It Came From The Cineplex: White House Down

White House Down is the latest from director Roland Emmerich, who also directed Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 BC and 2012. It stars Channing Tatum as Agent John Cale and Jaime Foxx (no relation to Redd) as President Sawyer.

Does the story of a lone government agent who must save the President when the White House is taken over by terrorists sound familiar? Well, it should. Just four short months ago we saw the exact same plot in Olympus Has Fallen.

The similarities between the two films border on the ridiculous:

• Both feature troubled agents who are trying to advance to the Secret Service, and are the only ones who can save the day.

• Both include terrorists who take over the White House and threaten the world with nuclear destruction. 

• Both films feature kids trapped inside the White House who use their extensive knowledge of the building's infrastructure to escape.  

• Both films have scenes of the military attacking the White House and being destroyed or turned back by anti-aircraft defenses on the roof.

• Both feature the seat of power being transferred to the Speaker of the House.

• Both showcase the hero creeping through the catacombs of the White House while taunting the villain over a radio.

• Both films feature endless scenes of computer hacking and people staring at monitors.

• Both depict the media extensively covering the fall of the White House.

You could play both movies side by side and they'd synch up almost perfectly.

It's just like Yoda said: "Always two there are. No more, no less."

This "Twin Movie" phenomenon is nothing new. In fact in the past few years there've been a shocking number of nearly identical movies that have come out at virtually the same time. One film of the pair is almost always a little smarter while the other is louder and dumber. For example:

• Antz and A Bug's Life

• Armageddon and Deep Impact

• The Matrix and The Thirteenth Floor

• Supernova and Pitch Black 

• Mission To Mars and Red Planet

• The Haunting and The House On Haunted Hill

• The Prestige and The Illusionist

• Volcano and Dante's Peak

• Turner & Hooch and K-9

• Finding Nemo and Shark Tale

• Top Gun and Iron Eagle

• The Abyss and Leviathan

• Tombstone and Wyatt Earp

• The Truman Show and EdTV

• Descent and The Cave

• Platoon and Full Metal Jacket

• Flightplan and Red Eye

• United 93 and World Trade Center

• Capote and Infamous

• The Road and The Book Of Eli

• Skyline and Battle Los Angeles

• After Earth and Oblivion

How does this keep happening? Is it just coincidence? Spying? Outright thievery? All of the above? However it occurs, it happens way more than you'd think.

Note that the poster above left out Godzilla and 10,000 BC, arguably two of Emmerich's worst efforts. Also note the figures of Tatum and Foxx. I'll give you my house if it turned out that the two of them were even in the same studio when those photos were shot. It's a pasteup job if ever I saw one. How can I be sure? Maybe it's something to do with the fact that Jaime Foxx's head is the exact same size as Channing Tatum's, even though he's standing well behind him. If it wasn't pasted up, then Foxx must have a head that's a foot and a half tall.

Once again Emmerich sets his sights on the White House, destroying it for at least the third time in one of his films. Seriously, what's that guy got against it? Does he hate paying taxes or something?

If you're a fan of Emmerich's usual end of the world opuses (opi?), you may be a bit disappointed with this film. Here the action's confined to pretty much just the White House, so he can't blow it up too early or the film will be over. So he has to settle for blowing up the Capitol rotunda and a few non-essential parts of the White House.

Lastly, I don't know if this means anything or not, but I was the youngest person at my showing of the film. Everyone else in the theater looked to be at least sixty years old. Odd.

The Plot:
For the second time this year, it's Die Hard in the White House. And once again this would have made a far better Die Hard movie than the recent sequel.

Pros:
• Some decent chemistry between the two leads.

• Channing Tatum is slowly winning me over as an actor. In the past I've ragged on him pretty harshly, saying he has about as much acting ability and screen presence as a sack of potatoes. Fortunately he seems to be improving lately. 

I'm also impressed that he's willing to make fun of himself, as seen in Jimmy Kimmel's Movie The Movie 2V and the recent This Is The End.

• I don't know why, but I enjoyed the extensive car chase on the White House lawn. Must have had something to do with seeing Tatum doing donuts in the Presidential limousine.

• Despite the fact that this is a big dumb action movie, it rewards you a bit for paying attention. Several times President Sawyer is seen fingering his pocket watch that was owned by Abraham Lincoln. Later on he gets shot in the gut by one of the mercenaries. Luckily for him the watch stops the bullet.

Early on we're told that Cale's daughter Emily won some sort of flag-waving competition (?). At the end of the film she grabs a tattered American flag and waves it on the White House lawn in order to prevent an air strike. Lucky for her she had that unique flag waving talent, eh? No ordinary citizen would ever be able to wave a flag.

The main villain still uses an old school pager. His accomplice uses one as well, which tips off the hero as to his identity.

• The hacker who infiltrates the White House computers is none other than Liam McPoyle from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia! Sadly he doesn't drink any milk.

Cons:
• Much of the plot revolves around President Sawyer's support of a controversial Middle East peace treaty and his decision to pull all American forces from the region.

I'm no politician, but even I know that would never happen. The entire region would be plunged into chaos (more so than it already is) within minutes of a troop withdrawal.

Surely they could have come up with a more plausible explanation for what's got the villains' panties in a bunch?

• The mercenaries who help take over the White House are all very over the top and dress like they stepped out of some 1980s Stallone or Schwarzenegger movie. A couple of them wouldn't have been out of place in a Mad Max film.

• At one point Sawyer changes into his Air Jordans to help him escape the White House. Seeing the President running around in old school kicks and a business suit was a bit too cutesy for my tastes.

• Sawyer carries around his aforementioned Abe Lincoln pocket watch, complete with an engraving from Mary Todd. He claims the first lady bought it for him for an anniversary present. Could that really happen? I know you can buy letters that Lincoln wrote, but a pocket watch… seems as if something like that would be priceless. It also seems like it ought to be in a museum.

• At one point Cale starts several fires inside the White House to activate the sprinkler system and distract the villains. That's the last we ever hear about the fires. Did the sprinklers put them out? They looked pretty extensive. I guess they must have, since the entire White House wasn't engulfed in flames. I think a better explanation would be that the screenwriter just forgot about it.

Definitely not original, but it's reasonably entertaining if you turn off your brain at the door. I give it a B.

What's In YOUR Coffee?

Grool stepped off of the teleporter pad and into the Probing Facility. He sighed heavily. "I can't believe it's Kronktor already," he thought. "Where the smorltz did the weekend go?

"Hey Grool," said Flurn, his coworker. "How was the weekend?"

"Short," muttered Grool.

"Want some coffee?" asked Flurn.

"No, I NEED some coffee," said Grool. "About a schlurgen of it. I'm not gonna be able to function this morning without my coffee." 

Odd how coffee was called coffee everywhere in the universe. Flurn poured a cup and handed it to Grool. He started to take a sip, but he wasn't quick enough. Smoke began to rise from the cup. It twisted and writhed as it solidified and formed into a hideous one-eyed caffeinoid. 

"Man, I gotta cut back on the caffeine," said Grool.

Grool was drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet.

Here's the sketchbook doodle I did of Grool. As you can see, he's not holding a cup of coffee and the snakey thing isn't coming out of it. Honestly I just drew the flying snake-thing to fill up space on the page in my sketchbook. 

About halfway through the drawing I almost erased the snake-thing because I couldn't think of a good reason for it to be there. At the last minute I decided to add the coffee cup to tie it all together.

Here's the tighter digital sketch of Grool.

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

I do a lot of criticizing and mocking of advertising and graphic design here at Bob Canada's BlogWorld. It ain't that I'm a jerk, it's just that most of the advertising I see around me begs to be mocked. It's just asking for it.

But in the interest of fair play, I thought I'd try actually praising a design for once. Just to see how it feels, you understand.

I saw this careening down the street a couple days ago. It's a delivery truck for a local tire store. That's their two mascots Ra & Ben (of Raben Tires, get it? Com-O-Dee!) seemingly being tossed around in the back of the truck.

I don't know who designed and created the graphic, but it's very well done. The two figures are either airbrushed or rendered in CGI, making them look like three dimensional characters.It really does look like they're peering out from under the half-raised door. If I was a coyote I'd probably try to jump inside (and flatten my head on the closed door).

The thing that impresses me the most about it is that the company's  logo is half obscured at the top, as if the door's rolling up inside the truck. Very bold of them to trust that the slack-jawed public will still be able to read it as "Raben." I bet that was a tough sell on the part of the designer, and frankly it's a miracle they agreed to it. Maybe they figured everyone would recognize the mascots?

Anyway, there you go. A positive review of some local graphic design for a change. Not quite as exciting as the usual brutal critique, but whaddya gonna do?

OK, Raben, I plugged your truck. I fully expect a 50% discount next time I come in. 

And They Were Never Seen Or Heard From Again...

Welcome to a new feature here at Bob Canada's BlogWorld: And They Were Never Seen Or Heard From Again.

Here we'll examine the phenomenon in which a TV series introduces a new character who's befriended by the main cast, becomes very important to them and then vanishes without a trace the moment the episode ends. It happens more often than you think.

Today we'll take a look at the Family Affair episode The Great Kow-Tow.

We begin with Uncle Bill entertaining the Changs, a sophisticated and urbane Chinese couple. The Changs appear to be old friends even though we've never seen them before.

Suddenly twins Buffy and Jody burst in to say goodnight to Uncle Bill. Mrs. Chang is mesmerized by their cheek-pinching cuteness.

In fact she's so smitten with the Twins that she offers to tuck them in, telling them a bedtime story about the mythical land of Fu Sang. She goes on about it for quite a long time in a transparent effort to pad out the running time.

Mrs. Chang decides she just can't get enough of the Twins and invites the whole family to their home for Chinese New Year, which just happens to be that weekend.

Cut to the gang arriving at the Chang's improbably spacious apartment, which is decorated in the Mid Century Oriental Restaurant Style.

They're introduced to Honorable Grandfather Chang. Poor Grampaw's health has begun to deteriorate because he feels there's no place for him in this modern world. He's even stopped eating, praying to whatever gods he worships for the sweet release of death.

The Changs shamefully admit they have two unseen and ungrateful teenaged children who want nothing to do with their culture or their fossil of a grandfather, which appears to be the cause of much of his tsuris.

But what's this? Grampaw Chang is so charmed by the Twins' toothy grins though that he's instantly invigorated. He leaps from his chair and starts showing them around the vast apartment.

Grampaw Chang is played by veteran character actor Keye Luke (of Kung Fu fame). He's dressed as stereotypically as you'd expect a Chinese man to be in a 1960s sitcom, complete with a long silk Cheongsam robe and small black hat. He's even got a wispy gray goatee and Fu Manchu mustache!

To his credit, Keye Luke gives the character as much dignity as the script and the 1960s will allow. Grampaw Chang speaks fluent English with nary a "Confucius say" or "Ah-so" to be found.

Unfortunately he's sporting some blatantly obvious fake gray hair and eyebrows in a lame attempt to make him look older than he really is (Luke was 64 at the time, but no doubt looked much younger). Maybe the makeup looked better on 1960s era TVs, what with their 250 scan lines of resolution.

The Wonder Twins are taken with Grampaw Chang too and start visiting him every day after school.

Since the Twins have no grandparents of their own, they ask the elder Chang to be their surrogate grandfather. They don't actually use the word "surrogate" though. They're six years old. That would be stupid.

Grampaw Chang is so touched by the tow-headed little Meigou Ren that he proudly accepts their offer. He even shows the Twins the family shrine and says they're now a part of his family as well, forever and for all time. It's a heartwarming occasion, as evidenced by the treacly violins on the soundtrack.

Grampaw then showers the Twins with gifts, including authentic Chinese clothing and their own pet birds. He even teaches them how to speak and write Mandarin. No doubt he's teaching them to write "F YOU!" notes to his horrible real grandkids.

Mr. and Mrs. Chang marvel at the change in Grampaw's health. The Twins have literally saved his life; giving him a reason to live again.

In the tag scene we see Jody, Buffy, Grampaw Chang and Mr. French in Central Park, "walking" their pet birds. The Twins tell Grampaw how much they love him and  how glad they are that he's their new grandfather.

AND HE WAS NEVER SEEN OR HEARD FROM AGAIN...

One week later it's like this episode never happened. He's never even mentioned in dialog again. The Twins seem so cute, cuddly and wholesome throughout this episode, but don't let them fool you! They're nothing but a pair of dirty, manipulative little liars! 

They made an old man believe they wanted him to be their grandfather and buttered him up for some free birds and some sweet clothes. Then something more exciting came along and they dropped him like a hot egg roll. God knows what that did to poor Grampaw Chang. No doubt he stopped eating again and was dead by Christmas. Then just for spite they probably called the Department of Immigration on the rest of the Changs, just to make sure they were all legal.

Out Of Context Mary Tyler Moore Show Moment

So I'm watching the Mary Tyler Moore show today and this happened:

Mary's parents dropped in for a visit. That's her dad next to her on the couch. Take a good look at him there...

He's a dead ringer for that Walter puppet in Jeff Dunham's inexplicably popular ventriloquism act!

Look at 'em! They're practically twins! It's like they sawed off the actor's head, let it sit in the sun to shrink a bit, and then screwed in on the neck of that puppet! Can a person copyright their face? If so, the family of the guy who played Mare's dad needs to file a lawsuit, pronto!

Tales From The Grocery: Spray Butter

A while back I got a second job as a cashier at a grocery store in order to pay off some bills. It was a miserable, humiliating and demoralizing experience in every measurable sense, and I got the hell out of there as soon as the bills were paid. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who has to work in such a place. 

Here is another terrifying Tale From The Grocery. All Tales are 100% true.

The store in which I worked was positively lousy with shoplifters. Someone was arrested there virtually every day I worked.

One day I came in and saw a swarm of police detaining yet another sticky-fingered perp. One of the officers was holding the item the thief had allegedly stolen. So what was it? Beer? Steaks? Batteries? Porn mags?

Nope. He stole spray butter. Yeah, I said spray butter.

You know, I could almost understand it if the guy had stolen medicine or baby formula. Something his infant child urgently needed. I wouldn't agree with his methods, but I could sympathize with his desperation. 

But spray butter? That's worth the risk of jail time? 

I guess his baked potato was just too damned dry and it needed buttered pronto whether he had the money or not.

I've Got A Familiar Feeling About This: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

In my continuing quest to rag on The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Even Amazinger an entire year before it even comes out, I present this:

It's our first good look at Jamie Foxx (no relation to Redd) as the super villain Electro.

He looks OK I guess, but something about him seems familiar... I can't quite figure out where I've seen him before...

Oh yeah. Now I remember.

"Allow me to break da ice. My name is Fweeze. Lehrn it well, fortiss da chillink sound uff your doom!"

The Eyeball Kid

It's the Eyeball Kid! Shown here brooding about how hard it is to find hats that fit. And sunglasses.

Practicing my painterly skills here, trying to be looser with the brush strokes instead of drawing the usual cartoon outlines.

His hair came out a little more bird nest-like than I intended, but it'll have to do. I'm not redrawing all 11,000 individual hairs.

The Eyeball Kid was drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet.

Here's the original pen & ink sketchbook doodle I did of the Kid. I changed a couple of things in the final drawing, namely adding a right ear and making his expression a bit sterner. Oh, and actually making his eyeball a circle instead of the deflated, pillowy thing it is here.

It Came From The Cineplex: World War Z

World War Z is Brad Pitt's latest and is based (very loosely) on the book by Max Brooks (son of comedian Mel Brooks!!!).

Pretty much everyone who's seen the film bemoans the fact that the movie has little or nothing to do with the book. To that I say a loud and hearty "Huzzah!"

I know I'm in the minority here, but I hate, hate, hated the book. In fact I hated it so much I couldn't even finish it. Rarely have I ever been so disappointed by a book.
 

It should have been right up my alley— a book about a world-wide zombie plague. So why all the hate from me? First of all it's not a conventional narrative. Instead the story is told through a series of interviews with survivors of the zombie war (very similar to The Good War by Studs Terkel). So from the very first page you know humans won the war. It's tough to create much tension when you know the outcome in advance.

Second, the book is far more concerned with the political fallout that would occur in such a war than with actual, you know, zombies. Pakistan and Iran destroy one another in a nuclear conflict. Israel builds an impenetrable wall around their country. America is overconfident, thinking their usual "shock and awe" tactics will work against the undead. China becomes a democracy as rebels take advantage of the war's chaos to overthrow the Communist government. Instead of a thrilling zombie story we get a lesson in theoretical political science.

There were a few interesting ideas, like Americans moving to the far north because zombies freeze in the cold, but by and large it was nothing but a bunch of politics punctuated by a few undead encounters whenever Brooks remembered the title of the book.

World War Z is actually a follow-up to Brooks first undead-themed book, The Zombie Survival Guide. Oddly enough I enjoyed that book quite a bit. Go figure.

The film was quite a troubled production, as many changes had to be made to the storyline (such as it was) in order to even make it filmable. Then there were massive last minute rewrites and reshoots, which is never a good sign.

Originally the third act was to feature a climactic battle scene between humans and zombies in Russia (which sounds pretty cool), but that was scrapped as a new ending was hurriedly written by Damon Lindelof, the writer who inflicted Prometheus and Star Trek Into Darkness upon the world.

With a history like that the film came out better than it had a right to, but it's still far from perfect. I liked it better than the book, which I admit is damning with faint praise.

Lastly why, oh why was this movie rated PG-13? It definitely needed bumped up to an R rating. Yes, I know that PG-13 films are more profitable, but a zombie movie needs some gore. By sticking with a PG-13 rating the filmmakers may have created the world's first blood-free zombie movie. Nary a drop to be seen in the entire film. There's far more blood and gore every week on The Walking Dead TV series. So why am I paying $7 to sit in the theater when I can see something better on TV?    

UNDEAD SPOILERS BELOW!

The Plot:  

Gerry Lane is a retired U.N. investigator who quits his job to spend more time with his wife and two daughters. One morning as he's driving the kids to school (I think), downtown Philadelphia is attacked by a horde of fast-moving zombies. Gerry and his family barely escape the chaos and he's called back into service to try and find a way to end the global zombie pandemic.

Gerry travels to Korea, Israel and Wales, dodging zombies while looking for answers. In Wales he finds a partial solution— the zombies won't attack anyone with a fatal illness. A vaccine is developed which makes humans invisible to the zombies. Humanity now has a small advantage as the film abruptly ends and the ushers wander in to sweep up the theater.

Pros:
• I liked the world-wide scope of the film (while it lasted). Usually in zombie movies the action is confined to a house or mall or a single city. I don't think we've ever seen a world-wide zombie infection on film before.

• The scenes of the outbreak in Philadelphia were very well done. It was pure chaos as the fast-moving zombies were leaping through the air and pouncing on their victims. You couldn't tell who was a zombie and who was human or which way you ought to run.

• I liked Gerry's make-shift zombie armor, which consisted of a rolled-up magazine duct taped to his forearm. Crude, but effective.

• Gerry's partial solution to the plague— infecting humans with meningitis to "camouflage" them from the zombies— was an interesting idea and something I'd not seen before.

• We hear a report that there's no zombie outbreak in North Korea because the government ordered all citizens to have their teeth pulled! That way if anyone is infected they can't bite anyone else and spread the infection. Ingenious, and given how nusty cuckoo North Korea is these days, totally believable!

• Is there really a W.H.O. (World Health Organization) facility in Cardiff? I really hope so, because Cardiff is where Doctor Who is filmed! Com-O-Dee!

Cons:  

• For the hero of the piece, Gerry doesn't seem all that heroic. After he and his family narrowly make it to safety aboard an aircraft carrier, Gerry's old U.N. boss Thierry wants him to come back to work for him to help stop the zombie plague. When Gerry refuses, Thierry tells him if he doesn't help, he and his family will have to leave the safety of the ship. In effect Gerry has to be blackmailed into helping.

• During the fall of Philadelphia Gerry sees victims spasm, contort and turn into zombies in twelve seconds. That's an awfully short time for the virus to run its course. It takes about a minute for your blood to make one circuit through your body. That means the zombie virus is spreading faster than your blood moves. Now that's a virulent disease!

• Gerry and his family barely make it to a waiting helicopter as they flee Philly. In the confusion Gerry accidentally gets some zombie blood in his mouth and stops before entering the chopper. He counts down to twelve, fully expecting the virus in the blood to turn him. Miraculously it doesn't.

Seems like if a zombie's bite transfers the virus, its blood ought to as well. Luckily for Gerry it doesn't, and this particular subplot is promptly dropped.

• This movie features fast running zombies rather than the traditional slow, shuffling ones. Unlike others I don't have anything against fast zombies. Zombies that can run you down are definitely scarier than ones you can escape at a brisk walk.

That said, I think I prefer slow zombies. When I see a slow, shambling zombie it's much easier for me to believe it's a reanimated corpse. When I see a fast one I have a hard time remembering it's supposed to be dead. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of a dead person who can run like a cheetah.

• In Israel, Gerry's military escort Segen is bitten on the wrist by a zombie. Thinking fast, Gerry chops off her forearm with a machete that he apparently pulled out of his arse (I don't remember seeing him carrying any kind of weapon prior to this, but I could be wrong). At least I think that's what happened, as the anemic PG-13 rating kept all this conveniently and chastely offscreen. This is a part of the movie where that rating really bit them in the ass.

Several things here. First off, Gerry and Segen are attacked by zombies and quickly dispatch them. They then take a few seconds to catch their breath. Segen then looks down in horror to see the bite on her arm. It seemed like it took perilously close to twelve seconds for this all to happen, if not more. She should have been well on her way to spasming and turning into a zombie.

Amazingly after Gerry hacks off Segen's arm, he's not splattered with blood from the fountain-like arterial spray that should be pouring forth from her wound. She bleeds nary a drop from this grievous injury as she runs around with a small, nearly blood-free bandage wrapped around the end of her stump.

A few minutes later Gerry and Segen are running through the streets of Jerusalem trying to make it to the airport. Luckily for Segen none of this activity elevates her heart rate and causes her to bleed even more profusely from her makeshift surgery.

Later on the plane, Gerry has time to tend to Segen's wound with more care. He removes the first bandage, disinfects the stump with some booze and wraps it more securely. Again, no blood spurts from the wound. I guess she must have those self-sealing arteries I've heard so much about lately.

By the way, when Gerry asks her name, she says to call her "Segen." It's unlikely that's really her name. "Segen" is an Israeli military rank similar to a lieutenant.

• Why the hell is Matthew Fox (of LOST fame) in this movie for ten seconds? He shows up to escort Gerry's family from the aircraft carrier and then promptly disappears from the movie. I can only assume he originally had a much bigger part in the original cut that was whittled down to nothing during all the reshoots and editing.

• What a lucky break that Gerry and Segen, the two main characters on the plane are the only ones who survive the crash.

• Once the plane crashes in Cardiff, Gerry and Segen miraculously wander right up to the front door of the W.H.O. I guess they must have picked up a road map at a gas station. This is the point where the rewrites and reshoots really show. The first two thirds of the film had a world-wide scope, but suddenly this third act ignores all that and becomes a confined and claustrophobic "avoid the zombies in the lab" story. 

• Gerry discovers a chink in the zombies' armor: These aren't your usual brain-eating zombies; they only bite in order to spread the virus. But they seem to ignore victims that are terminally ill. From this Gerry reasons that if you infected yourself with a lethal disease you'll become "invisible" to the zombies.

As I mentioned earlier, that's certainly an interesting idea, but I don't buy it. In Philadelphia the zombies were running full throttle and leaping on top of people. I didn't see any of them taking the time to sniff their victims to assess their health.

And why would a zombie care if a person was terminally ill or not? Think of it like this: Someone with a terminal disease is going to die, right? So what does the zombie virus do? It KILLS people! Why the hell would they care if they killed someone who was going to die anyway?

• Pretty much every big zombie set piece in the film— the panic in Philly, the Jerusalem wall attack, the explosion on the plane, etc.— is in the trailer. If you've seen the trailer, you've seen a good 75% or more of the effects work.

• Once Gerry figures out his dubious "camouflage by disease" solution, the film sputters, coughs a few times and then abruptly ends. It's like they were running out of film and realized they needed to wrap things up quickly.

• Instead of a proper denouement, we're given the dreaded "ray of hope" ending. Gerry drones on in voiceover that the war isn't over, but humanity now has a chance.

We got the exact same non-ending in The Darkest Hour and the recent Red Dawn remake. It's a hell of an unsatisfying way to end your damn movie.

I'm assuming the filmmakers are so certain that this movie's going to be a hit that they're leaving the door open for a sequel or trilogy. I wouldn't hold my breath if I was them.

• Unintentional hilarity— during the end credits we see this line:

Geraldine Jones.......... Personal hairstylist to Mr. Pitt.

Somebody did that to his hair on purpose?

Plenty of World, but not nearly enough War or Z. At least it wasn't like the book, which I loathed. I give it a B-.

How To Draw Hair Highlights in Photoshop

Gather round kids, it's time for another art lesson! Today we're gonna learn how to draw highlights in a character's hair.

Take a good look at Rockabilly Vampire's impressive gravity-defying coif here. Notice how it glistens and shines in the light, as if it's been coated with hair gel or "product" as the hairdressers like to call it?

Hair highlights are something I've struggled with for years. Not on my own head, mind you, but on the heads of characters I draw. I've never been able to figure out a good way to draw them that satisfied me and didn't take hours and hours to render. 

Until now. I think I've finally come up with a good way to simulate gleaming hair highlights. There are probably other better ways to do this, but this is the one I came up with. 

Note: These steps are for Photoshop, but would probably work in any bitmap drawing program that features layers.

First you've got to start with a drawing. Kind of makes sense, right? Your line drawing should be on its own layer, preferably at the top.

Make a new layer underneath the line drawing layer and add color, shading and whatever else you've got planned.

Here's where the highlight part comes in. Make a new layer above your color layer. Pick a color that's a bit lighter than the hair and draw a thick stripe across the front of the hair (where the light source is coming from).

I used a scratchy brush with fuzzy edges to draw the highlight. I dialed the flow of the brush down to around 20% to draw the middle of the stripe, then lowered it to 1% or 2% to blend in the edges (the edge blending is important). 

Try to follow the contour of the hair to help define the shape and give it some dimension.

Next pick a color that's a big lighter and color the center of the stripe. The two tones help make the highlight look more realistic.

Once that's done, make a copy of this highlight layer. Why a copy? Because you're gonna start erasing it and if you're anything like me you're gonna mess it up and need to start over, so having a copy of it will save time and prevent lots of cursing and mouse-throwing.

OK, once you've made a copy of this highlight layer, turn off the original. Now take your eraser tool and start erasing vertical stripes in the highlight. Use a sharp brush for the eraser and leave it at 100% strength. I like to make four or five thick stripes all across the highlight to serve as guides for the additional erased lines that'll be coming later.

Again, try to make the erased lines follow the contour of the hair. Don't just erase perfectly straight lines.

Once that's done, keep going and erase the rest of your lines in the highlight stripe. Vary the lines; thin next to thick looks best. Remember, you're supposed to be simulating strands of hair here.They also don't all have to go all the way through the highlight, some can stop halfway through.

If you're satisfied with the way the stripes look, good for you! Most likely you'll want to try it again, and that's where your foresight and planning pays off-- you made a copy of the highlight, remember? So now you can copy it again and give it another go.

Once you're happy with the stripes, pick a fuzzy brush for the eraser, dial it down to 1% and erase the edges a bit more to make them blend in better. 

That's it! You've just created cool glistening highlights in your character's hair! Now go brag about it on Facebook and Instagram it or whatever the hell people are doing these days.

Things I Just Don't Get: Sitting VS Sleeping

Lately doctors everywhere are coming out of the woodwork telling us that sitting can kill you. They say if you work in and office and sit all day you're gonna die early. No exceptions, it's your destiny! Never mind that humans have been sitting since... well, since we first developed asses. Suddenly it's bad for us. In fact it's so bad that they're urging us all to stand at our desks. Like that's ever going to happen.

First of all, I call bull hockey on this. I've been working in various offices since the late 1980s and I've yet to see a single dead body slumped over at a desk. If what these doctors are telling us is true then the floors of offices nationwide should be strewn with corpses.

Secondly, what about sleeping? If sitting can kill you, then sleeping ought to be positively lethal. Every time I go to bed should be my last. At least when I'm sitting at work I occasionally get up to go to the bathroom or to a meeting. And I probably walk back and forth to the printer twenty or thirty times in a day. I don't sit all day.

When I'm sleeping though I lie motionless for eight hours like a big banana slug. So shouldn't that be at least as bad as sitting? Logically it should be worse. So where are all the doctors warning us about the dangers of sleeping? Why aren't they telling us we should all be standing while we sleep?

It's another thing I just don't get!

R.I.P. Sammy Terry

It's a sad day for Hoosier horror fans: Bob Carter, who played Indianapolis TV horror host Sammy Terry, has died at age 83. 

Sammy Terry was known throughout Central Indiana as the host of Nightmare Theater on Channel 4. He hosted the show for three decades, from 1962 to 1989.

Every Friday night Sammy would hoist himself out of his coffin, utter his trademark sinister chortle and introduce various horror and sci-fi films. His sidekick was a large spider named George who spoke gibberish that only Sammy could understand.

In real life Bob Carter had a far less fiendish occupation: he owned and operated the Family Music Center in Indianapolis. He did his best to keep the two jobs separate and I'm sure many a customer bought an oboe from him without ever knowing they were in the presence of a ghoulish TV star.

Carter was married to his wife Phyllis for 59 years (!) and had four children.

In recent years Carter's health began to fade and his son Mark took over the Sammy Terry role, appearing at various horror conventions. Hopefully Sammy's legacy will live on through him.

I have very fond memories of watching Sammy Terry back in the day. In the pre-home video days of the 1960s and 1970s you couldn't watch movies on demand. If you wanted to see a particular film you just had hope it would come on TV some day. Sammy's show was a godsend, as he regularly aired old horror and sci-fi movies on Nightmare Theater. Sammy introduced me to Frankenstein and Godzilla movies and many more. I wouldn't be a horror fan today if not for him.

You can read more of my reminiscences about Sammy Terry here.

Guyclops

It's Guyclops! Is he alien or monster? No man can say. One thing's for sure, when he travels he always takes the red eye flight! He's got a real eye for the ladies, and would give his eye teeth for them, especially if they're easy on the eye! Don't let him catch you stealin' out of the corner of his eye; he won't turn a blind eye because when it comes to justice, he believes in an eye for an eye! Always look him in the eye, but don't make eyes at him! He won't bat an eye if you yell, "Here's mud in your eye," unless he's tired, in which case he'll grab some shut eye.

OK, I'm done now.

Guyclops was drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet. 

 Here's the original sketchbook doodle of Guyclops. He started out a lot thinner. And moister.

Here's the digital sketch I did of him. He seemed like a character that needed to be a little chubbier, so I widened him a bit. I also made his head and eye bigger. If you're gonna draw a character with one big eye, you might as well go for it and make it a really big eye.

Holy Sequel!

This week NBC announced they're producing a sequel to the History Channel's epic miniseries The Bible that aired earlier this year. Yep, a sequel.

The new miniseries is reportedly titled A.D., Beyond The Bible. It tells the story of a resurrected Jesus who leads the rebel fleet in an all-out attack against the forces of the Empire and the second Death Ark. Or something like that.

If the series is a success, look for NBC to start pumping out more sequels such as Schindler's List Part II, Thelma & Louise Ride Again and The Further Adventures Of Titanic.