Justice League: The Snyder Cut, Or Be Careful What You Wish For

It's finally here! The trailer no one wanted for the film that no one asked for— Justice League: The Snyder Cut! 

Actually that's not true. Ever since the execrable Justice League movie premiered in 2017, fans have been asking— nay, DEMANDING— that Warner Bros. release Zack Snyder's original version of the film.

Snyder directed the bulk of the film, but stepped down after the untimely death of his daughter. Joss Whedon was then brought in to shoot "just a few scenes" to finish the movie.

That's the version Warner Bros. desperately wants us to believe. Those who actually worked on the film tell a different tale. One in which the studio was so displeased with Synder's work that they fired him and hired Whedon to try and salvage the picture. According to crew members, Whedon reshot a whopping NINETY PERCENT of the film. 

Reaction to the movie was mixed to say the least. The film grossed $650 million worldwide against its massive $300 million budget. That sounds great until you realize that due to marketing and other hidden costs, movies need to gross twice their production budget before they show a profit. Justice League ended up costing Warner Bros. around $60 million.

Immediately after it premiered, the chants of "Release The Snyder Cut" began. After three years, Warner Bros. apparently got tired of the constant whinging and gave in. They rehired Snyder and handed him a whopping $30 MILLION to finish his vision of the film.

I honestly don't understand this at all. Snyder's version was reportedly so terrible they hired another director to fix it! And even then the finished product was virtually unwatchable. So imagine what the original version must be like! Why would anyone want to see a movie that's worse than an already bad one?

Anyway, with all that out of the way, the trailer for Justice League: The Snyder Cut or Zack Snyder's Justice League or whatever the hell it's called debuted this week. And what a trailer it is, too!

First of all, Snyder apparently has some sort of weird boner for late singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen. He used his song Hallelujah a few years ago in Watchmen, and it serves as the soundtrack for this trailer as well. Jesus, find a new song already, Synder.

My favorite part of the trailer comes is the first few seconds, when we get a good glimpse at the movie's villain Darkseid.

Darkseid was created by talented artist & writer Jack Kirby back in 1971, and has become DC's version of Thanos over at Marvel.

Wow. Just look at this stunningly lifelike character, who's realized through the finest CGI that 1997 had to offer!

Jesus Christ! That... that can't possibly be a finished shot from this redo, can it? You're supposed to put finished shots in the trailer, DC! Not anamatics or works-in-progress. Wow. These look like PS1-era graphics!

Think back to Infinity War & Endgame, and how absolutely real Thanos looked in every scene. Now check out Darkseid again. He looks slightly less realistic than characters from Reboot!

Are ALL the FX in The Snyder Cut gonna look like this? Because if this is what $30 million dollars buys these days, the movie's gonna get laughed off whatever screen it appears on.

After seeing the trailer, I have a feeling this is going to be a case of "Be Careful What You Wish For."

With Friends Like These...

Welp, for good or ill (mostly ill), the new Star Wars: The Rise Of Gorge, er, I mean Skywalker trailer dropped this week. Eh, what's the hurry, Disney? The movie premieres in less than two months. Why rush things?

Predictably, the internet lost its collective mind over the new trailer. YouTube was filled with hundreds of reaction videos, featuring fans screaming in ecstasy or welling up in tears over every single scene.

As for myself, the only emotion it generated was boredom. Disney killed my love for Star Wars long ago, and I'm just done with it. The trailer had no effect on me whatsoever, as I couldn't possibly care less what happens in the new film. I haven't even decided if I'm gonna bother seeing it or not.

After the trailer premiered, fans meticulously pored over every single frame, looking for clues as to the plot. Oddly enough, there are numerous shots of ships and locations, but few scenes that hint at the actual plot. This lends credence to the rumors that the movie is in serious trouble, and Disney's still frantically reshooting it in a flailing effort to cobble together a coherent story.

But I digest.

There's exactly one scene in the trailer that features an actual minor plot point, involving everyone's least favorite droid C-3PO.

We see some kind of space gremlin has apparently taken the back off 3PO's head and is soldering wires to upgrade him to HBO or something.

Poe Dameron then does a pretty impressive Jeff Goldblum impression, as he says, "What uh... what are you doin' there, 3PO?"

The golden droid then gazes at the assembled group and says, "Taking one last look, sir... at my friends."

What the hell?

I'm assuming they're getting ready to wipe 3PO's memory here for some reason, or send him on some suicide mission, and this is supposed to be some tear-jerking Death Of Dobby-type moment. Or one to rival the death of Tony Stark. When I saw it though all I could think was, "Who the hell's he talking about?"

NONE of those people in that middle image are his friends! I don't think he's ever shared a single scene or word of dialogue with Poe, Rey or Finn. And even if he did, I'd hardly call them his friends. They're all casual acquaintances at best!

It's likely that droids have electronic brains that can handle billions of calculations per second. If that's true, then maybe the five seconds he's spent with this group feels like years to him, so he thinks of them as friends, despite the fact that they've never spoken to him before.

I like to think that when 3PO mentions his friends, he's actually shut off his photorecptors and is replaying a recording of these three in his head, completely ignoring the mooks in front of him.

Thanks, I Hate It

This week Recorded Picture Company, an Italian movie studio I've never heard of, released a trailer for their upcoming adaptation of Pinocchio.

Here's a shot of the title character from the trailer. Jesus Jetskiing Kee-rist! Thanks, I hate Pinocchio now.

The movie stars Roberto Benigni as Geppetto, which is reason enough to avoid it right there. Benigni actually played Pinocchio in a 2002 film adaptation (when he was a young boy of just 50 years old!), so I guess his casting here as Geppetto is supposed to be an in-joke or homage or something.

The entire trailer is nothing but pure nightmare fuel, featuring what appears to be a series of ghastly fever dreams pulled straight from the mind of a Skid Row drug addict attempting to go cold turkey.

Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself at these horrors from the trailer:

You've got what appears to be a Shakespearean ape...

Creepy marionettes fondling Pinocchio without his consent...

Bird man barristers...

A half woman, half mollusk, with a giant snail shell for an ass...

A literal dog soldier...

And what may or may not be the Blue Fairy, who looks incredibly off-putting here.

Granted, it's been a lonnnnnng time since I read the book, but I don't remember any of these horrifying characters being in it.

The worst part though is definitely still Pinocchio. He doesn't just reside in the Uncanny Valley, he took an excavator and dug several new sublevels BELOW it! I think the most disturbing thing about him is his appallingly disturbing eyes. It kind of looks like they tried to superimpose some kid's real eyes over a CGI face. And somehow the eyes look both real and dead at the same time. 

There's nothing lovable or cute about this character. In fact every time I see it I just want to club it in the head with a shovel till it stops moving. 

I assume this is a kids' movie, but be prepared for lots of sleepless nights if you insist on screening it for your brood.

It's Official— We're A Nation Of Pussies!

This week New Line Cinema studio caused an uproar with a teaser trailer to its upcoming new horror film The Nun. The prequel tells the origin of Valak, the demonic nun from The Conjuring 2.

The trailer's similar to those internet videos that were all the rage ten or fifteen years ago. You remember how they worked— someone would send you what appeared to be a funny dog or cat video, and while you were watching, suddenly a scary face would appear on the screen and shriek.

This new The Nun trailer— which is all of seven seconds long— is similar to those earlier ones.

It starts out with a black screen, and what appears to be a volume control being adjusted for some reason (?).

Then at the six second mark, this screaming face of the titular Nun pops up. That's it! That's all there is to it!

Apparently this horrific abomination is the most terrifying thing modern YouTubers have ever seen, and has caused many a pair of pants to be soiled.

Here's just a sampling of their complaints about the trailer:

Jesus wept.

These dainty pantywaists were so distressed and traumatized by the trailer they began voicing their outrage to YouTube. They agreed that it was too scary (!!!) and pulled the trailer.

So it's come to this. We've somehow become a society of milksops who're so delicate and fragile that we can't handle someone popping up and shouting, "BOO!" 

If these pantywaists can't handle a simple little YouTube video, they're really gonna crumple into a ball when their boss yells at them for screwing up a report or missing a deadline.

The Pussification of America is now complete. Well done, Helicopter Parents!

Any day I fully expect to see a mother lose custody of her child for buying them a Jack-In-The Box, a husband arrested for putting on a mask and scaring his wife and an uncle fined for asking his nephew to pull his finger.

Batman V Superman V Logic

This week the new trailer for the Dark Knight V Hopeman, er, I mean Batman V Superman movie was released. Yawn.

I absolutely hated Man Of Steel, and I don't much care for the grim and gritty Nolanesque version of Batman. I'm also not a fan of Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns comic, that this movie's partly based on. So I couldn't be less excited about this film.

The trailer's quite a piece of work, as it neatly spells out the entire plot of the movie in two minutes or less. Seriously, after watching it I could sit down right now and bang out a version of the script that would be virtually indistinguishable from the real thing. I don't see how there could be any surprises left when the actual film premieres next year. Way to go, trailer!

There was one scene in the trailer that I thought was absolutely hilarious and feel compelled to point out, so let the unfair and premature mocking begin!

At one point in the trailer, we see a family clinging precariously to the roof of their home as flood water rise all around them. In desperation they've painted an SOS to Superman, hoping against hope he'll appear and save them in time.

Wow, that is some damned impressive typography they painted on the roof of their house! Especially for people who are busy dying in a flood. They even added the little serif at the top of the "S!" This has got to be the house of a graphic designer.

"Honey, be careful! The sign's good enough! Get away from the edge of the roof before you fall in!"

"Are you crazy, Edna? If I don't get the curve of this S just right if we want Superman to save us! Otherwise he might fly down here and snap our necks in anger!"

Note that they apparently had the foresight to bring a bucket of paint, a brush and a paint tray up onto their roof, but apparently didn't bring any food or blankets.

You know, they could have saved a lot of time and effort and just painted "HELP" on their roof like normal humans would. Now the rescue copters are gonna pass them by because they only want help from Superman.

"Look down there, Joe! Some people trapped on their roof who need our help. You get the rope and I'll hover the copter above 'em."

"Eh, never mind, Charlie! They don't want our help. They're holdin' out fer Supes ta save 'em!"

Be Careful What You Wish For

Last week a new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer premiered at Comic-Con. 

Unlike most trailers, this one gave us three minutes or so of behind the scenes footage. They spent a good amount of time loudly trumpeting the fact that the new film is shunning the overuse of CGI and green screen, and is using real sets, real props and real prosthetic makeup and creature costumes wherever possible.

Here's one of those practical creature costumes they're crowing about.

Um... are we sure we don't want maybe a little CGI? Just a smidge?

On the other hand, it's always nice to see a member of the Banana Splits getting work again.

I Have An Awfully Familiar Feeling About This...

To all the Star Wars fans who are losing their collective sh*t over the new trailer that premiered today...

I'd just like to remind everyone that we all had a similar reaction way back in 1998 when this trailer came out. And we all remember how that turned out, don't we?

I vividly remember sixteen years ago when fans were working themselves into a lather when The Phantom Menace was released, exhaustively analyzing ever single frame. Heck, things got so crazy that fans actually paid good money for tickets to the movie Meet Joe Black, just because the trailer was playing before it. And once they'd seen the brief two minute trailer, they exited the theater en masse!

And then the movie finally premiered, and I vividly remember seeing the broken and shattered bodies of fans lining the streets afterward. It wasn't pretty.

Those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it. Don't believe me? Then take a look at this.

This little scene played at the end of The Phantom Menace trailer. Rabid fans went ballistic when they saw Darth Maul brandish a brand new double-bladed lightsaber, a type we'd never before seen. 

And now at the end of this new trailer, rabid fans are going ballistic when they see this mystery figure brandish a brand new hilted lightsaber, a type we've never before seen.

It's 1998 all over again. History's repeating itself before my very eyes. So I suggest that everyone just try to settle the hell down.

It's perfectly fine to look forward to the new film, but don't raise your hopes too high. That generally just results in them being dashed soundly and painfully against the rocks. Let's all remain calm and rational and be cautiously optimistic about the new film, OK?

Look, I know how everyone feels. I've been a Star Wars fan since I first saw it in 1977, and I want it to be good just as much as everyone else does. But it's being directed and co-written by one Mr. JJ Abrams, the same man who coughed up this little cinematic hairball on our floors last year. Remember how we all sat helplessly and watched as he took our beloved Star Trek and wooed it, abused it and then dumped it unceremoniously into the gutter the next morning like a cheap hooker? What man would want you now, Star Trek?

I see no reason at this point to assume his treatment of Star Wars will be any different.

No matter how good this new film may turn out to be, there's no way it can possibly live up to the hype that's already swirling around it. It's just not possible. The movie you imagine in your head is always going to better than the real thing.

So let's all do our best to remain calm and be cautiously optimistic.

Things I Learned From The New "Transformers: Age Of Extinction" Trailer

The trailer for the upcoming Transformers: Age Of Extinction debuted today, and was met with much indifference by me.

I thought the first Transformers movie was probably as good as a movie about giant transforming robots is ever likely to be. The second one was an incomprehensible collection of set pieces crudely edited together and I didn't even bother seeing the third one. 

So far this one looks like more of the same. But hey, it's got giant robots fighting giant mechanical dinosaurs, so it's got that going for itself.

While watching the trailer I couldn't help but notice this:

It's kind of tough to see in a still image, but at one point Optimal Primus (or whoever this is) roars with rage at something and you can actually see his breath in the cool morning air. So apparently robots breathe and exhale hot air when they yell. Got it.

I have a nagging feeling that that's the least stupid thing in this film.

As a bonus, here's one of the character postesr from the film. Because this is a Michael Bay movie, by law it has to feature the American flag flying proudly in the background (see pretty much every scene in Armageddon). Even if I didn't know this was a Transformers poster I'd be able to identify it as a Bay film!

I've Got A Slightly Less Bad, But Still Ominous Feeling About This: The Robocop Remake Trailer

Well, for good or ill the trailer for the upcoming RoboCop remake premiered this week.

RoboCop is a movie that doesn't need to be remade. The original film is as close to perfect as a movie can be. Sure it's full of action, explosions and over-the-top violence, but it has its share of smart moments as well-- it's a thinking man's action film. Murphy's horrifying transformation and his attempts to reconnect with his lost humanity, the depiction of the downfall of American industry and plenty of sharp, social satire (most of which is found in the ubiquitous TV commercials interspersed throughout the film) all work to make it a cut above the usual action fare. I don't see any way to improve it.

Back in May I blogged about the first on-set photos of the new RoboCop suit and how awful I thought it looked. I hated the black, generic Iron Man-like armor and the incongruous sight of actor Joel Kinnaman's baby face sticking uncovered out of the helmet. Everything about it screamed "a ten on the absolute and unqualified disaster Richter scale" to me.

The trailer has calmed my fears slightly. After seeing it I now have a small, atom-thick scrap of hope that it won't be the complete and utter waste of time that it probably will be.

It's slickly produced, the pieces are all there and it has a surprisingly excellent cast. It appears to hit all the same beats as the original (making me wonder "why bother?") with few or no surprises, and worst of all, the satire, humor and humanity all seem to be missing. I see no evidence of any kind of the social commentary that made the original so much fun to watch.

Let's dissect this trailer and give it far, far, more obsessive attention than it deserves, shall we?

As the trailer opens we see a run-down, decrepit city in the year 2028. 

OK, already here's something I don't like-- setting the film in a specific year. 2028 is only fifteen short years from now. Will we really have the technology to put a man's brain inside a robot in fifteen years? I doubt it. You're just asking for trouble when you lock your film into a specific time period. Either the things you predict won't have come true by then or they'll have happened way before then. Either way you and your film just end up looking stupid.

The original movie didn't specify any date. It was vaguely set "in the near future," which is a much smarter move.

OK, back to the run-down, decrepit city. Is this supposed to be Detroit, where the original film was set? Is there a large mountain range like that anywhere near Detroit? I'm thinking nope. This looks more like someplace in the Middle East.

Note that there are what appear to be ED-209 enforcement droids, as well as several RoboCops, patrolling the streets.

From this I'm assuming that this world has all-robotic RoboCop drones that perform less than perfectly or lack human judgement and Alex Murphy will become the first human/robotic hybrid.

Well now this is definitely Detroit! And it could be the present day, not 2028.

Hey, hey, don't send hate mail, Detroit residents (if there are any left). I kid because I love.

Oh boy, another futuristic computer interface that uses broad, sweeping physical gestures to move files around instead of a mouse. I'll bet everyone in all these recent sci-fi movies has tremendous upper-body strength after hurling their computer files to and fro all day.

Is she watching Frank Sinatra while she's supposed to be looking at RoboCop's CAT-Scan? I guess Ol' Blue Eyes still has fans in 2028.

Hey, Iron Man! How's it going?

Samuel L. Jackson!!! What in the name of ill-conceived remakes is he doing here?

I assume he's the equivalent of The Old Man character (played by Dan O'Herlihy in the original)? Except here his name's "Pat Novak." Yawn.

I have an ominous feeling that the "Samuel L. Jackson Hair Rule" may be in full effect here. What's that, you ask? As a general rule, the quality of a film is inversely proportional to how much hair SLJ has and how oddly its styled. If he's completely bald in a film then it's more likely to be good (see The Avengers). If he's got weird hair, well then you're in for a bad time (see The Spirit). 

It doesn't work every time (he had hair in Django Unchained and that one was pretty good), but it's true more often than not.

Gary Oldman!!! I'll say this for it, this gilded turd has an impressive cast. If nothing else it'll be amusing to watch and try to decide whose career it'll damage the most.

Apparently he'll be playing the doctor who puts Murphy back together again.

Well I'll be... Michael Keaton apparently wandered onto the set while the cameras were rolling. Doesn't it look for all the world like they're filming him during the script read-through?

He's supposedly playing the head of OminCorp, so I guess he's the equivalent of the Dick Jones (Ronny Cox) character from the original.

Jay Baruchel, no!!! I'm betting he'll be the Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer) analog.

This is the scene in which the remake craps all over the legacy of the original film. Keaton and Baruchel are seen here critiquing the RoboCop design. Note that the image on the screen is clearly the original 1987 version, and Keaton is saying he doesn't like it and wants it to look more tactical and to make it black. Har, har.

This is obviously meant to be a shout out or a little in-joke, but to me it just comes off as a big F-U to the fans of the original movie.

Aw, look. Alex Murphy's got the perfect family. A beautiful wife, an adorable kid... things couldn't be any better. Nothing could ever possibly go wrong.

Err... um, Murphy, maybe you shouldn't...

Oh Sweet Jesus!

This marks a fundamental difference from the original. There Murphy was personally tortured and slaughtered (with gusto!) by Clarence Boddicker and his gang. This put a face on those who took everything from him and gave Murphy a nemesis he could hunt down. 

It also gave us one of the best villains in all of moviedom. 

I'm not seeing anyone in this trailer who appears to be a Boddicker analog. I suppose it's possible they just didn't have time to cram everyone into it and had to leave him out, but his absence is making me think that in this version, the person responsible for Murphy's slaughter and the creation of RoboCop is supposed to be a secret and will be part of a big reveal in the third act.

So who orders the hit? My guess is one of the above.

Of course I'm basing this theory on scenes from one measly trailer and I could be way, way off, so take all this with a large grain of salt.

I thought MGM went bankrupt a few years ago? Isn't that why The Hobbit was delayed for a decade or so? I guess they must have got better.

"We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better. Stronger. Faster."

Although it sounds weird, Gary Oldman's statement that Murphy suffers from FOURTH degree burns is technically accurate. You don't hear about them often, but there really is such a thing. Of course a fourth degree burn affects tissues well below the skin, such as muscle and even bone, which isn't evident here. His burns look like third degree at most.

Also note the x-ray at the right. It shows Murphy's left leg terminating just above the knee, but his entire leg seems to be gone as we see him lying on the bed. Whoops!

"Why in the name of Data's Pasty Bumhole would you leave me with one flesh and blood hand?"

Indeed. Why would you give a robot a real hand? What possible advantage would there be? So he can use palm scanners to enter buildings?

Note that in the original movie the Bob Morton character was inspecting RoboCop during his construction and noticed that he still had a flesh and blood arm. When he asked why, a medical technician said something about how they were able to save it and Morton barked, "Lose the arm!" 

Is the real arm in this film some kind of weird homage to that scene? 

And even if for some bizarre reason you decided to leave him with a real arm, why the hell would you leave his hand totally unprotected? Do they not have armored gloves in 2028?

And how the hell would that even work? Is it a robotic arm with a flesh and blood hand stuck to the wrist?

The real arm heavily implies that in this remake Murphy's mutilated body is somehow stuffed inside the robotic suit. This was definitely not the case in the original. There RoboCop had a completely robotic body, not a suit. The only parts of Murphy that remained were his brain, a couple of internal organs and the skin of his face that was stretched over his robotic skull.

"What do you mean they cancelled True Blood? Who's responsible for this? Tell me!!!"

OK, I have to admit that he looks pretty cool when his helmet finally slams down in place. So why do I have a feeling that he's gonna spend most of the movie with it up?

When I first saw this on-set photo, it appeared that he wouldn't be wearing any kind of protective visor, which I thought was a monumentally stupid idea. But after seeing the trailer it appears that the two red dots at the top of his helmet are most likely CGI markers so they can add a visor in post production-- I guess because it would be too hard for Kinnaman to see through the extremely narrow slit?

So it looks like RoboCop will have several different looks throughout the film. If I had to guess I'd say he starts out his proper silver color here-- which again looks pretty cool and fairly close to the original-- and then gets a glossy black paint job near the end of the film.

I much prefer the original silver coloring, but that said I admit the black doesn't look too awfully bad (in this scene at least), especially with the infrared eye slit.

"Michael, I'm detecting a felony in the area."

"Thanks, KITT!"

"Also Michael, when are you going to take me in for an oil change? I'm way past the 5 month or 5,000 mile due date."

Here's the OmniCorp building. I guess they're no longer OCP, Omni Consumer Products. Not sure why they would bother to change something minor like that, but there you go.

Here's another huge deviation from the original: it appears that Murphy's wife knows what happened (she even authorizes the robofication procedure!) and interacts with him after his transformation. In the original his wife and son only appeared in flashbacks.

I can't tell yet if this is a good thing or a stupid thing.

"Dad?"

"Yes, son."

"Um... why did they leave your right arm and hand intact?"

"To provide me with a link to my former humanity, so I don't become a soulless machine. Understand, buddy?"

"Uh-huh. But isn't a flesh and blood arm a weakness? Doesn't it make you less strong?"

"No, sport. It makes me stronger on the inside. In my heart. Now how about you? How are you holding up?"

"It's just... you're supposed to be this unstoppable killing machine but they give you an unprotected and vulnerable..."

"JESUS JETSKIING CHRIST, will you forget about the goddamned arm for five seconds? I swear if you ask me about it one more time I will snap your neck with BOTH hands, human AND robot!"

 Jackie Earle Haley? Jesus, how'd they manage to get an amazing cast like this? Blackmail?

Here's RoboCop practicing his "land in an iconic Iron Man pose" jump.

RoboCop apparently battles a couple of ED-209s during the film. 

"Hey, if they liked him fighting one in the original, they'll LOVE him fighting two in the remake!"

Once again I like this silver suit. It pays homage to the original while updating it.

Man Or Machine? Original catchphrase, or horribly trite cliche?

Here's a better look at the ED-209 or whatever they're calling it here. I don't have any problems with this new design. It looks like a decent update to me.

 

Look at that stop sign in the background though. Where exactly is this scene taking place? That's definitely not English. It looks a lot like Arabic or something similar. Is there a "Little Bagdad" in Detroit in 2028?

I'm guessing part of the film takes place in Iraq. Apparently the filmmakers believe we'll still have troops there in 2028 (which given the way things are going, isn't all that crazy a notion).

I'm not exactly sure what we're looking at here. Is this RoboCop? I don't think it is-- it doesn't quite look like any of his suits from the other scenes. It almost looks like this suit has desert camouflage. I think this is most likely one of the RoboDrones.

Here we see some of Tony Stark's extra suits from Iron Man 3 attacking. Or perhaps it's a squad of all-robot RoboDrones (with no human brains inside) that apparently clash with RoboCop.

If you look closely you'll see those are RoboDrones on the scaffolding and the real RoboCop is down there on the ground, posing in the middle of the screen. 

I'm guessing the RoboDrones are guarding and protecting the Big Bad of the film (Michael Keaton?) and RoboCop has to fight his way through them to get to him.

RoboCop using a RoboDrone as a shield. Um... isn't he an armor-clad robot? Why's he need a shield? To protect his ridiculous flesh and blood arm, maybe?

Another good look at the RoboDrones. 

I'm kind of wondering if they're in the film so that RoboCop can massacre scores of them instead of real people, ensuring the film a more lucrative PG-13 rating instead of an R? I hope not, but it would not surprise me.

Nope, I'm not liking the black paint job. Can't really put my finger on why; I just don't. The black helmet looks cool, but the rest of the suit leaves me cold.

"Dead Or Alive, You're Coming With Me!"

You didn't think they film a remake without saying that, did you?

The title card  looks pretty familiar, doesn't it? If it ain't broke, don't redesign it I guess. 

So there's the RoboCop remake trailer. I have to say it looks better than I expected. I still don't believe there's any way it'll be better than the original though. There seems to be little or nothing new being brought to the table and worst of all, it looks completely humorless and totally lacking the social satire that made the original so much fun to watch.

It doesn't look like a complete and utter debacle like the horrible Total Recall remake, but it still doesn't look particularly good. We'll find out for sure sometime next year.