed ostensibly as a caveman, has Americans blushing with its alleged potty mouth.

When a button on the bottom of the toy is pressed, it utters several muffled, hard to understand phrases, including "I'll be damned," and "What the f*ck?"

Sharp-eared parent Paul Butts first brought the foul-mouthed Minion to the attention of the media. "Originally we didn't think anything of it, until my wife was moving it out of the car seat and heard something that didn't sound quite right," said Butts. "She staggered into the house, with the back of her hand pressed firmly against her forehead, her skin white as paper. When I asked her whatever was the matter, she began waving her arms in front of her, as if blind. She then passed out, gracefully draping herself across her gilded fainting couch."

"I saw she had a Minion toy clutched firmly in her hand," reported Butts. "When I took it from her, it uttered an epithet that nearly made me swoon as well."

We hear at Bob Canada's BlogWorld were of course skeptical. We managed to get a hold of one of the Caveman Minion toys to see for ourselves if there was anything to the cursing claims. Upon examination, we found the toy uttered nine different phrases:

“Thou art as loathsome as a toad.”

 “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”

“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

“There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.”

“Thou art unfit for any place but hell.” 

“Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.” 

“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!” 

“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

“Thou art as fat as butter.”

Insulting, for sure, strangely erudite, definitely, but hardly worth all the outrage.

A spokesman for McDonald's denies the accusations, saying it's all a coincidence. "We’re aware of a very small number of customers who have been in touch regarding this toy, and we regret any confusion or offense to those who may have misinterpreted its sounds. The allegation that this toy is saying anything offensive or profane is not true. Our goal at McDonald’s is to serve up food and fun for our valued customers, whether they be a stuffed cloak-bag of guts, or a swollen parcel of dropsies. We’re glad to have the Minions on board."

What Are Americans Outraged About This Week: Swastika Wrapping Paper

Welcome to a brand new feature here on Bob Canada's BlogWorld called What Are People Outraged About This Week? Each week we'll take a look at various so-called atrocities that are vexing the general public and causing them to overreact.

So what are people outraged about this week?

On December 4th, Northridge, California resident Cheryl Shapiro was shopping for Hanukkah wrapping paper at her local Walgreens. She spied a roll of silver and blue decorative paper, when something caught her eye. Shapiro claims there's a swastika prominently featured in the design of the wrapping paper.

"It blew me away," Shapiro told ABC News. "What the hell was that doing on there? I want it out of the store, but I wanted this to go national. I want this out of the stores nationally."

Sigh. Here we go again. Yet another professionally offended American expressing mock outrage over nothing. OK, fine. Let's have a look at this so-called "outrageous" wrappi-

Holy crap! Yep, those are swastikas.

OK, for once somebody has a point. I think Mrs. Shapiro's outrage is justified in this case.

In Walgreen's slight defense, if you step back from the wrapping paper the symbols aren't quite as evident. You've really got to be looking for them to find them in the pattern, and I'm betting it was an accident. As a graphic designer I know that sometimes stuff happens, especially when you're facing a tight deadline.

On the other hand, when you're dealing with swastikas and the Holocaust, it's better to err on the side of caution.

Walgreen's has agreed to pull the offending wrapping paper, along with several other items that have generated complaints, such as their Teenage Mutant Ninja Savior Nativity Set and the Charles Manson's Now That's What I Call Christmas, Man Vol. 3 CD.