Stooge Update

 

Well, here it is: the official first trailer for the Farrelly Brothers' upcoming Three Stooges movie.

As a lifelong Stooges fan, I've been watching the development of this project for quite some time with a mixture of both fascination and horror. I was sure they were going to try and update the Stooges for modern audiences and insert tons of fart, sex and drug jokes into the movie. After seeing the trailer my fears have been somewhat allayed.

I still don't think the world needs a remake of the Three Stooges, but this trailer isn't the worst thing I've ever seen. 

They've certainly got the look and feel of the Stooges down pat. Chris Diamantopoulos is positively eerie as Moe. The voice, the mannerisms, even his facial expressions– it's all absolutely perfect. It's like Moe Howard time-traveled to 2011. Sean Hayes does a pretty darn good Larry as well, which is quite a feat. Lots of people can imitate Moe and Curly, but getting Larry's raspy slur down is a lot tougher. And Will Sasso seems like he was born to play Curly.

That said, I'm still not totally sold on the remake. The trailer made me chuckle a couple of times, but the parts I laughed at were things the original Stooges always did. Eye pokes and hits to the head, that sort of thing. It's not enough to just recreate the Stooges, they need to bring something new to the table. Otherwise, what's the point of a remake?

Then there are the Jersey Shore cameos. They absolutely MUST go. Oh, I get why they're in there. The studio thinks the kids of today won't be interested in a remake of some old comedy team, so they're shoehorning Snooki and the rest of her detestable castmates into the proceedings to draw them in. In reality all this will do is ensure that the film is dated before it even comes out. Five years from now you'll be able to look at this movie and pinpoint the exact day and date that it premiered. 

If the studio is smart they'll release the DVD with a special option that will skip over the Shore cast cameos.

Anyway, I feel a little bit better about the movie after seeing the trailer. I'm upgrading my rating from Outright Disaster to Mild Debacle.

New Who!

Fans of classic Doctor Who got an early Xmas gift this year: two more long-lost episodes have resurfaced!

As I've mentioned before, during the 1960s and 1970s the BBC destroyed or erased dozens of master tapes of the series that were stored in the studio's warehouse. They did so to clear storage space for new material and also because certain contracts stipulated that episodes could only be aired a certain number of times. It seems incredible to us now of course, but there was just no perceived value in the tapes.

As a result of this purge, 253 episodes from the first six years of the show were erased. Amazingly, 148 of them have been recovered over the years, as every now and then someone finds a copy of an episode in some musty vault somewhere in the world.

That's exactly what happened this past week, as two episodes resurfaced over 40 years after they first aired.

The two episodes were recorded by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation in the 1960s and were then acquired by a private collector. They sat in his collection for years until he heard from a friend that Who fans were on the lookout for old episodes.

As for the two episodes, one is from First Doctor William Hartnell's era and the other is from Second Doctor Patrick Troughton's.

The first recovered episode is Part 3 of Hartnell's story Galaxy 4 (most classic Doctor Who stories consisted of 4 to 6 parts) and first aired in 1965. If you're hoping to see the entire Galaxy 4 story, well, prepare to be disappointed. The newly discovered Part 3 is the only part of the story known to exist.

The second recovered episode is Part 2 of Troughton's story Underwater Menace. Sadly, this story isn't complete either, as we only have Parts 2 and 3. This recently discovered episode is the earliest known from the Troughton era and features the first time the Second Doctor played his recorder onscreen.

Even though the stories aren't complete, it's better than nothing at all. There are now 106 missing episodes. Hopefully one of these days someone will stumble into an old vault somewhere and find all the missing tapes.

Space Dweebs Little Moldin' Book Step By Step

Now that my 2011 Xmas Card/Book is finally finished I thought I'd post a step by step look at how I work, for the two or three people out there who may be interested. 

I usually start out each page with a rough sketch. And I do mean rough. Look at that thing! It would be tough to prove I'm an artist if that's all I had to go by.

I drew the sketch in ink and then scanned it into Photoshop. I used Photoshop for the entire book, by the way.

Last year I drew very elaborate sketches and had everything planned out to the letter. This year I just sort of winged it. I did very few sketches on paper, doing most of them right on the screen in Photoshop. Most of them were stick figure chicken scratches that were sketches in the academic sense only.

Once the sketch was in place I added the text. This year's book is much wordier than last year's. I think because I had a more detailed story to tell.

The text changed practically on a daily basis too, as I condensed and reworded sentences for clarity.

Next it was time to start on the background. It might seem odd to draw the background first, but it helps me by giving me an environment into which to place my characters.

The wall and floor were each on a separate layer. I use a lot of layers when I work in Photoshop. It's a little extra work setting things up that way, but it pays off when you decide you want to change something. It's much easier to make changes when an object is isolated on its own layer.

Next I added a piece of molding between the wall and floor.

Next I added a curvy line to the floor. Why curvy? Because a curvy line is alien and futuristic.

The curvy line and molding were on separate layers, natch. 

I struggled for a while trying to come up with something to put on the wall of the Rec Room. At first I was going to add the standard futuristic flashing light panels but that seemed too cliched. Then I thought about viewports showing the vastness of the universe outside, but was afraid that would be too busy.

At the last minute I decided to steal, er, create an homage to the classic TARDIS interior from Doctor Who. I added several rows of round recessed panels (called "roundels") to a layer and then distorted them so they'd be in the proper perspective.

I thought the background needed a bit of color so I made a new layer and added yellow to the roundels.

There's lots more steps to see after the jump!

Boldly Going Or Going Boldly?

This week NASA released a series of photos of a mysterious object orbiting near the planet Mercury.

NASA scientists claim it's just a solar flare from the nearby sun washing over the planet.

Here's a closeup of the mystery object.

Let me enhance the image for you a bit. I think it's pretty obvious what it is. They're coming back to our time for some more whales.

The Space Dweebs Vs. Space Santa Little Moldin' Book: Behind The Scenes

Now that my 2011 Space Dweebs Christmas Card/Book is finally finished, I thought I'd post a behind the scenes look at how I made it for anyone who may be interested in long-winded explanations of mildly interesting topics.

This was one of the few actual physical sketches I did for this year's book. Most of the sketches were done digitally, right on the screen. I didn't spend a lot of time on the sketches, as you can see– I just roughed out the bare minimum to get sizes and proportions down.

Obviously the cover here is based largely on Page 11. At first I thought I could just reuse the entire page, but the Page 11 Dweebs are looking sheepish and abashed, which wouldn't work. I redrew the Dweebs so they look more confident and arrogant, as if they're challenging Space Santa.

I was going to reuse the Page 11 Space Santa unchanged, but then I decided I didn't want his big reveal to be on the cover. So I reworked him to make him look more shadowy and mysterious. Yes, I really do put that much thought into these things. I started out thinking I was going to get away with reusing 100% of Page 11 for the cover, but ended up using about 1%. Typical.

As for the logo, I drew it in InDesign. It's based on the Burbank font, which is my current favorite. I typed out the title, then traced over the letters with InDesign's pen tool. I distorted the letters quite a bit, because I wanted it to look somewhat customized and not use an off-the-shelf font.

I went through a few titles before settling on this one. For a while it was going to be called The Space Dweebs vs. Space Xmas, but that didn't make any sense. They were butting heads with Space Santa, not the holiday.

Here's the title page. You can probably tell that's a digital sketch I did on the left.

And yes, Churd is really scratching his butt right there on the title page. The Dweebs don't have very good manners.

When I first drew the Dweebs last year I didn't think about names, which is something I had to address for the card. I wanted them to all have nerdy sounding names. I came up with the name Merkin first. Merkin is a real word; I was under the impression that it meant a chest hair wig worn by men who needed help in that area. That seemed suitably nerdy. Later on I found out that I was mistaken– it's really a pubic hair wig first worn by prostitutes in medieval times. Yikes! That knowledge kind of put me off of using the name in an Xmas card/book. I tried using "Mervin" for a while, but it just didn't have the same ring to it, so I thought what the heck and went back to Merkin. Probably 1% or less of the population knows the meaning of the name, and for those who are offended by it, I invite you to lighten up.

As for Churd, I wanted a name with a "ch" sound, since he has a chunky physique.

"Glaven" is one of those nonsense words that the early Jerry Lewis used to bleat out in his movies.

This is the establishing shot of the Dweeb's satellite clubhouse and the first page I worked on. Maybe I started with this one because it didn't contain any characters. I bet I redrew that stinkin' planet in the lower right corner about ten times. I just couldn't get it to look like the image in my head.

Originally the writing on the Satellite read "SD-1" (for Space Dweebs 1, natch). Later I decided it would be cool to use some kind of alien alphabet, so I changed it. It doesn't say anything, they're just random shapes. I didn't make up my own alien alphabet like Futurama did.

So how do the Dweebs afford a satellite in space? They just do. It's a kid's book.

Here's one of the earlier sketches I did of the clubhouse. Originally they were going to have a dish on the bottom, but I dropped that in the final drawing.

The rocket is sticking out of the top because in the first draft of the story, the Dweebs flew their rocket to Space Santa's Comet Fortress and stole HIS Giant Giftbot and went on a giving spree.

What's the deal with all the planet & city names, you're asking? Well, they're all Yiddish words. Cause Yiddish words sound funny, dontcha know. A Schmendrick means a fool or a jerk, Meshugah means crazy or insane, and Schlamazel means born loser.

Hey, don't go anywhere! There's lots more to see after the jump!

R.I.P. Colonel Potter

Dang. Actor Harry Morgan, who among many other things played Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H, died today. He was one of my favorite actors and I always enjoyed watching him in everything he did.

Morgan was 96, so that was a pretty good run. You can't ask for much more than that.

He even had his own action figure!

Christmas Card 2011: The Space Dweebs Vs. Space Santa!

At long last, my 2011 Christmas card slash book is finished! Like every year, it was touch and go there for a while and I wasn't sure whether it would be done in time for Christmas.

As always, I started thinking about this year's Xmas card as soon as I was done with last year's. And as always, I waited until November to do anything about it.

It wasn't that I procrastinated all year, honest. I decided early in January that I wanted this year's card to star the Space Dweebs, a trio of characters I'd drawn back in 2010. Unfortunately I couldn't think of a story for the card. I had a couple of vague ideas but nothing concrete.

Around August I started trying to hash out the story in earnest. I decided the Dweebs' planet would have a Space Xmas, complete with a Space Santa. I knew I wanted Space Santa to be a horrible, scary a-hole and I wanted the Dweebs to try and show him up somehow, probably with a giant robot. I was still banging my head against the wall though. Why couldn't this story write itself like last year's SantaTaur card did?

In October I decided to finish the story once and for all or die trying. That's when I finally got the idea that Space Santa only gives practical gifts like socks, and the Dweebs find out that Earth people get fun gifts. So they build a Giant Giftbot and start handing out cool gifts. Things go OK for a while, but then the Giftbot malfunctions and starts tearing up the city. Space Santa blows it up to save the world, and then scolds the Dweebs for trying to outdo him.

Unfortunately there were at least 20 pages of story and I only had 12 to work with. 11 if you subtract the title page. Something had to go. The first thing to get cut was the "haywire Giftbot destroys the city" plot. It took up way too many pages, plus it made the Dweebs look like idiots. They're supposed to be geniuses, so having them invent a faulty machine undermined that. Making Space Santa blow up their robot to stop them from handing out gifts allowed them to still be geniuses and helped make him look like the scary jerk he is.

I also got rid of the idea that Space Santa gives out socks as gifts. Now he gives out nothing but free and unwanted advice. Plus he knows he's supposed to be giving out gifts, but doesn't do it because it's too expensive and too much trouble. That reinforced his general unlikeability.

At last I was ready to draw the thing, but there was one more snag– all the job drama. Finding out I was going to lose my job at the end of the year kind of took the wind out of my sails and killed my enthusiasm for the project. Suddenly I had way more important things to think about than drawing an Xmas card. I decided in late October that I didn't feel like doing a card this year.

Then an odd thing happened. I sat down at the computer one night in early November and started doodling around in Photoshop. Before I knew it I'd drawn a page of the card. Sounds stupid I know, but it's like it drew itself. I thought, "Big deal, so I drew one page. There's no way I'm going to do ten more." Then the next night the same thing happened– I sat down with no intention of working on the card, but somehow ended up drawing a second page. By then I decided I might as well go for it. I guess this card wanted made whether I wanted to do it or not.

So there you have this year's Xmas card. Will there be a 2012 card? Probably not, unless I can think of a really awesome idea. Plus there's that whole Mayan calendar end of the world thing happening next December, so what's the point?

Hey, Dune

I found this in a used bookstore a couple of weeks ago-- it's a storybook adaptation of the 1984 Dune movie. For kids.

Even after all these years I'm still amazed at the lengths Universal Studios went to in a flailing attempt to market this movie to children. The movie premiered one year after Return Of The Jedi and the Star Wars marketing juggernaut was still going strong. I assume Universal wanted to get in on some of that sweet merchandising action as well.

Unfortunately the only big budget sci-fi property they had at the time was Dune. So against all reason, common sense and better judgment they did their damnedest to sell a very adult story to children.

There's very little in the Dune novel that would appeal to a child, and even less in David Lynch's weird for weird's sake movie adaptation. There's the sandworms I guess, and... well, that's about it. I can't imagine any child under 14 getting much out of it. For comparison, it would be like DC Comics made a Watchmen storybook for kids. It's a dark and complicated tale about ecology wrapped up in political drama. It's full of assassination, intrigue and Machiavellian plots. Just the type of story kids like to see at the movies!

Some of the other highlights of Dune merchandise:

I can still remember walking into a (sadly now defunct) Hills department store a few months before the movie came out and seeing Dune action figures on the shelf. I was familiar with the book and I couldn't believe someone was actually making toys. Take a good look at the top of the action figure package: it actually says "Ages 4 and up." Yes, what 4 year old wouldn't love playing with a figure of Stilgar, the Fremen who wears a suit that recycles his urine for drinking purposes, and rides on top of a giant phallic sand worm?

There was also a Dune coloring book, full of bizarre images from the movie, including several pages of murdered bodies for kids to color(!). There were several activity books as well, featuring connect-the-dots pages and even recipes!

At least the activity book spared us from this image of Sting and his winged speedo on the cover:

Disney's Marketing Department Confuses Me

Next year Disney Studios is releasing a big-budget movie based on the Edgar Rice Burroughs book A Princess of Mars. The book is the first in the John Carter of Mars series, all about the titular hero and his adventures on the red planet.

Disney, in their infinite wisdom, has decided to rename the movie and call it simply John Carter. Whuuuh?

OK, I can understand why they didn't want to call the movie by it's literary title of A Princess of Mars. John Carter is the main character after all, so the Princess title would be a bit misleading. It also implies you're going to see some kind of Sailor Moon girly movie, which would keep young males away in droves. Calling it John Carter: A Princess of Mars wouldn't be a very good idea either.

So I get why the title had to change. But why then didn't they simply call the movie John Carter OF MARS? Burrough's wrote eleven books in the series, the last of which contains that title. It's unlikely they're ever going to adapt all eleven books, so why not go ahead and use that title?

It's a sci-fi movie after all. I can only speak for myself, but as a science fiction fan I would be much more likely to go see a movie titled John Carter of Mars than the ridiculously bland John Carter. Adding "Of Mars" would at least give me an inkling that it might have some sci-fi element to it. Calling it John Carter tells me absolutely nothing about the movie I'm going to see. Is it a new Tom Hanks drama? A historical epic starring Mel Gibson? A movie about a reformed mobster? Who knows? It's like instead of Star Wars, George Lucas titled his movie Luke Skywalker.

Plus ever time I see the title John Carter I think of this:

Update: Apparently I'm not the only one who's vexed by this title. John Carter director Andrew Stanton recently gave an interview to try and explain himself. According to him:

"Here's the real truth of it. I'd already changed it from A Princess Of Mars to John Carter Of Mars. I don't like to get fixated on it, but I changed Princess Of Mars ... because not a single boy would go."

"And then the other truth is, no girl would go to see John Carter Of Mars. So I said, 'I don't won't to do anything out of fear, I hate doing things out of fear, but I can't ignore that truth.'"

"All the time we were making this big character story which just so happens to be in this big, spectacular new environment. But it's not about the spectacle, it's about the investment. I thought, I've really worked hard to make all of this an origin story. It's about a guy becoming John Carter. So I'm not misrepresenting what this movie is, it's John Carter.

"Mars is going to stick on any other film in the series. But by then, it won't have a stigma to it."

Let me tell you, that is some might pretty Markletspeak© right there.

Blast From The Past

I was looking at a yearbook website today and found my senior class photo online. Wow, look at that collar. There's enough material there to make another shirt!

My Annual Xmas Gift Tag Repost

I posted this the past two years and I will continue to post it until the economy picks up. Sadly, I have a bad feeling we're going to see this post many more times before it's all over.

Tough times call for tough measures! Due to the still-stagnant economy (and the fact that I'll be unemployed at the end of the month), I decided to severely cut back on Christmas gifts this year. In order to soften the blow a bit, I made this gift tag and attached it to the few presents I bought.

Santa was drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet, as well as the sketchy green oval. Everything was then imported into InDesign, where the text and the outer tag shape were added. Then I printed a bunch, cut them out with an X-Acto, punched a hole in the side and tied them to everyone's gifts.

Feel free to download it, print it and attach it to your own cheapskate gifts!

Xmas Double Feature

Last weekend I watched the movie Black Christmas (the original 1974 version) for the first time. It's possibly the world's first Christmas themed horror movie and is considered by many to be the very first slasher film, preceding John Carpenter's Halloween by a good four years.

Black Christmas invented most of the slasher movie genre's trappings; a faceless homicidal killer, an ever growing body count and of course a house full of nubile young female victims. Best of all it stars the incredibly hot Olivia Hussy (on the right above). Rowwrrr!

But what's most interesting about the movie is that it was directed by none other than Bob Clark. The same Bob Clark who also directed A Christmas Story. Yep, the man who gave us the tale of Ralphie and his Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time, also directed the world's first Christmas slasher movie.

I've decided this will become a new annual holiday tradition in my home– watching a double feature of Black Christmas and A Christmas Story, back to back. To me, nothing says Xmas like the heartwarming tale of a maniac killing sorority girls, along with the story of a child's simple holiday wish– for a gun. If you have any taste, you'll adopt this tradition as well.

Now, about Bob Clark. No Hollywood director ever had as uneven a career as Mr. Clark. He directed the two highly regarded and beloved classic Christmas movies mentioned above.

Then there was the rest of his career. 

Here's just a few of the other classics of cinema directed by Bob Clark:

Yikes! Dear Lord, make it stop!

Sadly, Mr. Clark died in 2007, before he could bless the cinematic world with Baby Geniuses 3: Even Geniuser. But at least we have his two classic Christmas movies to watch back to back!

The Walking Dead Season 2, Episode 7: Pretty Much Dead Already

Well, it's the mid-season finale, and the last show until next February. I hate when shows split their seasons in half like this with MONTHS in between. Hate it! Do you hear me, Hollywood? I hate it!

I was expecting a little more action or excitement in this episode, but any disappointment I may have had with the pacing was more than compensated for by that ending.

Spoilers! 

• Herschel talks Rick into helping him "rescue" two walkers trapped in the swamp. Could this swamp be an explanation as to why the farm is relatively zombie free? Is the farm surrounded by swampland that acts as zombie flypaper? If so, kudos to the writers for recognizing the problem and coming up with a solution.

• Daryl definitely needs to work on his terms of endearment. Calling someone who clearly likes you "stupid bitch" is generally frowned upon in polite society.

• Carol definitely has some issues with the men she chooses. First she was with Ed, who was a physically abusive alcoholic. Now she's making eyes at Daryl, who, though he has become my favorite character, isn't exactly prime husband material. I guess maybe in this world her choices are slim.

Although if Daryl and Carol do become an item, it'll be easy to come up with a "celebrity couple" name for them, like "Bennifer" or "Brangelina." Just call them "Darol."

• Lori managed to not annoy me this week, which is a pretty good feat. A few weeks ago she said her baby absolutely was Rick's. This week she's not so sure. Now neither am I.

• So Lori is home schooling Carl. A nice touch, and something you'd definitely need to think about in that situation. By the way, Chandler Riggs, who plays Carl, is a way better actor than any 12 year old has a right to be.

• Shane says Rick's insistence on going back to Atlanta for Merle (last season) caused the deaths of Amy and Jim. Um... how's that? Weren't they all sitting around a campfire eating fish instead of posting sentries when the zombies attacked the camp? How was Rick responsible for that? I guess I need to re-watch Season 1.

• Dale is a major character in the comic, so I didn't think the show would kill him off just yet, but when he was confronting Shane in the swamp I wasn't so sure. For a minute there I was afraid this would be his last show.

• In the comic, Herschel paid a bigger price for his beliefs. When the zombies got out of the barn, several of his people were killed, which jolted him into the realization that he was wrong about the walkers and they're not just "sick people." Not so on in this episode. Maybe that's to come in February?

• One of the barn zombies that Daryl shot was Herschel's wife. You can tell by the reaction shot of Herschel immediately after she was shot.

• OK, about that ending. Wow. I've been whining for two months now about the boat anchor that is the Search For Sophia sublot. It just went on and on and on with no end in sight. It stopped the storyline dead in its tracks and seemed to be going absolutely nowhere.

But I take it all back. Oh, all that is still true of course, but they redeemed themselves with that ending. I did NOT see that one coming. It took forever to get there, but the payoff was totally worth it. Seeing Zombie Sophia stagger out of the barn was heartbreaking and horrifying at the same time. It was a gutsy move and I'm glad they did it. I'm still thinking about it, and I know I'll be haunted by Zombie Sophia for days to come.

• Now, about Sophia and Herschel's barn... did he know she was in there? Let's examine the time line here. In Episode 1, everyone hides under cars on the highway as the zombie herd shuffles by. A couple of stragglers try to grab Sophia, who runs off into the woods. Rick follows her, tells her to hide under a fallen log, then runs off to dispatch the pursuing zombies. When he's done, Sophia is gone. Apparently she was attacked and bitten minutes later. They search for her in vain for a few days, before finding Herschel's farm in Episode 2.

So when exactly did Herschel put Sophia in the barn? Was it before Team Rick arrived? Or after? Either way, Herschel had to know who he had in the barn. At some point he found a "sick" little girl and stashed her in his barn. Then a group of people who just happen to be searching for a little girl shows up at his place. He had to make the connection.

Even if Herschel himself didn't put Sophia in the barn, one or more of his people did so. I guess it couldn't have been Jimmy, since he volunteered to help with the search. He wouldn't have done that if he knew she was in the barn. That leaves Otis, which would make sense. He died before Dale and the rest of the group arrived and resumed the search. So I suppose it's possible that Otis stashed Sophia in the barn and Herschel simply didn't know about it. But I'm not 100% convinced.

It's going to be a long wait until February!